Affirmations

Towards the end of a CoDA meeting the secretary passes around a list of positive affirmations which members are free to pick from.

I act in ways that ENCOURAGE loving and healthy responses from others.
I keep an open mind and ACCEPT others AS THEY ARE.
I engage in emotional, physical, or sexual intimacy when it is HEALTHY and APPROPRIATE for me.
I PRACTICE my recovery to develop healthy and fulfilling relationships.
I use direct and straightforward communication to resolve conflicts and deal appropriately with
confrontations.
When I use the tools of recovery, I am able to develop and maintain healthy relationships of my
choosing.
I embrace my own vulnerability by trusting and honoring my feelings and needs.
I welcome close relationships while maintaining healthy boundaries.
I believe in and trust a power greater than myself. I surrender my self-will to my Higher Power.
I honor my authentic emotions and share them when appropriate.
I freely engage in expressions of appreciation toward others.

I am committed to my safety and leave situations that feel unsafe or are inconsistent with my goals.
I am rooted in my own values, even if others don’t agree or become angry.
I consider my interests and feelings when asked to participate in another’s plans.
I can separate my feelings from the feelings of others. I allow myself to experience my feelings and
others to be responsible for their feelings.
I respect my own opinions and feelings and express them appropriately.
My sexuality is grounded in genuine intimacy and connection. When I need to feel loved, I express my
heart’s desires. I do not settle for sex without love.
I ask my Higher Power for guidance, and I consider possible consequences before I make decisions.
I stand in my truth and maintain my integrity, whether others approve or not, even if it means making
difficult changes in my life.

I can be aware of my feelings and identify them, often in the moment. I know the difference between
my thoughts and feelings.
I embrace my feelings; they are valid and important.
I know the difference between caring and caretaking. I recognize that caretaking others is often
motivated by a need to benefit myself.
I am able to feel compassion for another’s feelings and needs.
I acknowledge that I may own the negative traits I often perceive in others.
I acknowledge that I sometimes need the help of others.
I am aware of my painful feelings and express them appropriately.
I am able to express my feelings openly, directly, and calmly.
I pursue intimate relationships only with others who want, and are able to engage in, healthy and
loving relationships.

I can trust my ability to make effective decisions.
I can accept myself as I am. I choose to emphasize progress over perfection.
I feel appropriately worthy of the recognition, praise, or gifts I receive.
I’m able to value the opinions of those I trust, without needing to gain their approval. I choose to have
confidence in myself.
I choose to recognize myself as being a lovable and valuable person.
I choose to seek my own approval first. I make a point to examine my motivations carefully when I
seek approval from others.
I continue to take my personal inventory, and when I am wrong, promptly admit it.
I choose to be honest with myself about my behaviors and motivations. I can feel secure enough to
admit mistakes to myself and others, and to hear their opinions WITHOUT feeling threatened.
I choose to meet my own needs and wants when possible.
I choose to reach out for help when it’s necessary and appropriate.
I choose to perceive myself as equal to others.
With the help of my Higher Power, I can create safety in my life.
I make the choice to avoid procrastination by meeting my responsibilities in a timely manner.
I am able to establish and uphold healthy priorities and boundaries in my life.

My communication with others is authentic and truthful.
I realize that, with rare exceptions, other adults are capable of managing their own lives.
I accept the thoughts, choices, and feelings of others, even though I may not be comfortable with
them.
I give advice only when asked.
I am content to see others take care of themselves.
I carefully and honestly contemplate my motivations when preparing to give a gift.
I embrace and celebrate my sexuality as evidence of my health and wholeness. I do not use it to gain
the approval of others.
I develop relationships with others based on equality, intimacy, and balance.
I find and use resources that meet my needs without making demands on others. I ask for help when I
need it, WITHOUT expectation.
I behave AUTHENTICALLY with others, allowing my caring and compassionate qualities to emerge.
I ask directly for what I want and need and trust the outcome to my Higher Power. I do not try to
manipulate outcomes with blame or shame.
I cooperate, compromise, and negotiate with others in a way that honors my integrity.
I treat others with respect and consideration, and trust my Higher Power to meet my needs and
desires.
I use my recovery for my own growth and not to manipulate or control others.