The first week of November, I began writing my 2025 Year in Review post. For a thousand words or so, I talked about disappointment, which was the word that came to mind for 2025.

I talked about how I was disappointed with my job, my family, technology, pop-culture, and so on. If anything, 2025 seemed like a year where nothing improved. Everything I had high hopes for, from finding a new job to James Gunn's Superman movie, were all massive disappointments to me. And don't even get me started on the internet, internet mobs, and what not. I mean, a good portion of the internet has been a cesspool for many years, but I feel like it creeped out of it's spots like 4chan, Facebook, and X, and slowly made it's way across what bit of the internet felt untouched.

So, I wrote this long, goodbye to 2025 and what a crap year it was, a year where the losses outnumbered the wins. I saved my draft and decided I'd finish it up the closer we got to Christmas.

But in the past six weeks, things have changed. No, the internet didn't get better, James Gunn's Superman movie didn't stop sucking, nor did world seem to improve, but maybe my outlook did.

I think this is all a result of some of the topics I've written about recently such as purging most of my belongings and looking for a simple life. I've taken a huge step back from a lot of my interests and re-examined what I was allowing to dictate my happiness. I've been able to see that I've tied my emotions to ridiculous ideas and interests and allowed them to sway my mood. I stopped expecting the world to be fair and just. I stopped allowing the internet tech rage of the week to influence me. I guess, you could say, I just chilled the fuck out.

The moment I stopped looking outward for my happiness, things got a lot quieter in my head. Suddenly, being on top of things wasn't a priority. I didn't need to rush and watch the latest TV show, because I was happy watching something from ten years ago. I stopped feeling bad that I didn't get out of the house more or go do exciting things this year, and instead I found comfort in the fact that despite some trying times, I've remained out of debt.

Something I find interesting about this is I've known all of these things. I've spent decades studying philosophy, Buddhism, Taoism, etc. The idea of non-attachment, living in the moment, and all that are so mainstream I'm sure most people understand the basic concepts. But despite feeling like I've practiced these things in the past, I don't think I fully gave myself to them. I feel like maybe, I was always one foot in and one foot out. Maybe it took time, maturity, or maybe I needed to reach a certain point in my life to fully give myself into them, but the moment I did, I feel like I've weathered a storm.

One of the more impressive results of this new feeling is what happens when I meditate. Meditation has always been a struggle and I tend to meditate for a while, and then stop. I haven't maintained a dailyish practice very long and part of the reason is I've always been concerned with meditating right or making progress. Now, I just sit down and do it. My progress is none of my business. And you know what? Meditation has been taken to a whole new level. Never... in I'd say, twenty-five years of meditating, have I opened my eyes and felt more at peace. It's frigging bananas.

I feel like in the past, I've tried to push myself to evolve. I've tried to force the issue. I've tried to make myself into what my ideal self would be. Now, suddenly, I've stopped trying and its almost like life magically is pushing me in the right direction. I guess maybe the key to all of this is giving up and holding on loosely.

Maybe 38 Special had it right all-along,

Hold on loosely, and don't let go. If you cling too tightly, you're gonna lose control.

So, what about my 2025 Year in Review? Well... 2025 wasn't great, but 2025 also didn't ask to be judged by me. I'm hoping these next 356 days result in a more peaceful and calm world, and I'm hoping I can stay on this journey I unexpectedly have found myself on.

When I think back on 2025 as far as pop-culture is concerned, two movies stand out as the two I enjoyed the most.

The Life of Chuck

I'm not sure if this is a great movie for repeat viewings, but Mike Flanaghan nailed it. It's a beautiful film about life and I recommend it whole heartedly. Go in with as little knowledge as possible for the most enjoyment.

The Shadow's Edge

The latest Jackie Chan movie is a very enjoyable action flick and best Jackie Chan movie in years. Even with its 2.5 hour run time, it never felt long and this movie has stuck in my head more than it has any right to.

Looking back over my Apple Music history, no music really stood out as incredible. I found some good albums and I played some songs on repeat, but I listened to a lot of ambient and instrumental music this year. The complete album I listened to the most was Yellowcard's Better Days.

I also spent most of my year playing old video games. I logged a ton of hours in Rocket League and Star Wars Battlefront II. The only new games I bought were Robocop Unfinished Business, Battlefield 6, Tony Hawk 3+4, and Kingdom Come 2. I've only been playing Kingdom Come 2 for a couple of weeks but its by far the best new game I've played this year.

I dealt with plantar fasciitis for half the year which really destroyed my workout routine. I haven't gotten back on track with my physical health outside of doing some yoga, but my foot is much better and I'm heading in the right direction. Outside of this little hiccup, I was healthy most of the year, along with my cats and my wife. That's something to be thankful for.

Here's hoping that 2026 will be a bit better

For some time now, I've been looking for a micro-journal. Just a place where I can occasionally write a few thoughts that’s private and easy to use. Despite there being a slew of both online and offline options, apps, and platforms, nothing has really been a good fit. But recently, I discovered Inkwell, and that all changed.

Outside of wanting a place to mouth off or vent a little, I've wanted something to help with rumination. Sometimes at night, I'll find myself stuck in a thought loop or stressing about a certain situation, and when this gets to be too much, I end up getting out of bed, logging into my laptop, and journaling. I think this is a healthy reaction, but sometimes I don't need a full deep-dive journal entry. Sometimes, I just need to say a few things about what is going on in my mind, and that's why I wanted a micro-journaling solution. I've experimented with private blogs and using UpNote, Apple Journal, Day One, and a variety of other options, but it feels a bit like overkill to create a new entry for a short paragraph or two.

So, I started installing apps the past few weeks to see what works and what doesn't. I discovered Journalistic.app, which looked promising, but the developer has stepped away from it. Most of the apps had issues. Sometimes it was the price, other times it was the privacy, and sometimes it was just poorly made. Then I ran across Inkwell, an app that was affordable (and had a $30 lifetime option, which always appeals to me), looked good, performed well, and offered great privacy options.

The ultimate question was... will I use it?

I'm sure, if you are like me, you've researched the hell out of an app to fix a problem, only to find a solution and realize it just wasn't something you really wanted to do. I convinced myself that despite all this effort, I'd probably make one entry and then abandon it.

I found myself writing my first entry the very first night, when I found myself struggling to fall asleep. Three paragraphs later, I'd expressed myself and managed to slow the monkey mind.

The following morning, I was inspired to write a bit more after running some errands. Then once again later that afternoon when I had a few free moments. The lack of friction made opening the app encouraging to use, and the lack of bloat made it enjoyable.

I continued this cycle the following day, and then the next day, and the next. I found myself looking forward to writing a few thoughts about my day. I guess you could say it was almost like tweeting when Twitter first launched, but a bit more personal.

Inkwell was made by Mario Mouris, who wrote a post called Why I Built Inkwell that probably explains more about the app than I did. Sadly, the app does not have a website, and there are a dozen other apps/programs called Inkwell, which means it’s hard to find in a sea of inkwells.

Right now, it's iOS only and is being maintained and improved. From my research, it looks like it launched around August 2025, so it's still relatively new. If I had one request, I'd prefer there to be an option to export by Markdown and not just JSON. I swear, I have no idea why JSON seems to always be the default export, but I am not a fan.

So, to answer my question, yes, I will use this app. For how long? I don't know. Hopefully for quite some time, since I made a lifetime purchase.

It’s clear that has something has changed inside me over the last few weeks. It began after Halloween. I completed a throwback series of posts that reminded me of blogging from the past, while also honoring a friend who passed away. I mentioned previously, that one thing I remember her telling me was “The past is a good place to visit, not to live” and it seems like that message has finally gotten through to me. In a way, I feel like my series of posts were an homage to an old version of myself, a tribute to a friend, and the closing of that chapter of my life.

My obsession with the past dates back to my childhood. I’ve always look back to the 70s, 80s, and 90s for inspiration on how to live and how to be entertained. I’ve gone out of my way to study and embrace the lifestyles of distant years, and now, I realize that in order to be happy, I need to stop looking behind me, and instead look ahead. I need to find contentment in the present and put my efforts into achieving that.

The moment I embraced this idea, and realized that the past was holding me back, so much in my life begin to shift. My belongings lost their meaning, so many of my thoughts became exhausting, and my hobbies useless. It sounds bad, but it was liberating. It was like I was shaking off something that no longer fit me, and I now had room to explore and find something new. I was no longer being defined by what I owned and what I liked, and instead, I was free to just be me.

During this period, my forty-second birthday passed, and I remarked to my wife that this birthday felt more like a transition than when I turned forty. I had so much anxiety and expectation that forty was going to be some great awakening, but it was just another day. And while I can’t say my birthday played any part in this, I do find the timing convenient.

It was also around this time that my wife and I had a long talk about happiness. She mentioned that when we first met, six years ago, I seemed to be in a more peaceful place. She is right. I feel like I lost what grounded me during COVID, and I’ve never completely recovered. We chatted about how life has changed, and what may have played a part in this shift, and while I can’t point my finger at anything particular, I do think the way I use the internet and my free time have played a major part in this slow slide into anxiousness. I spent more time absorbing negativity online, and I don’t spend near enough time offline, countering that with healthy habits.

It was during this discussion that I revealed to her my thoughts about how something has changed and the reasoning behind me donating so much of my belongings. I wanted to reassure her that I was not struggling or going through a midlife crisis, but I felt like this was the next step in my natural evolution. My things, my interests, my obsessions… had served their purpose. They had provided me with the necessary distractions that I needed throughout my twenties and thirties, but now as I progress through middle-age, they are no longer needed. Much like a young child with a favorite blanket or teddy bear, I’ve evolved past the need for these distractions to make it through the day, and it’s clear my way forward is with a less attached mind.

That’s not to say I won’t ever watch a favorite TV series or get excited about a video game, It’s just now I am able to put these things into perspective. My entire mood won’t shift based on how these things are received, and I’m not going to jump through hoops or spend lots of money to experience them. I want a simple, low-maintenance life, and I’m going to do everything in my power to experience that. This is my number one priority moving forward.

My wife asked me the hard question, “What does that look like to you?” And while I confessed, I was still rumbling with these new thoughts and hadn’t fully formulated a clear view, I know I want to rely less on external items/interests for my happiness. I want to find ways to simplify my daily life and activities, and I want to begin to make decisions based on whether something would invite chaos, distraction, or aggravation into my life. I want to read more, spend less, and move my body. I want to explore ways to cultivate happiness within and to set more boundaries. In many ways, I want to take ownership of my life as I transition into this next stage.