Brainstorming Cable's Death

Right before Deadpool trapped him with an MRI, then hacked off his arm, Cable said everyone had a plan to kill Deadpool, and we were going to see his. But let's face it, it would involve dismemberment, and then some combination of acid, concrete, and dumping the remains at the bottom of the ocean. That's everybody's plan to kill Deadpool, except for Marvel, who plan to do it by putting him in too many books and making everyone tired of him.

What I was wondering is, what the people's plans to kill Cable? We haven't seen the end of Wade's yet; I'm hoping it involves more than simply beheading or shooting him. Granting that those are Wade's two favorite ways kill people, he can be more creative than that.

I would suggest going back in time and simply making sure little Nathan Summers Askani Boyardee is never born. You'd think it'd be easy. All it involves is keeping Scott Summers from having sex, and how hard can that be, right? Based on X-Men history, turns out it's surprisingly difficult. Even without Mr. Sinister being the creepiest fan fiction writer ever ("I'm going to introduce a new character who looks just like Jean, but isn't, and Scott will fall in love and marry her and they'll have a baby, and then I'll abduct the baby!")

So that's out. How about a post-hypnotic command, something to exploit Cable's love of pouches? Force him to make sure everything is evenly distributed between all his pouches. What will he do when he has 37 bullets, and 15 bags of trail mix, but 117 pouches? While he's on a run to the store for more junk to even it out, you run him over with a car.

Put a reflective surface in front of him, see if he'll smash into it thinking it's Stryfe, and kill himself like birds do sometimes.

Tell him he loses all his guns in the divorce settlement with Wade and let grief do the rest.

See if you can convince Younger Cable that his older self has been turned to evil by showing him edited highlights, and let them go at it (preferably in a building you filled with explosives, just in case).

And so on.

What are your ideas for inventive ways to kill Cable?

Possibly The Low Point For This Blog

Mark Waid said sometime recently, in regards to his writing Champions, that he could make us like Cyclops. My response would be no, no you can't. Actually, it would be hysterical laughter, then a negative response, probably involving profanity. That said, I am capable of feeling sympathy for Cyclops. I know, I was horrified to learn that as well. The teen version, who gets side-eye looks from everyone because of his older self, but also the older, now deceased Scott Summers.

Because Marvel made a big deal, coming out of Secret Wars, about this horrible, awful thing Scott Summers had done that made everyone hate him. Hate him more than they already did, I mean. Over that whole killing Xavier thing. Which, let's face it, he was possessed by the Phoenix Force when that happened, so he should be getting at least a partial pass for that one.

But Marvel released Death of X, and the answer to the question of what Scott did that was so awful was, apparently, he got a mutant codenamed Alchemy to render one of those Terrigen clouds harmless (though this may have gotten Alchemy killed), and then started to attack Black Bolt, only to be killed by him. Or maybe not even that, since it seems like Emma was making everyone think that's what happened, but Scott may have already been dead from exposure to the cloud.

Hardly seems like something for everyone to throw up their arms about. It doesn't even seem like the Inhumans pulled some p.r. move where they lied about what happened. People just got pissed at Cyclops for convincing someone to help destroy a cloud (one of two) that kills a specific segment of the population. I know humanity has not demonstrated a particularly high level of intelligence this year (or ever, really) but that's pretty damn nonsensical.

But the whole Terrigen Cloud mess is nonsensical. For how panicky, stupid, and generally hateful the average denizen of the Marvel Universe is, they seem remarkably sanguine about Black Bolt just deciding to release this weird cloud on the entire world that alters some people against their will, and kills others, without so much as a by your leave. Where are the calls for giant purple robots who hunt down and kill the Inhumans? Nuhumans, whatever. It's all stupid, but that's not new, and not really what I'm interested in here.

What would have interested me was if Cyclops' actions in Death of X had been a recognition that Black Bolt was making the same mistake Cyclops made. Because for all the things Scott Summers has recently taken shit for which he shouldn't, one thing he should take shit for was his plan in Avengers vs. X-Men. If you'll recall, the plan involved Hope using the Phoenix to make people into mutants, without bothering to ask whether that's what they wanted*. Does that wreck your life, that you now uncontrollably secrete acid from your skin? Well, too bad, Scott Summers decreed you take one for the mutant cause. Who is Scott Summers to make that decision for you? Good question, but sure, "Cyclops was right".

And here's Black Bolt, doing the exact same thing. Deciding he gets to change people's lives without their input, because it suits his purposes. There was a fair amount of discussion online about how Cyclops promised some "revolution" after his actions in AvX, and yet, there was no clear sign what that was. He and the other X-Men with him found some of the new mutants, and tried to train them and look after them. Sounds like business as usual for the X-Men. Even before Black Bolt unleashed a mutant-killing cloud**, what revolution has Scott Summers produced? There were more mutants, but there had been lots more mutants previously. Some of them were putting on costumes, some weren't. Some were doing good, some evil, some just trying to live their life. Some people hated and feared them, others didn't. All Cyclops ultimately accomplished was to make a selfish decision that fucked a bunch of other peoples' lives up.

So he sees Black Bolt's done the same thing, made the same mistake, and he tries to stop it. Black Bolt's is actually worse, because the cloud is actively killing mutants (although I'd imagine there were a few people who were killed by the mutant powers they received courtesy of the Phoenix, but probably not nearly as many). And so Scott tries to stop it, maybe even tries to make Black Bolt and Medusa understand why it needs to be stopped, but failing that, he's going to try and stop yet another person from, well the mistake is already made, but keep them from making it any worse. Stop it from hurting any more people. And maybe that kills him, or Black Bolt just can't see it yet, and he stops Scott. Given that Black Bolt is royalty, used to ordering people around, and the Inhumans historically just do whatever they want, whenever they want, I'm not sure he'll ever understand why he was wrong, but one can still try.



* We'll set aside how the plan only worked after Hope got some training from iron Fist and an assist from the Scarlet Witch, neither of whom were part of Cyclops' plan. In this particular case, we don't need to belabor Cyclops' stupidity in risking the entire planet on his cockamamie scheme. 

** And let's pause here to once again thank Reed Richards for leaving that little gift in the reconstructed Marvel Universe. Great hustle, Reed. Excellent quality control there. I may be too tired to belabor Cyclops' stupidity, but I refuse to pass up a chance to dump on Reed Richards for being a dumbass.

The Summers' Family Tree Can Be Oddly Compelling

The teen versions of the original five X-Men have been in the present day for a few years now (our time). Has anyone done anything with Cable dealing with this? It seems as though bringing the teen version of his father forward in time, while leaving it open-ended whether he ever goes back, thus raising the question of whether he ever falls for Maddy Pryor and a young Nathan Christopher Summers is born, would be of some importance to Cable.

Not that I expect anyone at Marvel to pay any attention to such things anymore, and certainly not to apply any sort of logical consistency to it if they do pay it any mind.

But beyond that, it could be interesting. I've heard Greg Rucka did some good work having teen Cyclops spend time with his dad in the present, bonding over being space pirates. Scott got the chance to reconnect with a father he thought was dead, and Corsair got a chance to actually be a good dad. Older Scott and Cable have had a pretty solid relationship since Scott learned the truth about Cable (and I actually wonder what Cable's made of the decisions his father's made over the last five years).

But they were both grown men by that time. I'd be curious what younger Scott would make of his future self's ability as a father, and whether it would cause him to question his own capabilities. or maybe he'd look at everything Cable survived, and his general dedication to trying to make the world a better place (admittedly usually by shooting things with large guns, but not always), and take that as a good sign.

I also wonder what Cable might want to impart to a younger version of his father. I don't mean in terms of warning him about a specific danger at some point in time; Cable's done enough time travel to know that sort of things is probably useless. But what would Cable talk to Scott about in regards to friendship, or leadership, idealism, whatever? Cable's worn a lot of hats, tried a lot of different approaches. Had friends become enemies, enemies become friends, died, been reborn, gained powers, lost powers, on and on. What things would he would he see his dad as lacking that he could possibly give him, and could he manage it? Or would he even try at all? Maybe he'd just want to go camping with a teenage version of his dad and his space pirate grandpa.

Have Cable and Corsair ever interacted? Scott must have mentioned at some point he was married to Maddy, and they had a son. Corsair would presumably have asked where his grandson is, and I'm guessing Scott would explain it all. Corsair lives a weird life, he can handle techno-organic viruses and time travel. But I don't know if Cable's ever met him. I kind of suspect he wouldn't like Corsair much, would resent him for not being there for Scott, if even if he knew Corsair thought his son was dead for a long time.

I've Handed Concerns About AvX To My Subconscious

Three nights ago, I had this odd dream. I was reading a comic, definitely one from the '80s. Drawn by John Romita Jr., during his '80s stint on Uncanny X-Men. So somewhere in between Logan's marriage to Mariko that wasn't, and the Mutant Massacre.

There were two plotlines. One was someone either impersonating Wolverine, or controlling him, as a way to kill Xavier (who had use of his legs). There was definitely a panel of Wolverine sitting calmly in front of a roaring fire with his feet up on a footstool.

The other plot involved Cyclops being very confused and getting into it with the Avengers. Either they shot down a Blackbird with him in it, so he was kind of concussed, or he shot down a Quinjet because he was confused. His thought balloons were this run on stream of nonsense, mostly related to the idea of there being nothing left. It was as though he had a vision of a terrible future, and it turned his head inside out. Anyway, Cyclops decked Monica Rambeau, I guess because she was in a solid form, and he was still confused.

Everything lines up, timewise. Romita's style, the costumes, you could argue Cyclops confusion would fit if he's dealing with the conflict of whether to focus on X-Manning, or being a husband and father. Or, if we go with the future vision thing, he saw Magneto taking over the school and it freaked him out. There's just one detail that doesn't work: U.S. Agent showed up just as he knocked out Monica.

That was something I was very certain of in the dream. It wasn't Steve Rogers as The Captain (which didn't happen until a year or two after Mutant Massacre, anyway). It was definitely John Walker, because I saw him and thought to myself, "Things are going to get completely out of hand with that hothead."

My best guess is I was working out some things about AvX again. The story incorporates a Captain America figure you'd expect to behave like an abrasive jerk.Wolverine's the one trying to kill Xavier, which would seem more likely than Cyclops doing it. Besides, Logan's probably being mind-controlled, which is pretty normal for him, and it implies there's an actual malevolent force behind all this hero fighting, rather than it happening because all the heroes are big jerks.

The part that spooks me the most is my subconscious' apparently sympathetic reaction to Cyclops. The dream made it very clear he wasn't in his right mind, and wouldn't have struck Captain Marvel if he'd realized who she was. I'm not sure I approve of my subconscious doing that, though I can't argue with its conclusion.

Cyclops Was Right? Has The World Gone Topsy-Turvy?

I'm not sure I'm ready for a Marvel Universe where Cyclops gets to be right. Especially since it's given him a martyr complex. Gad, he'll be insufferable. Thing is, was he right?

Yes, Hope used the Phoenix Force to restore mutants, just as Cyclops said. But there seems to be an implication Hope needed the training she received in K'un-Lun to actually control the giant space bird. Without that, it's likely she'd have gone the same route Scott and the rest of the Phoenix 5 ultimately went.

Of course, I get the impression no one writing the damn crossover ever explicitly pointed this out. Which isn't surprising. You'd think people co-writing a book would bother to get things straight. Or their editors - oh right, never mind. Anyway, it would have been a nice way to deflate Scott. Point out that if he had simply thrown Hope in front of the Phoenix unprepared, it'd have been a disaster. Have Hope be the one, as she tells him what it felt like to try and control an ancient, incredibly powerful force hellbent on destruction.

Because I have a hard time believing restoring mutantkind is what the Phoenix actually came there to do. If so, why does it need a host? Just spread its wings, and make the magic happen. Why destroy a bunch of innocent planets? Surely the Giant Space Fire Bird is maneuverable enough to avoid them? That's not even getting into the question of why the Phoenix cares what the Scarlet Witch did.

Ultimately the results were  what Cyclops wanted, so I guess he doesn't care about the methods. Ends justify the means, and all that. Considering the circumstances though, calling Cyclops "right" is a stretch. If the Avengers had stayed out of it, assuming Wolverine and his crew of X-Folks didn't step in*, the Earth would have been destroyed, which puts the kibosh on Cyclops "restore mutants" dream. Then again, maybe he wouldn't care. I get the impression Cyke doesn't think Earth should continue to exist if there aren't mutants. Which is at least one more good reason to not like Scott Summers. Add it to the pile, then.

* I don't know if they would have. Did they even know the Phoenix was on its way until the Avengers showed up and started throwing their weight around? That's the really disappointing thing from the Avengers' standpoint. If they had just been more reasonable, they could have come out looking a lot better in contrast to Cyclops' idiocy, I mean zealotry.

Some Thoughts About Cyclops' Mental State

I did flip through a couple of issues of the main AvX mini-series two weeks ago. I was in Hastings, they were there, I'd heard Spider-Man was gonna get a cool moment, and what the heck. I'm not made of stone here people.

And it wasn't a bad moment. Probably a bit silly he survived the first hit from Colossus, but heck Piotr always (or at least used to be) a pretty nice guy, so he probably held back. Even if I should question whether someone dumb enough to think simply giving whales arthropod legs would enable them to live on land (without regard for how their bodies are designed to work with water to support them) would be capable of restraining himself enough to not kill a much weaker opponent. And that wouldn't apply to Illyana, but she was probably taking her time, a kid pulling the legs off an insect one at a time.

Anyway, I'm always up for Spider-Man being defiant and refusing to quit.

I did have a though about Cyclops, and surprisingly, it wasn't "Loser!" He's so convinced Hope is going to save mutantkind, and that the Phoenix Force is how she'll do it. I don't entirely understand the first (though I can guess, based off what I hear other people say about the X-Books), but I certainly don't understand the second. The Phoenix' job is to protect life by guarding the M'Kraan Crystal, correct? Making certain no one unleashes the neutron galaxy contained within. When it isn't doing that, it occasionally goes nuts from experiencing life as a human and destroys a bunch of stuff. So I don't know how that translates to "Will restore mutantkind", unless he figures the Phoenix Force can allow Hope to use her powers on a worldwide scale all at once. Which is, maybe, possible? I don't know.

But I wonder if Summers has stopped to consider what he's asking her to do. To take control of this entity, incredibly powerful, ancient, sometimes destructive force, and use it in a specific way. It seems like he would pay more mind to the "control" part of the equation. A lot of Scott's life has been about control. He has considerable power, Phoenix Force or no, but it's on all the time. So he always has to keep the ruby quartz eyeglasses on, or the visor. Cyke can't even do an '80s style glance over the top of the shades without risking blowing someone's head off. I think he'd have the most respect for the enormity of what he expects of her, especially as his allies all seem to be losing their grip on what is, at most, a portion of the Phoenix.

Setting aside whether Hope even wants to try and control the Phoenix Force (or restore mutantkind), there's the idea of whether she can, and what'll happen if she can't. I picture a failure being something similar to what'll happen if Flash loses control of the symbiont, only the planet will crack in half. The Phoenix was destroying worlds on its way to Earth (would it be funny to find out Earth simply happened to be in the way, and the Phoenix was actually headed for Knowhere, or the Badoon homeworld?), then it was split up and used for purposes it might honestly not give a damn about, and it might be a little pissed.

I'd kind of come to see Cyclops as a pragmatist, looking at the current mutant situation and trying to figure out how to keep as many of those remaining alive until they could figure out how to fix things. And to that end, he'd plan, play nice when needed, intimidate when needed, but he'd be trying the best idea he could to keep mutants alive. I don't know whether this whole cockamamie idea is a sign of how desperate he's become, or if it shows he's always been desperate, the drowning man, grasping at straws.

Perhaps He's Not Following His Own Advice

So Cyclops isn't keen on letting Deadpool join the X-Men. Whether this has to do with Deadpool being crazy, or a killer-for-hire, because Cyke hates his voice, because he thinks having Deadpool around is not going to help the X-Men's image, or something else entirely, I don't know. At least he's reconsidered, so perhaps I won't compile that list of all the other questionable people the X-Men have welcomed, some of whom worked out quite well for them (and some of whom did not). That's not where I'm going today, though.

What I'm thinking about is how Deadpool tried to convince Cyclops to let him join. Not his current plan, "Operation: Moves", which will surely not end in disaster for everyone. I mean whatever he said when he rowed out to the island the X-Men are based on now*, that ended with 'Soo. . . whatta ya say?'

In the previous issue, Deadpool was arguing with himself about the merits of trying to strike up friendships with the costumed do-gooder sect again, one side claiming that didn't work well last time, the other side countering with the suggestion that Deadpool didn't let those folks see the real him. The pro "make friends" part of his mind argued that Deadpool held back out of fear of rejection, and that if he really wanted to belong, he was going to have to invest himself in the attempt. I'm wondering if he actually tried that in his initial pitch. Or did he make some ridiculous spiel about mutant solidarity and how great he looks in clothes with a big "X" on them. Because the latter is more typical of Deadpool, and I can't see Cyclops being moved by that line of reasoning.

Of course, I'm not sure that Scott would have said "Yes" even if Deadpool had really opened up, said he feels his life is directionless, and the only time he feels good is when he helps people, so he's hoping that the X-Men, no strangers to being ostracized for being different, but still dedicated to helping others, would let him join up. And Cyclops could have a point, loathe though I am to admit that. After all, Deadpool is nuts, he does have poor impulse control, and he does tend to solve problems by killing people. While the latter might make him qualified for a spot on the Stabbity Kill Team, I think Deadpool's looking for more than just being considered an exterminator. Not that he won't kill for the X-Men; he's already demonstrating he'll do that, even when they don't ask him to. But even though Wolverine kills people, he's not thought of solely in those terms by his fellow X-Folks, and I imagine Deadpool would want the same consideration.

Still, that approach would at least be Deadpool really giving it a shot at putting himself into the potential friendship completely. Maybe I should say, that would be really putting oneself into it in the normal world, which is not a realm Deadpool spends much time in. His plan to assassinate this absentee parent giving the X-Men grief really may be Deadpool's idea of showing the X-Men his true self. It's something that has to be considered, as much as I'd like to think there is a decent person in Deadpool. His decency might simply be too twisted for him to work with the X-Men. At least some of the Stabbity Kill Team have been uncertain about what they do from time to time**, but Deadpool rarely shows doubt once it comes time to kill. Heck, he was going to gleefully carve up Bullseye with a chainsaw. Sure, that's Bullseye, and he's a scum-sucking, crazy-ass murderer, but still, Deadpool was laughing maniacally as he moved in, which is never a good sign.

* And that island is some old chunk of Asteroid M, is that right?

** Well, Wolverine was concerned about dragging others besides himself into it, at least.

Don't We Need A Custody Hearing?

I was flipping through the last chapter of Messiah Complex yesterday, and thank goodness that's over. Hopefully Peter David can get X-Factor back on track. Wait, that wasn't what I wanted to discuss.

Cable has the baby. Cyclops wants the baby. Cable is holding a gun on his father, and things are getting kind of emo, and I'm squinting and trying to decipher Bachalo's art, and Xavier steps out and tells Cable to give Cyke the baby. He says that Cyclops leads the X-Men, and so he has to speak for all of them.

All of who? All the X-Men? Is Cable an X-Man anymore? Not too long ago, Cyclops was convinced Cable might be their enemy and sent a heavily redundant team after him, but now Cable is supposed to hand over this baby he's been protecting to Cyclops, because Scott speaks for them? Sez who? Cyclops is the guy who once bailed on his wife and kid to go run around with back-from-the-dead Jean Grey, so I think that has to count as at least one strike against his judgment, and against him getting to play Solomon. What strikes me as really odd is, Cyke ultimately gives the baby back to Cable and tells him to go. In other words, Cable should proceed as he had planned to originally, so was all the talking and pointing of firearms really required?

On the plus side, at least someone stopped looking at the kid as some prize to be won, or a threat to be eliminated. The Purifiers want to destroy it because they hate mutants, Bishop wants to kill it to save his future, the Marauders, well Sinister, wanted it for whatever eugenics program he was planning to start up (come on, it's always something like that with Sinister). Mystique wanted to save Rogue, the X-Men wanted it for, some reason beyond just protecting it (because they're the X-Men, and all mutants must be under their care? Are we sure the kid wouldn't be less likely to be the target of attacks if it was with Sinister? He'd be harder to find?)

Cyclops seems to feel the child has the best chance of actually being a child if she stays with Cable. I'm less certain of that myself, but cheers to Cyclops for making his decision based on that. Did I just give a cheers to Cyclops? I'm not feverish, but I certainly must be sick. I better go lie down.