You guys, I am being terrorized by a stalker, and his name is Brandy and he is a Siamese kitty. He's staying with me while his owner is in the hospital, and if he were the only cat you'd ever encountered in your life, you would laugh when people say they are aloof, because he is very sweet and affectionate--almost too affectionate.
One of his favorite things to do is lick me. Hands, arms, whatever, but he especially loves licking my face. When he isn't licking my face, he's licking his genitals, so I'm not so keen on being licked. Also, he licked the backs of my hands so much (stealth licks, the ones he would sneak in before I could stop him) that when I got in the shower yesterday morning the water actually stung. I think he's taken off two layers of skin at this point.
But the really weird thing is the way he won't sit in my lap to be petted; he wants to put his paws on my chest and get right up in my face and gaze into my eyes and lick me. He will not be dissuaded. I put him down on the couch, he climbs back up. I gently push him back down into my lap, he gets right back up on my chest. When I turn my face away he will, no shit, put his little paw on my cheek and turn my head so he can stare intently at me and lick my chin. You guys, it is like living with Pepe Le Pew! "Come on darling, we must be grown up about zis thing; do not run away from ze love!"
This goes on for hours. If I'm lucky, he will go sit by the patio door and watch the chipmunks while I'm doing stuff around the house (as opposed to following me around and nagging me to pay attention to him), but as soon as I sit down on the couch, there he is in a flash, and we start all over again.
He can only be put off for so long, because eventually I have to sleep, and then I inevitably wake up to the ominous sound of purring, which means I better move fast and get the blanket up over my face. And pull my hands into my shirtsleeves so he can't lick those, either. At which point he settles down on the pillow next to my head. And waits.
"Ah, ma cherie, zis is an affaire d'amour, is it not? It is an affair of we love each ozzer madly!" Mwah mwah mwah!
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comments! Ah ha ha ha ha!
One of his favorite things to do is lick me. Hands, arms, whatever, but he especially loves licking my face. When he isn't licking my face, he's licking his genitals, so I'm not so keen on being licked. Also, he licked the backs of my hands so much (stealth licks, the ones he would sneak in before I could stop him) that when I got in the shower yesterday morning the water actually stung. I think he's taken off two layers of skin at this point.
But the really weird thing is the way he won't sit in my lap to be petted; he wants to put his paws on my chest and get right up in my face and gaze into my eyes and lick me. He will not be dissuaded. I put him down on the couch, he climbs back up. I gently push him back down into my lap, he gets right back up on my chest. When I turn my face away he will, no shit, put his little paw on my cheek and turn my head so he can stare intently at me and lick my chin. You guys, it is like living with Pepe Le Pew! "Come on darling, we must be grown up about zis thing; do not run away from ze love!"
This goes on for hours. If I'm lucky, he will go sit by the patio door and watch the chipmunks while I'm doing stuff around the house (as opposed to following me around and nagging me to pay attention to him), but as soon as I sit down on the couch, there he is in a flash, and we start all over again.
He can only be put off for so long, because eventually I have to sleep, and then I inevitably wake up to the ominous sound of purring, which means I better move fast and get the blanket up over my face. And pull my hands into my shirtsleeves so he can't lick those, either. At which point he settles down on the pillow next to my head. And waits.
"Ah, ma cherie, zis is an affaire d'amour, is it not? It is an affair of we love each ozzer madly!" Mwah mwah mwah!
Count von Count would like you to know that over at Dreamwidth this post has
Feels Like: licked
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