Ah... So much has transpired lately that I haven't had the time or inclination to write. I feel disinclined to attempt to analyze everything that's happening to and around me; I feel as though the temptation would only leave me to over-think things and tie myself into mental knots.

I am happy, that's enough.

Perhaps I am... No. Anything more than happiness is just hormones. I hold on to that belief as to not get myself into any more trouble than I likely am already in.

There hasn't been a lot of time to write or think or do much of anything outside of a few key priorities. Mostly, I've been letting situations draw out impressions of themselves in my mind; I have no concrete thoughts, just mental abstract watercolor paintings of events and moments and people.

I have been happy long enough now that I don't question it anymore, and I don't believe this makes me soft or weak. Other than surviving this week-- ahahah, I don't think that will actually be a problem!-- my only major concern is getting through this semester.

I feel I lost control, and perhaps the loss was subtle enough that I didn't even feel it slipping through my fingers when it went.

More worryingly, I wonder if perhaps I did notice it and didn't care at the time; that was something I was willing to sacrifice to gain...

...what?

Hm. These matters require some attention.

Seems I have a natural talent for getting myself into trouble.

I've found myself in a rather unusual state of mind as of late-- that is, happy.

Things are going significantly better than anticipated, though I question my own understanding of the situations in which I find myself.

The stars seems brighter than usual this evening.


Chinese delivery for dinner. Coffee after. Books to read and a warm, happy kitty curled against my side.




And to all a good night.

Things are rapidly becoming more complicated than I'd really like. I'd rather not think about it anymore.



Instead, here's a picture of a kitty.