A Possible Package Deal

Jed MacKay's decided to have Tigra and Moon Knight, well, "date" feels like a weird word to use. I don't know if they'll be going to dinner or movies, but it doesn't seem like it's strictly a sex thing, either. Marc's already been coming over for movie and snack time with Tigra and her son, those could sort of be dates.

Whatever. I'm generally ambivalent about the development. I would worry MacKay's setting Tigra up to get badly injured so Marc can become full of vengeance again, but a romantic relationship's not required for that. Moon Knight sealed that clay guy up in an airtight steel drum and buried him alive in concrete, and that was just for abducting and impersonating his psychiatrist. Still, I was fine with Tigra wanting to be there to watch out for her friend, no other feelings involved or necessary.

But, we've got what we've got (until the next writer ignores it.) My question now is, how does this work with the system the guys have? Meaning, what are Jake and Steven's feelings about this relationship, or about Tigra in general? What are her feelings about each of them? I'm sure there were times in the West Coast Avengers days where one of those two was at the forefront and spoke with Tigra, but I've never actually seen it. Certainly not in a low-stress situation that didn't involve fighting super-villains.

Reese got to interact briefly with Steven, albeit in a stressful moment where she was trying to keep Marc from murdering someone, and she and Soldier spent some time with Jake when they went to that nightclub. Tigra wasn't involved in either of those, though.

Presumably Tigra understands there will be times Marc's not there, although just based on what's on-page, he's still hogging time as the identity fronting. I feel like Jake is easygoing enough to get along well with Tigra, though I could see him telling off-color jokes around her son and getting himself in trouble that way. Steven I'm less sure about, since I don't know how the circles he's supposed to move in would feel about a were-woman. He's supposed to be high-class, he could manage politeness if nothing else.

Given that Jake mentioned during the boys' conversation in issue 14 that Marc wasn't the only one who loved Marlene, and Marc got rather defensive about that, there could be problems if Steven or Jake fall for Tigra as well. Or maybe the guys are in a healthier balance now. Maybe I'd just like to see her actually interact with either of Steven or Jake, just to see what that's like.

Frustrated Fowl Versus False Futility

When I was reading the most recent issue of West of Sundown, at some point I referred to the banshee as "Death Voice" in my head. I thought that sounded like a pretty good name for a villain.

Obviously there are quite a few super-villains with voice-themed powers. DC even has at least one actual banshee in the Secret Six's Jeanette, plus whatever Silver Banshee is. Marvel has Screaming Mimi (nowadays Songbird), and that Agnar the Screamer guy she used to work with, plus Banshee and Siryn, although they're not typically villains.

But, maybe because I've been rereading Gerber's Howard the Duck recently, I was thinking less in terms of the voice being physically lethal, and more spiritually or intellectually deadly. Maybe someone along the lines of Hate Monger. Except instead of inciting people to violence against those different from them, the person is relentlessly cynical, sarcastic, apathetic. They use their voice to make people feel like trying to do anything would be pointless. Like whatever crime Death Voice is committing is only a tiny symptom of some larger problem which they can't possibly fix.

'Stopping Death Voice from robbing this jewelry store won't do anything to address income inequality, and locking them in prison won't help them get better, so why bother?'

On the one hand, it feels like the sort of villain Captain America defeats with a stirring speech, but I really do like the notion of Howard the Duck running across them and just being really irritated with the whole thing. Here's this crook in about the laziest outfit possible - maybe a grey hoodie that says "Villain" on the front - taking whatever they want because they convince everyone trying to do better is for suckers.

Howard doesn't really want to be mixed up in this, but also hates people trying to manipulate him. He's more than capable of being selfish, but usually tries to do so in a way that doesn't actively harm others, while Death Voice is quite happy to benefit at others' expense.

I don't know if Howard kicks up enough of a ruckus it drowns out Death Voice's power and a crowd of people take D.V. into custody, or if Howard just punches the guy or gal in the face himself.

The Runaways Need One Good Team-Up Experience

I'd like to see the Runaways interact with Squirrel Girl. By which I mean Ryan North and Erica Henderson's version of Squirrel Girl. (Not sure if anyone's used her since Unbeatable Squirrel Girl ended. Kind of curious to see how she's characterized when she does eventually appear.)

Partially because the team seems so insistent that adults have always let them down, it would be nice for them to get at least one data point that didn't confirm to that. I mean, technically they already have a couple, because Cloak and Dagger did intend to help them, but got ambushed and mindwiped by the teams' parents. And Spider-Man was fully intent on helping them until Nico barged in and zapped like she frickin' Electro.

(Nico Minoru: Making the wrong decision every time since 2003.)

That aside, Squirrel Girl's unbeatable so she can't let them down. Although, since she was a freshman or sophomore in college for all of North and Henderson's run, she might not qualify as an adult. That would make her no older than Chase or Nico at this point, but they're playing at being adults.

Besides that, I think Molly getting to team-up with Squirrel Girl would be pretty enjoyable. Finally, someone who would encourage all of Molly's flights of fancy! Doreen thoroughly supported Gabby's plans to dress a wolverine up in fancy suits and let him rampage through cardboard cities she constructed, so yeah, I think she and Molly would get along great.

There is the risk that Doreen's boundless optimism would react with Gert's relentless cynicism like matter and anti-matter, devastating all life for miles around. But that would turn out to be part of some grand contest between the embodiment of Positivity and Negativity, where they see how humanity reacts in such an apocalyptic event, to see which of them is more powerful.

I know, cynicism and negativity are not synonymous. It's a first draft, it just needs some (read: a lot) of workshopping. As long as we all agree the ultimate winner will be Brain Drain's bizarrely hopeful nihilism.

Someone Get Wade "Diplomacy for Idiots"

This is certainly not going to happen now, after Deadpool threw a tremendous fit about perceiving himself as being unwelcome on Krakoa, then doing everything possible to make himself unwelcome, but I want a defensive alliance treaty between Krakoa and Monster Island.

Nothing too complicated, just the standard "I'll help you if someone attacks, you do the same for me." From the little I know about what Hickman's doing, there's been at least one group, if not several, trying to infiltrate Krakoa. An evil Yellowjacket shrank down and hid inside Pyro. Some other guy is sewing mutant skin on himself to read as mutant to the gates, or something. When those things don't work, you know the governments of the world are going to get more scared and overt in their attempts to assert control at some point.

(I almost said more extreme, but when you're stealing skin and hiding tiny people inside other people, you're already getting pretty extreme.)

Wade went to Monster/Staten Island in the first place because he was hired to kill the king of the monsters. So clearly there's hostility there, which isn't going to go away as long as the new residents exist. Especially when one of the inhabitants made their way to the city and killed a couple of people. Deadpool tried to stop him, then killed him when he didn't stop, but you know everyone is going to ignore that. Wade isn't exactly great at not pissing people off, so that's be its own set of problems.

Point being, it's two countries hated and feared by the world at large. Why not be allies? It's like those times when Namor forms alliances with Doom or the Black Panther. It's not as though the other countries of the world are going to be more hostile.

You could argue Deadpool is a terrible person to be publicly allied with, given his tendency to make horrible decisions. This is true! Deadpool frequently either does the wrong thing, or do the right thing in the worst way possible. If Krakoa is allied with Monster Island, and a bunch of demons attack his subjects, so Deadpool kills them, and the demons just happen to take the forms of a bus full of orphans, that's an optics problem.

But 1) Krakoa's only on the hook if someone else starts trouble with Monster Island first, and 2) there are plenty of lunatics on Krakoa who are going to cause some catastrophe eventually. Wolverine, Sabretooth, this new young Cable, Magneto, Mr. Sinister, Mystique, X-23. I could keep going for hours. OK, another two minutes, but they're going to do something, if they haven't already. Krakoa insists they will judge and prosecute any of their subjects who break laws, but I can't imagine that's gonna satisfy everyone the next time Logan figures he has to kill fifty guys because of "honor", or whatever his excuse is this time.

Even if nobody on either island does something, the rest of the world will find an excuse. Look at what they did to Cable when he founded Providence. He allowed basically anyone to move there, as long as they agreed to be nonviolent, offered clean renewable energy sources, and encouraged democracy in countries that asked for assistance. The rest of the world tried to burn his island to the ground. Even if Krakoa and Monster Island export free cancer cures and hugs, they're still on a bullseye. Might as well have one friend.

Oh well, this is why you don't let Deadpool visit other countries unattended.

Only Swashbuckling Nightcrawler Can Lift My Spirits Now

It continues to annoy me that Marvel (or Jonathan Hickman, whichever) went to the trouble of making a pirate-themed X-Men book, and didn't include Nightcrawler in the cast. He's the most pirate-enthusiastic X-Man there is!

Hmm, maybe Kitty was enforcing a strict dress code for her crew and Kurt wanted to show too much fur. Could make it difficult for anyone to concentrate on what they're supposed to be doing. Looks like Kurt raided King Conan's wardrobe or something.

As far as I know, the book is all about Kitty and her crew running around rescuing mutants who can't make it Krakoa and similar positive acts. Kurt wouldn't even have to be bummed out about doing some of the more historically accurate pirate stuff that he was reminded of when he was on that pirate crew in his 1980s mini-series.

Plus, Kurt wouldn't want to lend his friend Kitty a helping hand with the swashbuckling? I mean, who's she got on that crew? The new Pyro? Iceman? Boring. I have no idea what he's doing currently on Krakoa. It didn't seem like he had a lot of pressing business based off that one-shot I bought at the end of March. Might as well enjoy the some sea air and do something useful.

Science Against Magic, Villain Style

So I was re-watching Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes, and thinking about how Kang is treated as the mid-season threat, but Loki is the end boss of Season 1. Setting aside that I don't know if I buy Loki as a bigger threat than Kang, it got me thinking about science villains versus magic villains.

What I was trying to think of was times where the heroes are caught between a science-based villain and a magic-based one. Fights between villains aren't that unusual, especially the gang boss types, but those are like against like. Guys with guys and knives against other guys with guns and knives.

But it doesn't seem like you see it as much with the bigger, top-tier threat villains, where there might be more variety in their approaches. Lex Luthor doesn't throw down against Mordru. Thanos doesn't decide to make Shuma-Gorath look like a total chump.

Maybe that's because the respective goals of villains like that are dissimilar enough they don't end up at cross-purposes. Or their goals are the same, but the routes they take leave them unaware of each other. Or that magic villains, while less numerous, tend to be treated as bigger threats, partially because their powers are treated as strange and mysterious, even to other villains.

The closest I could come to of a big fight between magic and science villains was really only referred to in passing during Abnett and Lanning' Guardians of the Galaxy run. When it turns out the Kang (and a bunch of Starhawks from across universes) are in a war against the Magus and the Universal Church of Truth. Even then, I'm not sure the UCT qualified as magic-users. All their powers and weapons seemed powered by "faith", but is that just an alternative energy source?

I feel like Captain Marvel (the Shazam! one) would have the rouge's gallery for that kind of battle. You have the science types like Sivana or Mister Mind, and the magic types like Black Adam or the Seven Deadly Sins. Sure, they could just team-up and fight the Big Red Cheese, but these guys all have egos. It doesn't seem that out of the question one of them would decide the others are in the way and try to crush them.

Everyone Can Use Friendly Ear Sometimes

In the same vein as last Wednesday's post, I had an idea about two characters I would have liked to see interact at some point. In this case, it's Peter David's "earth angel" version of Supergirl, and Reverend Craemer.

Craemer served as chaplain at Belle Reve, and later wound up as a sounding board for spiritual matters to Jim Corrigan, aka the Spectre. So he has experience with both erratic, violent personalities, and aspects of a supreme being combined with a human soul that are struggling to figure out what they're supposed to do. In The Spectre, he was eventually given the boot from the Catholic Church because he wouldn't toe the party line when it came to his sermons. He seemed open to varied conceptions of God and other faiths, so I doubt Linda being an earth angel is gonna faze him.

Plus, once you've been crucified by an out of control Spirit of Vengeance, an angry lady with telekinesis and fire wings maybe doesn't seem so terrifying. To say nothing of having to deal with Amanda Waller.

From Linda's perspective, she could have used the support of someone with a little more background in religious matters she could trust. Buzz is giving her some information, but he's a chaos demon or whatever. Not trustworthy. You've got Wally, the little kid who claims to be God, but he's being mysterious and vague a bunch of the time. Nobody has time for that bullshit. Most of her superhero acquaintances aren't much help, and if she's around them, then there's probably a crisis to deal with. Linda's friends don't know anything about what's going on.

Her mother's faith waxed and waned, to the point it seemed Linda was usually trying to prop it up, rather than being able to get support from it herself. Which has a big part of Supergirl's issues, everyone pinning their hopes and faith on her, leaving her to try and live up to it, without anyone she could lean on. Craemer seems like someone that would have at least tried to keep her from being too hard on herself, keep her from beating up on herself for not being able to help everyone, which might have kept her from losing hope. If nothing else, he can point out she never wiped out an entire country like the Spectre did. So how bad can she be doing, really?

Catching Up with Your Ex at Their New Job

I had this thought for no apparent reason on Sunday, so here it is.

The Black Cat used to date Flash Thompson back in the '90s. Initially as a way to annoy Spidey, because she was pissed he married Mary Jane. Even though Felicia and Spidey were on the outs with each other over something to do with the Foreigner (never really been clear what that guy's deal is.)

The parts of the Felicia/Flash relationship I remembered were mostly in Amazing Spider-Man. Felicia gradually developing real feelings for Flash. Helping Spidey out on more than one occasion and rebuilding her friendship. Actually finding some sort of neutral ground with Mary Jane (although the one time I saw Felicia and Aunt May interact May was not friendly. Got the speech balloon with the icicles and everything.)

What I couldn't remember was how it ended. I just knew that at some point their relationship stopped being a subplot. The magic of the Internet reveals Felicia actually proposed to Flash, and he turned her down, and revealed her knew she was the Black Cat all along. Which doesn't really surprise me. She was arrested at least once, even if she was able to fake her way into a psychiatric hospital instead of prison.

Still, I was thinking it would have been interesting if Felicia had crossed paths with Flash again during that stretch where he was Venom. I don't know a whole lot about Flash's stint with the symbiote, other than he was working for the government, and joined the Secret Avengers, then later the Guardians of the Galaxy. For part of that stretch, Felicia was in her ill-conceived "crimelord" phase, but that could work. I'm not sure how likely the federal government would be to care about organized crime wars in Marvel's New York, but they're probably more likely to send Flash after that than a thief, since Felicia doesn't spend a lot of time stealing government secrets.

I'm not sure what I'd expect from it. Surprise on Felicia's part, and more than a little wariness considering the poor experiences she had with symbiotes back in the '90s. Little hard for me to picture Flash letting her off the hook like Spider-Man so often did. At the same time, though, Felicia would know the symbiote's weaknesses.

Flash had always admired Spider-Man, and when they had him lose his legs in the army after Brand New Day, he mentioned Spidey was his inspiration for joining the military. Now he's the costumed hero, fighting super-villains. If Felicia's being her usual thief self, then she's continuing to follow the example of the person she admired most, her father. If she's a crime boss, then you can play up how she's gone off in an entirely different direction, gotten away from who she was for a long time.

The Wall in the Big House

Back during the original John Ostrander Suicide Squad run, there's a point three years in where everything collapses. Waller's pissed off a lot of people, by only pretending to surrender control of the Squad. She underestimated Lashina and as a result, her niece died on Apokoplis.

The Squad was being shut down, and their was a plot involving cocaine that turns people into zombies that needed stopping, so Waller grabbed the last three Squad members left - Deadshot, Poison Ivy, and Ravan - and went and dealt with. By killing people. Then she let those three escape, and surrendered herself to the authorities. She spends a year in prison until Batman and that doofus Sarge Steel show up needing her help.

Here's what I'm wondering: What did Amanda Waller get up during that year?

I can't picture Waller just sitting around waiting. I'm pretty sure she accepted going to jail because she thought she deserved it for what happened to Flo, and probably also Rick Flag, and the other decent people that had gotten chewed up and spit out by the Squad.

But clearly she's reached some kind of peace with that by the time Steel came around, because she's ready to get out. She has this whole idea of the Squad being autonomous and for hire already mapped out and ready to go. That wouldn't have taken all her time, and I can't picture Amanda Waller being one to just sit around and do nothing.

Did she spend a lot of time reading? Write angry poetry about government bureaucrats and Captain Boomerang? Did she make any friends? I could see Amanda Waller taking an interest in some younger inmate and trying to help them get a degree or something. I think she pushed her kids to try and succeed, she might want to help guide someone younger away from a bad end. Did she make the warden's life hell until he got them better food? (Now I'm picturing Waller as some combination of Andy Dufrense and Hogan from Hogan's Heroes.)

She had to have gotten into at least one fight. Someone would have been dumb enough to look at Waller and think she was easy pickings. Even if the knew who she was, they probably figure she's nothing without a bunch of super-criminals to boss around.

Squirrels, Samurais, and Shapeshifters

Looking at Ratatoskr in the most recent issue of Unbeatable Squirrel Girl, I commented he looked more goofy than menacing, that his weird, bulging eyes reminded me of early Daffy Duck. I can easily picture him going "whoo hoo hoo hoo" and running around crazily.

But there's another character that Ratatoskr's design reminded me of, at least a little. One more sinister than Daffy Duck.

It's probably the flame patterns around the eyes. Aku, the main villain of Samurai Jack. His color scheme is mostly black, with some red and green (plus the whites of his eyes). Ratatoskr has more orange because of that mane, but otherwise, mostly black, with green and orange.

They're both shapeshifters. Aku's never become a squirrel to my knowledge - he usually prefers larger, more dangerous creatures - but he's become gnawing mammals before. Usually when Jack has hacked him down to almost nothing. After this most recent issue of Squirrel Girl, they've both disguised themselves as women to team-up with the hero*.

 I was initially thinking they'd make an interesting villain team-up, but thinking about it, you'd run into the same set of problems that have led to Ratatoskr teaming up with Squirrel Girl. Ratatoskr loves chaos. Aku wants the entire world subservient to him. Not a whole lot different from what Malekith is trying.

But there is a difference. Aku wants everyone to remember who is in charge, to bring him tribute, kiss his butt and so on. But he's not omnipotent, and he's not meddling everywhere. Jack had plenty of adventures that did not involve Aku at all. Demons, aggressive gorilla clans, mechanical cannibals, on and on. There is still a lot of chaos, still struggle, strife, and mayhem all over the world that Aku has no apparent involvement with. Because Aku doesn't perceive it as impacting him from his perch as King of the World.

If Ratatoskr could be convinced that the world would become boring if "the Samurai" succeeds in returning to his own time and destroying Aku, I could see the Squirrel Chaos God getting involved. If nothing else, Ratatoskr might really enjoy messing with Jack. More likely to trick innocent people into attacking Jack, recognizing Jack won't strike back at them. Or maybe just follow Jack around like his version of the Cheshire Cat. Act annoying, place obstacles in his path, but do things that lead Jack to people in danger, or help him to achieve a goal every once in a while. Just enough to confuse him as to what is going on with this strange, giant squirrel (that will not shut the hell up). It's too powerful and clever for him to kill it, maybe he shouldn't even try to kill it. It did help him that one time with *insert particular instance of help*.

Doreen and her friends could eventually arrive to help and/or confuse Jack even more. A relentlessly upbeat girl who talks to squirrels, a talking brain in a jar on a robot body, Koi Boi and his relentless awful fish puns. Although Jack's seen stranger things than a brain in a robot body. Actually, I doubt Jack would react all that much to any of them. He's seen so much since being thrown to the future, this crew wouldn't rank in the top 100 weird things he's encountered. But there could still be problems if they show up and try to fight Ratatoskr when he's in the middle of helping Jack. Things would probably calm down pretty quickly, though. Shortest misunderstanding fight ever.

* Although Aku only did that so Jack would lead him to yet another possible way home for the samurai, so Aku could keep it away from Jack. Doreen should probably watch her back.

The Mini-Series Everyone (Meaning Me) Wants

If Marvel is going to insist on there 12-issue mini-series set in that "Old Man (insert name)" universe, they could at least give us "Unbeatable Old Lady Squirrel Girl". I'd buy that, depending on the creative team. Meaning Ryan North as writer, at minimum. Maybe the Guruhiru team on art. It'll be the brightest, most adorable post-apocalyptic landscape ever! Or, since the end of the most recent issue says they averted that fate, it's just set in a generally pleasant, non-apocalyptic future landscape. Whichever.

It would be odd for an allegedly "unbeatable" hero to be in a post-apocalyptic landscape. If they let the apocalypse happen, not so unbeatable, right (Not counting them landing there from the distant past or an alternate dimension)? Unless it's because of something like climate change instead of super-villains. That's a bit out of Doreen's wheelhouse. It could depend on time scale. If Doreen, Nancy, and the others turn things around in the end, it becomes a matter of losing the battle but winning the war.

As far as the arch-foe, it has to be Doom, doesn't it? Squirrel Girl's first super-villain (excluding Kang's time travel hijinks), trying to settle things with her again at the end. You can throw other problems in there, of course:

 - Loki making his inevitable reversion to villainy (or is he?), probably because he disagreed with a decision Nancy made in her Cat Thor fanfic. Will Nancy consider revising her story in the face of Loki spamming the comment section?

- The Ultron plant they brought back from the Savage Land and placed in Doreen's parents' yard is going through a rough adolescence/evolution. Can Doreen connect with a hip young artificial intelligence teen (that is probably evolved into a squirrel by this point?)

- Kraven's taking the "hunter of hunter" things a bit far, and is stalking bargain-hunters. Spider-Man's on his case again, and everybody is just really grumpy about having to deal with this again. As it turns out, Kraven's not happy about being alive again (I'm assuming he's gonna figure out some way to get killed in that "Hunted" story that's running in Amazing Spider-Man), and trying to get out any which way he can.

- Maybe Mary makes her eventual break towards super-villainy, weaponized Brain Drain's nihilism, and it's infecting the others. Koi Boi can't even bother to make fish puns any more!

And so on, and so forth.

The Dragon and the Dog In Deep Space

Has Cosmo the Spacedog, head of security at Knowhere, ever met Lockheed, the little purple dragon that ran around with Kitty Pryde for years?

Kitty was on the Guardians of the Galaxy for a hot minute there, or at least hanging out with them when she was dating Star-Lord. But, I don't remember if a) Lockheed went with her, or b) if they ever visited Knowhere during that stretch. The only thing I do remember is Kitty rescuing Star-Lord by dressing up as a giant banana and teleporting onto a ship chanting to terrify his guards. Or something like that. Her in a banana costume definitely happened.

I would think Lockheed would have gone with her, since I recall he kept a pretty close on Pete Wisdom when she was dating him. Tormented him might be more accurate, really. But there was also that whole thing where Lockheed worked for Agent Brand as part of SWORD, so he could have been occupied with that. Though if he's working with Earth's interstellar security division, he could have encountered Cosmo on his own through that.

Or you can always go the retcon route and say the two of them met back in the distant past, before either of them got to where they are now. We still never have found out what Cosmo's life was like before he wound up at Knowhere. . .

It could be an interesting team-up. Rocket and Cosmo always have issues. Partially because Cosmo is fairly straightforward law enforcement, while Rocket is more of a merc. Rules and laws are not something to uphold so much as inconveniences to get around while getting the job done. Plus, there's some natural antipathy because one's a dog and one's a raccoon (no matter what he says).

Dogs and dragons are not typically adversaries, and Lockheed is not as morally grey as Rocket. Although that's dependent on which version of Rocket we're talking about. Lockheed has to have a bit of the freewheeling rulebreaker in him, if only because you can't hang out with the X-Men for too long without developing that willingness to say, "Fuck it, we're doing this thing." Even Cyclops has that impulse sometimes. Overall, Lockheed's a bit more chill than Rocket, easier to get along with, probably more trustworthy.

It wouldn't be a team-up based on friction between the two, just seeing them play off each other and stop some smugglers of a population-eradicating bacterial plague, or a would-be assassin from disrupting a peace summit.

Chaos Should Be Less Predictable

This isn't a new complaint, but for all the talk of the Joker being an "agent of chaos" or whatever we're meant to believe he is, he just keeps coming back to killing lots of people. The methodology might change, but where it ends doesn't. It's not much of a joke if the punchline is always, "and then they died."

I would just like to see the Joker doing random stuff sometimes. Batman's cruising along in the ol' Batmobile, stops at a red light ('cause he obeys traffic laws when not in hot pursuit), and the Joker runs out and throws a pie over his windshield. Made of glue, so Batsy can't easily clear it off. Then he just leaves, having mildly inconvenienced Batman.

Or one of the Bat's other rogues is on the loose, and the Joker drops him off in front of a police station. Alive. Not even because he doesn't want Mr. Zsasz or Riddler or whoever killing Batman, but just for the hell of it. Because that's what he felt like doing when he woke up that day.

Eventually, You Get A 12-Person Villain Team

While "Octobliterator" is a good name for an angry octopus out to destroy the surface world, I think it also has potential for someone out to destroy everything associated with the month of October. It's also possible they could be using the power of October to attack others, but I'm sticking with the first interpretation.

So, Octobliterator. Probably loves hot weather and dreads the emergence of crisp falls days. Hates the changing of the leaves' colors. Hates Halloween. Hates the presence of pumpkin spice all over the damn place. Doesn't like corn mazes. Umm, what else is Octoberish? I tried looking up October holidays but there were like 500 of them and hell if I'm going to read through all those in an attempt to make up bad jokes.

You can go bizarrely comical with the idea. Have the Octobliterator trying to paint all the leaves green, or drive a giant combine through the corn maze from the entrance directly to the center. Dig up fields of pumpkins and plant summer squash. Or inundate the fields so they just aren't suitable for pumpkins. Maybe the Octobliterator is the one getting Christmas stuff into the stores earlier and earlier, in an attempt to squeeze out Halloween entirely. He or she (or they? perhaps it's an entire squad of Octobliterators) certainly give out travel-sized toothpaste things at Halloween. You wouldn't think they'd even celebrate it, but if they can't destroy it entirely, they'll take the opportunity to ruin the night for as many children as possible.

Or, go more serious. Octobliterator tries to delay the leaves changing by making the planet warmer (not that he or she would need to do much there), or by tilting the Earth's axis so the seasons vanish and plants don't have to respond to diminishing sunlight. Breed an insect that eats pumpkins, or introduce something into the air which makes the entire population allergic to pumpkin spice*. Open an impossible corn maze, wait until a bunch of people are in it, then light it on fire. Make people think they're super unsafe. Or get people in there and turn it into Murderworld.

* One of the Sinister Six stories back in the '90s involved Doc Ock releasing some compound into the atmosphere that would make it deadly for anyone to use cocaine, unless they got the antidote. Which only he had. So he could basically extort all the wealthy, coke-addicted '80s businessmen. Except the compound also would eat a hole in the ozone layer.

Do Cats Wanna Mess With Hawks?

One solicitation I didn't mention in Monday's post was another of DC's crossovers with the Looney Toons. Catwoman's going to get dragged into helping Sylvester, which is going to push Tweety to drag a bird-themed hero in as backup. Which is then going to escalate into a full cats vs. birds thing.

Given this is Gotham we're talking about, the bird-themed hero is probably Robin. Which Robin, I don't know. Hard to see Damian coming to the rescue of an annoying baby bird. But my first instinct, when I read 'bird-themed hero' was Hawkman. Or more accurately, it was , "Aw shit, not Hawkman. He's terrible."

Then I started wondering if Catwoman has ever tangled with Hawkman. An (extremely) brief Google search didn't turn up anything. Considering she likes to steal stuff, especially old rare stuff, and Hawkman is sometimes an archaeologist, and therefore works around a lot of old stuff, it seems like they would have crossed paths. Also Catwoman enjoys messing with Batman, because he's sometimes a gruff asshole, and annoying people like that is fun (see also: Deadpool and Cable). Hawkman is an even gruffer asshole, so tweaking him would possibly be pretty fun.

Of course, you catch Hawkman on the wrong day - or wrong incarnation - and instead of tossing a net over you, he's trying to cave your skull in with a mace. That might be a little too much risk for the payoff.

Throw Something A Little Crazy At The Defenders in Season 2

TNT's been showing Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance occasionally in recent weeks. It's still an interesting mess of a movie. Some parts are crazy fun, just embrace the absurdity of a demon stunt biker with a flaming skull, and other parts are just dull or a mess (most of these are the parts when Nicholas Cage's head isn't on fire).

I enjoy how odd the Rider acts. The odd swaying, the gestures, the unpredictability. Looking at it from the outside, you're left wondering (like the people around him) what the hell is going on. It plays up the idea this something not human, reacts and thinks and moves differently from us. To the extent Johnny's still an active presence in there at all, hell he's half-crazy from dealing with this thing, which doesn't help matter. Dude with a flaming skull for a head who appears unaffected by bullets is strange enough without him acting so weird. It would have to be unnerving to encounter.

With that in mind, I'd like it, assuming Marvel does a second season of Defenders, if Ghost Rider could show up. He can be a threat, an ally, first one then the other, total wild card, whatever. I'm not sure what brings him to town. I'd like it to be something specific, rather than a general "there's a lot of sinners to take vengeance on" approach. That risks veering too close to Matt's struggles with the Punisher in Season 2 of Daredevil. That can be a side angle, a swath the Rider is cutting through town as he pursues his primary goal, and what gets some members of the team involved. I could see Iron Fist jumping at investigating reports of a guy with a flaming skull. Maybe Daredevil, if he gets out of that convent. Luke and Jessica, probably not.

Mephisto might be a bit out of this group's weight class. Maybe something related to the Book of the Darkhold? Or bring the Hood in, as an initially small-timer moving up with strange powers. He's being used by some darker force in exchange for power, not that he knows he's a pawn necessarily. Not a guy who made a deal with the Devil like Johnny, but maybe not too far off. . .

I think of the Defenders as a group that deals with weird shit, even by superhero comic standards. Usually due to proximity to Dr. Strange, but even when he isn't around, they encounter some bizarre things. Luke and Jessica seemed so reluctant to believe in immortal ninjas, dragons, and people coming back from the dead, it'd be fun to watch them try to wrap their heads around this. Think about how many times Jessica can roll her eyes in aggravation about how stupid this is! Or see Danny run out in the street and try to stop the Rider with one punch (maybe if Luke's behind him helping to brace him he won't end up a smear on the road). Let good Catholic boy Matt Murdock meet an actual demon (or fallen angel, whatever).

I think they had the Robbie Reyes Ghost Rider on Agents of SHIELD. I don't know how that played out, or how he was presented, so I don't know if that would give me what I'm looking for. If it would, sure go with Robbie. Although it's probably easier to drive a motorcycle around New York than a car, even a really awesome car with flaming tires.

The Unstoppable Force Meets Doom's Will

I would like to see Dr. Doom have to contend with the Juggernaut. I'd prefer a more classic Doom than the one currently cosplaying as Iron Man, but take what you can get, I suppose.

It doesn't seem hard to bring the two together. Doom's knowledge of magic could lead him to try and take the Ruby of Cytorrak to use as a power source. Which could in turn get him in hot water with Cytorrak himself, leading to some sort of team-up between Doom, the Juggernaut, and Dr. Strange (who doesn't want Earth getting destroyed because Doom went and pissed off an extra-dimensional being).

Or I could see Doom trying to hire or manipulate Juggernaut into attacking someplace. Probably not to acquire something Doom wants, because I doubt he'd trust the Juggernaut not to break it. Plus, even if the authorities couldn't stop Juggernaut, they could follow him pretty easily, and Doom probably wants more plausible deniability. If Doom tries to double-cross Juggy, or blames him for screwing something up, there's the conflict.

The other option was for Juggernaut to simply come barging into Latveria because it happens to be along the most direct line to get to wherever he wants to go. How does Doom handle that? Direct confrontation? A trap? Does he try to divert Juggernaut, convince him to take a different route? Would he try to protect his subjects, or would he decide the risk of being humiliated was too great and simply stay home, monitoring the situation? There's a decent argument to be made the best option with Cain Marko is to keep his path clear and not get him riled up. Don't give him an excuse to start smashing through things, and, assuming he's most concerned with getting where he's going, he probably won't start anything to delay himself. On the other hand, if Doom lets this guy just barge into his country, stomp through it as he pleases, and walk right out the other side, that could make him look pretty bad. Not just to the Latverians, but possibly the larger international community. "Doom can't protect his borders," they might whisper.

Although given how often the Fantastic Four come barging in, they might be saying that anyway. But Doom pretty much always makes the attempt to stop the accursed Richards and his allies. Not even trying to might convey a different message.

You could still do a variation on this in his current status, with Doom coming across the Juggernaut (whoever that is at the moment) causing trouble somewhere and stepping in to try and put a halt to it. Is he focusing on protecting innocents in the line of fire, or in confronting the threat? What kind of plan can he come up with to win the day (if he can)? Magic, or science, or money? In the old days, I could see Doom possibly trying to quietly buy Cain Marko off if he was losing the fight (I can't see him resorting to that until after he's started fighting him, even though offering him some money and a ride to the next country would be the quickest, quietest solution).

Heck, maybe Doom can pull it off. If anyone has the combination of will, smarts, and resources to stop the unstoppable, it's Dr. Doom.

Escalation Will Bring It To This Point Eventually

Yesterday a coworker and I started discussing the upcoming 8th Fast & the Furious movie. I can't remember what prompted it, but we got into talking about the constant search for new ridiculous sequences - from tanks, to massive cargo planes, to jumping between skyscrapers, now fighting a submarine - compared to where it started. My coworker mentioned it started to get really crazy once they added the Rock, and I mentioned they added Jason Statham*.

So my coworker said he wished they put Statham in as his character from The Transporter films, do an official crossover. I said sure, Automotive Movie Shared Universe, and let's throw in the Mad Max films***.

Then he suggested adding in Cars, which in retrospect, I don't know. We're going to give the cars sentience with the crazy stuff these characters put them through? Lightning McQueen was capable of feeling pain, right? But at the time I said, in that case we should throw in the Transformers movies to which, was a terrible idea, no reason to taint these other franchises with a Wahlberg.

Still, putting Dom and his family against a bunch of sentient machine-based lifeforms that are also ancient engines of destruction would also qualify as the next logical step in the series.

Maybe "logical" isn't the right word.

* I found myself rooting for him in the last movie, even though he was the bad guy, because he's fighting Vin Diesel and the Rock, and those guys are way bigger than him. I mean, the Rock is like three times bigger than Statham, it's hard not to root for the relatively little guy up against the dude with a bicep the size of Montana, even if the little guy did start it**.

** Assuming that you don't buy, "You killed my brother while stopping his various criminal enterprises" as a valid justification for Statham's character's actions.

*** Which came to mind because The Ringer had an article up about their suggestions for the next four films in the Fast & Furious series, and while I didn't bother to read the article, the image they had to accompany the link was of Vin Diesel and Charlize Theron as Furiosa from Fury Road.

A Different Sort Of Twisted Reflection

I wish Tim Roth's Abomination had survived the Incredible Hulk movie. Maybe he did, but I've always assumed Hulk broke his neck or strangled him with that chain at the end. Regardless, he hasn't made a return appearance since. Mostly I wanted him to encounter Captain America.

Ross initially pumped Blonsky full of an incomplete knockoff version of the Super-Soldier Serum, but beyond that, Blonsky is what Erskine was afraid of, what would have been the result if Colonel Phillips had his way and somehow got Gilmore Hodge chosen as the subject. Erskine feared giving more power to someone accustomed to it, that they wouldn't have any respect for what they could do with it. They'd regard everyone else as lesser, weaker beings to abuse as they saw fit. Here's Blonsky, used to being the baddest, toughest guy on the block, but fearing not only the loss of some of that prowess due to age, but also to being completely outclassed by this big, green monster.

Him taking the knockoff serum is understandable, since at the time he was going to be confined to a hospital bed for the rest of his likely short, certainly painful existence. But once he had it, saw what it could do for him, and saw that it still wasn't enough to stop Hulk, he wanted more. And once he had that, the world was a playground, something to smash and destroy as he saw fit until he could find a proper challenge.

Blonsky isn't Johann Schmidt. He doesn't have larger aspirations of ruling the world, any more than Steve Rogers does. Still, he might take orders from anyone, or attack anyone, simply for the chance to test his power, prove his superiority. A super-soldier with no interest in serving, or helping anyone but himself*. The Abomination is trashing a city, Captain America, or whatever Steve is going to call himself now, shows up with his team trying to figure out who Blonsky is working for and what the goal is. And the answers are "No one and nothing," Blonsky just wanted to draw out some Avengers to see if they could give him a challenge. Maybe the Hulk would show up and he'd get a rematch. Let Cap contend with someone who isn't working to some greater, awful goal. It would at least be a good starting point, if someone had perhaps suggested to Blonsky where he should try causing a disturbance.

Also, considering how Thunderbolt Ross berated Captain America for not keeping Hulk and Thor locked up, it'd be nice for the monster he stupidly created to show up and start wreaking havoc.

* To a certain extent, Frank Grillo's Brock Lumlow becoming Crossbones could have filled this role as well, although he did have an ideology he acted in service of. Irrelevant since they put him on screen for five minutes then blew him up in Captain America: Civil War.

I'd Fire The Announcers Too.

I watch wrestling sometimes, or read about it online. The strange characters and stories, plus the incredible things they can do, it's really entertaining, sometimes. I might go months without paying any attention, then follow it raptly for a few weeks. Depends on which wrestlers are getting to have a good showing at the time.

I haven't ever bought a wrestling video game. Considered it, but the games never seem to get the fighting right. Which is admittedly tricky. You can't really do it simply like a regular fighting game, where there's a health bar you wear down until they collapse. You need to be able to incorporate characters getting squashed, characters winning by the surprise roll-up, or else hitting their finishing move out of nowhere. That seems to be hard to do.

But the execution of sports games not quite working out how I pictured is not a new disappointment. But I still manage to find enjoyment with some of them by messing with rosters. I spent a lot of time on NBA Courtside just seeing what would happen if I took the top two scorers off each team. Or building baseball teams with fast guys at every position on Major League Baseball featuring Ken Griffey Jr. With a wrestling game, I'd really like to be able to fire certain wrestlers. Just take them off the board entirely. Since I can't be rid of the possibility of Randy Orton showing up on TV to bore the hell out of me, it would be nice to create that circumstance in a game, at least. Just have the roster full of only wrestlers I actually like. It wouldn't be enough if the actual wrestling was still a mess, but it'd be a nice feature to have.