Maple Leaf Raggregator

WPC Cover 8sm

 

For the entertainment of all and sundry who see the comedy behind the schoolyard bluster and distraction of the US President-elect’s (11 days to go) pronouncements about Canada, I’ve collected the posts and items that have appeared here about imagined war between our two countries. 

Games

https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/200383/war-plan-crimson

(edition pictured above published in spring 2016)

War Plan Crimson, Mark II

(variant method of play for this edition that I like better)

https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/11277/war-plan-crimson

(older edition, with not-as-good physical production but an ambiguous cover painting I liked)

Scenarios, Variants and Extras

Scroll down to War Plan Crimson to get the files for The Maple Leaf Forever, an expansion kit made by Bruce McFarlane of Edmonton in 2002 for the very first edition of the game by Microgame Design Group. It depicts “Defence Scheme No. 1”, a plan created in the 1920s by then Colonel J. Sutherland “Buster” Brown while he was working as Director of Military Operations and Intelligence for the Canadian Army. Basically, it is a scheme for a pre-emptive limited incursion into parts of the United States to disrupt an imminent full-scale invasion by the US, in order to win some time for British forces to make their way across the Atlantic to defend the country. 2 maps, 78 counters, charts and rules.

Writing

War Plan Crimson: A Novel of Alternate History

A post about a novel in which Defence Scheme No. 1 is put into action. Haven’t read it but to go by the reviews, could be fun if you like Harry Turtledove’s stuff.

Invasion Fantasies

Post about a piece in Walrus magazine about American-invasion fantasy lit. I suppose just about every country in the world that hasn’t actually been invaded and occupied would have some examples of this genre of fiction.

And finally, my contribution to the genre of “joke one-page wargames”, from 1996. I can also assert this is my one definitely errata-free design.

Operation Maple Leaf Rag: the Second War of 1812

(c) 1996 Brian Train

1.0 Introduction
Hi there.

2.0 Components
The game consists of two cards, one representing the American Invaders (Yankforce) and the other the Canadian defenders. (Canuckblock). Players will need one n-sided die (with sides numbered consecutively from 1 to n) to play the game.

3.0 Sequence of Play
The game is one turn long and consists of three phases:
3.1 Movement
3.2 Combat
3.3 Victory Determination

4.0 Movement
Place the Canuckblock card face up on a table between the two players. Place the Yankforce card next to it.

5.0 Combat
Combat is conducted by the Yankforce player rolling the die and matching the result on the following Combat Results Table:

1 to (n-1) = Canuckblock eliminated
n = roll die again.

6.0 Victory Determination
If the Canuckblock card has been eliminated during the combat phase, the Yankforce player wins. The Canuckblock player wins if the Yankforce player fails to win (e.g. if he rolls (n+1) on the die, lightning strikes and turns him into a pillar of salt, he inadvertently inhales the die and chokes, etc.).

7.0 Optional Rule
The Canuckblock player can declare at the beginning of the Combat Phase that Prime Minister Mackenzie King is using his ouija board, and makes a prediction of the next die roll. If he is correct, the Yankforce player must buy him a drink before rolling again. If he is wrong, the Yankforce player wins a Sudden Death Victory and the game is over.

Duffelblog does USA CGSC DSE

Okay, this is going to show up all kinds of places in the next few days but I’ll put it here where I can find it again. 

All praise to the cleverly disguised Directorate of Simulation Education!

From https://www.duffelblog.com/p/command-and-staff-students-excited

Command and Staff students excited to wargame upcoming civil war
“No one gets to launch tactical nukes at Philadelphia until they’re 100% complete on annual training.”

Kay Too Ess Ohhhhh
Oct 23, 2024

FORT LEAVENWORTH, Kan. — Wargaming is a staple of professional military education courses across the Defense Department, and students at the Army Command and General Staff College (CGSC) are pretty excited about their wargame scenario for Academic Year 2025.

“I thought maybe we’d play out a scenario for defending Taiwan or perhaps countering Russian aggression in Scandinavia,” said Maj. Molly Swift. “So I was surprised when we were told we’d be planning something called Operation EYELINER. Then, the instructor opened the road to war brief with a close-up of J.D. Vance. And as I gazed into those eyes, I thought, ‘Yeah, I can see how those baby blues could get the country in trouble.’ That’s when I knew this wargame was going to be special.”

Dr. Burgerlich Krieg, head of the Murderology, Murderonomy, and Statistics Department that oversees CGSC’s game exercises, noted that wargames are intended to prepare students for future conflicts.

“All of our officers take an oath to defend America against enemies foreign and domestic. So we figured that given the polarization of the upcoming election, we should game out a few homeland courses of action just in case the sweet meteor of death doesn’t put us out of our misery before November 5th.”

Using a modified version of the classic Axis and Allies wargame, each CGSC conference group was assigned a unique branch plan of national dissolution to explore.

“Operation EYELINER assumes that Vance takes over the presidency after Trump chokes to death on a Big Mac at his inauguration ball,” Swift said as she casually rolled a pair of dice in her hand. “Naturally, Vance’s immediate national security priority would be forcibly nationalizing the means of production at major cosmetics centers in California and Florida. So we’ve planned out combined armored thrusts and airborne assaults leveraging the closest Army bases to each maquillage center of gravity.”

Krieg elaborated on some of the other branch plans: “The American taxpayer can rest assured that the iron majors here at CGSC are gaming out every possible scenario. For example, Operation WORD SALAD follows an executive order by President-elect Harris to deploy special operators in direct action missions to eliminate any journalist who asks her a question harder than ‘What’s your favorite color?’ With a Trump victory, Operation CHAINSAW has the Corps of Engineers provide logistical support to irregular forces led by RFK Jr. that hunt down immigrants. Sure, using severed Haitian heads is kind of a dark way to track victory points, but it’s these types of realistic wargame scenarios that really make the military decision-making process come alive.”

Minute Men Mark II

Strike For Berlin: Chinese edition!

pic7440343

Several of my games originally published by Flying Pig/ Tiny Battles have also had Chinese-language editions, produced by arrangement with Banana Games (think they are in Tianjin).

Here is the Chinese edition of Strike For Berlin.

Looks nice except they misspelled my name on the box!

More broadly, for anyone who is interested I ran across this interesting summary of wargame shops, publishers game clubs and other resources across Asia, recent as of 2019.

https://legalalien.sakura.ne.jp/wiki/?Tabletop+Wargaming/A+Brief+Summary+of+Tabletop+Wargaming+in+Asia

And of course this leads one down a bit of a rabbit hole, where I found some panels of “Girl Genius Wargamer”, a manga drawn by Fraser Chang of Taiwan in 2014. Here is a short piece of his giving an introduction to the different forms and scales of board wargaming, featuring cartoon girls with large heads, odd coloured hair and short-skirted high school uniforms.

https://home.gamer.com.tw/creationDetail.php?sn=2634535

My Dinner with Werner

Nothing to do with wargaming, history, or even design… well, maybe creativity.

But I like Werner Herzog, and I like chicken (more than he does).

A funny short film with musing, yelling, door-banging and birds talking via the miracle of champagne.

And if you can’t make it out, dine at home with selections from the Herzog line of canned foods.

HerzogCans

VDV Song, updated

Oh, this is just brilliant!

Today’s factoid

Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky voiced Paddington Bear in the Ukrainian language dub of Paddington and Paddington 2.

Now:

paddington3pplswar

(sorry, don’t know ultimate source of this graphic)

Meanwhile, the best digest of Ukraine war news and analysis I’ve seen so far is the daily campaign assessments put out by the Institute for the Study of War:

https://understandingwar.org/

Beats hours of futile doomscrolling and semi-conscious journalism.

Counterinsurgency RTS game

66543968_march24010

I don’t often read Duffel Blog, so it was only today this piece from 2017 came to my attention:

https://www.duffelblog.com/p/realistic-new-counterinsurgency-video-game-lets-watch-troops-fuck-youre-fired

Realistic new ‘Counterinsurgency’ video game lets you watch troops fuck up until you’re fired
Dec 5, 2017

SEATTLE, Wash. — An upcoming real-time strategy game is designed to let you watch your troops fuck up until you’re fired, sources confirmed today.

Titled Counterinsurgency, the debut video game from Seattle-based Green Wood Studios breaks new ground by pulling players into a protracted campaign mode with virtually no way to win. During this time, you — playing as the Theater Commander — get to witness gross mismanagement and malfeasance on the part of your subordinates until you are replaced.

“Most RTS games are about achieving measurable objectives, such as destroying the enemy team or acquiring key resources,” said Jerry Cevalos, the lead game designer, during an interview at GWS. “We went the opposite direction by instating a nebulous end-game of installing and sustaining a democracy.”

Counterinsurgency takes place in a fictional country, Angelovya, after World War III. The playable faction (U.S. military) occupies the nation in an effort to uphold an American-backed government, rebuild infrastructure, and protect the populace from the insurgent “Red Phoenix Army.” To this end, you have the option of using a plethora of military, civil, and diplomatic options — from Special Forces raids and airstrikes to training local security forces and bribing village officials.

Players have a finite number of Confidence Points, which are gained or lost depending on in-game successes and failures. Reaching zero points results in being relieved of command and the game self-destructing inside the console.

According to a preview of the game, despite having superior forces and materiel on the player’s side, things quickly go haywire after the campaign begins. Faulty intelligence gained from tortured prisoners leads to a missile obliterating a wedding, killing 23 unarmed civilians and a CIA asset. A shadowy, Russian-backed cartel quickly gains recruits from the angry populace, and the Red Phoenix Army is born.

Numerous pre-scripted and dynamic real-time events wreak further havoc on your command, from vehicle-borne IEDs blowing up civilians and gate guards, to special ops raids killing the wrong people, to soldiers disobeying orders or going on murder-sprees.

“You could be in the middle of stability operations in a nearby province, and a disillusioned soldier will desert his post or leak classified documents,” Cevalos explained, referring to unscripted incidents that can happen during gameplay. “And don’t be surprised if your best troops with fleshed-out skill trees quit the military and get replaced with inept morons.”

Making things worse, the insurgents are often indistinguishable from neutral non-playable characters, making accidental civilian deaths practically unavoidable. This problem is compounded by vindictive locals falsely accusing their rivals of being guerrillas, while others have no interest in ratting out their insurgent friends and family. All of these contribute to the loss of Confidence Points and bring your command tenure to its inevitable demise.

“Whether it’s sending Special Forces to train people who will later try to kill them or arresting a dozen Marines in a drug and prostitution sting, we intend to make this the most realistic RTS to date,” Cevalos added.

He concluded, “We hope this will best reflect the state of America’s current wars.”

At press time, a leaked memo has revealed that the only way to win the game is by carpet-bombing the entire country. This results in the Theater Commander being sent to the Hague for war crimes and your computer frying itself anyway.

Counterinsurgency is scheduled to be released after the War in Afghanistan ends, sometime in 2031.

By Paul Szoldra

Duffel Blog is the first and only online parody news organization focused on the U.S. military and veterans — helping advance critical thinking in national security through satire and smart humor.

Reorg

Today we had a moderate reorganization of my Ministry – doesn’t affect me much except where dealing with the Suits is required; I lost a good go-to-bat-for-you Boss though.

But titles always change in a reorg, and now I am in the Strategic Policy and Initiatives Branch.

I’d make the logo my Zoom/MS Teams background or whatever, but no one would get it.

Private Paula

 

Here’s something I didn’t know…

In the German-dubbed version of Full Metal Jacket, Vincent D’Onofrio’s character Private Pyle is rendered “Private Paula”.

GySgt Hartmann’s (“hard man”) berating Pyle is just as impressive auf Deutsch! Though the expression “if it short-dicks every cannibal on the Congo” is no more illuminating when it’s translated into German.

Interview with Harold Buchanan – part 2

 

2019-06-25-19.42.04

https://soundcloud.com/harold-buchanan/podcast-22-an-interview-with-designer-brian-train-and-his-top-5-list-part-2-of-2

Continuing on from a week or two ago, part 2 of my long interview with Harold Buchanan when we were at Consimworld Expo 2019.

For some reason he starts off with me explaining and singing the Smarties song….

Also, the tale of the Pantzooka!

Games (inspirational and not) referenced in the interview:

  • Central America
  • Minuteman: Second American Revolution
  • National Liberation Front
  • Nicaragua
  • Plot to Assassinate Hitler
  • South Africa
  • Tito
  • Vietnam 1965-75

 

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