from dark to shadow

The next parts of our adventures were recounted by the Great Narrator thusly:

The adventurers pressed forward, making camp in the caverns. With little between them and their potential pursues, the party could not help but stop and rest as exhaustion, thirst and hunger overcame them.

At least a restful night could be had in one of Tip’s rope tricks.

Moving on, hoping to find the light of day or some form of sustenance, the companions followed the only obvious passage in this grim, dead Underdark.

Finally the group found some signs of life: piles of offal and quasi digested filth riddled a cavern opening. Amra smelled it first, then the others saw the rotting scatological piles. Somewhere beyond could be heard the rushing of water. Could this be the salvation the party sought? Food and water to strengthen them for the journey forward.

The discovery was met with concern when, from behind, a horrid, blood curdling scream was heard. Could this be Netherese pursuers? Undiscovered enemies? The party did not want to find out…

dx20070518_otyughCreeping through the cavern, as best one can with the beacon of a torch, Arnold (once called ‘the lucky’, but may come to be known as ‘he who stumbles into every bad situation possible’) disturbed the garbage-pile-nest of a young Otyugh. Surely this must be the source of the massive piles of offal and detritus! The fight was on.

As they say “all that glitters is not gold”, so it can be said that “one small Otyugh can’t be responsible for all that shit”. When battle was joined, and the baby Otyugh was put down, with prejudice, it’s cries of pain and lament awoke it’s humongous mother. As Uncle Reggie Brandyken would often say: “The only thing ornerier than a crying baby, is it’s Momma.”

The party emerged victorious with Shuiba having suffered the only serious wounds, but the filth-covered Otyugh was surely diseased, so Amra used his magics to slow the progession of malady, and could only hope for a bit of luck that Shuiba would not be afflicted with sickness.
With food in their bellies (from the fish pond that fed the Otyugh) and their waterskins filled, finally the worst must be over?

metamastPushing forward the party finally found the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. A water-filled, skeleton-strewn, slug-cavern with an opening in its vaulted, cavernous ceiling. All would have been un eventful except for a very tempting pile of treasure in a back corner. What would have been a very peaceful escape turned into acid burns, salt lines and near drownings mixed with wild riches as past adventurers had lost their battles with the two giant slugs that occupied this area, and left behind treasures they carried.

Amongst the treasures, were 3 Ivory statuettes of little goats.

I did relatively little to inflict damage upon the slugs. I was pleased, however, with the discovery of the Ivory Goats!

With Tipwill’s and Amra’s magics the party emerged, finally to fresh air, sand and a ruined caravan beset upon by dire scorpions of wicked intellect, and a near-dead caravaneer. After the ensuing battle to save the Denezeir, Shaffar Al-Hjeez, the party found itself partially blind (as Tipwill and Liam succumbed to the poisonous blasts of wolf-sized scorpions) and sapped of strength (as Tipwill and Shinzu succumbed to the strength-draining poisonous tails of warhorse-sized scorpions). But they now had a new friend, who swore his life to his saviours, and they discovered they were indeed in the Anauroch.

I had been careful not to get too close to the beasties, and indeed hid stealthily among the rocks for much of the time. However, my sling had delivered quite a few heavy blows, bringing down two of the creatures.

It also had to be said how shadowy everything was. Even at midday, the sun was partially blotted out by veils of misty obscuration. At night, all was black: no stars could be seen in the skies above. The triumph of the Shadowvar had changed the very world itself.

Gaining trust in her new companions, Shinzu had revealed more of her tale, and the quest Xian Go had given her. To recover Memnon’s prison-mirror, the Tesseract Mirror, open a dragon door and return 100 years in the past to stop Ashton of Arn, former companion of Tipwill and Arnold, from returning the Crown of Amaunator to Rhyster’s Matins, and so end the Netherese blight upon the land.

urviving their encounter with the Scorpions, but badly hampered by two blinded party members, the party pressed forward at the urging of Shaffar, their new ally.

Harnessing their magics, the party conjured mounts to speed them through the desert, making for the Oasis of the Great Wyrm. As the shaded sun set, the companions decided to rest despite Shaffar’s urgings to continue, for he was deathly afraid of the Shadow Sand Storms that could catch them unawares.

Resting the night in the dark barrens of the Anauroch, the companions arose from Tip’s Rope Trick shelter and were set to beging the new day when Shaffar’s fear were given life. A Shadow Sand Storm swept in with unearthly speed from the horizon. The Arcane Storm bore down on the party and the Tortured Shadow Spirits that resided therein wailed their hungry cries. Unsure what to do with their blind companions, the party stood their ground, while Shaffar begged them to run.

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This was not entirely as I remembered it. We indeed tried to run—but there seemed little point running with two blinded companions only able to stumble, not to mention my own slower pace. Tip had been in the process of conjuring us fast mounts as the storm hit us with surprising speed—almost as if it were alive.

Shadowy claws ripped at the adventurers draining the very strength from their corporeal forms. Battling valiantly, the emaciated, drained emerged triumphant. As the last of the hungry Shadow Spirits’ force was cut off from this world, the storm disipated, and all was calm again.

Amra’s magicks delivered strength to the battered party as the very force of nature itself filled the companions with vigour.

With more urging from Shaffar the group pressed on, making for the Oasis of the Great Wyrm.

artwork sand worms dune 1592x1000 wallpaper_www.animalhi.com_31Shaffar led the party in a song he taught them. The song of soothing he called it. An ancient dirge in the language of the Bedine, Shaffar insisted this would keep them safe as they traveled across the waterless plain before them. Despite rumblings in the ground, and great vibrations that shook the sands on the parched landscape, the party traveled unharmed to the edge of the Oasis.

The oasis is a place of salvation for the desert dwelling Bedine. A small caravan encampment was set there around the Oasis. Merchants making their way to the Black Road or returning to Shazuul pass through this Oasis in the plain of the Great Wyrms.

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Here, it must be said, I got us all in some trouble…

How time flies…

ShinzuBreathing deep, Shinzu begins to tell us her tale of adventure, traveling from Kara-Tur to the Anauroch in search of Memnon’s Tomb… a long journey through the darkness where she encountered many Netherese and their allies (some of whom died at her hands), as well as friends of the light who were able to help her.

The Netherese Empire has surrounded and threatened my home with their campaign of conquest.  When first the ancient cities were raised, the Netherese appeared to be returning home from their Shadowy realm, but soon thereafter their true desire was revealed…conquest.  The Shadovaar rulers of the great floating cities were not content with a simple return to their long-lost homes, they were bent on conquest, and so the Shadow Wars begun.

As Amaunator took his place in Silverymoon , the Three slowly perished and their protections over their beloved Faerun disappeared.  The Shadow-Goddess Shar took the opportunity of this Sundering of the Pantheon to consolidate power and divine allies, thus began the Great Darkness.  Over the years, the Great Darkness grew until the World itself was shrouded as the barrier between this plane and Shar’s Domain became weak.    With the dimming of the light, the Shadovaar’s powers grew, as did their ranks with allies crossing from the Shadow Plane.

Decades passed and the Netherese conquered kingdom and country, mountain and valley, continent and ocean.  Still the people…some people remain strong.  Pockets of resistance can still be found, for the people are still good, but few have the power to face this Darkness, and those that do are often captured and placed in camps where they await execution after long questioning, or…worse.  A fate I suppose we have just been through.

Now, 100 years after the appearance of Shade, my Master, Xian Go the Enlightened One, one amongst the good denizens of this world who dares to fight against the dying of the light, discovered arcane knowledge that leads him to believe an answer to the Netherese conquerers lies hidden in Memnon’s Tomb.  Thus I was sent forth, for what has been done must be undone.  This great Evil of the Netherese must be stopped, and so, I must find the Tomb of Memnon.

I asked her the last date she remembered:

It was the spring of 1476, by the reckoning of the Dale, as I remember it.

Over a hundred years after Tipwell and I were in Waterdeep….

déjà vu, all over again

Imprisonment for unknown months. Torture. An dark mastermind, bent on shadowy evil. Memories lost.

It happened once. Now it has happened again. And, as the saying goes, I’m just about as happy about it all as a rooster in soup.

I remember being in some Silverymoon inn—the Ivory Goat, I think it was—gathered about a table. Horrors beset us until a demon appeared and awoke us all from what now seems to have been a shared dream, plunging us instead into a nightmare world where we were captives to Shadovaar children who were experimenting on humanoids under the tutelage of one called “Zareth.”

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I remembered a Zareth from the past—a Shadowvaar agent we found beset by the Shadow-Death. Was he the same? What did that mean?

It seemed we had been in this place for months, if not years.

Blind_Beholder_by_chriss2dHaving clearly not been fed to halfling standards during my captivity, I managed to free a wrist, then the rest of me, from my shackles. I then released the arrest. We then escaped our gruesome prison where children killed for fun and aberrant abominations were kept as battered and beaten “pets”.

Zareth only narrowly escaped with his shadow-life, as did two of the torturer-children. But with a promise to return…

Escaping through an ancient structure beneath the torture-chamber-classroom, we made their way through traps aplenty (all of which I managed to trip) and encountered a truly strange, out-of-place statue frozen in mineralized formations from eons of water that must have dripped upon it. There we were beset upon by a massive swarm of adamantine wasps, mistakenly hatched when I inadvertantly stepped upon an egg clutch. This was not, it must be said, my lucky day.

Metal_Bee_by_davidbrinnenUsing guile and wit, and a recovered beholder eye, we were able to overcome yet another obstacle in their quest for freedom from this evil place.With but one passage laid out before them, there were but two choices, return from whence we came, or hope that the way ahead would lead to the surface….

Dragon Doors

It’s been some time since I’ve posted in this diary–and so much has happened . But today I remembered a song that Uncle Reggie always used to sing, and it seemed strangely important.

“Oh brother, here are we now standing before a dragon door.
Do we dare to open it and unleash what ever hell might lie beyond?
If behind this door lays the future than we must press on.
For is this hall of hell not the way humanity has pushed down for all its time? And here we are now standing at ends with the ability to make a future.”

“Oh brother, surely not all of society has come down this way.
Do we dare to open it and unleash what ever hell might lie beyond?
If beyond this door lays the future than let progress die and us live.
For is this world so evil that it will let us decide if the whole world ends? And here we are standing at the great decision with the choice to live.”

“Than let us decide for the better of the world and strive for better lives. We will never know hardship again.”

“But why must we fatten ourselves for the butcher to come in the eventual end? I say we lay down our pathetic attempts to create paradise
And build better people instead of machines.”

“But we are flawed and always will be so why work on a canvass filled with holes? I say we create a new world where life is obsolete
And build a future without flaw.”

john_howe_the_door_of_night

much has changed in my absence

 

30 Kythorn 1374

I have, at last, returned to Waterdeep. I have stopped to run errands in the city, while my companions have set off with Shen’s body to my birthplace of Brandykenthwaite-on-Trickle, so as seek his resurrection at the Temple of Yondalla there. I do hope that Most Venerable Hearthmistress Elise Willowgrove blesses them by granting this, our most ardent wish. I hope too that they all have time for a pint or six of ale at the Thirsty Terrasque.

Much has changed in Waterdeep, and not for the better.

The leadership of the Guild has been broken. Guildmaster Drovak has not been seen for months. Deputy Guildmaster Whisperdirk has been imprisoned, charged with the murder of a Calim spice merchant named Nazreen Al Fayed Ibn Fazulyeh—the very same Nazreen, it seems, that was allied with Muldaven. A new Guildmaster has taken over, known only as The Watcher. As his agent he has a a lithe, raven haired lady in tight-fitting green leather leggings, matching bodice, and adorned with a raven tattoo—the very same Cerynn, it seems who was tracking us months ago in the north. From the tales told of her by my fellow rogues, she is a formidable woman indeed.

As my mother used to say, this is more coincidences than you can fill a pillow with.

I’ve tried to leave the impression with Cerynn that I’m alienated from my erstwhile friends, and have become very much a halfling-for-hire. She may, or may not, have bought it. She certainly seems inordinately interested in them, although I’ve provided her with little real information.

Whisperdirk might know more of this—if only he could be freed from imprisonment. However, a direct assault on the the heavily-fortified main prison on Penal Isle is out of the question. Instead, I am considering whether something more round-about might work: some forged transfer orders, perhaps, or some other bureaucratic device to have him moved to the mainland. To this end I’ve identified a possible informant within the Palace of Justice: a grumpy, disgruntled, miserable clerk in the office of the High Magister named Archibald Inzay. Inzay keeps to himself, and seems that he spends almost all of his time working. Some joke that he must be an automaton or construct of some sort.  Rather oddly, he travels once a month to the City of the Dead. Perhaps there is something there I might use to enlist his aid, or to leverage into useful information.

It all makes my halfling head spin, even without the usual accompaniment of ale. One thought keeps returning, however, above all else: with so many shadowy threads of fate now knitting together, does it not seem likely that Uncle Reggie’s murderer might also be lurking nearby?

revelations

21 Kythorn 1374rory.jpg

Perhaps its this Silverymoon mead, or perhaps it is simply the after-effects of months spent in the aberrants’ captivity, but once again I find myself having the strangest dreams.

This time, I’m in Sixteen String Jack’s having a pint or six with Uncle Reggie’s gnomish accountant, Rory McNumbers. This in itself is a bit strange, since Rory left Waterdeep some years ago, after developing a system for playing “Paladins In the Pit” that broke the bank at the Golden Moon Casino. Apparently, Khraz Cheapaxe, the casino’s irritable and tight-fisted dwarven owner, was more than a little perturbed at Rory’s mathematical skills. Consequently, he hired some dark elf assassins to make sure his technique didn’t become more widely known. Having successfully dodged one poison-tipped crossbow bolt, Rory wisely vanished from sight. The gnome is reputed to now be enjoying his retirement raising racing-badgers on a small private island that somewhere off the coast of Lantan, all purchased with his winnings.

Anyway, that’s not the strange part of it. In the dream, Rory and I are discussing Shen. Our brave monk has been much on my mind as of late, as we all wrestle with the thorny moral dilemma of how best to bring him back from the lands of the departed, and whether such expenditures as this would require on his behalf would violate the monk’s solemn vow of poverty. Why Rory would care, I don’t know, since he was never a big fan of poverty–but dreams are like that.

“Aye lad, ‘e sounds to me like a valuable asset,” says Rory, blowing smoke-rings from his pipe in the shape of small gold pieces, “and one who benefits well his shareholders.” Shen doesn’t have shareholders, of course, but I imagine Rory is talking here either of the poor and orphans that the good monk cares for, or his slightly bizarre, somewhat divine origins which make no sense to me in any case and I generally prefer not to think about. “And with a valuable asset, you’ve got to nourish it, and think long term. There’s no point letting its earning potential decline because you’ve failed to maintain its productivity.”

Increasingly I’m confused by his words, but confident that he’s talking about Shen, since–again, in the dream–the gnome’s unruly green hair is slowly being replaced by a bald pate. A few swigs of Gilmour’s Gilded Green-Apple Ale does nothing to alleviate the confusion. Quite to the contrary, large dancing cheese-wheels start to appear on the table—a rather bizarre phenomenon that I attribute to Prof. Sniddle once more injecting himself into my subconscious. Sure enough, one thought of a cat and they all disappear.

“So you’re saying… umm…?” I imbibe more ale, in search of greater moral clarity.

“You need to think of more of sustainability and future value, lad, and less of opportunity cost or the fungability of scarce financial resources,” the gnome responds, nodding. The ever-growing cloud of smoke-rings around him now increasingly resemble a huge grey city, perched between the life and death, its very walls made of lost souls… or possibly, of fine aged brie. I think once more of cats.

“Of.. ermm.. what?” I can’t remember being so confused since mom explained that the storks are just storks. The constant cheese references aren’t helping.

“The sustainability of capital investments, and the dangers of depreciation.” At this point, Rory’s usual garish flowered shirt has been replaced by a plain cotton toga.

“Depreciation of..?” I take an even larger swig of my drink. Perhaps I shouldn’t have skipped economics classes in favour of lock-picking as a youth.

“SPEND THE DAMN MONEY, LAD.” This latter comment comes in a much, much deeper tone than I’ve ever known the squeaky-voiced gnome to utter before.

I wake up with a start. It must be a sign. Possibly a sign that Rory now suffers from male-pattern baldness, has changed his taste in clothes, and had a much-delayed post-puberty change in voice. Or a sign that somehow the Shadow-invasion is related to fermented milk products. It seems more likely, however, that it was a sign about what to do about Shen.

So off to Waterdeep it is, to sell what’s left of our gems, and find someone who can bring our monk back to us, well and whole. I’m quite happy for that. Before we do it, however, I think I’ll find Prof. Sniddle and share a snack together.

me, mead, and Prof. Sniddle

20 Kythorn 1374

rat.jpgNot for the first time in my life, I’m not entirely sure how I got to be where I am. Am, in this case, appears to be under a table in a Silverymoon pub, surrounded by empty flagons of mead, with sleeping rat beside me.

Since this is most certainly not a spider-infested forest, I can only assume that I’ve been celebrating our safe return to civilization. No doubt it will all come to me when my brain clears, possibly with the aid of several large doses of that most valuable of elixirs, Mrs. McGuddle’s Purple Patented Clearhead (assuming I can find it this far from Waterdeep).

I did, however, have a dream–one in which the events of the past days (or, it appears, months) were filtered through the eyes of Prof. Sniddle, Tip’s ever-present familar and my apparent drinking companion. From his most perceptive of rat perspectives, it would seem that our time since entering the Dwarven mines was spent something like this:

jostle, jostle, jostle (boom)
eep!
(yay, cheese–thanks, hairyfoot)
trudge, jostle, trudge, trudge
arghhhh! fight, fight fight
trudge
creaaaak
“No Arnold?” What’s “No, Arnold!” ?
fraak! fight, jostle, fight
trudge, trudge
argh! fight fight
frak
flee, flee, flee
frak!!
boooooooooooooom
whaaaaat?
poof
creep
fight, fight
poof
fight, fight, trudge, fight, run, zwaaaap, trudge, fight, trudge
yay, books
frak, dragon! what, no eat me? yay.
need cheese.
damn, no cheese
jump. frak! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh…………..
THUD

ouch
frak! oh nooooooo……….. (scuttle, scuttle, jostle, thump)
Tip? Tip? Tip? Tip?

baldy? baldy? baldy? oh, baldy…
hairyfoot needs a bath.
trudge, trudge
Tip!
oh frak! fight, fight, flee
trudge/fight/trudge (it gets hazy here)
yay! cheese! mead!
mead?
hic! zzzzzzzzz…..

the return of Tip

woods1.jpgWe have Tipwill back! And I’m alive!

Despite Tip’s personal charm and impressive ability to turn people into newts, I’m sure my family would rank my survival as being of considerably more import than that of our mage. (True enough, cousin Mary-Ann might not. She had never forgiven me for dyeing her hedgehog blue as a child, and later acquired that series of increasingly scandalous crushes on the various itinerant hedge-wizards that sometimes passed through Brandykenthwaite-on-Trickle.) Regardless of their biases, however, I must say that I’m quite pleased with both sets of developments.

It was Mayzine who first found evidence of Tip’s unwashed scent with her keen draconian senses, apparently through the woods to the north. In this direction we thus all headed, Ashton and Hedge carrying Shen’s lifeless body on its crude litter. We had only the starlight to guide us through the undergrowth, and only the shadow dragon was able to see more than a few feet ahead. All of us were ill-equipped, and quite the worse for wear from our previous battles and the fall from the portal.

Eventually we came upon more solid evidence, although it wasn’t clear how it related to our missing mage: cart-ruts in the soft soil, and then the cart itself, stationary in the dark woods ahead. Hedge and I volunteered to quietly reconnoiter the area.

When we reached the cart, we found its contents looted and a dead dwarf slumped forward in the driving seat. Natural causes seemed to be an unlikely explanation for its death, given the several heavy black arrows lodged in the corpse’s back. Clearly there were humanoid foes about, and not just the eight-legged ones that we were in search of.

There was little time to ponder who those foes might be. A guttural warcry pierced the still night air, and we heard sounds of someone approaching. Hedge and I took up ambush positions (or, it might be said, hiding positions–there being little difference between the two). Before we could spot the enemy, however, Mayzine swooped low over us, and crashed into the underbrush ahead. The shadow dragon was hunting, and had found her quarry.

Although Hedge and I crept forward to help, she had little need of our assistance: she quickly knocked out one orc (whom I dispatched with Mr. Cutty), and subdued the other. Ashton joined us, struggling with Shen’s body across his back. We all turned to the orc. Perhaps we could gain some vital information from our prisoner.

There followed some considerable bickering on how best to proceed. Mayzine, who held the fellow in her claws, first threatened to emasculate him, then to hurl him to the ground from on high, and finally offered him a small compensation to cooperate. I tried to concoct a complex tale of unimaginable riches in the hope of using the Orc’s greed to loosen his tongue. All this did was complicate matters by stoking his greed still further, to which Ashton responded by solemnly promising him half of whatever treasure we might find.

Finally, Hedge found a way of cutting through the bickering and negotiations. Literally. The Orc slumped to the ground dead, an adamantine blade through its back. Ashton and even Mayzine wondered about the ethics of all this. Shen, bless his soul, would have turned over in his grave, had we yet buried him. As for me—well, while its not something I would have done, I was not unhappy to see him dead. I proceeded to loot the fallen body.

A short while later we heard more noises, this time of shouting, and of something (or somethings) crashing through the brush towards us. Mayzine advanced towards the commotion, and was surprised to see a terrified (and rather damp) Tip fleeing towards us. He didn’t need to say anything about his situation: his look made it clear that he was being pursued, and that we didn’t have much time.

I tried to convince Mayzine to take to the air, and to draw them away from our position. Once again, we clashed more than cooperated, and she rejected my suggestion. Although I’m coming slowly to the view that perhaps she truly has abandoned the path of evil, we don’t get on well. Her haughtiness is quite the opposite of we hin. She clearly doesn’t like skulking, a past-time that I rather enjoy. That she could almost gobble me up in a single bite probably doesn’t add to the weight of my views in her estimation.

We could not possibly hope to outrun our pursuers in this dark tangled forest. Given our wounds and the uselessness of our magicks, most of us considered that this battle might be our last. Nevertheless, we grimly readied ourselves to fight.

As for me, I advanced a little beyond my companions, and took up position in a tall tree. From here I could carefully choose my targets from concealment, maximizing both the element of surprise and the damage of my projectiles. It also gave me the option of trying to draw our attackers away from the others, and then seeking to evade my pursuers with well-honed stealthiness. It was a risky long shot, but it would be worth it if it might allow Ash, Tip, and Hedge to escape with Shen’s body.

Soon we could hear Tip’s pursuers rushing towards us. A large orc passed under my tree.. and as he passed, I hurled a single flattened stone which caught him heavily in the back. He stumbled a little, giving Hedge time to aim his crossbow, and finish him off with a well-aimed bolt.

A second orc charged passed, and in the distance I could see Mayzine in combat with yet another opponent, a dark elf barely visible amid the trees. Reasoning that the dragon could well handled the Drow, I took aim, and hurled a knobbly stone at the nearer foe–dropping the orc in its tracks. In the distance, the Drow fell too, laid blow with a mighty swipe of the dragon’s claw.

Sadly, this time my movements seem to have given away my hiding place, for a huge ogre roared, and hurled a massive axe in my direction. Thankfully, he missed. Less thankfully, he then rushed to my tree in an attempt to shake me out of my arboreal perch.

I clung to a branch for dear life as the tree rocked and swayed, the fearsome creature’s stench and considerable annoyance more than amply evident to me in the branches above. Mayzine moved forward to fight it, and—the ogre’s attentions momentarily distracted—I hurled a rock against its hard head, and then a second. Much to my pleasure, the thing groaned and fell dead. Chalk one up for hiding and throwing rocks.

As all this was going on, Hedge, Ashton, and Tipwill confronted a final orc in fierce hand-to-hand combat, vanquishing it too.

Happily we all greeted Tipwill, who recounted how he had escaped from the spider’s lair with the help of Mr Stabby, whom I had given him earlier in the aberrants’ cavern. Our collective celebration was soon cut short, however, by the sound of scuttling in the woods. Spiders. Many of them.

The party began to withdraw. Knowing once more that I could not keep pace with my companions, I instead hid again in the tree. Fortunately the spiders seemed interested only in the fallen bodies, which they wrapped in silk and dragged off into the darkness. On this rare occasion, I was quite happy to forgo uncollected loot if it meant they would leave us alone.

On Pyrotechnics

firework.jpg“Arnold, flasks of flammables are like flagons of gnome-brew…you can never have too many!”

I can almost hear my gnomish friend chuckling as I recall the advice that he so often gave me back in Waterdeep. Despite his urgings, I never used to carry much in the way of fiery weapons. They are, I found, rarely useful in a bar-fight or an alley encounter with the thuggish retainers of some aggrieved noble–they draw far too much attention, and have an unfortunately tendency to set buildings (and indeed, entire neighbourhoods) alight. Now, as I sit in the post-apocolyptic wilderness and contemplate the wooden spear and crude sling and found rocks that are my primary weapons–as well as the earlier usefulness of Kordite’s wares against the Grell and Beholder–I rather wish I had listened to his advice more.

I had first met Kordite von Boom shortly after my arrival in Waterdeep as a young halfling. I had been sent there, of course, to study on a scholarship at the prestigious Upper Waterdeep College, while Kordite had traveled from distant Lantan to study at the equally well-known Zingle’s School for Bards. Neither of our educational experiences had worked out quite as our parents had planned. I endured taunting, bullying, and was finally expelled on suspicion of having relocated school funds to a better place. Kordite, on the other hand, had destroyed a fair share of his own College during unauthorized experiments in the chemistry lab.

It wasn’t that my gnomish friend was a poor bard. He certainly could carry a fine tune on his harmonica, and indeed taught me what little I know. His knowledge of the obscure and peculiar was quite impressive. His true love, however, was alchemy–and more precisely the study of pyrotechnics. Indeed, our first professional collaboration came when he convinced me that the Fireworks Guild’s control over the production of smokepower for war and entertainment was yet another example of oppressive monopoly capitalism. We proceeded to liberate a few of the artificers’ most closely-guarded technical texts. A little later, he opened his own small alchemy shop. This was less successful than he hoped. Part of the reason for this was the notorious unreliability of its hours, with Kordite frequently off on some adventure or unmindful of the hour (or even day) while at work in his laboratory. However, I think the bigger problem was the the routine production and sale of acids and salves was really not where his heart lay. Kordite liked things that flamed, or went boom. And the bigger boom the better.

It was this, and the costs of his experiments, that led him into a secondary but more profitable business—and one that enriched both our commercial and personal friendships: facilitating the resale of relocated objects. While certainly not the largest or most successful fence in Waterdeep (an honour that goes either to Pinky Goldfingers or Hilda the Pawn, depending on whom you ask), the combination of a bard’s eye for the arcane and ancient, and a gnome’s eye for gems and precious metals made him a quite reputable reseller nonetheless.

With a more steady income to purchase supplies and rent more suitable quarters for a lab (in a stone cellar near the docks, where there was no risk of a city-wide conflagration from mishaps), Kordite’s experiments and inventions grew more ambitious. His alchemist’s fire (von Boom’s VIP–Very Inflammable Pyrotechnic, as it was marketed) is second to none. His flame-projector–Harriet the Glob-Thrower, he nicknamed it–was rather less useful much of the time, although there were those occasions when the ability of the 50lb contraption to hurl globs of sticky, burning goo proved quite useful, especially against spell-casting opponents easily distracted by their own self-conflagration. His Bigbang Tube O’Fun was another device that I thought as much dangerous as practical. It did, however, provoke an ultimately successful petition from the Wizard’s Guild to have its sale and production banned within the city, despite its non-lethality. Apparently, the arcane elite were less amused than Kordite (or I) at the thoughts of a dozen barbed fireworks snaring a mage’s flowing robes, and distracting him, her or it with their whistling, sparkling, and periodic detonations of colourful embers and smoke. Kordite didn’t mind their ire: while he had briefly toyed with being a sorcerer (and had learned just enough of those skills to acquire Zaphod, his familiar burrowing owl and constant companion), they were, in general, much too serious for his gnomish tastes.

I’m not sure now when I might get back to Waterdeep. I do miss its alleys, its easy marks, and its fine drinking establishments. I especially look forward to the chance for a pint or six at Sixteen String Jacks with my gnomish friend, while we catch up on each other’s tales. I’m carrying more than a few relocated objects that I might resell in his direction. And I’ll certainly place an order of my own for more some of his most excellent (and, at the moment, sorely missed) inflammables.

Into the Darkness

portal.jpg“Look before you leap,” my mum used to say. She wasn’t the only one, of course–that particular turn of phrase can be found in a thousand tongues in a thousand lands. “Aim before release,” the Wood Elves say. “Watch fer rocks afore ye watch fer gold,” say the Dwarves. “Better an eye for the Nightwatch than a year in gaol,” whisper the guildfellows of Waterdeep. Or, as my good friend Kordite von Boom often says, “Never mix without ducking.”

Well, despite my best instincts I did leap before looking—following Hedge and my fellow adventurers through the portal in the abberrants’ lair, knowing not what was on the other side. And, as a result, brave Shen now lies dead.

We had finally found Shen an hour or so earlier, wandering disoriented in the cavern of the mournful golem that Hedge and I had tried so hard to avoid. With the monks’ martial skills added to our own, and with the help of evil-dragon-Mayzine-turned-slightly-less-evil (more on that later) we had triumphed this time against the foul construct, although not without injuries. Pleased to be once more back together as a party, we had then retired to the Grell laboratory, conversed a moment, and then moved through the portal

The portal… well, you see, there was nothing on the other side of that portal. More precisely, there was a starry night sky, and a fall of a hundred feet or so through the darkness into a crater below. I had feared what might await us at our destination, and and even mentioned my concerns to my companions. However, with everyone else so brave and bold I felt self-conscious with my warnings and usual halfling caution, and so leapt into the arcane blackness. In an instant, I found myself in another place, plummeting towards the hard ground. Mayzine, whose leathery dragonwings had soon caught her fall, might have caught me too, but declined to do so. It would seem she has not entirely abandoned the path of evil, in my book at least.

Shen had proceeded me and was lying in a bloody, bruised mess on the ground when he heard my cries of alarm. Without hesitation or thought for himself, he positioned himself to break my fall—and, in so doing took some of the harm meant for me. It was, as I have come to expect of this monk, a supremely selfless act.

Although we all survived the fall, it left us battered and ill prepared for the next dangers that we might face. We were deep in a huge bowl-shaped depression, formed in some mighty explosion that had destroyed the old Dwarven mines we had been exploring only days (weeks? months?) earlier. The ground seemed polished smooth, perhaps scooped away to another plane or melted like glass in the heat of a great cataclysm. A strange dark mist swirled about our feet.

It was out of this mist that our attackers came: a gigantic dark spider, and its smaller eight-legged companions. It was then that I realised our magicks did not function here, and that Uncle Reggie’s skiprock and other weapons secured within my Belt of Thingyness were beyond reach. As Hedge reached for his swords, I grabbed his crossbow and bolts, hoping thereby to contribute to the battle to come. Ash gripped his mace, its divine powers temporarily quietened. And Shen–once more, selfless and brave–catapulted himself forward to confront our many-legged foe.

He was wounded, though. Wounded, you see, from his fight with the golem, from his fall, and from catching me. In a stronger state, he would no doubt have vanquished this beast, as he had so many dark creatures before. This time, however, he was struck down. Struck down dead.

It is odd that it should have moved me so, for I have seen death before. It is odd too that I should feel such an affinity for this honest and ascetic monk when so much of my own life has been spent in bars and taverns, among thieves and confidence tricksters, and in relocating objects of value to better places. Yet his simple moral code, his very basic sense of right of wrong, has something very hin to it. He is–or was–as straight as a gooseneck down a plughole, as the expression goes. Only his sometimes stern demeanor, excessive height, rapid pace, peculiar parentage, intolerance for creature comforts, whirling-hands-of-death, ability to glow, preference for non-alcoholic beverages, general inability to play the harmonica or to convince people he’s a visiting noble or tax collector or traveling gem-appraiser, lack of curiousity about what lies in other folks’ pockets, ignorance of the classics of literature (notable Harry Heliofont and the Magnificent Golden Badger), bald feet, and negligible experience with barmaids, grappling hooks, handcuffs, or a criminal record marked him as any different from a hundred halflings that I have known.

In any event, this was not the time for mourning. We scarcely had time to react to the sight of the monk’s broken lifeless body laying prone in the dark moonlit mist when the huge spider grabbed Tip, and started to flee with our mage. We wounded the monstrosity grievously, but evidently not enough. It vanished into the shadows. Two of our rapidly-dwindling party were now gone.

Curiously, the spider actually vanished too–clearly shadow magicks, or the things that exist between The Weave, function in such dead zones where other mystical powers do not. I shall have to ask Tip about it–when and if we find him. I am hopeful we will. Presuming that the creature does not immediately snap off his head, drink his bodily fluids, and discard his lifeless drained husk of a body in its lair, I doubt that a spider can long keep possession of a mage of Tipwill’s intelligence, especially should it wander somewhere where his arcane abilities once more function. I can only hope too that the time (and cheese) that I have spent in secret training sessions with Professor Sniddle on gem-filching and rope gnawing will prove useful. In any case, we have no way of tracking where he is, or where he has been taken (although I’ll ask that cursed Mayzine to scout for him and the spider come daybreak).

For now, therefore, the priority is Shen, We must take him forthwith to somewhere where he might be be brought back from the netherlands of death–perhaps at the nearby Dwarven hospice (if it still functions following the cataclysm), or Sundabar, or if not there surely in Silverymoon. Sadly, with our mage captured and our spells useless for now in any case, we can hardly magick ourselves there. Instead we’ve fashioned a simple litter, and we will carry the body of our fallen companion as far as is necessary.

And I, for one, shall find someway of repaying him. I have no way of knowing, of course, whether the damage he took from my fall made the difference, or whether he would have been vanquished anyway. Indeed, that’s quite the point: he didn’t plot or plan or balance the risks and dangers, but simply and with his typical courage did what he thought was right. The Harpers have a saying, or so Uncle Reggie used to say: “Do good.” I had always thought it rather trite, and far too simple. But that’s the thing, you see–for the truly good, it is simple indeed.