Sometimes it feels like all TV is weird now, because it all has to be eight to ten episodes and tell one gigantic story, and set up series two but also stand alone and ensure that every episode is brilliant but also that you watch all the way to the end… and so shows like The Office or The Sopranos just couldn’t exist. And then you have Only Murders in the Building which rises to the format effortlessly. The murder mystery is perfect for this new format of prestige TV. An out of work old TV detective teaming up with a pompous producer and a tween would actually be exactly how you would write an old 1980s TV show, when you think about it, and there would be mysteries every episode. Yet in adapting to this new format it feels fresh. It doesn’t help that Steve Martin is a comic genius, the cast is flawless, the direction and photography stunning, the settings gorgeous and the costuming unbelievable. I always feel very spoiled when a new series begins. When Rian Johnson makes a movie it’s like I know this one BBQ place in a back-alley that somehow foodies also like but it’s really just that this guy and I know each other and he and I vibe. When Only Murders comes back it’s like I’m at a fancy New York restaurant and the chef would like me to try some new EXPERIMENT. It’s decadent, but it’s also as comfortable as going back to your parents’ for a home cooked meal.

Naturally, I want to do it justice with Partners. Perhaps you do too. Perhaps this is the jog of an elbow you need to pull out your rulebook and play along with your own mystery in your own building.

OMITB doesn’t look like your standard two-act Partners show but Martin and Short are absolutely the stick in the mud and the loose cannon. And Mabel is a combination of Oddball and Touchstone, or if you like, a second Straight Shooter. The core rules of Partners says to take turns with who sets the shot up and who concludes it, but you can just as easily pass the jobs around in a circle. Any participant can set up a question and anyone can resolve it. Or, for an OMITB feel, have the third player describe the architecture, set dressing or costuming in the scene, before or after the crime takes place. I’d do perhaps three scenes per “episode”, then break, and doing the finale in one final episode, for a five part series. It’s always a bit shorter in an RPG – no room for montages or lingering shots or extra jokes added in the “punch-up” (actually those are the jokes your friends do around the edges, of course).

(Don’t worry if your show gets too silly. It might another great show about an old TV detective solving mysteries, like Lookwell)

If you want some extra tables to get you in the OMITB mood, you can substitute this one below to get your Victim and the one following to get your four Suspects. You might also find inspiration in the Teatime Files, the expansion by Cameron Hays which focusses on cosier murder settings and styles.

Card	Victim
A	Fellow tenant
2	Annoying friend
3	Super/landlord/coop head
4	Busybody/gossip/stalker
5	Family member
6	Podcaster/Amateur Detective
7	TV Detective
8	Real Detective
9	Famous Actor
10	Not So Famous Actor
J	Backstage Worker
Q	Angry Producer
K	Tortured Artist

Card	Relationship with Victim
A	Neighbour
2	Relative
3	Co-Star
4	Rival
5	Enemy
6	Financially Entangled
7	Boss or Employee
8	Support Staff/Fan
9	Lover
10	Partner
J	Draw again, ignoring court cards, add “Ex-“
Q	Draw again, ignoring court cards, add “-to-be”
K	Draw again, ignoring court cards, add “Secret”

Ambrose Bierce was one of the 19th century’s greatest minds and sharpest wits and his most prominent legacy was his Devil’s Dictionary. Not only does it continue to delight readers, it has also prompted others of the passing 120 years since it was published to add entries in a similar style, so I thought I would have a go today with some new entries. I encourage you to add or email me your own.

Asymmetrical: A magic word that helps dispel the wrath of Playtesters (q.v).

BGG Rating: A device fitted to a game by a website to announce how impressive the owner of the game is.

Broken: A state occupied by games which you do not own.

Complexity: A device fitted to games by a website that announces how clever the owner of the game is.

Expansion: A way to solve the problem that game prices are too small by making game rules too big.

Heavy: a game too complex for your tastes. The opposite is Light, a game too simple for your tastes.

Kickstarter: an alchemical process that turns buckets of cold cash into BGG hotness.

Luck: A demon trapped in games by wicked designers that causes you to lose and your opponent to win. Not to be confused with Skill, which does the opposite.

Max Player Count: a number equal to one less than the number of people at the game table.

Multiplayer Solitaire: A situation where your inability to make small talk is now a game designers fault.

OP: A demon that is associated with Luck (q.v.). Always possessed of items used by your opponent but is entirely the fault of the game designer and suggests the existence of Broken (q.v.).

Playtime: an imaginary number, bearing no relationship to reality.

Playtester: A creature that is rewarded with attention every time it complains and as such has learned to somehow find fault in absolute perfection.

Prototype: a miraculous item that always arrives by mail the day after the trade show or playtest event

Publisher: Individual who does not design, test, illustrate, lay out, print, ship, market, promote or sell your game and takes fifty percent for this service. The other fifty percent goes to the Distributor.

Quarterbacking: A situation where your inability to discuss things is a game designers fault.

Replayability: A key factor in determining the BGG Rating of a game that will never be played in the first place.

Solo Mode: A situation where your inability to make friends is now a game designers fault.

Sleeves: Plastic sheathes sold to prevent wear and tear occurring to cards that are never used more than once.

Winning Strategy aka Strat: A numbered item. If a game has too many of them it is a Point Salad. If it has too few it is Broken. If it has the right amount, it is Solvable, which is another kind of Broken (q.v).

Unbalanced: A state occupied by games you own, but do not win.