Necromantic Nightmares Part IV: Body Snatchers, Ghouljamming, Rotted Roots

Last time: A Third Corpse-Wagon Full of Necromantic Novelties: Railroads, Sharks, and Skeleton-Style Severance

Faction: Grave Robbers and Body Snatchers

Grave robbing and body snatching was a big thing in real history and real history didn’t even have necromancy. It should be orders of magnitude more popular in a magical fantasy world. There’s a lot to work with when looking at historical examples. Evocative slang (“resurrectionists”). Science and progress versus respect for religion and tradition. Educated elites versus the working class. Racism, if you’re playing in a game that wants to unpack heavy issues.

This subject is a good hook for all kinds of adventures, whether the PCs are working as grave robbers, being paid to stop them, or just tossed back and forth by the ceaseless whims of the funereal world. Consider just a few.

Random table: What are the competing interests creating conflict in and around the world of the grave robbers?

1. The thieves’ guild is hiring skilled rogues to crack mortsafes. Adventurers could work for them, or help the city watch catch these criminals.
2. The vengeful ghost of a prominent politician has sworn to destroy the town if body snatchers take the remains of any member of its family. A volunteer watch group is forming to guard against this eventuality. The complication is that no one is completely certain how many illegitimate children this politician had, and whether or not the ghost would count any such deceased persons as family. Better figure out who they are, and protect their graves to be sure.
3. The ghast who rules over the local cemetery is spreading rumors that great wealth is buried with various recently buried bodies, hoping to let the grave robbers do the hard work of digging, then grab the bodies (of both the dead and the foolish robbers) for itself.
4. A serial killer (perhaps a deceptive monster like a wererat, perhaps just a normal human) is using already-robbed graves as a place to hide his victims. The local resurrectionists are understandably concerned this will lead to a mob blaming them and seeking them out. One group of criminals is thus incentivized to stop the actions of another, even more grim criminal.
5. A marriage between two ghosts has created a complication in the execution of the will of the local potentate. With the help of a wisecracking skull that can cast Speak With Dead at will, adventurers must untangle the legal intricacies of these conflicting life-or-death bonds. 
6. Thieves are following body snatchers and plundering the graves of valuables after the bodies are removed (the body snatchers scrupulously do not take any valuable items from a grave, besides the body itself). The two factions are on the brink of a gang war, each accusing the other of immoral acts.

Location: The Hunger Ship

Before the spelljamming ark departed on its extraplanar journey, the shipwright-priests blessed it, entreating the stellar gods to ensure that no one would ever go hungry aboard the vessel. The blessing worked, but in a perverse way. When the ship strayed from its course and supplies ran out, the passengers found that they would not die of starvation. But their hunger was as strong as ever, and that hunger drove them to survive as ghouls. The ark continues to drift between the stars, full of ghouls fighting amongst themselves and waiting for unwary travelers to stumble on their ship.

Random table: Grim and ghoulish scenes from the cursed corridors of the Hunger Ship.

1. Ghoul-priests have welded iron cages over the mouths of fanatical flagellant ghouls. Prevented from feeding, these monsters are kept in a constant state of frenzy. (visual reference: the garrador from Resident Evil 4)
2. Gunnery ghouls lovingly tend to massive spiked hooks on long cables, ready to fire at passing ships to haul in a fresh meal. (visual reference: the reavers from Firefly)
3. Even as the hooks pull the targeted vessel toward the Hunger Ship, ghoul boarders will clamber up the chains, vying to be the first to taste new flesh. (visual reference: a hectic boarding scene from any pirate or naval movie) 
4. A dining hall filled with exotic "food" that is the refinement of hundreds of years of cannibalistic closed-loop "recycling." Ghoul aesthetes will (temporarily...) hold off on devouring anyone who can give them thoughtful critical input on their quality of the offerings; the ghouls are concerned they have been removed from the culinary world too long and may be out of step with current trends. (visual reference: some combination of the dining room from Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the forbidden food from Pan’s Labyrinth, and the bar in From Dusk Til Dawn)
5. The ghoul chirurgeon is relatively diplomatic by ghoul standards, offering to trade a prosthetic replacement for a PC’s tastiest-looking limb. The prosthetics are genuine, not a trick, and each one can do something that a normal limb cannot. (visual reference: Bruce Campbell in Escape from LA or Dr. Steinman in BioShock)
6. The ghoul ascetic abstains from eating living things, consuming only dead matter. They seek to lead the ghouls on the ships to a graveyard planet where they could feast on ethically sourced bones for eternity. A bit of a bore compared to the other ghouls, but basically a good fellow. (visual reference: peaceful Dreamland ghouls in Lovecraftian works)

Monster: Rootrot Treant 

Blood drips from a crude mouth of cracks and splinters. Corrupted by necromancy, this once-mighty  forest guardian now spreads decay. Deceptively slow-moving, when he scents living things he can flip over and walk on hundreds of surprisingly sturdy branches, like a wooden spider with far too many limbs, slamming his body down on his prey.

Necromancers in conflict with vampires for control of the local undead will sometimes use Rootrot Treants as guardians. Bristling with wooden “stakes,” few vampires will engage them in direct combat.

Modern statblock:

Rootrot Treant (huge undead plant) AC 16 (natural armor) HP138 Speed 30’ or 60’ (charge ending in a slam attack that leaves it prone)

RES Poison damage

IMM Poisoned, exhausted

Challenge 9 XP 5000

False Appearance (indistinguishable from dead tree when motionless, mainly works in fall/winter) 

Siege Monster (double damage to objects and structures)

Actions: Bite or Slam

Bite (melee): +10 / 3d6+6 piercing damage

Slam (melee) +10 / 4d10+6 bludgeoning damage and the Rootrot Treant falls prone and cannot move further that turn. Save STR DC 16 or restrained under the treant's bulk; ATH DC 16 to escape.

1/day when the Rootrot Treant rises from prone to standing, as a bonus action, it may spawn a field of rotted thorny vines harming all living things in the affected area (as Spirit Guardians, necrotic damage) 

Old-school statblock: 

Rootrot Treant AC 17 HD 8 HP 36 Att +7 bite (4d6) ML 12 MV normal or x2 normal, then if bite hits, treant falls on top of target and pins to the ground. Surprise on 1-3 at short range in environments with ample dead trees.

A Third Corpse-Wagon Full of Necromantic Novelties: Railroads, Sharks, and Skeleton-Style Severance

Last time: More Necromantic Novelties: Anathema, Bacteria, Dinobomb

Location: Necropolis Railway

Managing the dead is challenging enough when they stay dead. Managing them in a world of undeath is  more complicated by a whole order of magnitude.

The threat of the undead changes how societies handle corpses and remains. But for significantly large urban areas, the first order of business is to get the dead away from the living. Facilitating that process requires serious infrastructure, including a way to get the bodies from where they die to where they will be laid to rest. Depending on the setting, the railway can be a literal railroad, or a more low-tech equivalent (e.g., river barges pulled by beasts of burden on the shoreline).

What dangerous situations might adventurers find on the necropolis line or at its terminus?

1. Overrun cadaver carriage. Zombie unlife has spread amongst the corpses on one of the carriages, and now all the bodies within are trying to get out.
2. Plague rat outbreak. Rats attracted to the cemetery are carrying a virulent new disease. Rumors suggest it is causing the infected dead to walk from their graves, but this may be misinformation.
3. Charnel snuffer. A ghost snagged in the cremation chimney has inhaled enough necromantic energy to move about the crematoriums, blowing out the fires and slowing this crucial work.
4. Missing VIP. Some corpses are preserved, typically because the railway masters anticipate that they may someday be the subjects of magic like Speak With Dead or (in rare cases) Resurrection. One such cadaver is missing, and a frantic search is underway to locate it before it is accidentally destroyed.
5. Religious dispute. The burial grounds around the railway terminus were carefully laid out to keep the faithful of different sects from crossing paths, but a recent schism in the church has led to clashes and disputes over choice burial sites. An opportunistic wight hopes to amplify the violence and turn members of both sides to undeath amid the confusion. 
6. Expired Express. Unsubstantiated reports suggest that necromancers and grave robbers are disguising themselves as ordinary mourners to get through cemetery security. Board the train and investigate suspicious characters, without angering the legitimately grief-stricken travelers.

Monster: Mummy Shark

Undead sharks preserved in formaldehyde and covered in seaweed wrappings. The rot from their bite has a particularly fearsome reputation among sailors, as the pus that emerges from the wound allegedly warps and weakens the wooden parts of sailing ships. Creatures that die within a mummy shark’s stomach emerge as zombies at the next low tide. This blog cannot be held liable if your players begin to sing an obnoxious song after they hear you say the words “mummy shark.”

Modern statblock:

Mummy Shark (large undead beast) AC 13 (natural armor) HP 126 Speed 30’ (swim) or 10’ (a flopping and thrashing crawl on land) 

Challenge 6 XP 2300 

Actions: Bite + Dreadful Glare. 

Bite (melee): +9 / 3d10+6 damage, save CON DC 14 or contract mummy shark rot; can only recover HP while fully immersed in salt water, and ships on which the infected character travel suffer wear and tear at x3 normal rate.

Dreadful Glare: Save WIS DC 13 or frightened until end of mummy shark’s next turn; fail by 5 or more, paralyzed also.

Old-school statblock: 

Mummy Shark AC 13 HD 8 HP 36 Att +7 bite (2d10 + mummy shark rot (can only recover HP while fully immersed in salt water, and ships on which the infected character travel suffer wear and tear at x3 normal rate) ML 12 MV x2 normal swimming, half normal on land. Silent until it attacks, only harmed by magic or electricity, save WIS/PARA on first sight or paralyzed with fear until it attacks or moves out of sight.

Milieu: Skeletal Severance  

Necromancy is legal, but highly regulated. Anyone with healthy bones can sell the rights to the use of their skeleton for a set number of years after their death. 

The clergy condemn this practice, and many right-thinking people are at least… squeamish about such a transaction. But many who are struggling to make ends meet will decide that security in life is worth some indignity in death.

Adventure hook: When a painter with a record-setting skeletal service contract goes missing, the Necromantic Guild has a strong incentive to verify if they’re alive or dead. They will pay well for proof of death, and more for the recovery of the skeleton. But be wary; the church may interfere with your efforts, in the hopes that an unresolved claim will destabilize the skeleton trade. 

More Necromantic Nonsense: The Profane Dead, the Bacterial Ghost, and the Dinobomb

Last time: New Necromantic Monsters and Factions for Weirder Worldbuilding 

Milieu: The Profanity of the Undead

Inherent to the idea of undeath as traditionally understood in most folklore and derived fiction is a wrongness and a fundamental reversal of what that person (or their society) viewed as natural and holy in life. Undead should not be kinda vaguely, ambiently unholy – they should specifically reject, pollute, or invert the values of their pre-undeath society.

Random table: In what way are these undead profaning what was most holy to them in life?

1. Ghoul-minotaurs, mouths dripping with beef tallow, worship at a profane altar to Our Lady of the Abattoir. 
2. Deadwood-dryads and treant snags knock down healthy trees and suck the life out of green shoots.
3. Revived rust monsters galvanize metals instead of rusting them. Highly prized by dwarven metalworkers who are heretical enough to deal with necromancers. 
4. Skeleton-fish, repelled by bodies of water, hurl themselves against the doors and windows of the fishermen who caught them, silently begging for their killers to consume flesh they no longer possess.  
5. Shadow-beholders emit blinding shafts of darkness, haunting living eye tyrants and threatening to deprive them of their most precious sense.
6. Poltergeist-gargoyles enraged by the physicality the spirit can no longer embody, possess statues across the city, toppling them onto unsuspecting passerby.

Monster: Bacterial Ghosts 

Non-sapient animals generally do not project sufficient soul-stuff to create ghosts. But there are exceptions. For example, when particularly large numbers of microscopic organisms die suddenly, their collective extermination can produce a ghost large enough for people to perceive.

This ghost is amoeba-like, with its “mouth” forming on any of its appendages. It is sometimes mistaken for an ooze. It cannot communicate or even really think in a way that people understand, but can be frighteningly motivated, as undeath seems to give it a collective direction that its constituent organisms lacked in their single-celled lives.

Random table: What is the bacterial ghost doing right now?

1. Lurking in a pond, consuming algae until they can build a Swamp Thing-like body.
2. Plotting revenge, hoping to destroy the bleach factory responsible for their innumerable deaths.
3. Unliving symbiotically on a ghost sloth.
4. Possessing the micromancer who foolishly bestowed awareness on their colony.
5. Researching spells with names like “pierce membrane” and “corrupt mitochondria.”
6. Haunting the innards of the cow where they once dwelt while still alive.

Treasure: Necromantic Clothing and Equipment

Much of the ordinary clothing and gear that people use in their daily lives is obviously derived from living things. Usually such items are too far removed from life to be affected by necromancy. Usually.

A particularly diligent necromancer, taking the time to study the processes behind the creation of clothing, tools, and armor, can add a spark of unlife to such items.

Random table: What necromantic equipment is available for those with the stomach to use it?

1. Compass armor. Leather armor that retains the ability of the cattle to sense the planet’s magnetic field. The wearer instinctively aligns north-south when standing around idly for a turn or longer.
2. Silk-shroud robes. Fine silk robes with hidden pockets containing zombie silkworms. The silkworms will spin silk to repair any damage to the robes. With patience, the silkworms can be goaded to reshape the garment; for example, refashioning the robe into strong silk-rope to escape a tower.
3. Snakeskin belt. When unbuckled, the "clasp" is capable of biting to deliver deadly poison once per day. Wearing tough gloves or carrying antivenom is strongly recommended as it is easy to forget and receive a nasty bite while undressing at the end of a long adventuring day. Stylish.
4. Naptha bomb. Rock-oil from a natural seep. Looks a lot like alchemists' fire. When thrown like a grenade, the necromantic reagent reanimates whatever ancient animals decomposed into the oil. Unpredictable due to the unknown (and probably cross-contaminated) mix of biological matter that made up the oil, but the best-case scenario can produce a terrifying amalgamation of undead dinosaurs.

Next time: Yet More Necromantic Novelties: Necropolis, Shark, Severance

New Necromantic Monsters and Factions for Weirder Worldbuilding (Part 1 in an Undying Series)

Necromancy is part of the vanilla fantasy vernacular that informs many RPGs. You can't have your skeleton warriors and life-draining ghosts without some fiction explaining how these spirits are spooking the PCs. Some fiction really digs deep into what a setting defined by necromancy would look like. But many fantasy RPGs only scratch the surface. Let's grab our corpse-exhumation shovels and dig a little deeper.

Monster: The Griefer

Adventurers call it the griefer. It’s a dungeon ghost that can only possess a freshly-killed body. Immaterial and barely visible, the griefer will follow adventurers or dungeon factions around the dungeon, waiting for conflict to produce a suitable corpse to possess.

The longer the griefer lingers without finding a body, the more disruptive it becomes, leveraging what weak spiritual id it possess to generate alarming noises or frightening images, hoping to startle dungeon dwellers into deadly conflict.

Adventure hook: A griefer is piloting the body of an heir to a minor noble family. The sibling who is second in the line of succession badly wants the body returned, so they can prove that the heir is dead. The reward depends on retrieving the body in reasonably good condition. The griefer is very motivated to avoid capture... but its possession of the body is also staving off decomposition.

Milieu: Necroarchy

With age comes wisdom, and mere death does not change that equation. Indeed, serving as a living member of the city council is almost like an audition for service after death in a city where broad acceptance of necromancy makes this possible. The enormous round council table features seats for the living members, while the undead members’ skulls sit on ornate stands at their stations. 

Adventure hook: The council requires a quorum to make important decisions, but several of the council skulls have been stolen. The government is paralyzed by this bizarre and unprecedented theft. The living council members suspect each other of the crime. Or perhaps it is a rival city-state, seeking to undermine the dead city's power. What no one yet knows is that the thief is actually the former lover of one of the deceased members, who they seek to resurrect. They stole the other skulls only to draw suspicion away from them.

Faction: The Great Skeleton Army

Animated skeletons persist. Bleached and fleshless, they do not rot like zombies. Indifferent to the sun, they do not need to flee the light, as vampires and shadows do. Easy to create en masse, they can be raised even by a necromancer of relatively modest power. And they often persist long after their creator has died (and likely joined their ranks). The great skeleton army is one such example, inspired by great examples like this one.

No one remembers why the great skeleton army was created, or who they were originally intended to fight. It obeys no clear leader, although some skeletons mimic the roles of officers. 

Random table: Encounters amidst and near the Great Skeleton Army

1. Skull-scout. Catapulted ahead or dropped from the sky by skeletal birds, these disembodied skulls scout for activity and then report their findings after the army recovers them. Endowed with more intelligence than a typical skeleton, they are usually bored, and eager to chat with passersby.
2. Grave sapper. Skeletons that spent ages buried underneath the earth are particularly adept at digging. Travelers are in for a harrowing experience if they meet the sappers by stepping on a weak patch of ground falling into an active tomb-tunnel.  
3. Parallel travelers. Like small fish swimming alongside a shark because the big predator scares off smaller predators, some living people will travel in the wake of the skeleton army to protect themselves from living threats they feel are more dangerous.
4. Impressment gangboss. Gathering skeletons to swell the skelly ranks. They are supposed to find “naturally occurring” skeletons, but are not above sourcing them from the living when needed. "I swear these skeletons just fell off the back of a wagon, boss."
5. Skelevangalist. Seeks to free bony brethren from their meat-prisons. Will shush living creatures who attempt to speak to it, claiming it is listening to their “bones' voices.”
6. Camp followers. Not that kind! No boner jokes, please. Opportunistic humans will trade goods and services that skeleton soldiers can't manage themselves. 
7. Bone collector. Skeletal ragman who collects stray bones from the battlefields, offering its wares to skeletons that have lost pieces to time or turmoil. Humble and easy to miss, but secretly essential to the army’s (literal) cohesion.
8. Desiccated deserter. Fleeing the military life and eager to find a place among the fleshy world.

Next time: More Necromantic Nonsense: The Profane Dead, the Bacterial Ghost, and the Dinobomb

An Even Closer Look at the Medusa: Seven More Variant Gorgons

Several years ago I wrote a post with variant versions of the classic gorgon. As noted in that post, we’re talking gorgons as in "people who have serpentine features and can turn things to stone by looking at them," not gorgons as in "big metal bulls that fart petrifying gas." 

Calling gorgons “medusas” is like if aliens made first contact with a human named Glen, then insisted on calling all other humans “glens.”

Although... now the idea of aliens who call humans "glens" is growing on me.

Anyway, gorgon variants. Here we go.

The Deep Time Enthusiast

Medusa was not a vain fool. She was not jealous of her immortal sisters because they would be forever young and beautiful. She was jealous of them because they would live long enough to see the world transformed in ways that even the gods couldn’t predict. Medusa was a deep time enthusiast, and immortality was a path to seeing the future.

Immortality allowed Medusa to study changes in the world, from the rise and fall of kingdoms to the evolution of species to the geologic development of the world itself. The petrifying gaze, nominally a “curse” associated with the condition, also proved useful in her studies. Petrifying a living thing ensured a level of preservation that archeologists can only dream of. 

Building wealth is trivially easy for the immortal, who can rely on compounding passive gains over long periods. Medusa invested her wealth broadly, and used the proceeds to build the world’s greatest museum and biological storehouse. Because petrification can be (relatively) easily reversed, it is an ideal way of preserving organic life.

Random table: What long-gone creatures has Medusa stored in stone in her archive of deep time?

1. Ravenous meglopedes. Nearly wiped out by humans because of their ruinous consumption of crops. A petrified weapon of mass destruction that fits in your hand.
2. Party of neanderthal adventurers. Recognizably a fighter, wizard, cleric, and thief, but with exaggerated caveman aesthetics. 
3. Polonium elemental. Inert in stone form, but highly radioactive if de-petrified. 
4. Corewurm. Massive interstellar wurm that seeks volcanically active planets, burrows to their core, and consumes them, destroying the planet in the process. Sticky note reading “do NOT reanimate” attached to its stone snout.
5. Genesis Seed. A single seed, turned to stone. If revitalized and planted, it will produce a rampant explosion of new life, evolving at a greatly intensified speed; and likely displacing existing life.
6. Doppleooze. Protoplasmic ooze that takes on the form of what it touches. Petrified before its kind drove themselves to extinction via excessively successful doppling. If de-stoned, will turn into the first living thing it can touch.

Credit to Epochrypha by Skerples for inspiration.

The Graft Surgeon

There are various options available to adventurers who have lost limbs, ranging from simple prosthetics up through the powerful Regenerate spell. Somewhere in between those extremes is the exotic procedure known as petrigrafting.

The gorgon known as the graft surgeon practices a craft somewhere between doctor and sculptor (the distinction is… not fixed among gorgonkind). After carefully examining a patient who has lost a limb and taking various measurements, they will search through their storehouse of statuary, looking for a limb that is as close as possible to the missing one. They’ll then petrify the (willing) patient.

The next step is most critical. They must carefully chisel both the patient’s stump and the donor limb so they fit together as exactly as possible. The stump and then limb must then be bonded with adhesive made entirely from organic components. The closer the ingredients are to human physiology, the better.

Finally, the surgeon applies restorative magic to reverse the petrification. As with any graft, there is no guarantee that the body will accept the new addition. Sometimes, the graft fails, and the surgeon will need to re-petrfiy and remove the failed graft. 

But in many cases, the process is a success, and the patient walks out of the operating theater with a newly functional limb. The arm is always conspicuously different; the surgeon cares little for aesthetics, and skin color, musculature, and even biological origin may vary.

The surgeon is always seeking donations for their statuary collection. A common way of defraying the surgeon's bill is for a patient to agree to donate their body after death, so that their limbs may one day be donated to others. For patients fortunate enough to die of natural causes, the graft surgeon is often the last to visit them at their bedside, to call in that debt from years before. 

Random table: What ingredient does the surgeon need you to find in order to create a stone-to-flesh graft adhesive?

1. Basilisk tears.
2. The heart of a galeb-duhr.
3. Saliva from a mimic that has feasted on human flesh.
4. A branch from a tree in a petrified forest. 
5. A flagstone from the hall of the king of Urgos, located deep within the elemental plane of earth.
6. A fang from the snake-hair of a gorgon (no, the surgeon is not interested in donating one of his).

The Stonework Stablemaster

Nomenclature mixups aside, gorgons (the petrifying people) are sometimes found in the company of “gorgons” (the metal bulls). The bull-like creature that many humans call a “gorgon” is actually a close cousin of the catoblepas; a more correct taxonomic name would be petroblepas. Both the former’s stench and the latter’s petrifying gas comes from their specialized stomachs; like cows, they are ruminants.

In isolated areas, gorgons are known to raise basilisks and petroblepases. While gorgons are not immune to their petrifaction, they do understand its dangers better than most creatures, and have some inherent resistance to it. 

Gorgon stablemasters can provide a stable supply of food in the form of petrified stone, which allows them to domesticate both of these petrified flesh-eating creatures. Basilisks are useful because gorgons know how to use the oil from their digestive system to create the alchemical combination that cures petrification, which is very helpful for any gorgon that wishes to maintain peaceful relations with their neighbors.

Random table: What useful things are available for sale or trade at the gorgon’s farm?

1. Cockatrice egg-grenade. Reproduces the effect of the cockatrice’s bite, in grenade form. Fragile.
2. Cockatrice-feather cloak. AC as scale, at half the weight. Stylish. 
3. Basilisk oil. A single vial can restore one petrified creature.
4. Basilisk kidney. Filters out trace rare metals in stone that the basilisk can’t digest. Highly sought after by alchemists.
5. Basilisk cornea. Expertly removed intact and preserved in oil. Can be placed over the wearer’s eye like a contact lens. Allows a one-time use of the basilisk's petrification gaze.
6. Petroblepas oil. The oil that naturally lubricates their armored plating. Functions as oil of slipperiness. Can also be used to restore even seriously rusted metal.
7. Petroblepas haggis. Pudding made from the organs. Eating it causes petrification, but only gradually over a period of about 48 hours, as most creatures can only digest it very slowly.
8. Petroblepas armor. AC as full plate, but half again heavier. Advantage on saves versus petrification.

The Surveillance Assassin

The idea of meeting a gorgon’s gaze is terrifying, but most people can take comfort in the knowledge that gorgons usually dwell in remote ruins and dungeons. Surely, here in the world’s greatest city, there is no reason to fear that a gorgon's glance could turn one into stone.

Don’t be so sure. With the proper application of spells like Scrying and Project Image, a gorgon with magical powers can instantiate its petrifying visage far from its own lair. This method of remote petrification is particularly useful for targeting wizards, as their crystal balls and scrying pools can be magically hacked by the gorgon. 

Adventure hook: Just one more thing… The PCs are investigating the mysterious fate of an aristocratic leader who was turned to stone. No one is fessing up to hiring the gorgon who conducted the remote-stoning, but someone certainly bought up all the basilisk oil in the region over the past few years to prevent an easy cure. If the PCs can figure out who, they will have a strong lead on the responsible party. 

The Mirror-Maze Prisoner

Gorgons are famously vulnerable to their own gaze. Many gorgons end their immortal lives amidst their own statue gardens, after letting their guard down for just a moment. And for some, the double-edged danger of that gaze becomes a prison.

King Calviano's pursuit of immortality may have driven him half-mad, but he found it. The forbidden magics that transformed him into a gorgon ensured he would live forever. Queen Calviano recognized the danger he presented to the people of the land, but could not bring herself to kill him. Instead, she trapped him in a prison of unbreakable mirrors.

The maze is not so difficult to navigate for someone with normal vision. Ordinary techniques for escaping a mirrored carnival funhouse will work, including looking at the ceiling and floor, or finding smudges and marks that give away the glass. 

The maze is more difficult for someone who cannot risk looking at their reflection. The glass is unusually tough so that the king cannot easily break it. And the maze includes loops and gaps that make it difficult to navigate by touch alone. Doors include strange handles and locks that are relatively easy to open when looking at them, but impossible to manage blind. While the king has tried to escape by blindly wandering the halls, the maze’s construction has been enough to keep him trapped at the heart of the maze. 

Adventure hook: Not a place of honor. That all happened over a thousand years ago, and despite the queen’s best efforts to ward intruders away from the mirror maze, people have forgotten the place’s purpose. Adventurers have recently begun to enter it in search of treasure. The king stirs, sensing an opportunity to escape and return to the outside world.

Stone-Cold Counsel 

It’s a quandary that many mortal rulers face. They’ve accomplished great things in their life. But time comes for everyone, and the leader of a hereditary monarchy must ask: can the next generation be relied on to rule effectively? Well, maybe. If only there was a better way.

There is! In stately palanquin, surrounded by lead-lined screens, the gorgon Gravieska travels from court to court, offering aged rulers a tempting bargain; meet her gaze and become a statue. Their heir will receive a dose of petrification-reversing basilisk oil as part of the deal. The statue and oil are passed down from generation to generation. At times of great danger or opportunity, when the wise ancestor's counsel would be most valuable, the current ruler can de-petrify them to seek their aid.

Adventure hook: Succession crisis. The emperor, diagnosed with an incurable disease, was thought to only have a few weeks of life left to them. They underwent the petrification process so that they could save those precious weeks to provide advice to future generations. Several decades later, a cure has been found for the disease. The new emperor’s reign has been controversial, reversing many of the previous emperor’s signature accomplishments. Amidst the old guard in the imperial court, there is more and more talk of bringing back the old emperor; not to provide counsel to the current emperor, but to overthrow their own heir and rule once again.

The Mother of Flesh and Stone

In the beginning, the world was nothing but a writhing mass of organic matter. 

Life, microscopic and thoughtless, was caught in a constant cycle of mad consumption and thoughtless reproduction. This went on for a really long time. 

Into this primordial chaos came the first gorgon. Was it an alien? A monster? A god? There was no observer there to make such distinctions. But it was able to transform the other denizens of this world into non-organic material. For the first time, there was stone. The core of a world. 

Gorgons gradually transformed more and more life into stone, and that stone provided a stable core for the life of this world. For the first time, living things were not in constant contact with other living things. There was room for water to settle, habitats to form, and creatures to specialize. 

Random table: What weird creatures flourished in this gorgon-influenced world? 

1. Giant shipworms. Kinda like nautical purple worms. Harbormasters will lay stone pilings well outside the harbor, laced with tasty minerals, to keep these creatures away from the piers.
2. Mage-bane lichen. Lichen colonies that specifically grow on sapient creatures that have been petrified. Acidically eroding this particular type of stone seems to supercharge their growth. The lichen is a serious threat to any gorgons (like the Deep Time Enthusiast) who use petrification to preserve samples of living things. 
3. Piddock-folk. These molluskular creatures bore into soft rock in search of locations to form new colonies. They appear to be intelligent, but are incapable of verbal communication, or just very rude (scholars disagree).
4. Dire parrotfish. Particularly common around colonies of coral gorgons. As they scrape statues, they can sometimes ingest intelligence or magic from petrified persons. 

The World's Largest Rewrite: Grey Horse, Devil Swine, and Normal Humans

Last time: The World's Largest Rewrite: Floating Heads, Mother Fungus, Cellipedes

#60: Horse. OK, yes, I jumped into this exercise without really thinking about how to handle the various mundane “monsters” in the OSE bestiary. I don’t want to overlap with mules and camels, so I’m going to dive deeper into the Monster Overhaul, my manual of choice, to populate this one.

The book includes an entry for a “grey horse,” a strange constructed thing in the shape of a horse that challenges travelers to make clever rhymes, eating their rations as punishment if they fail. The grey horse seems too benign to be a prisoner, and too capricious to be one of the jailers. I’ll treat it as an invasive species, but without explaining how it got here (the grey horse just shows up in places where it is not wanted).

#84: Normal Human. Ah yes, the most dangerous monster of all; the Normal Human. OSE defines them as “Non-adventuring humans without a character class. Artists, beggars, children, craftspeople, farmers, fishermen, housewives, scholars, slaves.” But they are also implicitly not bandits, or pirates, or nobles, or any of the other “monster” types in the OSE bestiary that are obviously humans, but have their own entry. Essentially this is what the modern game would call a commoner.

I think we have some Normal Humans here who are guilty of Abnormal Crimes. They’re probably not individually dangerous to adventurers; even the typical serial killer is more of an opportunistic-but-ordinary person, rather than someone with high levels as an assassin or something. These Normal Humans are like the prisoners in Con Air or the mooks in the Batman Arkham games. They are weak, but numerous. And they likely have some powerful leaders among them as prison bosses; maybe NPCs with classes, maybe actual monsters.

#106: Shark. Shark!! The shark brings us back to the submerged section of our dungeon. We want to distinguish a bit from the other monsters that have flooded (literally and figuratively) into the prison. Picking randomly among OSE’s three sharks, we get the bull shark, which can ram and stun prey for three rounds. This is a nice twist that you don’t really see from beasts in modern D&D. I like the idea of the bull sharks ramming prey as they pass through a transitory space like a submerged hallway. The hallways are navigable for the sharks but too narrow for the sea serpent, who is the alpha predator in the seawater sector. Stunned swimmers sink deeper into the depths, so attempting to rescue them presents further risk for their allies. The crabs clean up what the bull sharks don't eat, at the bottom of the halls, amongst the bones of failed prison escapees.

#70: Lycanthrope. I usually choose a subtype randomly, but in this case I am going to simply pick the devil swine, because (a. they’re much more evocative than the other, more standard lycanthropes, and (b. they’re evil, so they’re the easiest to explain as prisoners of celestials. OSE describes them as follows: “Corpulent humans who can change into huge swine. Love to eat human flesh. Lurk in isolated human settlements close to forests or marshes.”

A devil swine has 9 HD (!) and a charm ability. So these guys are not minor brutes, but instead dangerous bosses, and with their charm ability, probably a powerful faction in their own right. I imagine they’ve been strategically charming other prisoners to take over the prison and eventually try to escape. Relative to some of the other very archetypal monsters we have featured so far, “shapeshifting mind-control pigs” could really surprise players.

Another nice detail on lycanthropes is as follows: “Horses and some other animals can smell lycanthropes and will become afraid.” The grey horse and the mules are both aware of the devil swine and could help the players avoid them, or at least anticipate their presence.

#22: Chimera. Another folklore classic. OSE doesn’t provide any suggestions beyond a visual description. The Overhaul gives us more to work with, including a roll table that produces a chimera with a goat for the left head and hindquarters, a leopard for the center head and forequarters, and a newt for the right head and tail. It breathes poison gas and has no wings. Created by a wizard who is also probably interred here.

#26: Cyclops. It’s interesting to compare the OSE cyclops to one from a more modern-style monster manual. The OSE version hews close to the Odyssey; it raises sheep, is slow-witted, and possesses the ability to curse people. All straight out of the Greek lore.

The 2014 5E monster manual, by comparison, shunts this information into the flavor text, abstracting it away from the source myths. Consequently, aside from its poor depth perception, the 5E cyclops has almost nothing to distinguish it from the statistically similar hill giant, which is a shame, particularly because 5E has an abundance of interchangeable brutes like this taking up space in the book.

The Overhaul parsimoniously groups the cyclops with the giants, so we’ll roll there to get some more of an idea of what to do with this dude. The “Why fight these giants?” table produces “They keep growing larger. Soon it won’t be possible to harm them.” So this cyclops was getting bigger and bigger with no end in sight, and the magic of the prison keeps that magical growth in check. The cyclops may even be a willing prisoner here, worried that the prison’s weakening structural integrity will reboot their uncontrollable embiggening.

#7: Beetle, Giant. The fire beetle (a fantasy firefly) and the oil beetle (a fantasy bombardier beetle) are the famous ones here, but rolling randomly tilts me toward the Tiger Beetle (a fantasy… uh, tiger beetle). OSE tiger beetles “hunt robber flies, but sometimes eat humans.” The bit about robber flies is useful, as we haven’t placed those guys yet.

The real-life tiger beetle has a number of gameable features we can steal, including antlion-like larvae that burrow into the sand to trap prey; an ability to charge very quickly toward prey, but with the need to stop and visually reorient; and the ability to mimic the sounds of toxic moths so that bats won’t eat them. We can tie these guys to both the robber flies and the bats when we get those results. 

#100: Rock Baboon. Once again I’m charmed by old-school D&D’s “animal, but slightly weird” approach, contra modern D&D’s harder division between mundane animals (lumped together in the back of the manual) and fantastic monsters. The rock baboon is a pretty straightforward monster per the OSE entry, but I do enjoy that they “communicate with screams.” Same, rock baboon, same. How far can we take that? 

Perhaps relative to other creatures in the dungeon, the rock baboons are particularly good at communicating important information over relatively far distances. The primary danger when encountering a single baboon or a small group is that they will alert the rest of their troop, even if they are far away. The baboons could even be useful allies if befriended, facilitating long-distance communication (filtered through baboon-speak, of course).

#134: Wolf. The most interesting bit about wolves in the OSE entry is that they can be trained, and that goblins ride dire wolves. So we have two possible routes here; wolves trained by the wardens to police the prison, and wolves ridden by the goblins we haven’t seen yet. The next entry better serves the prior option, so I’m going to go with the latter and assume these are goblin-affiliated wolves. We’ll put the wolves near the hobgoblins and leave the door open for a greater goblin zone in the prison.

#10: Blink Dog. Apparently we’re in the dog block. In addition to their signature teleport ability, blink dogs are lawful and hate warp beasts. I think it makes sense to consider them servants of the jailers. Their blink ability would make them well-suited to capture, corral, or pursue prisoners without the prison’s physical barriers limiting their movement. Perhaps they’ve been left to their own devices since the prison has gone to rot. A first encounter with the blink dogs will probably involve them shadowing PCs or observing them from afar to take their measure. They could be powerful allies for PCs who earn their trust by containing monsters or stopping escapes.

In Defense of Rats in the Basement

In parallel with my Strangers on a Train game, I’ve also been running Nightmare Over Ragged Hollow by Joseph R. Lewis. It has been refreshing to run Nightmare, as a change of pace from the relatively high-concept Strangers premise, because the idea is straightforward: The local temple is mysteriously surrounded by a golden dome, trapping people inside. The PCs are locals who need to figure the problem out. A small adventuring region around the town provides different opportunities to tackle the problem. Classic fantasy adventure stuff.

In the first session of the game, the PCs decided to make some money by clearing vermin out of the local tailor’s basement. If you’re already groaning, you’re familiar with the rats-in-the-basement cliche; an RPG trope in which novice PCs are given a trivial, one-dimensional fight against low-HD monsters to kick off the game.

Tropes have their place, though. “You meet in a tavern” is another cliche, but it is a cliche because it gets the PCs together and into the action quickly. “Rats in the basement” provides an immediate problem with a straightforward solution that PCs can solve quickly without taking up much session time.

But there are both good and bad ways to run a rats-in-the-basement scenario. A few details can make all the difference. Here’s how I ran this scenario.

There’s a reason for the reward. One of the players quite reasonably asked why a tailor was willing to pay 100 GP for someone to clear vermin out of his basement. I decided that he had an order from the nearby kingdom for some elaborate finery (something like the “London Season” in England in the 19th century, which fueled much of the textile industry at that time). He needed to retrieve the raw materials from his basement in time to complete the work. That was reason enough to justify the reward, and also did a bit of background worldbuilding.

The situation is at least somewhat unknown. The vermin in the basement are not ordinary rats, but spider-rats, and they have some great art (below, by artist Li-An). Always show the players the art! Mechanically, the spider-rats are not too different from mundane rats. But they feel different. Just like the rattagator and the doom cow, the spider-rodents are mechanically ordinary, but the players don't know that, and they are flavorfully evocative enemies. 

Something is at stake beyond HP. After the lead PC failed a roll to start the encounter, I ruled that a spider-rat would drop from the ceiling and crawl into his clothes. So when the resulting fight broke out, there was also a non-combat situation (spider-rat in clothes) with a non-combat goal (eating the PC’s rations). This was simple and low-stakes, but it made the situation feel three-dimensional instead of two-dimensional.

There is an x-factor. The encounter describes the webbed nest of the spider-rats, which serves as a visual reminder that these aren’t ordinary rats (even if they are ordinary rats in terms of mechanics). The web is ultimately harmless, but the PCs don’t know that, and not knowing makes the fight more interesting.

Tactics are weighed against risks. The PCs decided that igniting the nest would be the fastest way to deal with the spider-rats… which might be true… but it would also be the fastest way to destroy the fabrics that were the reason for the job in the first place. A terrible roll nearly lit the tailor’s precious fabrics on fire, and only some quick thinking on the PCs’ part saved them.

There is a choice. The spider-rat that started out in the PCs clothes was the last one left at the end of the fight. The PCs decided to spare it and gave it a nickname. The spared spider-rat goes in the bag of threads, where it can get tangled up with other threads, and potentially reappear later in the game. Players love callbacks like this for multiple reasons, not the least of which is that it shows that choices they made changed the world, are remembered, and come back in unexpected ways.

The World's Largest Rewrite: Floating Heads, Mother Fungus, Cellipedes

Last time: The World's Largest Rewrite: Dungeon Is Wet, Tortoise Foreshadowing, and 30-50 Feral Hogs

 #51: Green Slime. This could again be interpreted as a connection to the dragon, but I don’t want to make an entire section of the dungeon oops-all-slimes. I’m instead going to put the green slime(s) below the pixies – in both senses of the word. We haven’t been very specific about verticality yet, besides some broad strokes, but I’m thinking that the upper left corner (where the fresh water comes in from the "roof") is near the top of the dungeon, while the lower right corner (where seawater comes in from the ocean) is near the bottom. I like the idea that the green slimes are forming on the ceiling on the level below where the dragon is, as runoff from its breath attack, and moving laterally through some point of connectivity that could potentially be exploited by explorers. 

#116: Stirge. I’ve got a bit of an order of operations going for responding to these random rolls. Some of these immediately suggest a fit based on what we’ve already established about the dungeon. Others become clear once I check the OSE entry and notice some evocative bit of flavor, or an ability I didn't know about.

If I need more beyond those two steps, I’m going back to the Monster Overhaul once again. The stirge (“skeeter” in Overhaul terminology) has a table for reskins that are mechanically identical, but very different in aesthetics. I rolled and got “Rotting floating head. Lank hair, no eyes.” This immediately sparked some ideas. Perhaps some number of the prisoners in this prison were executed by beheading, and now those severed heads are mindless blood drinkers, wandering the halls. I’m going to place them near the wights, on the assumption that the execution chamber would be near those undead wardens.

#137 Yellow Mould. No entry in the Overhaul, possibly because yellow mould is more of a dungeon hazard than a “creature” per se. It is also possible that its functionality is captured by the lavish two-page spread for myconids. OSE doesn’t appear to have myconids, so we can liberally use the Overhaul tables to figure out what is up with this yellow mould.

Rolling on the “spore attack” table, we get “fungal curse,” which means that a creature failing the save will eventually sprout a “mother fungus,” forming a new colony. I like the idea that this fate befell a prisoner who was interred here, and a new colony formed in the dungeon.

Riffing off this idea further, I imagine these fungi are somewhat like the mycorrhizal fungi that allow trees to communicate in some forests. Rather than a purely parasitic dungeon hazard, I like the idea that the fungi are symbiotic, and are probably a major source of food, exchanging (non-toxic) edible mushroom growth with other dungeon denizens for things they want (especially water and fertilizer). Because tiny fungal filaments connect many parts of the dungeon, they can provide information or facilitate communication. We’ll place the mother fungus near the fresh water, but assume that their filaments have spread to many parts of the dungeon where there is at least some moisture and not too much heat.

#21: Centipede, Giant. A classic, flexible dungeon monster that can go anywhere. OSE notes they favor damp areas, but we need to narrow it down further than that (remember, dungeon is wet). The Monster Overhaul includes both a monstrous vermin category, and another section for ancient anthropods. Going with the latter because it has an intriguing “why fight these ancient anthropods” table, we roll a prompt that “one of them ate the key to this chest.”

I’m going to tweak that and combine it with the other tables in the entry that generate weird head-shapes for these bugs. These “cellipedes,” known colloquially as the prisoner’s best friend, have evolved key-like protuberances on their heads. They are drawn to places like prisons; the more locked doors, the better it is as a breeding habitat for these sickos. They can be used to open some doors, and particularly rare specimens have a skeleton key ability, and are able to open many locked doors. 

#99: Roc. I love that OSE has giant roc, large roc, and small roc. Given that the roc’s brand is “very large bird,” I'm kinda skeptical that three categories were required. We don’t have manual entries for “tall halfling” or “non-animated skeleton.” 

OSE notes that rocs are lawful creatures who react negatively to non-lawful creatures, and can also be trained as mounts. So let’s associate them with the prison builders. We haven’t yet decided pinned down the builders’ whole deal, but for the prison to make sense as an adventuring site, it helps to presume that their authority and control has partially or completely lapsed. 

To put a twist on the roc here, let’s make it a big egg. Not every monster has to appear in its fully grown adult form. And finding an egg is a classic sort of unusual “treasure” for PCs; a player in one game I ran took a deep interest in the unhatched egg of a giant carnivorous parrot, which became a focus of downtime work for many sessions afterward. We’ll drop it near the wights, on the assumption it has or had something to do with the builders/jailers.

#78: Mule. Another mundane animal. My first thought was to make them a population descended from working animals when the prison was built, like the wild burros of the southwestern United States, who descended from domesticated donkeys brought to the area by prospectors. Then I remembered that mules are, uh, by definition not the type of animals you’re going to find breeding in the wild.

So we’ll go with a more ordinary explanation, and say that mules are survivors of adventuring parties that have entered the dungeon. Some of them have gathered here to dwell among their own kind. I like the idea that mules regularly appear on the dungeon's random encounter table as well, with each mule encountered giving hints as to the status (or final fate) of the adventurers who brought that mule into the dungeon. Mules also have a few useful sundry items on them ("found a mule" is local dungeon slang for a stroke of good fortune; more dungeons should have custom slang). An amusing recurring motif is mule-as-evidence of a TPK. Somehow the lowly pack animal always survives.

#65: Kobold. Our first humanoid! OSE uses the old-school characterization of kobolds, noting they are “canine,” while the Monster Overhaul goes with a modern take, describing them as "reptilian" and dropping them in the “dragon” section of the book. I’m sympathetic to Skerples on this taxonomic decision, given how much more prevalent that portrayal is these days, and I'll go the same route since I'm sticking to OSE where I can. But I cannot continue without mentioning that the very good boy Kuro makes a strong case for the canine kobold. I love the Dungeon Meshi portrayal, especially because “dogfolk” never really clicked in D&D the way tabaxi did. It’s a minor gripe, but I always thought the dogfolk in Thracia were the least interesting of the beastmen faction members.

…What were we talking about? Oh yeah, the World’s Largest Dungeon. Kobolds, regardless of aesthetics, are known for being numerous and individually weak, so I don’t think they make much sense as prisoners. Instead, let’s imagine they have entered the dungeon while delving underground. Did they get here intentionally or accidentally? Rolling on the Overhaul tables for prompts, we get “geckotian” kobolds (“sticky pads, marbled eyes”) with a current activity of “prodding a corpse” and “bucolic mushroom farms” as a current scheme. I think this is already more interesting than just making them dragon servants and calling it a day. 

Let’s say they entered the dungeon seeking the yellow mould mother fungus. Prodding a corpse suggests they are corpse retrievers (and possibly even grave robbers) because they’re gathering fertilizer to bring to the fungus. There may be some tension with the mother fungus; the kobolds ideally would like to domesticate it, while the mother fungus wants to infect them. So they want different things and are in tension, which is a good scenario for the PCs to crash into.

#59: Hobgoblin. The humanoid hits continue. Modern D&D treats hobgoblins as martial warriors, something like how orcs were originally portrayed. OSE reverts hobgoblins back to their earlier presentation, but that doesn’t give us much to work with, as they are just “bigger goblins,” a trait they share with bugbears. At least bugbears have the element of surprise. The Monster Overhaul (correctly) just folds hobgoblins into the orc category, which we’ll save for when orcs come up in this dungeon. So that’s no help. Hobgoblins, hobgoblins, what do you do with those hobgoblins?

It’s a thin sliver of lore, but the OSE hobgoblin entry does note that thouls sometimes serve as bodyguards to hobgoblin kings. If you’re not familiar, thouls are an infamous monster from early D&D that combines aspects of hobgoblin, ghoul, and troll, and probably originated as a typesetting mistake.

Perhaps we can make our hobgoblins more interesting by playing up the connection to goblins, ghouls, and trolls. Let’s say that hobgoblins are themselves goblins who are particularly susceptible to mutation, something already implied in other treatments of goblins. Mutation has made them bigger, for starters, but some of them have also been able to mutate into traits from other creatures. We’ll hold further specifics of their mutative powers for a future monster that hasn’t been placed yet. I’m also not sure whether they are prisoners, tresspassers, or something else. We’ll revisit that later.

#32: Driver Ant. Part of the fun of this exercise is looking at the stripped-down presentation of creatures in OSE. There’s a less-is-more vibe to these monsters. At first glance, driver ants are giant bugs with a standard bite attack and not much else to distinguish them. But on second glance…

• Omnivorous and rapacious: “Consume everything in their path, when hungry” – I feel seen.
• Morale: “Attack relentlessly, once they are engaged in melee (morale 12). Will even pursue through flames.”
• Gold: “30% chance of 1d10 × 1,000gp worth of gold nuggets, mined by the ants.”

So there are a couple of adventure vectors here. The ants are driven by hunger and can eat a lot of different things. We can imagine them chewing through barriers made from organic material, invading and connecting different regions of the dungeon.

The morale aspect is compelling for games that use morale rigorously. One of my biggest complaints with modern-style play is the strong presumption that every fight only ends when all the monsters are dead. When I run games, I stress how advantageous it is to compel monsters to flee or surrender, rather than slaughtering all of them because of video game logic.

Contrasted with our expectation of how morale may quickly end a fight against hobgoblins or kobolds or mules (please, do not fight the mules), a monster that goes into a 12-morale frenzy when you melee with it is a big problem. PCs who study their behavior could distract them with food, pelt them with arrows from a distance, or trick other monsters into fighting them. But also… the ants may have gold in their lairs. So there’s also a strong incentive to risk engaging with them further.

#135: Wraith. This is our first incorporeal undead. OSE notes that they “Dwell in deserted regions or in the homes of former victims.” I think this suggests that they are prisoners, perhaps murders or other capital criminals who persist after death, but are trapped in the "deserted region" of the prison. 

We had previously decided that our wights could be guards. Perhaps part of their role is to guard the wraith prisoners? The OSE SRD description of energy drain doesn’t specifically state that it wouldn’t work on undead, but it follows logically from the flavor of the power to say that wights would be immune. 

Next time: The World's Largest Rewrite: Grey Horse, Devil Swine, and Normal Humans

*Slaps Roof of Wikipedia Article* This Bad Boy Can Fit So Many Monsters In It

Wikipedia is the DM’s friend. Even just hitting the random article button a few times – or spinning a virtual globe and looking up a real-world place – can produce ample gameable content. So let’s see how many ideas we can spin out of a real-world monster: The helmeted hornbill.

The casque (helmetlike structure on the head) accounts for some 11% of its 3 kg weight.

We don’t usually need to think much about the weight distribution of our monsters, but it can be an interesting way to flavor them. How is a giant flying creature's body built to accommodate that activity? Many of the prompts in my flavorful dragon post concerned that question.   

Here I’m picturing a huge flightless bird with a heavy casque on its bill. It basks in the sun on ridges and mountain crests until it sees interlopers on its territory. It then curls into a ball and tips forward to roll down inclines to smash into its prey.  

Unlike any other hornbill, the casque is almost solid, and is used in head-to-head combat among males.

This kind of behavior is pretty common in the real-life animal kingdom, but it rarely comes up in monster ecologies. This is a great way to present dangerous monsters that don’t care about the PCs; monsters fighting in this way are more like a hazard than a combat encounter. 

It is a belief among the Punan Bah that a large helmeted hornbill guards the river between life and death.

There’s nothing wrong with Cerberus, but mixing in mythology from other parts of the world is refreshing.

[The casque] and the bill are yellow; the red secretion of the preen gland covers the sides and top of the casque and the base of the bill, but often leaves the front end of the casque and the distal half of the bill yellow.

OK you don’t need to worry about preen glands for most of your monsters, but the secretions imply things about the monster. Does it protect them from some form of moisture endemic in the dungeon? Is it a unique and valuable resource that adventurers would want to harvest?

Their call is two parts, the first consisting of a series of loud, intermittent barbet-like hoots, sometimes double-toned and over two dozen in number, which sound like the "toop" or "took" noise of an axe. These hoots gradually accelerates to climax in a cackle reminiscent of laughter; this is thought to advertise information about the caller, such as age, size, and fitness, to listening conspecifics.

Conveying the idea of sounds to players is challenging. How many distinct ways can you describe bird calls? Unless you are a birdwatcher yourself, probably not too many. Copying a description like this can add a lot of flavor over a generic “you hear birds.” All the better if a player hears the hoots and uses magic that allows them to understand animals… and gets the hornbill’s dating profile for their trouble.

Because of this call, the Helmeted Hornbill is also known in Malay as the "Kill your mother in law" bird (Tebang Mentua). It is said that there once was a man who disliked his mother in law so much that he chopped down the stilts that supported her house while she was still inside of it to get rid of her. As punishment, the gods transformed him into the Helmeted Hornbill and so he was condemned to relive his crime forever by mimicking the sound of an axe striking foundation posts, followed with cackling glee at the house crashing down.

This could work with little or no change in a folkloric campaign. More generally, this is a much more compelling and specific idea for a monster than a lot of the standard book creatures. Many of modern D&D’s monsters have cursed origins, but they tend to be abstracted or attributed to broad cosmological forces. The genius loci flavor here is much stronger and more actionable.

Helmeted hornbills mostly eat the fruit of strangler figs.

One easy way to populate a wilderness hex or fill out a random encounter table is just to take real-world terms literally. Strangler figs become literal constricting plants that kill unwary adventurers. Studying the hornbill’s behavior (and how it feeds without being caught) is a useful survival strategy for an adventurer. 

I’ll leave it there, but there’s more we could harvest just from Wikipedia’s high-level view. But one last note. The real-world helmeted hornbill is critically endangered. I just donated to a group that supports conservation efforts for helmeted hornbills and other animals in Borneo. Go ahead and throw them a few bills, and enjoy the look on your players faces when you tell them how much damage they’re taking on a critical hit from a giant bird’s casque.

The World's Largest Rewrite: Dungeon Is Wet, Tortoise Foreshadowing, and 30-50 Feral Hogs

Last time: The World’s Largest Rewrite: Salvaging the Core Idea From a Megadungeon Disaster

#104: Sea Serpent (Lesser). Why “lesser”? There is no “greater” sea serpent in the OSE bestiary. Regardless, it is a chance to carve out a water area separate from the giant catfish's pond. One of the big problems with the original WLD, relative to megadungeons like Arden Vul or Thracia, is its flatness; most good megadungeons are three-dimensional, and defined as much by their depth as their breadth. 

We won't worry too much about specifics just yet -- the diagram I posted at the end of the last post is for abstracted, relative positions. But lets assume the lower parts of this dungeon are flooded with seawater, and this was an Alcatraz-style island prison before it became an adventuring site. I like the idea that this part of the dungeon is a possible escape route, but made dangerous by sea creatures that have made their lairs here. The serpent is tough enough to dissuade most of the nearby prisoners from sneaking out this way. The black dragon could probably kill the serpent, but it is too big to fit through the underwater tunnels (and the seawater dilutes the acid too much for it to corrode its way out).

#24: Crab, Giant. Conveniently showing up right after Sea Serpent, we’ll build out our ocean depths a bit more here. We’ll put the crabs a little closer to the core. They scavenge what the sea serpent doesn't eat itself, and are also occasionally consumed by it.

#18: Cat, Great. Rolling randomly for the sub-types once again we get… sabre-toothed tiger. Hell yeah. “Normally only found in Lost World regions.” OK. Maybe part of the purpose of this prison isn’t just to house criminals but also to preserve lost wildlife that no longer exists out in the world. I’m going to put the tiger near the nobles and the catfish – he’s been drawn to the fresh water and stalks the area nearby. There may be a supernatural zoo sub-theme we can explore with other entries.

#81: Nixie. Yeah, nixies are going to require some more dungeon infrastructure and background to explain. I’m beginning to think that entire prison is not just an island, but also overgrown and covered in natural growth on the top, including a large body of fresh water. The nixies were washed in here when the water eroded through the dungeon's ceiling and flooded several regions. The lake where the giant catfish lives is a terminus, but the nixies control the river flowing into it. They’d like to claim control of the lake, but the giant catfish is too big for them to deal with directly. They’ve probably charmed other humanoids, including a few of the noble’s retinue, and perhaps some others we haven’t placed yet.

#62: Insect Swarm. This could go anywhere, couldn’t it? We don’t need to explain why an insect swarm is in the prison, because insects just like to show up in places where they’re not supposed to be. I like how the OSE bestiary has such extensive procedures for encountering them. I’ll draw inspiration from one of those – the rules for escaping the swarm by “diving into water.” Putting them near the water gives the PCs an “out of the frying pan, into the fire” option that might send some of them into the arms of the nixies. I don’t want more bees, so we’re going to go with beetles instead. I think they’re actually plant-eaters and just want to consume the PCs clothes and other textiles, but adventurers won't know that, and their bites through the clothes still hurt!

#133: Wight. It’s interesting that OSE says these are “Corpses of humans or demihumans, possessed by malevolent spirits.” The 2014 5E Manual suggests they are more conventional undead, i.e., the evil spirit is animating the same body it occupied before death. The Monster Overhaul, my current go-to bestiary, emphasizes that “A Wight’s un-life is tied to an oath, a strong emotion, or the simple will to endure.” It has a nice random table of wight types. I rolled on it and got “Avenger.” Perhaps these are enforcers who swore an oath to the prison builders to hunt those who escaped their cells. The oath extends into un-life (oops) and they’re now doing this forever. I think the builders of this prison may be jerks. Per OSE, wights that drain someone of all levels create more wights, so these wights may be “recruiting” more hunters.

I don’t want a whole undead zone where they’re all clustered together, so I’m going to separate these guys from the mummy-zombie zone. We’ll place them in as-yet unexplored territory south of the ochre jelly zone. Mundane acid doesn’t harm them, so they’re safe from the jellies. Presumably they roam around looking for escapees, but their barracks are down there. 

#92: Pixie. OSE treats pixies and sprites as separate things, and while the latter has a bit of a hook to it, pixies are quite boring. The Monster Overhaul lumps them together, but does include some extra flavor we can tap. They are often invisible and have a mercurial, forgetful nature. I like the idea that these invisible troublemakers were accidentally captured when some larger, more important prisoner was detained. That could place them almost anywhere, but the bigger the monster, the more plausible there presence here. I believe they are kind of Tinkerbelling or Jiminycricketing the dragon. The dragon probably finds them annoying, but hasn’t dissolved them yet, because their polymorph ability might come in handy at some point.

#36: Elemental. Picking randomly, we get fire elemental. OSE emphasizes they are summoned servants. Of the prison builder perhaps? I need more detail, so checking the Monster Overhaul, we get some excellent flavor and tables. The “who summoned this elemental?” table suggests tortoise tsar, a Monster Overhaul original, who has some fire-based powers, so fire elemental fits. The tortoise tsar isn’t part of my original conceit of using the OSE bestiary, but I can merge him with the dragon turtle entry. We’ll plan to revisit this situation when we roll up dragon turtle / tortoise tsar and figure out what is going on here.

#15: Caecilia. It’s OK, I had to look it up too. It’s an amphibian that looks like a snake or worm, although OSE’s are 30’ long. To take stock here, all of our monsters so far fit into one of the following categories:

• Prisoners or "zoo" animals
• Invasive species or other intruders
• Guardians or servants of the prison builders
• Creations of other creatures in the dungeon

I want to avoid putting all the monstrous animals in the second category. The prison should still feel prison-like, and not be completely overrun by creatures from outside. I think we’ll say these are prisoners, like our sabre-toothed tiger. Like the big cat, they’re extinct in the outside world (probably for the best – 30’ long, yikes!) but they live on here in the prison. 

#11: Boar. As I said, there’s a lot of beasts in this bestiary. I’m going to tap the Monster Overhaul for inspiration again. It has a table for “local boar crimes,” which is too good to pass up. I rolled “ransacked a granary.” And I note that the Overhaul suggests boars are “as smart as most people.” I like the idea that the prison builders decided these 30-50 feral hogs were smart enough to stand trial for their crimes, just like people would. So they’re prisoners here, recently escaped from their cells, but still trapped within the larger prison. This could go in a sort of Silent Titans direction.

Next time: The World's Largest Rewrite: Floating Heads, Mother Fungus, Cellipedes

The World’s Largest Rewrite: Salvaging the Core Idea From a Megadungeon Disaster

I recently read an exhaustive review from 2013 by oriongates of the World’s Largest Dungeon (WLD for short, hereforth), a megadungeon released for D&D in 2004, at the height of the d20 OGL publishing era.

The product’s gimmick was that it was bigger (and more expensive) than any other dungeon of the time, and that it included every type of monster in the game. This is good advertising and bad design. Reading oriongates’ exhaustive review, it is clear that much of the size is wasted on repetitive, purposeless rooms, and that many of the monsters are shoehorned in to meet the product’s central conceit, rather than appearing because they present interesting challenges and opportunities to tell the story of the place and give the PCs compelling choices for exploration. Compare this to something like Arden Vul (more modern in publication date, more old-school in approach) where the size, shape, and populace of the dungeon is very deliberately communicating something, rather than trying to hit an external, artificial objective.

The WLD would be a mess in any system, but it is particularly ill-suited to D&D 3.5E, where monsters and magic have particularly detailed and complex abilities and mechanics. At least a B/X game could reduce this kind of enterprise to minimalist keys, in the style of Palace of the Vampire Queen. Anything in the D&D-3.5E world has to deal with huge stat blocks and include contingencies for super-powered characters.

Trying to fix this abomination is a fool’s errand. In their review, oriongates mentions trying to do so, but later giving up, and I think that’s the right call. If neither the map nor the lore nor the factions nor the NPCs are really anything to write home about, why would anyone think it was worthwhile to fix? 

I mean, these people somehow delude themselves into thinking it might, but ... But it might work for us.

Update (June 2025): I started writing this post (and subsequent posts about the WLD) in early 2025, and it was mostly done by the spring. It turned out to be a topical exercise, as I later learned that a crowdfunded overhaul of the the WLD is in the works, and as of writing this update, has clocked nearly $700,000. The Backerkit page is extensive, and features lavish production design and a mountain of extras. It also features a long list of contributors with extensive RPG credits. 

While the product certainly looks nice, I am suspicious of language like "Massive in Every Way That Matters." The marketing still sounds very "woooah, Guinness Book of World Records!!" rather than "here's how and why this would be a compelling roleplaying experience." Sheer page count and taxonomic exhaustiveness cannot make up for what really defines a great megadungeon: a specific, gameable concept for an intriguing adventure scenario underpinned by an evocative milieu. 

That said, perhaps the team behind this effort decided that such nuances of dungeon design were simply not right for what is basically get-hype marketing copy, and they will quietly fix the original WLD's many flaws behind the scenes. It will be interesting to monitor the reviews when this beast comes out and see how it does. End of Update.

So, if we were going to try to make our own WLD, we could make life easier by first starting with a smaller monster list. D&D’s bestiary in the 3.5E days was huge, and featured some really weird, niche monsters that could not logically be packed into a megadungeon. Go back to something more fundamental. Start with a classic and basic bestiary, like the OSE monster bestiary. There are 138 monsters here. That is pretty manageable. 

Here’s a list of all those monsters. Look at 'em go!

1. Acolyte 
2. Ape, White 
3. Bandit
4. Basilisk
5. Bat
6. Bear
7. Beetle, Giant
8. Berserker
9. Black Pudding
10. Blink Dog
11. Boar
12. Brigand
13. Buccaneer
14. Bugbear
15. Caecilia
16. Camel
17. Carcass Crawler
18. Cat, Great
19. Cave Locust
20. Centaur
21. Centipede, Giant
22. Chimera
23. Cockatrice
24. Crab, Giant
25. Crocodile
26. Cyclops
27. Dervish
28. Djinni (Lesser)
29. Doppelgänger
30. Dragon
31. Dragon Turtle
32. Driver Ant
33. Dryad
34. Dwarf (Monster)|Dwarf
35. Efreeti (Lesser)
36. Elemental
37. Elephant
38. Elf (Monster)|Elf
39. Ferret, Giant
40. Fish, Giant
41. Gargoyle
42. Gelatinous Cube
43. Ghoul
44. Giant
45. Gnoll
46. Gnome
47. Goblin
48. Golem
49. Gorgon
50. Grey Ooze
51. Green Slime
52. Griffon
53. Halfling (Monster)|Halfling
54. Harpy
55. Hawk
56. Hellhound
57. Herd Animal
58. Hippogriff
59. Hobgoblin
60. Horse
61. Hydra
62. Insect Swarm
63. Invisible Stalker (Monster)|Invisible Stalker
64. Killer Bee
65. Kobold
66. Leech, Giant
67. Living Statue
68. Lizard, Giant
69. Lizard Man
70. Lycanthrope
71. Manticore
72. Mastodon
73. Medium
74. Medusa
75. Merchant
76. Merman
77. Minotaur
78. Mule
79. Mummy
80. Neanderthal (Caveman)
81. Nixie
82. Noble
83. Nomad
84. Normal Human
85. Ochre Jelly
86. Octopus, Giant
87. Ogre
88. Orc
89. Owl Bear
90. Pegasus
91. Pirate
92. Pixie
93. Pterosaur
94. Purple Worm
95. Rat
96. Rhagodessa
97. Rhinoceros
98. Robber Fly
99. Roc
100. Rock Baboon
101. Rust Monster
102. Salamander
103. Scorpion, Giant
104. Sea Serpent (Lesser)
105. Shadow
106. Shark
107. Shrew, Giant
108. Shrieker
109. Skeleton
110. Snake
111. Spectre
112. Spider, Giant
113. Sprite
114. Squid, Giant
115. Stegosaurus
116. Stirge
117. Thoul
118. Titanothere
119. Toad, Giant
120. Trader
121. Treant
122. Triceratops
123. Troglodyte
124. Troll
125. Tyrannosaurus Rex
126. Unicorn
127. Vampire
128. Veteran
129. Warp Beast
130. Water Termite
131. Weasel, Giant
132. Whale
133. Wight
134. Wolf
135. Wraith
136. Wyvern
137. Yellow Mould
138. Zombie

I’m going to randomly pick from this list and put it together as I go. There’s no reason to do this randomly. Randomizing it just makes this exercise more interesting. I mean I certainly don’t want to do this in alphabetical order. No “A is for ape, white as the snow; B is for bandit, after your dough…” No, no, no, absolutely not. Random it is.

Droning Bee by Eric Poslinski

#64: Killer bee. Let’s keep as much of the WLD conceit as possible and assume that this place is (or at some point in the past was) a prison. The OSE killer bees “build hives underground” (interesting) so something about this place attracted them when they were seeking a nesting site. We’ll decide what that was later. But we can definitely imagine a structure of beeswax and propolis that has repurposed and displaced parts of the original dungeon structure. This will give us a good opportunity to add some texture to the dungeon, right from the start; from oriongates’ review, it’s clear that too much of the WLD was plain gray stone.

#29: Doppelganger. The doppelgangers might be prisoners. Thracia has a good encounter with doppelgangers who have been imprisoned behind a sealed-up wall for centuries, which I suppose implied that doppelgangers are immortal and can't starve to death. Perhaps doppelgangers go into a hibernation state when no other sapient bipeds are nearby. Their cells have been covered in hive structure, but they may wake up if PCs or other people get close enough.  

#82: Noble. “Powerful humans with noble titles (e.g. Count, Duke, Knight, etc.)... Squire and retainers: Accompanied by a 2nd level fighter (a squire) and up to ten 1st level fighters (retainers).” OK, I like the idea that this guy and his followers are all prisoners together. Let’s suppose our noble is a Qin Shi Huang type who has done some pretty terrible stuff. The PCs can talk to him, and he will argue that his methods were necessary to unite a kingdom that will last long after his death. 

I like the idea that rather than this being a prison of unambiguously evil creatures like demons and liches, it is more like a real prison, with degrees of culpability, moral gray areas, and judgment calls on the part of the celestial jailers. The PCs will probably not find this noble to be particularly sympathetic… but they might! Or at least they may see him as someone worthy of a temporary alliance or truce. 

He’s here with a cadre of true believers who volunteered to go with him into captivity. Since I already established that the doppelgangers were not near other humanoids, I’m going to put this noble and his retinue on the other side of the bees. The noble and his retinue have been stealing honey to supplement whatever sustenance is otherwise available (we’ll decide later how creatures are getting enough food  to survive here). The killer bee hive provides a nice risk/reward opportunity for NPCs and players alike, since the honey can heal wounds… but the bees also, uh, kill, so it is a dangerous place as well.

#30: Dragon. We’re not messing around. Let's go right to the big guns. I agree with the WLD’s decision not to include every variety within a category of monster, so when we get these monster entries with multiple sub-types, we'll just choose one. I’ll pick randomly and get a black dragon. 

This particularly rapacious dragon has been using its acid breath to slowly burrow out of its cell. The prison was designed to resist this kind of escape attempt, but its structural integrity depended in part on maintenance and monitoring from the jailers, which has since lapsed. The dragon is patient, and it has linked up a number of cells around its primary domain. Like the bees, the dragon provides a reason for the dungeon’s structure to deviate from the sensible, dull, repetitive layout one would expect of a prison. The dragon limits the killer bees’ expansion in this direction, as its scales protect it from their stings, and its acid can easily destroy their hiveworks.

#138: Zombie. There is no real reason to imprison zombies. Another complaint from oriongates' review is that there are too many monsters – particularly the undead – that celestials would just destroy, not imprison. 

So we'll say the zombies were created by something else that is imprisoned here; something more dangerous. Some or perhaps all of them are former members of the noble’s nearby entourage who were killed and then zombified. We’ll figure out later who or what caused that to happen. For now, we'll place our zombies just to the east of the killer bees. They’re indifferent to the stinging insects, so they make a good buffer. 

#16: Camel. From dragons and zombies to… camels. Not all the entries are going to be easy. The camels are not prisoners, and they’re also unlikely to have migrated here intentionally, like the bees did. Let’s say they were brought here by some group of prisoners – possibly our noble and his retinue. We’ll put them adjacent to the dragon’s territory. The dragon has been herding them to supplement whatever food it is getting elsewhere. Humans find them to be irascible, but they freeze like deer in the headlights when the dragon approaches.

#40: Fish, Giant. One of the oddities of old-school D&D is the extensive “unusual animal” entries. I hadn’t realized the OSE bestiary included five different types of giant fish. We’ll pick randomly again for our sub-type, and land on giant catfish. One of the issues with the WLD is that several areas of the dungeon are transparently excuses to cram in monsters who need a custom biome, and the WLD’s “water level” is one of the most conspicuous. We’ll instead presume a number of separate watery areas, several of which may also be connections between different parts of the dungeon, as good megadungeon design necessitates. Water can also help explain the breakdown of separations between dungeon areas. 

We’ll say that this fish was once an ordinary catfish that was sucked into the dungeon as part of a flooding event, and later grew to its abnormal size as a result of the powerful mana suffusing the water within the dungeon. Because it is submerged except when hunting, it is safe from the killer bees, so we’ll put it next to them to form another buffer area. The noble and his entourage probably come here for water; they know to avoid the catfish.

#85: Ochre Jelly. A classic dungeon denizen that can be placed just about anywhere. Since the jelly is acid-themed, we’ll place it near the black dragon’s lair. Perhaps the jellies even originated with the dragon, gradually gaining mobility through latent dungeon magic?

#79: Mummy. We’ll put the mummy near the zombies, and posit that the mummy (whether intentionally or ambiently through its aura of uneath) is what roused them. Obviously this is another prisoner – perhaps the magic that allows it to respawn is particularly pernicious, and the celestials decided to imprison it after failing to find the canopic jar that powered its resurrection cycle. We’ll learn more about the mummy after we place a few more monsters nearby.

#74: Medusa. Gorgons are a favorite of mine. It would be easy enough to just assume this one is a prisoner, but I want to subvert expectations here. Perhaps they were contracted by the builders to help build the dungeon; after all, turning living matter into stone is a good way to supplement whatever stone you’re quarrying. This gorgon was either betrayed by the builders, or trapped here by accident. The gorgon is immortal and at least as willing to negotiate as the noble, if not more so. They can’t turn off their gaze, so they’re a dangerous ally even when attempting to work with diplomatic PCs.

Next time: The World's Largest Rewrite: Dungeon Is Wet, Tortoise Foreshadowing, and Feral Hogs on Trial