Thoughts

LOVERS AND OR FRIENDS

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My friends are more important to me than my lovers. Lovers betray you, at some level, but friends stay loyal. True friends. The best lovers are also friends. The best friends don’t have to be lovers, don’t need to be lovers, to mean the world to you. Friendship beats everything else. There are some people you can be lovers with, but not friends. The moment the love affair ends, the friendship collapses, because it was inwardly empty. It was only sex, carnal comfort and perhaps some degree of emotional connection, but without reciprocal Depth. No sex is worth the best friendship. Nothing beats a person you share your truth with and the truth is safe with them, and they share their truth with you and it is safe with you. Share is the operational word. Safe is the magic word. It is safeness and trust. Respect, honesty and genuineness.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

JUST THE TWO OF US

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If it’s just the two of us, let it be just the two of us. Don’t believe what anyone from outside tells you.

If I open myself to you then, believe me, nobody knows me better than you do.

Trust your heart and trust me. The exclusive magic at the core of our love will see us through.

But if you fail to bring up the courage to believe, or if you yield to outside influence, you damage our super glue.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

BECOMING CIRCUMSPECT

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A year passed by so quickly, like a whirlwind. The most important lesson I have learned: Value people who tell you the truth, for they are rare. Be sparing with your trust. And know that, unfortunately or fortunately, there is always something more to every story you hear. The exceptions to this rule are rare. So, become circumspect, even as you love harder. Because the harder you love, the deeper you go into the heart of truth and deception. The human heart is on earth to grow, and it grows only by intense and authentic experiencing of itself and of other hearts. So, open your heart to everything, but know this: “Everything” includes both the light and the dark, both the dependable and the treacherous, coming both from strangers as well as, even more so, from the people you trust.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

PARALLEL UNIVERSES

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When a person just doesn’t know how to tell you the truth, they simply stick to the lie. From start to finish. Even if they want to tell you the truth, they don’t know how to, they don’t know where to start because the truth runs on a completely different storyline and separate lifestyle, opposite reality and parallel universe. It will hurt you deeply and completely overturn your view of life and of them. Or so the person thinks. But if only they would try you, to see a new person emerge and a new powerful authentic relationship form.

Starting with a lie is always a slippery slope, a rollercoaster ride. It is nervousness and heart palpitations from start to finish. It can be exciting and exhilarating, until it becomes human and personal. Then it becomes a chore, a nightmare, a heavy load, and a puzzling sphinx, a difficult riddle to solve. Tell the truth and shatter the other person’s reality? Or maintain the lie and allow it to eat you inside and gnaw at the other person’s gut instincts, and prevent both of you from ever forming a true bond? And yet, only the truth liberates.

There will be a humanity one day of honest human spirits who live, share and relate in the light of truth always and in all things. Deeply and simply. Inside and out. Individually and as a society. The most fundamental truth we owe ourselves as human beings is the truth of how we really are as a person. This is the basis of all relationships and of society and of a possibility to one day have a reflection of Paradise on Earth. A home away from Home.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

LOVE HARDER, LOVE INTENSELY

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When we have been hurt once, we make the mistake of shielding our hearts from loving again or loving too deeply the next time. This is very wrong. This is allowing the darkness to win against the light. The right thing to do is the opposite. Love hard, hurt hard, stand up, heal, fall hard again and love even harder. Next time, love HARDER. The only thing that can heal a broken heart is complete re-immersion into the intensity of love. Only intense love can dispel the spectre of the fear of love. Because it touches the core of the spirit and makes it know it is alive.

The nature of intense love is that, if your heart gets broken, it takes a long time to fall out of it and to heal, once you have given your heart and your trust and your openness to someone. Depth does not permit superficiality. Intensity does not permit an easy withdrawal or a quick transition. If you love hard, moving on will be very hard. But once you’re gone, looking back or coming back will also be very hard, because you are also going to fall hard into the next one. True love is intense, because only intensity is satisfying and fulfilling. Intensity is an addictive drug.

And nothing is more intense than the intimacy of shared truthfulness. Not even sex is an intimate as the sharing of truth and trust. A person who cannot share their truth with you, or who you cannot share your truth with, is inwardly distant from you. You will never have an intense intimate relationship with this person. The bond with this person will not be deep and satisfying. The pains will not be deep, neither will the joys. Moving on for or from such a person will be quick and easy. But your emptiness will not be filled.

If you want your emptiness to be filled, you have to have the courage to open your heart and fall fully, give yourself fully, share deeply and honestly, and love hard. Love HARDER. It comes with the risk and certainty of pain, but also of the deepest joy and satisfaction possible. And, above all, it is one of the only few things on earth that can really change a human spirit and help it to mature and develop. Because it touches your core and makes you even more alive.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

SPOTLIGHT

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Some people are full of lies. Once you see through them, they start running. Because their only true super power is their ability to lie and to cover up their lies. Once you have or develop the kryptonite to this power, they run away from you.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

TIME WILL TELL

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Time is such a strange thing. We always forget how long it is. One day you will change and you will look back and ask yourself Why. Why did I do that? Why did I not do that? Why did I say that? Why did I not say that? Why. Was it really worth it?

If it was, you will know and you will be happy. If it wasn’t, you will know and you will be sad.

But only time will tell you what your heart is still too blind or too stubborn or too immature to see today.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

MARCH TOWARDS APRIL

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So many things ending in my life this month, as March ends. And so many things starting. Looking forward to April. Is my heart big enough to contain and bear it all? Yes, my heart is always big enough. And when it isn’t, it simply grows some more, grows again.

Aries, as ever, you end the old and bring the new. For me, to me, in me.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

AFTERMATH

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It took me a while to acknowledge and accept the betrayal. And the permanent change. It is what it is. But now that I have, I have. Now, we can successfully pretend, together and apart, that it never happened; and that we were never that close. Now the bond is broken. The intimate bond of trust.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

ONLY ONE PERSON

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When only one person’s attention matters to you, only one person’s smiles and words and approval really matter to you, over a long and sustained period of time, then you know that your heart has really been taken and, even more importantly, your heart has truly voluntarily given itself to someone. Then you know you’re really in love.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains