Check out this blog about Six-String Samurai, an adaptation using the Basic Role-Playing system, plus a Podcast discussion about the fascinating movie.
Category: Martial Arts
A Fist Full of Dice
I originally published this opinion piece in 2015 on Noobgrind, a computer game website, but since that has gone I’m posting it here. Whilst the original article’s focus was about computer games, this article is more about my influences, how old games led me to martial arts and my RPG designs. Part 1 = https://batjutsu.wordpress.com/2019/11/18/way-of-the-exploding-fist-lookback/
This is the third article in the series exploring the impact of the game Way of the Exploding Fist (Commodore 64) had on me, the life path seeds that were planted. Because of my dad’s interest in computing, for years I’d had access to decent home computers and a big collection of games, and in 1987 he bought an Amiga 500 resulting in me being given the C64. Due to living in a seaside resort, I had access to many arcades, but I only had a tiny amount of pocket money. So when I visited the arcades with my mates I generally just watched, preferring to save what little money I had towards buying a new RPG or computer game
The first arcade game I felt compelled to play was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TMNT), even though it was just a variation on such classics as Double Dragon, it was different, because it was TMNT! So that anomaly was understandable to me, since I was such a fan of the cartoon, but I was quite surprised to be hit by the virtual tsunami that was Street Fighter 2 (SF2) in 1991. The first Street Fighter (SF) looked okay in the arcades, I’d never played it and in retrospect it seems odd that I don’t recall anybody ever mentioning it at school; the 8-bit version of SF on the C64 looked horrid.
After playing a few games of SF2, I was horrified to find out that somebody else could join in beat me and take over; since I had limited funds I was not keen on this design approach. I soon grasped the financial implications of trying to figure out hidden moves. My paper-round money was already failing to cover my three main hobbies: computer games, tabletop role-playing, and wargaming, so I made the sensible but frustrating decision to watch other people play SF2, and like my days of watching Way of the Exploding Fist, maybe I’d learn, but without the financial cost. I got to see some pretty spectacular players who’d said they spent quite a lot of money getting that good. Watching helped me develop a better understanding of the depth of the game, but it also gave me an appreciation of the calibre of opponents that could easily beat me. In 1993 a friend got SF2 for his Sega Mega Drive, so I finally got to play the game for countless hours.
I appreciated the diverse martial art styles that SF2 included. Although the game included mystical abilities, it was cool to see how they had integrated them into different martial arts style, enhancing them without commandeering them. Granted, the plot of SF2 was extremely simple, but it didn’t matter, as the playability was exceptional. In 1992 I saw Mortal Kombat (MK), which was an impressive evening of watching a crowd of people challenge each other. Personally, I preferred the more in depth fighting in SF2, but I quickly became a fan of the MK game and universe; not that MK 1 was an amazing story, but it seemed a bit more fleshed out that SF2, in particular Outworld. Mentioning that SF 2 story was simple is of course obvious, but I mention it because in 1994 a tabletop role-playing company called White Wolf released Street Fighter (SFRPG).
By 1994 the universe of Street Fighter had been expanded, particularly via manga and anime. My friends and I enjoyed Street Fighter II: The Animated Movie (1994). Like a lot of popular settings (IP), more and more things were produced, adding ideas and variety to the original idea; some great, some not.
At the time White Wolf was known for its flagship game Vampire: the Masquerade, one of the many games set in the World of Darkness; I was an avid player and collector of these games. In the various World Darkness games, players could play characters (monsters) with incredible powers. The games tried to focus on storytelling and role-playing; a character’s story was the priority, not their powers; of course some groups focused on the power, not that there is anything innately wrong with that if the group agrees. So I was willing to give SFRPG a go, appreciating the foundations for an interesting gaming world based off the simple SF2 story. I am not claiming that White Wolf had written a masterpiece of world building, instead they had captured the essence of what had made the Street Fighter series so good. Although a gaming group could do whatever they wanted, the base focus of the game was all about a fighter’s journey to improve, set in a world of rampant crime and obscure mystics.
I was the Games Master / Storyteller (GM / ST) for several groups, and I also chatted with several other gamers at my local gaming shop, so I got to talk to lots of people. Typically, the initial response to the RPG was a quick list of surprise comments, followed by ridicule, then questions. My answers highlighted the fast combat, the depth of options, plus how intriguing M. Bison’s Shadoloo was, how similar to other secret societies/criminal empires, asking them what they thought Bison was up to. I’d explain an important game mechanic, that characters used Chi to activate certain powers, they could gain Chi points back by making Honor rolls. So if Bison had no honour, how could he regain Chi? Some role players were willing to try the game, and impressively they generally enjoyed it.
Over the years I have run several SFRPG campaigns, all were fun and some I’d even rate as good. I think it is also noteworthy to consider that the majority of players knew little to nothing about martial arts. What was great was that playing the arcade game had educated its players enough that they know what different styles roughly looked like, as well as what sort of techniques used; granted SF2 added chi powers to the mix, but did so without ruining the martial style. This SF2 education was an interesting bonus, as it generally affected a player’s ability to role-play comfortable and better, since it reduced learning the setting, styles, combat and powers. I loved that many SF2 players trying out SFRPG were pretty much veterans when it came to describing their character’s attacks, plus understanding what was happening in a detailed fight. The combat mechanics in the RPG were effective (but not perfect). An emphasis on streamlined simple mechanics better enabled players to learn how to play. The combat cards could help fights play out quickly, all in all, very efficient just like SF2. Interestingly the combat mechanics had some key differences to the other World of Darkness games, a few years later an optional book was added to the World of Darkness beautifully/amusingly entitled Combat.
I was disappointed with how the Combat book handled Mage: the Ascension. Effectively it did not add anything, suggesting Mages can perform True Magick like Stunts is IMHO pointless, since that is what a Mage game is basically like anyway. I do understand why this approach was taken, I am not saying it is worthless/garbage, just disappointing to me. Whilst there are a few special maneuvers for a character with Do 3+, which was nice, but, since Do was basically an Akashic Brotherhood (now: Akashayana) special skill. I think this approach sadly reduced a setting with infinite potential and options to cliché views of ‘Asians are best at martial arts’, ignoring the numerous world cultures with exceptional fighting systems, and the commonality of violence and the human body. This is partly why I have experimented with various ways of integrating the SFRPG mechanics and Combat Cards with other games, my own games, and for the last few years Mage.
Debates about tabletop role-playing game systems is a major part of that hobby, mechanics matter and add to that so much of what we know is from movies/games/books and not personal practice. The designers of any role-playing system need to acknowledge the fact that truly simulating reality is far too complicated, never mind the fact that so much is not understood, therefore a game needs to be easy to understand, and usually quick to play whilst not sacrificing too much realism. My point, linking back to the previous discussion about game accessibility, reducing player learning requirements, and helping players understand game events, I think overall SFRPG did a great job.
Overall I loved the core rules for SFRPG. Whilst the expansion books introduced many great things, unfortunately it also added some garbage into the game. In interviews it has been explained how rushed the game line was, sadly this shows, which is a shame because if more time had been given to the designers then maybe some of the garbage could have been more great additions. The most famous example is the Cartwheel Kick, in was so clearly broken it took most players only a few seconds to figure out that it was godly. Likewise the magic shoes in Savate. This lack of playtesting stands out, and is a disgrace to the quality of SF2 core game. Fortunately all role-playing game mechanics can be altered by groups introducing house rules, and generally a veteran gaming group can run a good campaign despite any rubbish game mechanics or bad story/world design. Having worked at a games company I have a good appreciation for the difficulties of hitting deadlines, costs of running a company, and how easy it is to miss things, which is why playtesting is so important.
Following on from a previous article mentioning Gene Lebell and Bruce Lee. It is a shame that Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) had not happened decades earlier. So many RPGs could have been fixed in regards to the martial art clichés. This is one of the interesting things about Street Fighter 2, for all the made up and fantasy aspects, the game has a diverse range of fighting techniques shown; granted no ground game, but at least grappling is a core part. I think this has helped SFRPG stand out against other RPGs, for example Palladium’s Ninjas and Superspies. The Contenders expansion added many styles and maneuvers, of particular note is Ground Fighting, but there are other gems like Chi Push.
The SFRPG rulebooks were full colour, which was very unusual for that time. Although the books had a distinctive White Wolf design with the flavour text and story snippets, the layout of the SFRPG books were more exciting/dynamic looking than their other games. The artwork was mixed, whilst some pieces were great, others were less so…
Character creation was straightforward, particularly for players familiar with other White Wolf games. Choosing a character’s special moves list was an interesting and fun part of the process, since it would be a major part of the character’s abilities and development. Interestingly, the game encouraged players to declare the names for their moves, just like Hadoken in the computer game. Whilst not everybody did this, nobody complained about it being silly, I put this down to the fact that SF 2 had taught players that this was a somewhat normal the thing to do.
Even after writing several of the negative points about the tabletop RPG, I still think that overall the core SFRPG was brilliant, providing players with a great toolset to explore the intriguing world of SF2. Along with the animated movie, it is nice to know that some game tie-ins aren’t complete garbage. Whilst there have been other good martial art role-playing games, my players and I still fondly recall many great Street Fighter gaming sessions and rate it as our favourite of the genre. Every few years we play it again, playing with new ideas and house rules.
The Street Fighter series has millions of fans, but a few of us crave more than just the fights. We are also nostalgic about the espionage of the World Warrior circuit, rising up in rank, to more epic stories of training under Ryu, discovering new/lost techniques, and I suspect in a few cases usurping Bison to take over Shadoloo! I’d love a great computer RPG set in the SF world, whilst I doubt that will happen, maybe one day it will?!
From Way of the Exploding Fist to Street Fighter RPG 3 part series
Fist 2 Exploring Mystical Fighting
I originally published this opinion piece in 2016 on Noobgrind, a computer game website, but since that has gone I’m posting it here. Whilst the original article’s focus was about computer games, this article is more about my influences, how old games led me to martial arts and my RPG designs. Part 1 = https://batjutsu.wordpress.com/2019/11/18/way-of-the-exploding-fist-lookback/
Continuing on from my previous article about my favourite 8-bit fighter, the amazing Way of the Exploding Fist, or Fist for short. The follow-on to that gem is Fist 2: The Legend Continues (1986), which took the then brilliant animation and clean fighting system of Fist and made a quite different game. This new direction split the fans of the first game, since some people just wanted Fist with extra features and improvements. Thankfully for young me, Fist 2 was everything I didn’t know I wanted, adventure with some depth. Castlevania and Metroid were both released in 1986; interestingly Fist 2 can be considered a basic Metroidvania.
A crucial combat mechanic difference between Fist and Fist 2 was the introduction of a health bar; this was probably an influence from Yie Ar Kung-Fu. Otherwise combat had the same approach and depth as Fist 1.
Exploration had been added in to the mix of Fist 2. My young mind imagined that all the time I had spent playing Fist had really been preparation for this new game. That my character was now leaving the temple, exploring the wider world and utilising all that training to defeat real enemies. That the stakes were higher, the fights were not just friendly sparring matches. I am sure a lot of people can relate to the idea/feeling they got when playing games like the GTA or Souls series; the freedom of a sandbox world with some depth, plus also the visual depth and in particular the jump from GTA 1 or 2 to GTA 3 and later games.
Whilst it is true that there had been exploration games that included fighting before Fist 2, they were done in a limited way, such as the Bruce Lee video game on the C64. Okay, a quick tangent since I wrote in the last article that Bruce Lee hadn’t been a big impact as a kid. Firstly I didn’t see any of his movies until a few years later; then they had an impact. The Bruce Lee game came out in 1984, but it was really a platform game with two attacks. Even at the age of 8, the game’s plot seemed randomly thrown together, it was quite poor; granted back then the vast majority of computer games plots were not considered important, but a good one helped. The problems were: the game was too easy, lacked game depth, and was not really a fighting game. At least the movement of the character was good, feeling both responsive and quick.
In the playground at school, Bruce Lee’s name was used all the time, so I had a vague idea of who this person was, despite him dying the year that I was born. To have his name associated with what could barely be called a fighting game was odd to me, even considering how young I was. In these days we were used to the idea that games with film or celebrity tie-ins are nearly always garbage; this is often still the case. Considering how many things over the years have metaphorically sucked the Chi from the Bruce’s Lee legend, this game overview shouldn’t be a surprise. Given what I have learned over the years about Bruce’s diverse training, including with the incredible “Judo” Gene LeBell, who was effectively the first Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) fighter, it is another reason why the Bruce Lee game was such a disappointment.
There were also several side scrolling beat ‘em ups over those early years, but they were not really exploration games. Whilst I did enjoy games like Kung Fu Master (C64 1985), Double Dragon (Arcade 1987), etc., I found them to be too simple, as they generally only had a few attacks. They were quite formulaic, because the opponents generally only did one or two things themselves, easily identifiable enemies allowed a player to recognise what attack type was incoming. These types of games were often about repeating the whole process to get a higher score and complete quicker; often completing the game quicker gave bonus points based upon how much time was left. Overall fun, but not as interesting as Fist 2.
Before my tangent I had mentioned exploration. For me, the idea that a good fighting simulator could form the foundation of an adventure game was amazing. A step up from the classic text based adventures such as The Hobbit, Zork, Adventureland (Vic 20), etc.; fun but not as visually immersive. The idea that you could find and fight nuanced opponents was refreshing, plus it seemed more like the TV series Kung Fu, or the few martial art movies I had managed to watch. Also these were not like a ‘boss fight’, requiring a specific set of criteria to be performed, which typically made all the normal attacks effectively useless. Each one-on-one duel felt legitimate, since they had the full range of attacks that my character did.
In addition to enemies there were certain zones that had environmental obstacles that required a character to have more health in order to survive. Special scrolls (trigrams) were hidden away throughout the game that made a character tougher. Also temples could be found that allowed you to heal through resting, plus were used to activate scrolls. Some temples were locked away, and these required that the character have already found a certain number of scrolls to gain access to them. So between the combat, environment, as well as locked areas, the game promoted exploration in regards to trying to become as tough as possible; hence the Metroidvania association.
It’s not that this game was innovative, it is more that this game was well done, as well as followed up on a game I adored and meant a lot to me. Fist 2 helped form a huge part of my lifetime interests. It was years till I played another good martial arts exploration game that had a big impact on me; that game was Oni, although that game received mixed criticism, I loved it. It was a few years later when another game hit that sweet spot for me, with Jade Empire. A special mention goes to Tenchu: Stealth Assassins, even though the core of that game’s design is stealth.
Whilst there have been lots of excellent games over the years fulfilling exploration and role-play, for some reason it is rare for those game types to be mixed with empty hand martial arts, and theme matters.
A few years after playing Fist 2 I went to high school, at aged 11 I was introduced to Dungeons & Dragons (D&D) and the role-playing games (RPG) in general. I loved RPG, like most role-players in part because of reading The Hobbit and then Lord of the Rings. The many hours of fun of the books of Fight Fantasy, Choose Your Own Adventure, Lone Wolf. But, I also because I wanted to play the wandering unarmed martial artist, like in the TV show Kung Fu or the game Fist 2. This would lead me to one of my favourite games Street Fighter 2 (SF2) and later SFRPG.
From Way of the Exploding Fist to Street Fighter RPG 3 part series
Way of the Exploding Fist Lookback
I originally published this opinion piece in 2015 on Noobgrind, a computer game website, but since that has gone I’m posting it here. Whilst the original article’s focus was about computer games, this article is more about my influences, how old games led me to martial arts and my RPG designs.
For me Way of the Exploding Fist (WotEF / Fist) is the Mario of 8-bit fighting games! Okay, considering the cultural weight of Mario, maybe that is too strong a statement, but I do consider this game to be of that design calibre. Later beat ‘em up games like Street Fighter weren’t quite the gem, especially the 8-bit version on the Commodore 64; IMHO, not until Street Fighter 2 did things improve. Today there are many iconic fighting series, but in the mid-80s there were only a few basic unarmed combat games, nothing I would call iconic, then Fist came out! The game received a 93% from Zzap! 64 magazine in August 1985 and game of the year, plus according to the wiki page it apparently went on to become the bestselling game for both ZX Spectrum and Amstrad CPC.
Why write about a game from thirty years ago? The classic answer of it being helpful to know our roots, to understand how they influence us; even if we are not aware, which is often the case 😉 I would urge any budding game designer to check this game out, to see what the creator Gregg Barnett did with a good design, an emphasis on game-play, and a clean interface. Additionally this was achieved with a very limited amount of processing power. Also maybe check out some other quirky game ideas like Attack of the Phantom Karate Devils, if only for its novel approach to reducing the need to draw lots of graphics on the screen.
For many reasons this game carries great importance for me. It wasn’t Bruce Lee or other martial artist movies, which made me obsessed with martial arts. In 1985 my dad purchased this amazing game for our Commodore 64, the title sounded just so exciting: ‘Way of the Exploding Fist’ or the simple punchy ‘Fist’. Thankfully due to my dad, even at 9 years of age I had a tiny frame of reference in understanding how difficult combat training is; my dad is ex-military and he had studied several different styles of fighting, and he’d started teaching me. Although I was already interested in martial arts, there was unfortunately limited access to media on any style in the early 80s in the UK, and we did not have enough money to pay for lessons. Crucially for me Fist wasn’t a platformer, or a game with just a few basic attacks, no, this was my first proper fighting game, and it is more like a fighting simulator.
Anecdotes aside, the graphics and imagery were incredible, yes dated now, but in its time quite impressive. I loved how crisp the game-play felt, the fantastic movement of the character led to a great sense of tactile feedback, and the attacks felt brilliant; for me game-play is the most important factor in any game. The game had 16 moves, enough that a fight felt strategic, not formulaic. Like so many people I believe that even a point-and-click or text-based adventure needs a good feeling of interactivity, and the graphic user interface (GUI) is a key part of this. Some people criticised the game in regards to how a character turned around, but I consider this criticism to be unfair since turning was just another thing to practice; besides you could attack someone behind you. In comparison to other games of the time Fist was spectacular. The music and sound effects were great, carrying that great combination of quality, feeling right and being distinctive. The music evokes strong memories of the game, and still carries importance for me; I’ve been humming it for decades!
Although a game called Karate Champ (KC) actually came out before Fist, I didn’t come across it until afterwards, so it didn’t have any impact on me. KC had so many firsts to it, and can be considered the basis for all the fighting games to come. Whilst the arcade game, Warrior, came out in 1979, it looks and plays barely like anything in the fighting game genre. Even though it was made just a year earlier, KC was not as fluid or well-paced, nor as graphical or musically as impressive as Fist.
On a side note Yie Ar Kung-Fu came out the same year as Fist, which I also liked, it was fast, quite fluid. I was not as interested in this game, as most opponents had weapons, and I preferred unarmed combat. Crucially I thought it didn’t have that feeling of tactile weight, the jumping distance was gigantic and floaty, a Wire-Fu aesthetic. Despite there being a brief pause to indicate that a hit had landed and seeing that the opponent’s health bar went down a bit, but otherwise there was no physical effect to the opponent. Interestingly this game became the foundation of later fighting games. In contrast Fist follows the rules of full contact point sparring, with the fight pausing after a successful hit on a point scoring area, thus there are no health bars, and this approach has barely been used since. Whilst I did enjoy playing Yie Ar Kung-Fu, with it providing a different gameplay, I still preferred Fist.
Besides the excellent 1 on 1 game play, Fist also included an odd bonus level that involved a charging bull? I guess this bonus level was inspired by Masutatsu Oyama, the founder of Kyokushin Karate, who claimed to have fought many bulls! Like many outrageous stories in martial arts and the relationship with sports entertainment, one should be cautious about believing everything. Still, it was a cool edition to a computer game. Whilst I believe Karate Champ was probably the first game to include such bonus levels, it was years later when Mortal Kombat (MK) and Street Fighter 2 (SF2) in particular became known for popularising this level concept.
Fist included the cool and important ability to fake an attack. This does not refer to the simple idea of moving as a feint, although this can be a valid tactic in many games. What I mean is that attacks could be started but not completed; this was possible due to the great control system, which was all the better with a great micro-switch joystick. I find this particularly useful when playing against another person, plus it did seem to affect the computer controlled competitor. Nowadays whilst some games include the ability to feint, this important part of real fighting is not seen as a core feature in all fighting games, I wonder why this is?
The game was accessible due to a combination of being: well presented, there were no hidden moves, nor complicated sequences, but crucially I believe the game flow and speed elevated it. Like any good fighting game the timing was absolutely critical, and the well animated sprites allowed for good control of the timing, and therefore distance management became the first thing to consider. Because this is an important part of real fighting, it should be no surprise that this is often discussed as a crucial factor in all fighting games. Sadly there are games that lack the combination of fluid animation and character control; the amount of bad SF2 or MK clones are a testament to this issue. In some games, attacks with long animations are annoying, especially if you cannot do anything. Ideally a game should always a player to try something.
I love fighting games, I have no issue with games like Street Fighter with hidden moves, special attacks, nor the detailed list of techniques like in Tekken. It is not uncommon for new players to complain about such games being too complicated, requiring a lot of effort to learn even the basics. A modern game like Fist would go some way to providing a stepping stone in to the fighting game genre. I’ve heard it said that the UFC games maybe fulfils this a little bit, and the general fight fan is much better educated these days, but the UFC games are still somewhat complicated, since after all they are simulating Mixed Martial Arts (MMA).
Another classic fighting debate is addressed by this Fist’s design, should button mashing be allowed? Although it was possible to button mash in Fist, learning the game could overcome the wild approach. This approach gave new players a chance to compete; their button mashing elevated my gameplay, and in turn helped them. I call this a successful design approach.
After a few weeks of extensive playing of Way of the Exploding Fist I got in trouble for misbehaving. I was banned from playing the computer for a few days, which at that age seemed like a lifetime! Since I dabbled in programming I was not banned from using the computer, just playing on it, so this gave me what I considered at the time, a creative workaround. I loaded the game and patiently waited, after a mini eternity I was rewarded with a successful load and the awesome music started. After about twenty seconds the computer would play against itself, so I could watch two competitors fight each other, with each attack being given added emphasis due to their kiai (spirit shouts). I had watched for an hour by the time my dad found out what I was doing, impressively he was not angry since I had not technically broken the rules. In fact he was amused by the fact that I was making my punishment more intense on myself, by having the object of my desire in such close proximity, but not being allowed to interact with it! When I explained I was watching the timing and distant management of the game he smiled, because he understood that this simple point fighting karate game actually did a great job in making this the focal part of the game.
There is no real ending to Fist, just like with real martial arts. Although I am not sure if the approach was due to design as metaphor, or more to do with just allowing a player to keep going to aim for a super high score.
The review from Zzap 64 Issue 4 August 1985 can be found here. For more information check of the game details on the wiki page. Whilst writing this article I found out that the music for this game was taken from Dance of the Yao Tribe, I had never looked it up until now; maybe that shows that a bit of hard work looking in to things you like can pay off? 😉
From Way of the Exploding Fist to Street Fighter RPG 3 part series
Health: Cortisone, Writing Motivation
The cortisone injection last week went well, with the doctor successfully injecting the area on the first attempt. The pain of the needle going in was not that bad, I was reading SuperBetter on my Kindle during the process, to help distract me from the pain, it did help a bit. Then as the injection of the fluid occurred the pain skyrocketed, it felt like a large object landing on the area; the doctor said that this could be a good sign, as it indicates that the injection had hit the right area due to how sensitive it was.
My body had an immediate reaction to the amount of pain, I started sweating a lot and nearly passed out. However, the experience sorting out my damaged right ear was far worse, so to anyone reading this due to worrying about their own cortisone injection I’d say yes it will be painful, but you will handle it. The pain experienced for the next two days was more like how the shoulder pain had been a few weeks ago, so not a big deal in the grand scheme of things.
Writing & Motivation
Whilst things had improved a little bit I have still lacked motivation to do much, as well as still needing to prioritise doing nothing. So despite receiving positive feedback about the Kaizo Trap and Cyberpunk articles in particular, I have not finished any articles for a few weeks, and I had planned follow-ups on those previous articles. At least I have had time to think about them, but after making a few notes, I then don’t have the urge to continue. Considering I could ramble on using speech recognition whilst in bed it would seem easy enough, but I just didn’t want to, until today when I got so frustrated I decided to ramble a bit.
One of my coping mechanisms whilst resting up has been watching all sorts of videos, I have written a NoobGrind article about Gaming and Disability: Value of Video, which as per normal for me turned into a thousand word piece. I hope to be able to maintain motivation and get back to writing articles about role-playing games and my professional experiences.
What’s Next?
I have another doctor’s appointment today, and I will need a further sicknote extension for hopefully just a week or two, and then maybe the injection will prove to have been effective. As mobility has improved I have been at least able to do a tiny amount of yoga and tai chi, and I hope that this progress will help trigger further strengthening without interfering with the current healing by re-aggravating something. I am still having to hold off at attempting anything Brazilian Jiu Jitsu related.
As pain reduces and health improves, I expect (hope) motivation will return. I guess if things don’t improve then I will have to change mental gears anyway. SuperBetter is helping, but I will write about that another time.
40th Birthday
I recently celebrated my 40th birthday, which despite the chronic pain was still an enjoyable day, and it’s nice to write about something positive. I do not put any particular emphasis on specific days, since I try to treat every day as special, but I appreciate that some days are more special than others. I had a small family get-together; we enjoyed a tasty collection of Chinese food and a bit of cake. Technically this had been my breakfast since I had been up the previous night and slept most of the day, as once again my sleep cycle was out of sync.
Whilst I don’t expect presents from friends or family I do very much appreciate gifts. Although I am not much of an alcohol drink normally I have recently been using it for medicinal reasons, roughly one or two units a day, so it was nice to receive several different drinks. The wife bought me an amusing present, a collection of treats in a bin; I have mentioned needing a small bin for my new room. The nice secondary joke being that a large collection of sweets is rubbish for my diet, but at least I’m generally good at rationing out treats.
I have been contemplating upgrading my PC for a few years, and have received money towards this. Thankfully I have a powerful enough PC, and I have not needed to upgrade my CPU, memory, or motherboard for years. As the requirements for high-end PC games have lessened over the last few years, in part due to so many games being made for consoles, the hasn’t been a need to upgrade; yes there are games that demand more resources but I don’t particularly care about playing Crysis in maximum specs. Due to resting and avoiding computer use I don’t particularly need a more powerful system, but speech recognition software like Dragon NaturallySpeaking does benefit from having more system resources, so have recently been looking at a more powerful system.
To PC or not to PC.
About a year ago I had been contemplating having a big celebration; my sister had one when she turned forty, and that was a fun evening. I had pondered the idea of asking to use the ITC gym (Sukata), since a lot of the people I would have been inviting train martial arts there, in particular Brazilian jiu-jitsu (BJJ). Although I was not one of the club superstars, I do like to think that when I was healthier I was a good training partner, which is an invaluable asset for the more talented, healthier and dedicated practitioners. Hopefully I will be back training and healthy for my 41st birthday, and if so I can have a large party then.
Although I have read dismissive comments about how irrelevant or pathetic a Facebook or email message saying “Happy Birthday” is, I disagree. Even a short message takes time and effort for somebody to do, and whilst it is possible to set up a script to automate sending emails to people on the birthday, it is not something that the general person would do. This is why I appreciate the effort.
This blog post nearly ended up being about the placebo effect, but I decided to separate that information for a future post. In the end was more a collection of thoughts about how my life is not all bad.
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This was written (dictated to) listening to the splendid new track by Leslie Wai, a cover of Modern Love but with some great tweaks. He is the wizard behind the Kaizo Trap music. I have blogged about Kaizo Trap before, and I wrote an article for NoobGrind about it.
RSI update: Shoulder and Sleeping
My medical situation in November deteriorated quite rapidly and I ended up pretty much bedridden for six weeks; despite my wish to return training as explained in Martial Arts and Disability: my situation. The RSI affecting my left arm had mostly subsided, however due to trying to use my left arm to compensate for the RSI in my right arm I developed RSI in my left shoulder. Due to the damage to my left hip, and the fact I have to sleep face down pinning it into place, this meant that I was also further antagonising my left shoulder. Taking a lot of pain medication did enable me to get sleep, however, as it was masking the problem I would usually wake up after only a few hours in a lot of pain and be unable to get back to sleep for a while. After a short while my neck had an intense pull on the left side, which then escalated as I had to adjust my sleep to my lower back being pulled out of alignment as my left shoulder and hip caused massive sleeping problems.
The pain I experienced over the last two months has been the worst in my life. I have had broken bones, the pain was extremely intense for a short duration, but thankfully improved over time. The pain from the RSI in both my arms could be somewhat tolerated by hugging myself, which changed the pressure in the arms. Obviously pain is a very subjective thing; different injuries have different effects, never mind the differences between people. For example the intense burning pain I had in my left arm from elbow damage, followed by a chemical reaction from Witch Hazel that I believe had seeped through a bit of tissue damage via my eczema, but was nothing in comparison to my left shoulder.
Over the last few weeks I have radically altered my sleeping setup and managed to find new sleeping positions. The pain has reduced from agonising to the halfway level of ‘bloody annoying’. With the somewhat improved sleep and reduced pain my thinking has cleared up somewhat, and I feel like I can at least attempt things again. I walked a short distance into town tonight, had a meal out at a buffet and then walked home, this pathetic amount of exercise proved to be a bit of a challenge and my left shoulder and lower back particularly hurts at the moment, which is worrying since I returned to work in the morning!
The following pictures show an experiment I tried using a massage table as a bed to help keep my left hip pinned. The idea was that I could help limit spine rotation by lying face down, plus pad the shoulder area. However, they are not comfortable things to lay on for extended periods.
Exercise is going to be a tremendous challenge for the next few months. I have to fight the urge to do anything other than the few very basic physio exercises I have been instructed to do, because I am not even healed at the moment, but I do need to do something to help with the healing. The weight that I lost in 2014 and up until June of 2015 has since been put back on, so I also feel bloated, sluggish and my trousers don’t fit. So it looks like another month of no martial arts, although by the end of the month I should be able to do some sport specific exercises, and hope to do some very light Brazilian jujitsu training in February.
At least with my mind clearing my caged frustration can be channelled towards productive things. I will return to BJJ, but as long as I am sensible I can hopefully not have to immediately take another injury break!
Fist 2 on Noobgrind and current Life
I have written another NoobGrind article. I hope the surprise twist for the 3rd article works, I worry it may not be as cool when written out as when I first thought about it …
Currently I have a lot of pain in my neck, shoulders and arms, even sitting up can escalate it. I have been given some stronger painkillers and told to rest up more, so hopefully that will help. Maybe my negative spin on my writing is more to do with a lack of sleep and constant pain, but then writing can always be improved 😉
I am currently experimenting with a new setup. I am using Dragon NaturallySpeaking whilst lying in bed and looking at a monitor that is high up, and has been angled to make it easy to view whilst lying down.
EDIT 2019 Noobgrind has gone, so I have added the articles to this site.
Updated: From Way of the Exploding Fist to Street Fighter RPG 3 part series
Martial Arts and Disability: my situation
Despite barely doing anything physical today I am in a lot of pain and that’s even after taking my painkillers. So I decided to load up the Dragon speech recognition software and finally write an article about martial arts and disability, something I’ve been avoiding writing for a long time.
Firstly writing the following post proved quite difficult because I am apprehensive about referring to myself as disabled; I have repetitive strain injury in both arms, which I have had at a severe level since 1999. Although there are occasions when my wrists swell up so badly that other people notice, RSI is mostly a nonvisual disability. Therefore I appreciate why most people are normally confused when my medical situation becomes something I need to explain.
Secondly I consider the word disabled to be a very powerful and important one. I think it is fair to summarise that the average person considers a disability to be something massive and obvious, for example someone that has lost a limb. Without a medical breakthrough re-growing a limb is not going to happen, it is not a case of thinking positive or eating better. As with most things in life, the concept of disability includes a wide range of things from the obvious to see to nonvisual, but also the severity of conditions can vary greatly from minor to extreme. However, I have been told by doctors and physiotherapists that I have a condition that may never heal and that affects my day-to-day life, and since on really bad days I struggle to perform basic tasks whilst also being in constant pain it is a disability.
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A summary of my background is that I started using computers extensively when I was six in 1982, and besides a lot of gaming I have also dabbled in programming. I started working in a call centre in 1996 doing a lot of data input. By 1998 I had started developing regular wrist pain, I was advised that it would go away, which it did, but it kept coming back. By the summer of 1999 I was signed off due to my wrist pain becoming so chronic. At the time I was a brown belt in Japanese Jujitsu, as well as practising other martial arts like Wado Ryu Karate and Nippon Kempo, so I had to stop training to allow myself time to heal. The trouble is I never really healed, instead the pain eventually diminished to a background level, but would spike up occasionally to a more severe level.
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After a year’s break I was told to get back on with my life, so I returned to martial arts training but now I had to be careful. I had a whole list of worries about returning to training: I was still in pain, my skills had deteriorated, I was physically unfit and had gained weight, I had worries about my injuries getting worse. A major issue was the worry of embarrassment for me and my training partners in an awkward situation because with certain things I would need special considerations: no wrist locks, ever! Crucially my fear was proven true as I met people who thought I was pretending to have a disability to avoid committing to hard work.
Considering I had trained for years and put a lot of effort in, including even full contact fighting in armour, the idea that I was avoiding hard work was extremely disrespectful, never mind any suggestion that I was hiding behind a fake disability. I had learned to accept the fact that I was never going to be an exceptional martial artist, but I could still do things, and the whole point is you don’t give up.
Eventually I got my black belt in Japanese Jujitsu (JJ), but it doesn’t mean you are an expert just that you’ve learnt some things. I started assisting with teaching, and then running my own classes, it was often fun and I found I could learn by teaching. I returned to Karate, and also started training kung fu. The whole time I would have wrist problems, sometimes quite badly, but again I did my best to manage things and keep going. A few years later I got my 2nd dan in JJ.
Unfortunately whilst training in Kung Fu I got an injury with my left hip that has never gone away. Despite a lot of physio and seeing specialists, the psoas minor muscle won’t heal properly and it has left the area weak. When I relax it wants to move out of alignment and is painful, I have to sleep in a certain position to avoid this problem; my RSI already often affects my sleep.
For years I wanted to train Judo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ), so despite the same apprehensions mentioned above, about having to explain my situation to a whole new bunch of people, I started training in these styles. After training in Judo for a short while I also started BJJ. My first lesson of BJJ was great, and although I was familiar with many of the basic concepts of ground fighting I had not done that much practice of it; knowing about a thing does not make you good at it. I was really impressed with the teaching of someone who was to become an important part of my life, Mr Gary Savage of Sukata MMA.
Unfortunately I had to take a break from Judo and BJJ due to how bad my hip became, as well as my wrists, but after two years of physio and my wrists getting a lot better I was able to return to training. I was welcomed back by Gary, being back training again was awesome, even though I could barely do a single push-up or sit up, and despite the small amount of knowledge in my head my body just didn’t react well to get even what I did know to work. Within a few weeks I was training more than one session a week, and by then I could do nearly 10 push-ups without my wrists complaining.
By 2014 I am training 8 to 9 hours a week. I am a 4 tag blue belt, doing some assistant teaching and even running my own little throwing session. My fitness was starting to approach what it had been before developing my major injuries. Then at the end of November 2014 something tore in my right bicep whilst lifting some boxes, this led to a few months of recovery. In the mean-time I had started developing a problem with my right elbow, which the doctor said was ‘tennis elbow’, I was given some exercises to help, it took a long-time to heal, but was still extremely weak.
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In February 2015 I was able to go back training, and I had even lost weight due to changing my eating regime, so I actually felt good when returning to training. A few weeks later I badly banged my left elbow at home on a door frame (!*&!), and after applying some witch hazel it swelled up quite badly! Throughout the first half of 2015 I have only done a bit of light training, and very little BJJ rolling, but I have assisted with teaching beginners because it is better to turn up and do something, than nothing.
Amazingly Mario ‘Sukata’ Neto moved to Blackpool and is the head coach of our club, which is now called ITC. His teaching and technical knowledge is amazing, but I have barely been able to train under him. Since he doesn’t know me, and hasn’t seen me train properly I worried about having to explain my situation to Mario. My paranoid inner monologue returned to yet again given me many reasons to quit, suggesting that by discussing things.
Thoughts that I would appear weak, cowardly, pathetic and called out as a liar, that if I trained I would get really bad injured, that I would piss off my training partners for not being a poor training partner. Also that training under someone of Mario’s ability would be a disservice to him because he should be teaching people who want to be champions. Years early I’d had the same paranoid thoughts when I first went to Gary, and had to fight those demons then, I could do so again. Like Gary, of course Mario understands hard work and what it means to have bad injuries, so unsurprisingly in reality he was understanding and helpful. With my injuries slowly getting better I was starting to get optimistic, that soon I could fight my way back to the previous October’s level of fitness and health.
Then in July my RSI escalated from minor to severe level, my doctor said it was likely so bad due to the injuries with my arms. Additionally my shoulders have also become really painful, but we think we have figured out how to fix this, I’ll explain that in another post.
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So it’s now November and overall things are a tiny bit better. Following on from a previous post I made about long-term injuries, or disability, eventually you have to get back on with your life as best as you can. I kept Gary up to date, and then I went to the gym to chat in person. Gary suggested I again assist with beginners, to turn up and do what I can, that as normal I would have support. Although I am once again unable to do more than a press-up due to muscle weakness and pain, and again I have put weight on, plus there are new people at the club and thus likely a whole bunch of awkwardness, but it’s about not giving up. Like so many others I have found BJJ is overall full of welcoming practitioners, that I have my long-time great instructor Gary, and another great instructor in Mario that I’d like to get to know more. I have gotten back on the mats so many times after small and big problems, I can do so again.
Life is for living, as best as you can. You don’t tap out to life, because if you do, you are dead!
Batjutsu 