Christmas 09
...One year ago I had the Great Holiday Breakdown, which I've come to accept was predicated on a few things: hitting an age I had never really thought past, realizing that my relatives are aging also, starting a massive change and knowing that this is it; adulthood is happening, and whoa boy do I feel unprepared for it.
I was a wreck. A complete and total train-wreck of a man. A shaking, over-anxious, nervous, shattered mess. Enough said on that.
One year later, my anxiety on the subject is far from cured; in fact many of the same notions continue to occupy my thoughts from time to time. But I am managing them, for now. I was able to enjoy my day and the presence of my relatives, and I accept the fact that not only am I not a kid anymore, I am far from it.
As of this writing I am not even halfway through my 20s--that won't happen until March. And I'm okay with turning 26, I think.
The thought has come to mind that it is time to put away childish things; to stop playing games and start focusing on school and my career. But another part of me knows that eventually the pendulum would swing back the other way. I need to seek balance, and start examining my hobbies from a more mature perspective.
WHY do I role-play? What is the deeper motivation and how can I both improve my skills and gain greater satisfaction from it? The first step is to stop reacting with frustration when things don't go my way, and begin examining my options to turn situations to my advantage.
On a slightly less pontifical note, I got a pack of socks, new slacks, a springform pan, a cookbook, new shirts, the Wizard Knight novels, a manicure set, the "Mesmerize" toiletry set, and Dragon Age: Origins. I can't play it until I get back to Buffalo, since I didn't bring home my 360, but that's okay.
I was a wreck. A complete and total train-wreck of a man. A shaking, over-anxious, nervous, shattered mess. Enough said on that.
One year later, my anxiety on the subject is far from cured; in fact many of the same notions continue to occupy my thoughts from time to time. But I am managing them, for now. I was able to enjoy my day and the presence of my relatives, and I accept the fact that not only am I not a kid anymore, I am far from it.
As of this writing I am not even halfway through my 20s--that won't happen until March. And I'm okay with turning 26, I think.
The thought has come to mind that it is time to put away childish things; to stop playing games and start focusing on school and my career. But another part of me knows that eventually the pendulum would swing back the other way. I need to seek balance, and start examining my hobbies from a more mature perspective.
WHY do I role-play? What is the deeper motivation and how can I both improve my skills and gain greater satisfaction from it? The first step is to stop reacting with frustration when things don't go my way, and begin examining my options to turn situations to my advantage.
On a slightly less pontifical note, I got a pack of socks, new slacks, a springform pan, a cookbook, new shirts, the Wizard Knight novels, a manicure set, the "Mesmerize" toiletry set, and Dragon Age: Origins. I can't play it until I get back to Buffalo, since I didn't bring home my 360, but that's okay.