They Say Running can be Beneficial to Your Health

One of the many, many things I don't understand about physics is the idea of time moving more slowly as you go faster. That whole bit about how, if you traveled to the nearest star and back at the speed of light, it would be 8 years for you, but some thousands of years for people back on Earth. Doesn't make any sense to me at all.

But, if I'm accepting that's true, and for the purposes of this post I might as well, would that mean the various Flashes should live an exceptionally long time, at least from their friends' perspectives?

There's a lot of DC heroes that seem to live a long time. Superman's living in the heart of the Sun for however long, Martian Manhunter's still alive in the 853rd Century, The Shade is still around in the 30th, at bare minimum. There's always a damn Hawkman around, and Dr. Fate's helmet.

The Flashes, though, they time travel a lot, or get lost in the Speed Force. But it feels like we're more likely to see them aging faster because of some side effect of all the super-speed, rather than slower. (Maybe I'm just thinking of Barry Allen withering away in Crisis on the Infinite Earths.) But if they spend a bunch of time moving at near-light speeds, even only for a few seconds at a time, then much more time than that should have passed for everyone else when Barry or Wally slow back down again.

This seems like it would negate the advantage of super-speed now that I think of it. You got someplace instantaneously, but somehow a whole bunch of time still passed. I'm probably thinking of it cock-eyed.

31 Days of Scans - Favorite Rogues Gallery

This one may surprise you. Or maybe it won't, if you've seen the complaints I level against a lot of villains in stories these days. For Favorite Rogues Gallery, I'm going with. . .

The Rogues themselves!

I considered the Bat-villains, and while I do enjoy the Riddler, and some of the other guys off and on (Gail Simone wrote a good Bane, though he wasn't being much of a Bat-foe at the time), it feels like there's too much focus on body counts with them these days.

There are more than a couple of Spider-Man villains I like, but Norman kind of got killed from overuse, and a lot of them are so hellbent on revenge these days that it's kind of a turn off. Plus, there was this panel from Deadpool Annual #2 last year, and it's kind of hard to argue with Wade's assessment.

It isn't that you can apply those labels to the Rogues as well. Some of them kill, they can get fixated on revenge on the Flash, and Wally (sigh, or Barry, I suppose) can use the "champion against dumb" line themselves pretty easily (Guy with cold gun, guy with hot gun, weather magician, April Fools' Bro, Aussie stereotype).

Some of this is confirmation bias. I've never bought The Flash on a regular basis, so I'm mostly going off what I see on the Internet, which is mostly people gushing about how cool the Rogues are. That they aren't out to conquer the world, or drown the streets in blood, they just want to make a little bank. They aren't normally after the Flash's head, but if he shows up to interrupt their latest heist, sure, they'll take their best shot at kicking his teeth in. It's not personal, though. Even if they aren't bosom chums, there is a certain amount of respect and camaraderie among them, provided you don't violate any of their rules. If you do that, they'll probably kill you, because bad guys, but otherwise, sure, let's hang out and drink beers together.

Every so often, somebody does a story about Spidey villains hanging out in a bar drinking, but by and large, even when they have a team-up, they aren't really pals. Doc Ock was always betraying the rest of the Sinister Six, or strongarming them into helping him, or turning the Sandman into glass and breaking him. It's not a prerequisite for the villains to get along, but it's a particular quirk of the Rogues that I enjoy.

Also, Captain Boomerang was one of the (many) wonderful things about Suicide Squad, so the Rogues earn bonus points for counting him as a member. I suppose that Deadshot should be earning bonus points for the Bat-foes on those grounds, but I don't really think of him as a Bat-villain, for whatever reason.

The first panel is from some Blackest Night tie-in, I'm pretty sure. Definitely Scott Kolins on the art, maybe Geoff Johns as writer? The Deadpool-impersonating-Spidey panel is from Deadpool Annual #2, written by Chris Hastings, drawn by Jacopo Camagni, colored by Matt Milla, and lettered by Joe Sabino. Captain Boomerang panel is from Suicide Squad #2, written by John Ostrander, penciled by Luke McDonnell, inked by Karl Kesel, lettered by Todd Klein, and colored by Carol Gafford.

If I'd Botched Things That Badly, I'd Want To Forget Too

Does The Flash remember that he changed everything at the end of Flashpoint? I would guess no, but a quick perusal of Wikipedia suggests he delivered Thomas Wayne's letter to Batman, so clearly he ought to remember something.

It's just, we're a year-and-a-half into the new52, and there's been no sign of the Dibnys. Ralph and Sue were pretty close friends of Barry's, once upon a time. I feel like if I were able to change the entire universe, I would do my damndest to make sure my friends were there when I was done.

I know, they were dead prior to Flashpoint. But Ralph - and presumably Sue, somewhere - were both alive in the Flashpoint universe. How hard is it to make sure that change sticks? He can do some speed thingamajigger to make three universe combine (but somehow is "restoring" the original timeline), but he can't spare a little effort for the Dibnys?

All he had was this Pandora's word that he needed to combine the universes, why go along with her? Why trust someone he doesn't know, who never appeared to help him when he was messing things up in the first place, but who instead as he tries to set things right, and tells him to do something very different from what he was planning? That didn't raise any red flags with Barry, that she had ulterior motives?

I think Hal Jordan's attempt as Parallax to wipe out the universe and start over was better thought out. And when you're being out-thought by Hal Jordan, you know you're in trouble.

What's Marvel's Most Heroic Death?

Here's a question I've been working on for the last few weeks: Does Marvel have a heroic death on the level of Barry Allen's in Crisis on the Infinite Earths?

My first thought was that most of the notable deaths at Marvel were people the heroes failed to save. Uncle Ben, Bucky, Gwen Stacy. Which could relate to marvel being a bit more of a tragic universe than DC, in the same way that DC's future (via the Legion) usually looks pretty good, whereas Marvel's are usually a disaster, whether it's Sentinels, the Badoon (original Guardians of the Galaxy), Martians (Killraven), Apocalypse, whatever.

Then I considered Jean grey's death at the end of the Dark Phoenix Saga. Heroically sacrificing herself to protect her friends and loved ones. Two problems: One, she was trying to protect them from herself. Two, it turned out it wasn't Jean at all. Now I'm not sure the second one should count, since that was a retcon, and not part of the original story. After all, if I'm going to penalize Jean's death for that, I'd have to penalize Barry for coming back in Flash Rebirth or whenever it was he returned*, then penalize him some more for screwing everything up at the end of Flashpoint. Still, the retcon doesn't change the fact that Jean/Phoenix' death was to stop her from destroying everything, which doesn't have quite the same ring to it as saving 5 universes from some other madman.

Looking over some others, Thor died breaking the Ragnarok cycle somewhere around Disassembled, but that seemed notable more for people waiting for him to come back. Reed Richards appeared to die in DeFalco's FF run, but I think most people would rather ignore that. The same could probably be said for the FF and Avengers giving their lives fighting Onslaught, if that's even what happened. I'm not sure, I didn't read Onslaught. Spidey's died a couple of times I know of, once in the '90s Clone Saga, again in The Other, but each death lasted about 5 minutes, and once again, are part of stories most people would rather forget. Captain America died in handcuffs at the end of an incredibly stupid event, until it turned out to have been time bullets he was shot with. The less said about Hawkeye's stupid death in Disassembled, the better. Could probably say the same for Cyclops' death in, what was it, The Twelve?

The one I thought of that might hold was Colossus dying to spread the cure for the Legacy Virus across the globe. It doesn't really seem like it's on the same scale, but it's a deadly external threat (it had begun to mutate to infect non-mutants as well, so he was really saving everyone, potentially), he made the choice willingly, without real prompting, but there was a sense he was kind of eager. Life had worn him down, the death of his sister and all. I think Barry was in the same kind of state, since his murder trial had concluded recently, and even though he was acquitted, it kind of wrecked his life. Still, Jean's big finale is definitely the more cosmic, and more remembered sacrifice, and she was saving people for a potentially malevolent force, even if that force was her.

I suppose Marvel might be at a disadvantage, since they don't reboot their entire line regularly, and thus can't imperil multiple universes at once. Plus, we're all kind of jaded now. They kill someone off, we roll our eyes and wait for their resurrection. Though I feel like a lot of the writers don't know how to build things up so the death actually looks suitably impressive or heroic. It's like they're looking at some "Plot by Numbers" chart and it says "Character Death" so they throw one in.

Beyond that, I wonder if it isn't part of how the Marvel Universe works. There, it's less about the ultimate sacrifice, and more about all the little ones. The X-Men protect a world that hates and fears them. Ben Grimm has to keep becoming an orange rock monster, Spider-Man misses birthdays and rent payments. It isn't that the job kills you (though it might), it's that it costs you in all sorts of little ways.

That's what I've got, but I probably missed a really great death in there somewhere. If you know of one, chime in. Or if you've got an idea about why Marvel wouldn't have one, go for it.

* I don't think those sporadic time-traveling appearance he made during Wally's time as Flash are the same, since they were brief, and they were supposed to predate his big hero death.

Rambling About Kyle And Wally

One of the things I enjoyed about Joe Kelly and Mark Waid's runs on JLA was Kyle Rayner and Wally West's friendship. While most of the team got along well enough, they seemed to be simply coworkers, while those two became buddies. What's nice is that it didn't start out that way, and instead grew over time.

Though it's been months since I read it last, I was thinking about JLA: New World Order, Morrison's opening arc on the book, and Wally's attitude towards Kyle in that one. Wally clearly doesn't like Kyle. When they go to the Hyperclan base in Mongolia, he gives Kyle grief about making him wait - for a whole three minutes. The look Porter gives Wally as he checks his watch seems disgusted rather than gently mocking or anything friendly. I know Wally's often impatient, but I can imagine he'd have done the same it if was J'onn or Diana. When he saves Kyle from the one Hyperclan member who throws his shield at Kyle, Wally hands him some more guff about having to save Kyle twice*. When things turn in favor of the heroes, Wally disses him for beating one of the Hyperclan by dropping a giant green anvil on him. Throughout all this, Kyle's trying to give as good as he's getting verbally, but 'Yeah? Kiss my ring, buddy.' is kind of weak sauce**.

The one that sticks with me is Wally telling Superman he has some problems with this kid calling himself Green Lantern. I'm not sure whether he means he doesn't like someone using the name Green Lantern, or he just doesn't like how this particular person is acting. I could see it either way. Devon Sanders' "Kyle Rayner: Adult!" posts back on Seven Hells! demonstrated Kyle was a dope sometimes (even being chastised for irresponsibility by Impulse once). I could see Wally not approving of how Kyle handles things, thinking he's got no business wielding the most powerful weapon in the universe.

But I wonder if it's more about anyone calling themselves Green Lantern after Hal Jordan's "death". Barry Allen was Wally's uncle, and Hal was Barry's best friend, and if remember that one issue of that Flash/Green Lantern mini-series Mark Waid did, Hal was kind of the "cool uncle" for Wally. While there were other Green Lanterns, at least one of which (Guy) was on a team with Wally, they weren't exactly taking over for Hal, just serving with him. Kyle took on the title after Hal pretty badly tarnished his rep, and didn't seem as though he'd get the opportunity to repair it.

Still, I'd expect Wally to be more understanding of Kyle's situation than most of the League, since he's the only one inheriting his title from someone else***. Maybe that's what helped them become friends later, Wally realizing however much of a goofball Kyle might seem, he does feel the weight he carries with the name Green Lantern. It's not the same weight Wally felt when he became the Flash, with people (including Wally) wondering if he could live up to Barry's legacy, but it's heavy all the same. I find it funny it would take Wally awhile to recognize the similarities in their situations, considering how fast he can think.

* The first time I assume being when the speedster Zum charged at them and Wally lead him off, but it's not like Kyle was twiddling his thumbs during all that. He was fighting two members of the Hyperclan while Wally was off circling the globe.

** Which makes sense. Wally can run though dozens of possible insults in his mind in an instant, before selecting the best one. Kyle has to throw out whichever one insult he can come up with in the same span of time.

*** Diana might also qualify, but I'm not sure if, at the time of New World Order, it had been added to DC lore that Hippolyta was Wonder Woman during World War 2. If so, there are two circumstances I might considering mitigating. One, Hippolyta didn't give up the mantle because she died, and took it up again when needed. Secondly, it's Diana, she's an understanding sort, so she'd recognize Kyle's struggle regardless. Not because she sees a similarity they have, but because that's who she is. Heck, she told Kyle in the first issue he could call her Diana, and she barely knew him then, but he was on the team and she probably figured it was a way to make him feel like he belonged.

Make Brain Go Slow

I recall reading once that Wally West thinks really fast. I believe it was when he found out about the mindwiping that Barry Allen had a hand in, and he was resolutely against it. There was an inner monologue where Wally mentions that he can consider a problem from every angle in less than a second, and so that's why he never changes his mind about things, because you can't bring up a point he hasn't already considered. So, two questions related to this:

1) Is Wally's mind always like that, or is it something he does consciously? So if he's not trying, his thought processes work at the same speed as your average person, but if he feels like it, he could accelerate his thinking. I'm guessing it's the former, though the second would make sense (to me anyway). After all, Wally has to think about it to move his body at super-speed, why not his thoughts?

2) Does it work the same way with Superman? He has super-speed, so can he evaluate situations from all angles in an instant without effort? Or would he have to have to focus on that to do it? With him, I'm betting it's the latter. he seems to forget he has super-speed a lot of times (though that's likely a writer trying to keep Superman from ending a fight or crisis in less than a panel), so I figure it's not as natural for him as it is for Flashes.

Meep-Meep!

So in Infinite Crisis, the Wally and Bart take SuperLoser-Prime. . . somewhere, and the Speed Force vanishes with them. Thus, no one who relied solely on the Speed Force for speed has super-speed anymore. Shortly thereafter, Bart returns from. . . wherever, and the totality of the Speed Force is concentrated within him.

But now Bart is, um, no longer with us. So, does that mean the Speed Force is back to normal? Or has all of it been transferred to Wally?

And if it is back to what it was pre-Infinite Crisis, then we should expect to see young Captain Boomerang exhibiting super-speed again sometime soon, shouldn't we?

I don't know what brought that on exactly, it just sort of popped into my mind. Probably because Boomer seems to get tortured regularly, and he'd like it if he could run swiftly away from the people (or giant eggs) indulging their sadism (sadly, Boomer is never gonna be fast enough to escape Dan Didio).

Randomness - Things I Think About #9

Infinite Crisis #4 left me with two major thoughts/questions.

Barry Allen said he would see Wally three times, when Wally needed him most. Did his appearance against Superboy count as the third time? Becuase I kind of figured Barry meant he would time travel and see Wally, which wasn't really what happened.

Second, I feel much better about the Ray's chances of surviving Infinite Crisis. Alexander Luthor seems at least interested in Power Girl, but he still put her in the machine. This, to me suggests that the machine doesn't kill the people being used to power it. Up till now I figured Ray was screwed under my "If I like them, they're doomed" theory.

Other stuff:

Thief: Deadly Shadows for the Xbox is a lot of fun. Basically, it's Splinter Cell in a medieval setting, which allows for magic and the undead. Plus religious factions you have to do things for, or they try to kill you on sight. Of course if you do enough, they'll have your back if you get attacked around them, which can be handy for escapes. I'm playing the game through a second time, and taking more time to explore, and so getting alot more loot. I'm hoping the upcoming level in the abandoned insane asylum/orphanage is still eerie the second time through. The lighting is great, listening to some of these people when they catch a glimpse of you can be amusing (I got a real laugh out of some drunk guard I spooked this evening. Then after he dropped his guard, I busted him over the head). Just a good time if you're a person into games built on being sneaky. Come on, indulge your inner Catwoman. Whip and leather not included.

Odd thoughts: I was looking up at the sky one night. I see stars. I know there are enough stars out there to cover the sky, but many are too dim or too far away for me to see them. So what I'm wondering is whether or not I'm actually seeing all those stars I see up there, or if my mind is filling in the blanks because it knows the stars are there, even if I can't see them. This feels significant to me somehow, like I'm on the verge of staring over the edge of the universe. Or not.

Sorry, I just didn't feel like talking much about comics today.

Comic Store Conversations - #1

This actually came up about a month ago, but I had to talk to Larry today to make sure I got it all straight.

You know Barry Allen, the second Flash, he who dies during the Crisis on the Infinite Earths? And you know about the Speed Force, that weird extradimensional energy that Wally and Bart and some of the other speedsters can tap into, propelling them to ever more ludicrous speeds (they've gone . . . plaid!)? Well, what if I told you they were one and the same?

See, here we got Barry's famous death scene from CotIE. He's forced the energy within the Anti-Monitor's cannon back in on itself, causing it to go boom, but his own energy has been drawn from him by the cannon. Well, we know the Speed Force is extradimensional and that it exists outside time (Apparently this has been stated some place. I'm just going by what Larry told me). Therefore the explosion of the cannon in the anti-matter universe might have dispersed Barry's energy throughout the DC Universe in both space and time.

Just something that seemed interesting to me. I'd really like to see what would happen if DC heard about this and decided to put that out their as the actual origin of the Speed Force. Probably a huge outcry from the fans. But I can't say it's any worse science than a lot of what's in comics.