{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:daah_ya","title":"There's nothing in here.","subtitle":"zillyjay","author":{"name":"zillyjay"},"link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/data\/atom"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"service.feed","type":"application\/x.atom+xml","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/data\/atom","title":"There's nothing in here."}}],"updated":"2006-07-22T13:32:51Z","entry":[{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:daah_ya:54940","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/54940.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=54940"}}],"title":"Moving Out","published":"2005-08-01T11:51:38Z","updated":"2006-07-22T13:32:51Z","content":"Dear wanderer! I am sorry to inform you that you have reached a dead end. However, the former inhabitant of this place can now be found at <\/a>zillyjay<\/b><\/a><\/span> ..."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:daah_ya:54518","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/54518.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=54518"}}],"title":"Hahaha.","published":"2005-07-28T09:56:16Z","updated":"2005-09-30T11:00:33Z","content":"You know how I recently wrote \"I just had the funniest conversation of my life\"? Well, apparently I've had an even funnier one yesterday evening, considering that last time I certainly did not<\/i> land my face in a package of chocolate cookies because I was laughing so hard. Admittedly, there weren't even any chocolate cookies around at the time, but I don't recall my chin colliding with the desk, either.

Chin: Hello, cookie!
Cookie: Ouch, that hurt<\/i>!

Also went to amusement park with family and had fun on trampolines. I love trampolines.

21:51:35 what ships are made for:<\/b> fgaljfaohf .wodg,owiftp qofiPK
21:52:23 oh dear:<\/b> you alright?
21:52:35 what ships are made for:<\/b> nnngpflrg

22:08:06 what ships are made for:<\/b> i just saw the navigation: \"most viewed - top rated.....\"
22:08:21 what ships are made for:<\/b> and i read \"MOSTLY NAKED\" and was like OMGWHERE????
22:09:23 oh dear:<\/b> *rofl*
22:09:58 what ships are made for:<\/b> you may quote me on this. i'm pretty funny.

23:57:43 oh dear:<\/b> am now listening to sex pistols (\"black leather\") on crappy headphones.
23:57:58 what ships are made for:<\/b> only way to go.
23:58:06 oh dear:<\/b> huh?
23:58:12 what ships are made for:<\/b> crappy headphones.
23:58:20 oh dear:<\/b> mmmpf. hat them.
23:58:26 oh dear:<\/b> ate.
23:58:28 oh dear:<\/b> no.
23:58:30 oh dear:<\/b> hate.
23:58:31 what ships are made for:<\/b> *snort*

00:39:39 oh dear:<\/b> pizza deson't make noises.
00:39:46 what ships are made for:<\/b> oh yeah?
00:39:52 what ships are made for:<\/b> ever really listened to one?
00:40:03 oh dear:<\/b> ...

00:51:29 oh dear:<\/b> are you sirius?
00:51:59 what ships are made for:<\/b> certainly not.
00:52:11 oh dear:<\/b> eee, guildenstern.

Alright, I just realized that the really<\/i> funny part of the conversation is impossible to quote without using MSN smilies. Also, it contains jokes that nobody would get. (Nobody will get the last one either if they don't know Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead<\/u>, heee.) Do I really want to quote the rest of it, anyway? Nah. Was very, very funny though.

And grr, all the Gary Oldman movies that we want to see are impossibly hard to get here in Germany. Or worse, they're only available in German<\/i>. o_O"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:daah_ya:53749","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/53749.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=53749"}}],"title":"Dum dee dum ...","published":"2005-07-25T18:17:49Z","updated":"2005-07-25T18:21:36Z","content":"Before we went swimming yesterday, I decided that shaving my legs would probably be a good idea* so as to avoid getting strange looks. Well, at school I really did get strange looks a few years ago, and some people kept reminding me that I \"forgot to shave them\", which was getting on my nerves so much that I actually started doing it.

Trying to shave my legs quickly turned into doing complicated acrobatics in the tub for half an hour, and then I gave up, thinking that at least half of the hair must be gone by now. How the hell do other people do it? Is there some kind of trick to it or am I just untalented? In any case I don't get what's so special about legs anyway, I mean, we don't shave our arms or anything either, do we? Why LEGS?! Now my bloody trousers feel all funny and uncomfortable on my skin** and what the hell.

*I'll never make that mistake again.
**That was the actual point of this. I wanted to complain about my clothes feeling strange, haha.



This is me looking weird.




Heh. My camera is so awesome, you never really know what's going to be on the picture. I've seen pics of walls, the floor, random body parts ...




What caused this pic? I don't know.




That was right before we left.




Heee, my sister looking mischievous.




I like this one!




... After swimming. Hahaha. There's something I like about this one, too - but my nose is shiny and looks even weirder than usual.


And guess what? Soon I'm going to get a real<\/i> camera! A good one! That's because my mother ordered some kind of super-advantage-package mobile phone thingie (...), including a digital camera FOR FREE. And seeing as I am the only person here who knows what digital means (or at least, who knows how to use a digital camera), I am going to get it. Ha. So cool."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:daah_ya:53485","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/53485.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=53485"}}],"title":"Tell me why do I feel this way ...","published":"2005-07-24T21:11:57Z","updated":"2005-07-24T21:11:57Z","content":"I'm tired of not being able to answer questions.

\"Have you ever had depression?\" - Uhm, perhaps ...
\"What's your sexuality?\" - Well, I used to think<\/i> ...
\"Are you male or female?\" - Uhm ... actually<\/i> I am ...
\"Why are you going to therapy?\" - Er. You know, I started<\/i> because ...
\"What's your PROBLEM??\" - Uh. Argh. &asdfghjkl; .

I'm beginning to feel like an alien among lots and lots of easily categorizable people. Even those who go to therapy with me at least know what their problem IS. They all fit into categories. Their problems are typical, recognizable, solvable. I'm tired of this. I want to be anorexic or something, people would know what it means. I just can't stand this anymore. I want to be able to answer questions with yes or no instead of hour-filling tales of confusion.

Went swimming with family today. Was confused. Had fun though."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:daah_ya:53136","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/53136.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=53136"}}],"title":"Graa?","published":"2005-07-21T15:23:38Z","updated":"2005-07-21T15:23:38Z","content":"Is it just my imagination or is the internet being, er, kind of ... quiet? Except for the Harry Potter message boards, of course. Oh my, that reminds me - I totally forgot that I don't have to avoid them anymore! Duh. So I guess I'll have loads of threads to read this evening.

Reading the book and people's reactions to it has once again brought to my attention that I am a) very convincing, b) hard to convince, and c) easily influenced. Strange mixture, that, but true nonetheless. I have been told that trying to convince me of something is rather frustrating. Like banging your head against the wall, or something. But still I am indeed easily influenced by simply liking a person who has one certain opinion, and all of a sudden I find myself, say, feeling bad about the 6th Harry Potter book although that certainly wasn't the case when I<\/i> read it. Gah.

In other news, I forgot what else I was going to say and I'm reading way too much Crowley\/Aziraphale fanfiction. Too much meaning something along the lines of all there is<\/i> ..."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:daah_ya:52753","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/52753.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=52753"}}],"title":"When the wind is southerly ...","published":"2005-07-21T10:32:03Z","updated":"2005-07-21T10:32:03Z","content":"Oooh, I love the weather! It's raining and raining and I like that. Some days ago it was warm and sunny and I took pictures, but they got lost. It was on Saturday, of course, the day on which everything went wrong. But it's the full moon today and it's raining, so I'm happy.

Ever since I received my copy of HP&tHBP (...) I've been typo-ing all over the place. Wonder what's up with that. Perhaps my fingers are shaky because that was on Saturday as well, or maybe my keyboard is sticky. Hmmm. I think my favourite one so far is \"imlove sea shorese!\", which was supposed<\/i> to be \"I love sea horses!\" ... Or this.

23:33:07 oh dear: rrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
23:33:10 oh dear: i mean eeeeeeeeeeeee
23:33:28 oh dear: if my typos get any weirder i'll doe
23:33:30 oh dear: die

Well. That was that. I also discovered that I hardly know how to use a pen anymore because it's been half a year since I had to. My handwriting seems to have changed a lot since then, which is weird.

Okay, if I start writing about the things I actually<\/i> wanted to say now, this entry will get decidedly too long. Or something."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:daah_ya:52713","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/52713.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=52713"}}],"title":"*rolls eyes*","published":"2005-07-18T23:58:08Z","updated":"2005-07-19T00:02:01Z","content":"Okay. I should really go to bed ... and my headache is just getting better, so this is a good opportunity ... and I hadn't wanted to post another entry before finding out if anybody wants to behead me, actually ... and I'm tired ... so what.

I've finally read my flist now, yo.

1) The Malfoys. Narcissa. Why hasn't anybody mentioned Narcissa. I was very surprised that the whole Lucius-is-probably-safer-in-Azkaban thing and the Narcissa-is-a-Death-Eater-but-kinda-neglects-Voldemort's-orders-to-protect-her-precious-son thing and the Draco-is-forced-to-kill-people-but-can't thing actually turned out to be true. I mean, how FANON is that?! Don't tell me it isn't. Hello, Draco crying his eyes out in the bathroom? Uh huh? I particularly loved the scene with Bellatrix, Narcissa and Snape in the beginning. (And Wormtail, mwahaha.)

2) Dear Tom Riddle. WTF? I really, really, really don't like that he was apparently BORN EVIL and stuff. I mean, of course he IS evil, I don't doubt that, I'd even go so far as to say he's 100% evil, but where's the bloody REASON?! Nobody is born with a desire to become immortal and take over the world, I refuse to accept that. That's the first thing I didn't like.

3) While we're at it, Tonks?? OH NO. Woe is me. I really like her, but ... Moony ... no ... I don't want this ... make it go awaaay!! That's the second thing. Hahaha, I bet you expected something else.

4) Dumbledore. I had been expecting that for a while, so I wasn't too shocked ... I still screamed \"No!\", though, because I hadn't expected it to happen that<\/i> way. It was weird. I'm not exactly sad that he's gone, now, I never was a big Dumbledore fan, but it means that everything's going to be very different. The 7th book is going to be very different from the rest of them, that's a bit unsettling.

5) SNAPE. asdfghjkl. Right from the beginning of the book I expected that it must be him ... No, not quite from the beginning, I didn't really start thinking<\/i> about it until after quite some time. But then I just knew it. I liked that! Potions being Harry's best subject all of a sudden, that was funny ... And the killing Dumbledore bit? Oh, I don't know. He would have died if he hadn't done it, eh? And someone<\/i> would have killed Dumbledore after all, so ... That creepy werewolf fellow shocked me a lot more than Snape because I'm still not sure whose side he's on. Actually I was still convinced that he was on Dumbledore's side throughout the whole book, it was just a feeling that I had, until I started thinking about it. Then I thought, okay ... maybe he isn't. It's a possibility. But his little speech in the beginning ... arrgh, I can't quite form coherent thoughts yet, let's just say that I don't think this HAS to mean he's evil.

*goes to bed*

ETA: Harry\/Ginny? Why not. I was actually quite sad that he kind of broke up with her in the end."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:daah_ya:52381","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/52381.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=52381"}}],"title":"OH MY GOD.","published":"2005-07-18T22:43:08Z","updated":"2005-07-18T22:43:08Z","content":"I couldn't resist it anymore, I finished the book.

I was RIGHT. I just ... I knew it.

And it was perfect.

Yes, you can behead me now, thank you very much.

I still haven't read anybody else's opinion although I just know that most people must be all shocked and angry and stuff, but I don't care! I love the whole book except for, er ... two minor details (one of which made me furious, furious<\/i> I say) ... well, never mind that."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:daah_ya:52002","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/52002.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=52002"}}],"title":"Hehehe.","published":"2005-07-18T12:23:24Z","updated":"2005-07-18T12:23:24Z","content":"I am still ignoring my flist, all Harry Potter sites and almost everything else because I haven't finished the book. I guess I could have finished it by now if I had tried, maybe even yesterday. It's funny how fast I changed my mind from \"OMG I just have to read incredibly fast and be the first to finish it!!!11!1\" (What was the expression I used on Friday? Compulsively competitive?) to \"OMG I have to stop reading so that <\/a>dollrock<\/b><\/a><\/span> can catch up and we can discuss what we've read so far!!!11!1\" How unusual for me.

In any case I just died laughing because I took this test<\/a> and found out that apparently I'm an \"Evil Genius\" (or alternatively an \"SEDF - Sober Emotional Destructive Follower\"). Hahaha. The funny thing is that I never try<\/i> to get these results, I also never try<\/i> to be sorted into Slytherin and all that, it just happens. Most of the time the further descriptions aren't even accurate, like this one:

\"You are extremely focused and difficult to distract from your tasks. With luck, you have learned to channel your energies into improving your intellect, rather than destroying the weak and unsuspecting.

Your friends may find you remote and a hard nut to crack. Few of your peers know you very well--even those you have known a long time--because you have expert control of the face you put forth to the world. You prefer to observe, calculate, discern and decide. Your decisions are final, and your desire to be right is impenetrable.

You are not to be messed with. You may explode.\"

Honestly, I mean ... do I destroy the weak and unsuspecting??

Ten minutes later: Oh no. My mother and my brother have just returned unexpectedly. I am so dead. I didn't do anything while they were gone. The house is a mess. Okay, so I did spend most of the time SUFFERING, but how do I explain that to my mother?"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:daah_ya:51723","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/51723.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=51723"}}],"title":"WTF","published":"2005-07-17T01:50:16Z","updated":"2005-07-17T01:51:29Z","content":"It's three in the morning and I can't sleep. If I was in a good mood, I'd probably add \"Oh dear, I actually smacked my forehead in public while reading a book\" to my list of \"Oh dear, I actually\"-occurances, but that is definitely not the case.

I'd almost say that ... July 16 ... was the worst ... day ... of my entire life ... so far. Honestly.

I'll tell you of my woes as there's not much else that one can do at this time of night. Yes, so I did go on that journey to the hospital to visit my poor little brother. What I hadn't quite expected was that it suddenly turned into a much longer journey of about three and a half hours because I had confused the names of some stations and ended up at the other end of the city instead. I was not amused.

Discovering that the only thing I had forgotten to take with me was my food and the only thing I had forgotten to think of in the first place was something to drink didn't improve my situation at all. Tired, starved and exhausted, but nevertheless excited about what I had managed to read of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince<\/u> so far, I didn't stay there for a very long time. Of course it was already quite late anyway, and therefore I got off the train at the very beginning of a 130-minute gap in the bus schedule. Haha. I was even less amused than before.

So I decided to take a different bus instead, which would at least get me a bit closer<\/i> to home, and it did, and from then on everything would have went well if the next bus hadn't had the wrong number on it. You know, I'm fairly certain that I saw a big \"194\" where there actually should have been a \"594\" instead, and therefore it wasn't until ten minutes later that I noticed I was on the wrong bus. You can't imagine how negative my amount of amusement had become by that point.

When I got off the bus at some random station I discovered that, while I was obviously in the middle of nowhere and the next bus in the other direction wasn't to be expected soon, I at least knew where<\/i> I was. Walking back was out of the question, and what use would that have been anyway, now that none<\/i> of the buses were to be expected soon anymore, so in the end I did the only possible thing and started walking towards home. Why on earth couldn't this have been one of the warmer days? I had already been cold from waiting for all those trains and buses, and 45 minutes of walking didn't help matters in the slightest.

At almost precisely ten o'clock, and therefore at least<\/i> shortly before the end of said 130-minute gap, I arrived here and collapsed immediately. My back was hurting, my feet were hurting, the rest of me was trembling uncontrollably and I was so exhausted that I couldn't even feel happy about being home at last. After eating something, drinking something, chatting and recovering a bit and reading some more I went to bed, but I couldn't sleep because the pain was keeping me awake. I still don't know who that bloody stupid Prince is, but I really don't care at the moment and all I want to do is sleep! So I took two painkillers and I think it's just getting better right now.

Gah, now it's almost four. Did I mention the part where I tried to call someone but my phone kept insisting on telling me the same load of rubbish all over before every single try? Something about getting 5 \u20ac for free, but wtf. Once would have been enough!

Sorry for the length. I already did leave something out, oh yes. Gnnnrhgh. I'm going to bed."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:daah_ya:51616","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/51616.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=51616"}}],"title":"Eee!","published":"2005-07-16T13:26:45Z","updated":"2005-07-16T13:30:04Z","content":"Oh dear, I just actually squeaked at the mailman. Do you notice a pattern in my entries? Ahem. Anyway, the book is here! Finally I can take a shower because I don't have to wait for the doorbell to ring anymore! Huzzah! This is going to be the shortest shower of my life. *opens package* Wait, didn't I actually expect this to be the other version of the book? Oh my, I'm getting confused. But I almost stayed spoiler-free! *scurries away*

ETA: Now going to the hospital has become more likely again. Whatever. In any case don't expect me to be back soon!"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:daah_ya:51332","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/51332.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=51332"}}],"title":"Huh?","published":"2005-07-16T13:17:45Z","updated":"2005-07-16T13:17:45Z","content":"I think I just did something wrong, although I have no idea in what way. Oh well. Why doesn't the book arrive?

Hmm. I feel very much like Shoebox!Sirius right now: \"And this was ... bad?\"

Maybe there's the possibility that I won't have to go to the hospital at all. Do you get the feeling that I don't like my brother very much? Er, no. Actually I do like him. I just don't like hospitals."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:daah_ya:51141","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/51141.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=51141"}}],"title":"Aaaaaahh!!","published":"2005-07-16T09:40:39Z","updated":"2005-07-16T12:28:26Z","content":"Oh dear, I just actually screamed like ... a girl. Which is more or less what I am, I suppose, but usually I'm not the kind of girl who screams on every other occasion. But - what exactly does one do if one is currently the only person in the house and discovers a dead mouse<\/i> on the floor of the living room? You know, I'm not going to pick it up, I mean it's dead, it's DEAD, and yes, I really prefer living mice over dead mice! A living mouse wouldn't be lying in the middle of the room anyway! I'm wondering why<\/i> it is dead in the first place ... maybe the poison that my mother positioned in all corners of the house once is still working. Waaargh!! I don't want to have dead things lying around here, really I don't.

Okay. Alright. My mother practically ordered<\/i> me to come and visit them at the hospital today, so I guess I'll have to do it this time. I'm just going to tell her about the mouse and ... that won't make it go away either, but ... well. On the other hand I'm not so happy about that because the book is going to arrive today<\/i>. How am I supposed to stay calm in a hospital if an unread Harry Potter book is waiting for me? \"Hello, brother! Hi, mom! Here's the stuff you wanted to have, can I go now plzkthks?\" It's not here yet, which means I'll probably be forced to read it on the train. I'm going to be continually wondering how many other people are reading it on the same train, haha.

Phht. Dead mice. Honestly.

ETA: I just went and had a closer look at it. It makes me sad. Such a small thing ... I don't want it to be dead. I could smell it with my supernatural nose from where I was sitting, and it didn't even smell dead yet. It smelled like mouse."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:daah_ya:50838","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/50838.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=50838"}}],"title":"Eee!","published":"2005-07-15T21:13:36Z","updated":"2005-07-15T21:13:36Z","content":"For some reason I can't read my flist. I can't concentrate on anything. I just thought it was past midnight already, and it isn't. I can't wait for it to be tomorrow! Today I got my Amazon confirmation email thing, and who knows when the book is going to be here? In the morning? I'm not sure! And I'm all alone, I hope I don't have to open the door at half past 8 in the morning, but then again I do! Ooooh the excitement!

I'm talking about the 6th Harry Potter book of course, just in case you don't know."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:daah_ya:50617","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/50617.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=50617"}}],"title":"---","published":"2005-07-14T14:54:57Z","updated":"2005-07-14T16:35:56Z","content":"Agh. Aaarrgh. Not now, not now. NOT NOW! Nonononono, I can't believe this. I'm having panic attacks for no reason. Yesterday evening, and now. But I can't, not now, it's not ... I'm not ALLOWED to. Oh bloody hell. I shouldn't write in this state, really I shouldn't, last time was bad enough. It was a long time ago. But I can't do anything else either! There should be someone I could call in such a situation, really there should, someone who's always there and will listen to everything and know what to say. Never known such a person in my life, not really. Maybe they only exist in books. (Bet they're all Hufflepuffs.) Oh bloody hell indeed. Maybe it's already too late, maybe visitors aren't allowed at the hospital anymore when I get there, and I'm just sitting here being quite paralyzed except I'm typing from time to time while actually I should have taken a shower and all that already and I really should be on my way to the bus or something! I won't be able to get there before 6 pm anyway, which is bad, and all that just because ... I burnt my food! Not fair not fair not fair. I already know I'm not going to end up going there, oh dear. Breathe, breathe, breathe. I should NOT be writing. Posting this anyway because I'm not in my right mind. Oh bloody hell.

ETA OMG my siblings and their bloody father just came by and saved me by taking over my job. Woah I almost feel better now. Except I have a headache and feel generally horrible. Took two painkillers. Didn't work yet. Oh wtf. Memory feature please be available again right now."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:daah_ya:50397","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/50397.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=50397"}}],"title":"Weird. Weird weird weird.","published":"2005-07-14T11:16:08Z","updated":"2005-07-14T11:16:08Z","content":"Agh. Strange things are happening. My brother, yesterday screaming with pain, today in a hospital without his appendix; me, all alone for a few days again, only with guinea pigs for company this time which I have to take care of despite being allergic to them; my mother, calling me late in the evening and early in the morning, would you please come and bring us some clothes and shampoo although you don't have a car or anything, kthksbye.

WTF.

I have no idea how to get to that hospital, haha. Well, I'll just have to find out. There must be a bus station or something in the area. Oh dear how much fun aaaah I really don't want to go on a journey like that just because that stupid appendix decided that it has had enough of my brother! There goes my plan of spending a peaceful day at home in my room.

Uhm. Besides that, things are apparently back to normal: I spent an unhealthy amount of time in the sun and didn't get a sunburn. Right, that's how it's supposed to be. A few days ago my skin was kinda peeling off though, that was funny. Ehehe. (What? I'm not used to that sort of thing!)

Change of topic. I'm discovering loads of amazing fanfiction (Good Omens, mainly) and rereading the <\/a>shoebox_project<\/b><\/a><\/span>. Glee. Also tried to write something with <\/a>dollrock<\/b><\/a><\/span>, did not succeed because it was so HOT. So we read random parts of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead<\/u> aloud instead, because reading things aloud in her garden is just so much fun."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:daah_ya:49938","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/49938.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=49938"}}],"title":"Piccies!","published":"2005-07-11T12:41:29Z","updated":"2005-07-11T12:41:29Z","content":"Look, I have pictures for you. Weird, horrible, blurry pictures, but pictures nonetheless. I really didn't expect the camera to be great, but hey - pictures!

I tried to take a picture of my presents. Some of them. On my bed. It didn't quite work, but here's a first try:



And a slightly better one, only the left half is not on it. Well. Isn't the thing in the middle, which happens to be a lamp, by the way, incredibly cute?



Now this is my cool, blurry birthday cake - well, the one that we ate yesterday. Because on my actual birthday I wasn't at home. And there are two hands of two family members of mine.



This is my sister and a bottle of water. With a funny name. The sister's name is Elisa, and she's the youngest one.



And finally, me. Looking funny with the top of my head missing, oh well. But look at the GREEN. ;)

<\/a>"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:daah_ya:49874","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/49874.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=49874"}}],"title":"OMG IGNORE THIS","published":"2005-07-11T00:06:19Z","updated":"2005-07-11T00:06:19Z","content":"Why is it that in every new fandom that I enter, I discover all the people of my other<\/i> fandoms to be already there? Especially the ones of which there aren't even that many? It is creepy, very creepy.

Woah, I should go to bed. Yesterday was another one of those I-haven't-slept-but-feel-completely-normal days (and for the 327th time in my life I suspected I might be super-human after all), but then the bratwurst almost killed me and I felt miserable and had to lie down and got tired and went to bed before 10 pm, and exactly 12 hours later I got up again, and in order to get up around the same time tomorrow it is absolutely necessary for me to go to bed NOW.

By the gods*, there's STILL chocolate left from my birthday! This is unnatural! Unbelievable!! Usually all the sweets are gone within 24 hours! I wonder if this means that I've never got so many sweets before or if the heat is making me eat slowlier.

*I've been saying \"oh dear\" for all my life to avoid saying things like \"my God\" because that'd feel like lying, but then it became boring, and I tried to come up with something more creative, and have been quite desperate since then UNTIL I saw the exclamation \"by the gods\" in my favourite book by Steven Brust, and I was happy. AAH! Missed the point at which I had wanted to be in bed now ..."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:daah_ya:49464","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/49464.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=49464"}}],"title":"\"Er.\"","published":"2005-07-10T21:38:29Z","updated":"2005-07-10T21:38:29Z","content":"You know something's wrong when you're sitting around at home and think, \"I want to go home.\"

Sometimes I think of my room as \"home\". You know, on the way back from the bathroom or so. It's rather frightening. I spend way too much time in here. You'd think that the rest of the house is only where my mother and my siblings live.

I'm quite fond of the basement though. It's quiet down there, and the best thing about it is that you can't hear anyone calling your name - and even if I do, I don't have to reply because I know that they<\/i> wouldn't hear me<\/i>. Being in the basement is a good excuse for not doing things, too.

I don't want to hear my own name anymore, I've come to associate the sound of it with unpleasant things. Don't like it much, either. Rena is a nice name, if I ever get into a situation where I have to choose a name for myself, I'll take that one. It's the main character of a German book, actually ... I don't remember the title. Rena was quite the boring person, but I've always liked the name. It's also kind of international, easily pronouncable, unlike mine.

Whatever the hell am I talking about?"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:daah_ya:49333","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/49333.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=49333"}}],"title":"gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide","published":"2005-07-09T05:04:31Z","updated":"2005-07-09T05:04:31Z","content":"Eee, fangirling attack!! I'm currently halfway through Good Omens<\/u> (well, almost<\/i>), and I love it. So much. I spent the whole night reading because I just couldn't bring myself to stop! Now I finally<\/i> know who those Aziraphale and Crowley guys are who kept popping up in fanart on my DeviantArt watchlist. I love them!

Although, in case anybody knows what I'm talking about, of course one would expect me to prefer the evil, snakey demon, but for reasons unknown I like the angel better. Maybe that's because he has a bookshop. And seems to be stuck in the 1950s. I like people who love books! Strange thing is, one certain person recently accused me of abusing her books (I'm telling you, there was NO throwing involved).

Aaah. I'm tired. But what the hell. Off to continue reading now.

Why is there no \"gleeful\" mood? This is already the second<\/i> time that I would have used it!"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:daah_ya:49108","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/49108.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=49108"}}],"title":"Names","published":"2005-07-08T23:06:46Z","updated":"2005-07-08T23:06:46Z","content":"I'm thinking about getting a new journal. Oooh, scandalous. You know, I'm not one of these people who have 57 different nicknames all over the web, or those who already own 21 journals, 17 of them abandoned, and neither am I someone who thinks that names starting with \"___\" or \"xxx\" are cool. In my opinion, an \"x\" can be used for pairings (although I prefer slashes there), and underscores are quite useful in situations where no spaces are allowed. That's ALL. Which is why my first online alias ever was \"Daja Green\" and in my email addy it was \"Daja_Green\". See, makes sense.

I also don't like names that don't sound like names. I want my LJ username to sound like a name, too. And my email addy. And everything else. The only exception is my MSN nickname because I change that one at least once a week and I only use the messenger for talking to one single person anyway. My login name on the other hand, the hotmail thingie, does sound like a name after all.

Therefore this is kind of a tough decision for me. I do not only want a new journal, I want a whole new name. Which I am going to use everywhere then. I should totally have done this on my birthday, but I haven't found the perfect name yet!

When I recently watched the second Harry Potter movie again, I noticed that my name-finding methods are creepily similar to Voldemort's. OMGWTF. Well ... I've always liked anagrams. I have this strange, purposeless fake journal, <\/a>anajadenire<\/b><\/a><\/span>, and the process of making up that name involved a lot of anagraming, backwards-spelling and other funny stuff. It had a purpose once, but not anymore. I'm thinking about using that one.

I once made a list of names that I've used.<\/a> Haha."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:daah_ya:48805","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/48805.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=48805"}}],"title":"There you have it.","published":"2005-07-07T22:45:33Z","updated":"2005-07-07T22:45:33Z","content":"My birthday is over. I had wanted to go to bed before midnight, but somehow I didn't. That's because there's something I still have to do before<\/i> I go to bed, and so I'm procrastinating. ;)

It was an awesome day. Just ... absolutely great. And for some reason yesterday was great, too - in a way. Actually I talked about that Big and Ominous Problem with understanding people which I seem to have (Wednesday is therapy day), and now there are two more people who know about it. It was very relieving and somehow I once again realized how many of my less important problems seem to be caused by the main one.

Also, I finally started reading Phoenix<\/u>, which is incidentally the fifth book of the Dragaera series. *lol* Besides that, it's the only one of the books that I own but have not read, and so it's something new and exciting. Therefore I was already quite happy yesterday.

And now ... my birthday. Usually birthdays have always been about receiving gifts, having fun, seeing friends, making plans, all that stuff. Fun. But this is not fun, it is ... happiness in a much more important way. I didn't even know there was a difference.

(Also, my other half <\/a>dollrock<\/b><\/a><\/span> gave me Good Omens<\/u> by the almighty Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, which I had been wanting to buy for AGES. Weee, so cool!)

Oh, and we watched RAGAD again<\/i>. =D"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:daah_ya:48512","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/48512.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=48512"}}],"title":"OMG I AM OLD. o_O","published":"2005-07-07T06:46:55Z","updated":"2005-07-07T06:48:13Z","content":"Weee, IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!

I am happy and I have presents and I have money and I have chocolate and I am 19 and everything is GREEN. Honestly, almost all of the presents from my mother are green! LOL.

And I think I have a cold.

Er, well. In any case, SO COOL! On each and every birthday we get a bag or a package from my evil stepfather and his mother, containing sweets + money + one or two presents + a little less money and a smaller amount of sweets for each of the siblings whose birthday it isn't. Of course I had to give a part of my chocolate to my siblings, too, because there were nuts in it. Oh well. What I am trying to say here is that the presents they give us are usually just giveaways (he gets lots of them), but this time it's a really cool giveaway after all! I HAVE A DIGITAL CAMERA NOW!! I'm not expecting the quality to be good, mind you. But it's a camera!

Unfortunately I don't have the right battery for it, otherwise I'd be taking pictures of my presents already. Well, tomorrow! See you later then ..."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:daah_ya:48240","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/48240.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=48240"}}],"title":"Bah.","published":"2005-07-06T02:05:23Z","updated":"2005-07-06T02:05:23Z","content":"Eww. I feel weird. It's four in the morning and I just got out of my bed again because I totally can't sleep. And I mean that, it's not a simple \"agh, falling asleep is quite difficult today\", or some kind of \"uhm, not tired yet?\", or even a \"I forgot something and as soon as I remember it I'll surely be able to sleep!!\", no, this is a complete \"I can't<\/i> sleep and that is a fact.\"

Damnit.

I think it might be the new moon's fault. Honestly. I was born on a new moon, and tomorrow's my birthday, and perhaps I also can't sleep because I fear that I won't be able to sleep, er ... \"tonight\", I mean, during the next<\/i> night, and therefore won't wake up to see my presents before my mother leaves the house!

Whatever. Here I am."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:daah_ya:47916","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/47916.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/daah-ya.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=47916"}}],"title":"It's raining!","published":"2005-07-05T20:16:05Z","updated":"2005-07-05T20:17:58Z","content":"Ugh. My hands are dirty, dirty, dirty. Also, apparently I've come to enjoy pain, or maybe I'm just remarkably stupid. Note to self: Never again spend an hour or so picking up the branches that your mother is cutting of your fir trees<\/i>. With your bare hands<\/i>. Honestly.

Of course I had to torture myself even more by trying to split a branch in two pieces the funny way, and now my thumb is numb. (Haha that rhymes haha.) Then proceeded to go inside and put two of my fingers into some really hot water. No, you don't want to know how that happened.

Youch. It was fun."}]}