Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts

Sunday, July 02, 2023

Alvin Burstein (1931 – 2023)

 

A few days ago (on Tuesday, June 27th), I lost a friend—Alvin Burstein, who most people called “Al.” By the time I met Al, he was already retired from a long career as a clinical psychologist and educator. I met him in a different capacity when I joined a small, newly begun writing group on the Northshore of Lake Pontchartrain, across the lake from New Orleans. Al and his wife Sandra were early members of that group, which underwent quite a few changes before a hardcore cadre of stalwarts coalesced. Al, who was very much a man of literature, suggested we call our group Louisiana Inklings, after a much more famous group of writers, most notably including C. S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien. Inklings met for many years, initially at a local library or occasionally a restaurant, and finally at Al and Sandra’s elegant home on the Northshore. (It continued in somewhat truncated form even after Covid hit.)

Al was a fan of sushi as well as literature, and he and I and Sandra met sometimes outside the group for raw fish, rice, and conversation. Al had written many academic and scholarly articles in his career (here is a link to his vita), but at this time in his life he’d stoked his fire for fiction. And he was a talented and precise wordsmith, but often a playful one, as witnessed by a story of his that I republished in an anthology I edited of the Inkling crew’s work—“The Crawfish Boil.”

Al was also astute at the critique work of the group. Although his often-blunt commentary occasionally left some hard feelings early on, his intent was never to cut but to clarify. His deeply analytical and probing mind, having been honed by years working as a clinical psychologist, sliced through the BS and centered on the heart of the matter—what was the story trying to say and was it successful at it.

Although Al and my writing styles could scarcely have been more different, we both appreciated and respected the other’s work. Al understood what I was trying to accomplish and why my characters were described as they were, and he often made inciteful comments that helped me clarify my thoughts. (He was also great at catching typos.)

Al had quite a long life. His energy seldom faltered; his commitment to quality in his own work and in that of others never did. Al was also a Francophile and the picture above, taken by Sandra, shows him at the Academie Francaise in Paris. Perhaps the best sample of his literary style can be found in "The Owl," which was published in 2012. A delightful novella.  

Al Burstein was a fine man, a fine writer, and a wonderful friend. I’ll miss him. 




Sunday, September 30, 2018

A Hard Loss for Us All


On September 29, a young woman of my acquaintance killed herself. I had not met her in real life but that doesn’t mean I didn’t know her. We had been friends on facebook for several years and had corresponded frequently. I had learned about her life, her pups, her house, her job, her fears and hopes.

Amanda was kind-hearted, intelligent, principled. She worked with animals and loved them. She had much to offer the world, but the world didn’t seem to want it. Not the whole world, certainly. She had friends and people who cared about her. But I believe she felt that there wasn’t a place for her in the world. It is not for me to address the reasons why she might have felt this way. I know others with the same reasons who also suffer.

On the day of the act, she posted a short message on facebook to say goodbye. Despite the fact that people responded within fifteen minutes and the police were called, it was too late. I did not find that out until late evening, and now my heart hurts. I wish the world had been better for her.

All I can say is, be kind to each other. One thing I try to ask myself when I make judgements about people from some brief interaction with them, or from just knowing their opinion about some particular issue, is: “What if you’re wrong?” “What if that’s not who they really are inside?” I don’t always succeed in doing this and certainly wish I was much better at it. But I do know, Kindness Matters!