British children do not call their friends' parents 'sir' or 'ma'am'.
They try to avoid calling them anything. If they have<\/em> to, they call them 'Mr\/Mrs Surname', at which point the parents will usually say, \"Oh, call me First Name,\" and the kids will nod and return to not calling them anything. (Hell, I still<\/em> have trouble calling my childhood friends' parents by their first names, and I've known most of them for more than twenty years.)
Male teachers will get called 'sir', but it's as an alternative to a name, not as a term of respect. In fact, it'll often be given just enough insolence to be verging on an insult. Female teachers will get called 'miss' in the same way. It's almost a, 'You aren't important enough for me to bother learning your name'.
Frankly, if that was the standard that women<\/em> had to live up to, I'd be thrilled<\/em>.
(And I'd like to point out that the ones with the 'best' bodies are the ones who rarely take their kit off. It's normally Mat, Larry and Jim who are running around starkers.)
Because the way he licks his lips just before taking Terri off to talk about being pharaoh up a Nile made of shit? ALL THE PORN.
Okay, he's fifty and dubiously evil and doesn't exactly have the kind of looks to challenge Sterek. But if you paired him with Olly, the name smush would be Molly, and that leads to molly houses, so it would be totally awesome! (Oh, god, now I want the Regency AU. Malcolm Tucker conniving and scheming against the Corn Laws!) (Oh, or the PM is on a trip to Iraq, accompanied by Malcolm, and they meet the Gen Kill guys! Malcolm\/Ray!)(Or, to hook in the fans of Horrible Histories mumcandy, Malcolm\/Adam Kenyon!)
Also, it's nearly 2am and I haven't had anything to eat since lunchtime. That may be influencing my levels of giddy glee.
You have excellent taste!
And here's a bit more wibbling about my requests, should you be interested...
Only one of these canons ends with a happy ending for my requested characters, which is possibly why I'm so into post-canon. Happy endings are awesome! Yay for happiness!
So while I want you to feel free to completely<\/em> ignore what I've written here and in my optional details, I really would prefer you to avoid the misery.
Mechanique - Genevieve Valentine<\/strong>, Bird, Stenos<\/em>
I love the dysfunctional relationship between these two. It totally hits my kink for a couple who love each other but haven't realised it (and probably never will). There's someting so gorgeously brittle about them as a couple. As I said in my sign-up, I'd love to see something with them post-canon, to see if they ever meet again or just continue with Bird in the distance and Stenos never quite sure if it's her or something else.
How to Make It in America<\/strong>, Edie Weitz, Rachel Chapman, Tim<\/em>
First of all, don't feel you have to strong-arm all three into the story if they don't fit! I'd be perfectly happy with a story about one or two of them. That said - does Rachel introduce Edie to Tim? What does Edie think of Rachel's Brooklyn hipster commune existence? Does Rachel think hipster polyamory's awesome? Does Edie<\/em> think hipster polyamory's awesome? What's the history of Tim's tattoos? And why a kitten?
The Wire<\/strong>, Ziggy Sobotka<\/em>
Oh, Ziggy<\/em>. Okay, he's Ziggy, so odds are that he'll be shivved within the first month prison, but it would be lovely if you managed to stick your fingers in your ears and ignore that for long enough to give him something approaching a happy ending. Maybe he gets shivved but survives! And while in hospital recovering, he... I don't know. I have no idea<\/em> how to give him a happy ending, but hopefully you have a better imagination than me and can figure it out!
The Thick Of It<\/strong>, Malcolm Tucker<\/em>
This is a late addition to my sign-up, because the final episode broke me<\/em>. Malcolm shouldn't be defeated! Malcolm will rise again!
I love that he's conniving and manipulative (and shouty and sweary), but has that (very, very, very) deep down, steel core of ethics, of belief<\/em> in what he's conniving and manipulating for<\/em>. (My headcanon is that he didn't scheme harder against being arrested because he was actually shocked at what the job had driven him to. Which also explains his rant to Ollie.)
<\/a>
Yeah, sorry. I diverted into Why I Love Malcolm Tucker.
If you want to ship\/slash him with somebody, that would be awesome, too! And I would be happy with whoever took your fancy!
I hope that helps you, Yuletide Author! But, really, if you write anything<\/em> for any of these fandoms, I will be utterly, utterly gleeful!
Love,
Derry
You can tell I should be studying, can't you? (JNCIA exam a week tomorrow. Blargh. Hate exams.)
(Also, I am confused about how JNCIA stands for Juniper Networks Certified Associate.)
Looking at my major fandom crushes of the past few years, the common denominator appears to be 'really good at insults'.
(Also, yay! Awesome riding lesson today! Even though I have, very sadly, been promoted off Dessie. Wah! My pretty, pretty princess! I now have Candy, who is another 16hh cob, but piebald instead of black. And far more willing to move. And I got complimented on my seat!)
Also, Oliver's fresh from a trekking centre, so isn't entirely used to this 'manege' nonsense. He likes straight lines and gets very unbalanced on turns. Circles are hilarious. But he does a lovely turn on the forehand.
Here, have a picture of Dessie, because she is a pretty, pretty princess<\/em>.
I don't think I've got enough plasters to cover the wounds.
If I'm found slaughtered in my bed in the morning, Hellbeast did it.
Opening at a random page and picking the first article:
'An American paper - it must be American - tells a story of a wedded couple who, with one table and one bed, have not spoken to one another for eight years. They are on the best of terms, and no doubt for that reason. The Yankee, however, tells us that \"each is too proud to speak first.\" If such are the fruits of pride, how foolish it is to attempt to teach women humility!'
Of course, the truly horrifying thing is that this kind of shit would still be published today (albeit phrased more simply, and probably without the 'LOL AMERICANS!' angle). It's just that it would be ironic<\/em>, and therefore totally okay<\/em> and not at all something to complain about<\/em>.
I have signed up for Yuletide, but I'm not sure I won't cancel my sign-up. I've got my warbigbang to finish (oh, god, I haven't even looked at it since before Connotations) and YAGKYAS.
But if I do carry on being signed up for Yuletide, my requests are:
Mechanique - Bird, Stenos
How to Make It in America - Rachel, Edie, Tim
The Wire - Ziggy Sobotka
Yes, okay, there is a PJ Ransone-esque vibe to two thirds of my requests. I CAN'T HELP IT. IT'S HIS STUPID FACE.
I've been extremely stingy with my offers, which I think is for the best. And I'll probably be even stingier before sign-ups close.
HOWEVER. BIGBANG. YAGKYAS. FUCK, WORK TOMORROW. DON'T WANNA.
SPEEEEEEEEEDY! Speedy is a girl, yay! And Ollie's sister, which kind of cuts down on the potential for porn, dammit.
Anyway, being-Ollie's-sibling is like no Speedy ever.
Name (Thea) is a lot more similar to Mia than Roy. Also, girl.
Drugs are definitely more Roy than Mia.
I DON'T CARE. THERE IS A SPEEDY. QUICKLY, PUT HER IN A COSTUME AND GIVE HER A BOW AND ARROW. SPEEEEEEEEEEEDY!
Now, if only Cissie could make an appearance.
OMIGOD, CISSIE\/THEA! I AM SHIPPING IT LIEK WHOA.
<\/a>
I'm so pleased that I still have the perfect icon for this series.
It's true. Don't bother even trying to deny it.
Think of your favourite white guys. Think of Lucy Liu playing them. ISN'T IT BETTER WITH LUCY LIU?
Lucy Liu as Sherlock Holmes.
Lucy Liu as Kerr Avon.
Lucy Liu as Cowley.
Lucy Liu as the Doctor.
Lucy Liu as Rory.
Lucy Liu as Captain Jack Harkness.
Lucy Liu as Batman.
Lucy Liu as Iron Man.
I can't think of a single example that WOULDN'T be better with Lucy Liu.
(Back from Connotations. Cat is glued to me. Already miss Connotations.)
Does this mean I'm going to have to go to Tumblr to get my fandom fix? I DON'T WANNA. Specially as somebody else has my name over there.
ARGH. CATS. I should have stuck with hamsters.
However!
I've got round the issue by buying a watch where no metal touches the skin<\/em>. I've been wearing it for two days now, and haven't got the slightest hint of itchiness, so I think it's a win. Also, it's pretty. With just the sliiiiiightest<\/em> hint of a smidge of steampunkiness about it, when seen from the right angle.
I am very pleased.<\/a>
In retrospect, I can't quite understand why I thought it was real.
More worryingly, I woke up wanting to watch it.