{"@attributes":{"version":"2.0"},"channel":{"title":"Abby's Journal Thingy","link":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/","description":"Abby's Journal Thingy - LiveJournal.com","lastBuildDate":"Mon, 04 Oct 2010 15:22:21 GMT","generator":"LiveJournal \/ LiveJournal.com","copyright":"NOINDEX","image":{"url":"https:\/\/l-userpic.livejournal.com\/100055666\/1390410","title":"Abby's Journal Thingy","link":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/","width":"100","height":"100"},"item":[{"guid":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/377823.html","pubDate":"Mon, 04 Oct 2010 15:22:21 GMT","title":"Busy busy busy","author":"avichan","link":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/377823.html","description":"I apparently no longer take pleasure in keeping a daylog. I did it for years. Even at my busiest, I still carved out a slot in my day to keep track of what had gone on, no matter how mundane. And now more than a month has gone by before my last entry. Huh.
Most days\/weeks have been the same: more time at work than at home. It's paying off on the money front, more or less, which is nice. I've been able to buy new clothes, buy things for the house, and put money into savings. I've been able to go out to dinner and treat people, or buy a bottle of wine (or two) if it suits me. I'm not completely worry-free when it comes to money, but it's nice to not be pulling my hair out about it. I know I could be better (example: I did not need the manicure of this past Friday, especially since I've already chipped the polish badly on two nails), so I will strive to be so. Things are beginning to balance out, though, at least in regards to my own finances, and I feel better about money-related things.
I've been emotionally stressed out both at work and at home. I do a fair job of faking it at Target, since people there really don't know me and it's easy to fake being happy if you try hard enough and are busy enough. It's harder to do at Cathedral, where people know me a bit better and spend more extended time with me. Ricardo even flat out said he was worried about me at a time I thought I was hiding things rather well. I always let things bother me too much and I always get too caught up in things, and I know I'm doing it again in regards to Cathedral work and some issues at home. They'll all work out. They won't work themselves out, so to speak; I will have to put the work into making them work out. But they will.
In the meantime, I will spend my days as I often do when they get difficult: perservering and looking forward to fun things. It's fall, which is always nice. Our one year anniversary is fast approaching. More things will come up to look forward to, as they always do, and the fact that I'll be able to enjoy them will make it all worthwhile.
Back to worky #1. Thank God for No Organist Mornings. I realise I've just jinxed myself.","comments":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/377823.html?view=comments#comments","category":["perserverance","brain full","worky"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/377454.html","pubDate":"Mon, 30 Aug 2010 21:31:21 GMT","title":"Day off.","author":"avichan","link":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/377454.html","description":"I am trying to find a way to have a proper day off on Labor Day. If I work a night shift at Target that Friday, which I think I do, then I can work Cathedral during the day and Target at night. If I work a day shift at Target, then I have to go in on Labor Day. Boo. Because the online system doesn't like to work anywhere other than Target itself, checking on this will have to wait until Wednesday. Here's hoping it works out. Otherwise, I will be working pretty much an entire month with no full days off. This is not conducive to sanity.
I don't think I can last another twenty minutes here. Think I'm just going to skive off. I'm basically playing a waiting game with Ricardo regarding the calendar, and I really just don't feel like playing today.","comments":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/377454.html?view=comments#comments","category":["argh","worky"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/377139.html","pubDate":"Sat, 14 Aug 2010 22:01:43 GMT","title":"Feeling good.","author":"avichan","link":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/377139.html","description":"Tonight, Lowell and I are going to this little restaurant he found on Yelp ages ago when looking for Korean food (I think...the place has Korean stuff listed). It's not a fancy restaurant. Images of food from the place are shown in baskets, metal bowls, and sitting on trays. After Lowell's curiosity and hunger have been sated, we'll kill some time in Lakeview or Lincoln Park until we pick Alex, Kristin, and Ange up from the White Sox game. Karaoke was bandied about, and we'll be trying another Yelp find. This place also looks fairly casual.
I am dressed up by no means. I'm wearing jeans, a new t-shirt, a fun necklace, and wedges. But I feel good about the way I look. I'm not especially bothered by the fact that I know I'm at least thirty pounds overweight, and more like fifty, if we're going for the doctor-prescribed \"healthy\" weight for my height. I spent time with makeup and my hair, and found a good combination that works with the outfit in general. Overall, I am pleased and hope to continue to be pleased. This could change in a heartbeat, I know. But for right now, I'm going to revel in the fact that I feel that I look fantastic.
And now, to wait for Lowell to finish getting ready so we can enjoy a night on the town.","comments":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/377139.html?view=comments#comments","category":["girly stuff","scandalous","outings"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/376919.html","pubDate":"Wed, 04 Aug 2010 15:01:06 GMT","title":"Learning and relearning.","author":"avichan","link":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/376919.html","description":"The next few months, should everything work out, I will be inundated by learning and relearning. There's all the new Targety things I need to know, such as what can be returned and what can't in guest services, where all of that goes, and what to do with everything that comes in there. I'll be learning what to do and what to not while ringing sales, who to contact while doing so, and how to get through each shift being fun, fast, and friendly. I'll be learning the language, because Target assuredly has its own language. I'll learn how to make every second of every break and lunch count, so I can get through each shift and feel good at the end of it.
The thing I'll be relearning the most is patience. This will apply to both jobs, though as of late, it seems to apply more to Cathedral work than Target. The clientele at Target is generally friendly and understanding; indeed, in the few days I've worked, I've only seen one guest truly upset about something (she insisted an item was one price, when our system said it wasn't, and she angrily told us to change our signage, then). At Cathedral, it seems like every other bride or groom is problematic. The requests they're making aren't necessarily extravagant or unreasonable, to be fair. They're just against the policies we've had set for at least as long as I've been here, and some for infinitely longer. Most of these problems come from our off-site chapel. The rules and policies there are a bit more lax, but only for the chapel itself. Music rules are the same as they are at Cathedral, which can come as a shock to couples who've been told \"yes\" to every other request they've had regarding their wedding Mass. It's very hard to have to be the one to tell these couples \"no\", especially since most of their requests are, as mentioned, reasonable.
Most of it stems from the rigidity of our policies. I understand that. We can't bend the rules when we want to, because then why do we even have them? There'd be no point. It does make our lives easier, in some aspects, to have the same firm policies at both locations. It makes it harder, too.
Some of it stems from the mentality of the wedding world, as it were. When I was preparing for our wedding, all the wedding magazines\/websites\/whatever, said the same thing: read all the rules and policies for all the vendors\/sites\/etc. Make sure you understand what they can and cannot do, and what they expect. If they have a rule that goes against something you want, talk to them about it, and try to see if you can get what you want. After all, it's your big day! Big day or not, that doesn't mean you should get everything you want exactly how you want it. Life just doesn't work that way. And it makes it infintely more trying when couples do not realise that.
There's more difficulties involved, some of which involve our rules vs. other churches' rules, our staff vs. the staff as a whole, and even more, but getting into it is just going to upset me further. I've gone over and over this in my head, with others, and it isn't going to change anytime soon. Suffice it to say that it seems like weddings are getting more and more difficult, and I don't know what to do to make it otherwise. I'm frankly sick of thinking about it.
...which just goes to show exactly how far I need to go to relearn patience.","comments":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/376919.html?view=comments#comments","category":"worky"},{"guid":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/376415.html","pubDate":"Wed, 28 Jul 2010 20:42:50 GMT","title":"Getting ready.","author":"avichan","link":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/376415.html","description":"There are lots of things to anticipate, lots of things to look forward to, lots of things to think about.
I had my orientation at Target this past Monday. It was fairly intense. I want to be the best worker I can be, and I know it's not going to be an easy job. Even just after the orientation, I wonder if this will be a good fit. I'm used to smaller teams, for one thing. The store I will be working at has over 200 employees. I realise I will not see all of them, most likely. It's still rather intimidating. They have their own language, practically, what with all the different terminology. They thought up new terms for a heirarchy so that it didn't seem like there was one. It's all going to be hard to keep track of, to be sure. I hope I can handle it. I will certainly give it my best.
It's going to be intersting trying to balance two jobs again. The most difficult part is going to be the commute. The Target store that was hiring was up on Willow Road in Glenview, the village that Lowell's company now resides (Glenview expanded into parts of Northbrook, I think). My thought was that if they would hire me for weekends primarily, I could easily take Lowell's car or have him drop me off or whatever on his way from work. That's how it'll work next Friday, when I am scheduled to work the new produce section and as a cashier. However, I put that I could work weeknights, and they're taking me up on that thus far. I found that there is a suburban bus that runs along Willow Road, and I can get to it either from the Purple Line or the Milwaukee District North Metra line. However, like most suburban buses, it runs infrequently. I found out the hard way how infrequently when I saw the schedule at the terminal and saw the next bus wasn't leaving that area until 3:30, the time of my orientation. I ended up having to take a cab out to the store, something I cannot afford to do every time I work. The next few night shifts I have (tomorrow, and Tuesday\/Wednesday next) I will have to try two other routes. If I find that it's going to be more trouble than it's worth, commute wise, it will probably not be worth it to keep that as a second job. If I had a car, it'd be much more convenient and less expensive, and I won't have to worry about catching a certain bus or train home when I work a closing shift. I need to investigate the whole CTA\/I-GO thing a little more thoroughly, seeing as the Yellow Line Terminal is an I-Go station.
I love to ramble.
I have about an hour and fifteen minutes left before I can leave work. I have three things I could be doing. Two of those things I am trying to leave for tomorrow, so I have something to do after I do the usual morning catch-up work. One thing is, in my mind, reliant on approval from my boss. He said to send the calendar and contracts to the professional singers today, seeing as he is asking for their signed contracts by Sunday next. At the same time, however, he asked me to send him the calendar for approval. Does this mean I still send the professional singers the calendar? Or do I wait for his approval to do so? This is a situation that no matter what I do, it'll be wrong. If I send it, he'll respond with corrections to the calendar or additions and will tell me not to send it yet. If I don't send it, he'll respond much later with the question of how many singers have sent their contracts back. Either way, I'm boned. I'm currently of a mindset that, if I'm boned if I do and boned if I don't (too much Futurama for me, it seems), I might as well wait one day, send it tomorrow before I leave, and hope for the best. Will have to make some sort of notation that it is not a final calendar, but that would mean the singers had the right to not send their contracts in until it is done. So yeah, no winning.
At least there is fun stuff on the horizon. The now yearly trip out to Indiana starts in a mere day and a half, and I am greatly looking forward to it. The first year we went, I had no coffee and slept most of the weekend away. I also got truly epic sunburn from our day at the beach. The second year we went, I remembered the sunscreen and the coffee, but was sick and coughing the weekend away (wonder if that was a pneumonia, too...). This year, I'm ready. I will have sunscreen, coffee, and currently have no cough. It will be sunny and the waves will be big enough to face check. I'll be with some of my favorite people in the entire universe. LOTR Trivial Pursuit will be played, and Daria will be marathoned. All in all, awesome.
The next trip after that (other than to nearby places for end of summer events and fall-tivities) will be a road trip up to the Twin Cities with Lowell to celebrate our one-year anniversary. Lowell wants to go to the Mall of America, and I want to stay at a fancy hotel and live in the bathtub the room will provide. I also love Minnesota, so this works out well for both parties. The thing I just thought of is that we need to tell his parents of this. Nana (who I desperately need to work up the patience to call) mentioned any number of times how Lowell's father said something of throwing a party for our one year anniversary. I do not know if he was serious or not. If he was, they need to know we will not be in town for it before they do anything. Seeing as we were not consulted in regards to the shower date Lowell's mother threw us, I somehow see us not being consulted about this. If he was not, all the better. I am growing more weary of reflecting comments and questions about my lack of pregnancy and their lack of imminent grandchildren. It makes me feel like it is all I am good for, and the only thing we could do to make them happy, and that doesn't help this lingering \"I'm not good enough for anyone\" feeling I've got going on.
One more hour. If one of my singers would email me back, I could get started on one of my projects for tomorrow. I suppose I'll find something to do.","comments":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/376415.html?view=comments#comments","category":["commuting","vacations","married life","outings","brain full","family","worky"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/376011.html","pubDate":"Thu, 22 Jul 2010 15:49:33 GMT","title":"Because I like lists...","author":"avichan","link":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/376011.html","description":"Upcoming events!
7\/23\/10 -- wedding rehearsal at St. James\/babysitting at Millenium Park
7\/24\/10 -- birthday party
7\/25\/10 -- wedding at St. James
7\/26\/10 -- Aunt Trish's surgery in Dallas\/orientation at Target (yes, I'm working two jobs again)
7\/27\/10 -- PST
7\/28\/10 -- domesticity
7\/29\/10 -- choir party in Northbrook (only for a short while; packing must commence!)
7\/30\/10 -- Non-Weekend begins!
7\/31\/10 -- MI City for beachy goodness
8\/1\/10 -- home from Non-Weekend
8\/7\/10 -- baby shower for cousin Kristin\/engagement party (work) in Oak Lawn
8\/13\/10 -- babysitting at Millenium Park (?)\/Star Party\/Ange in town!
8\/14\/10 -- wedding at St. James\/Ange in town!
8\/28\/10 -- Gaming League!
...I know I'm forgetting things 'cause I'm awesome like that.
WHEW.
Back to worky.","comments":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/376011.html?view=comments#comments","category":["omg","outings","lists","worky"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/375684.html","pubDate":"Thu, 08 Jul 2010 15:17:36 GMT","title":"Well. That worked out, mostly.","author":"avichan","link":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/375684.html","description":"This weekend's bride was HIGH maintenence, but it looks like we are good to go there. I will still heave a great sigh of relief once 4:00 PM or so rolls around on Saturday, when I know that wedding is over and we hopefully don't have to deal with that again.
The guest singer bride found out that her proposed guest singer had a conflict, so she will not have a guest singer at all. She sent along her selections last night, so all is done there.
The third bride is still somewhat difficult. She sent along quite a few selections I'd never seen used at wedding Masses, and I highly doubt they will be approved. I think she chose, like, a five minute song for the Sign of Peace, a part of the Mass that lasts (at most) a minute and a half. Even if the bride and groom go and hug every member of their bridal party, both sets of parents and grandparents, and head back to their spots on the altar, it still won't take five minutes. I also might have to hire a string quartet for her in the space of a week and a half. Damnation. Nothing I can do about that one until Monday, though.
Tonight I get the all-important job of heating dinner while Lowell and Alex are out running. I will also be continuing the never-ending battle against laundry. I have to get all of it out of the basement by Friday next, if my grand plan of cleaning the basement that Saturday is going to come to fruition. And it is. Just like my grand plan of cleaning the garage that Sunday is going to, as well. Booyah.
Time to keep myself busy for the next five and a half hours.","comments":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/375684.html?view=comments#comments","category":["house stuff","worky"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/375343.html","pubDate":"Wed, 07 Jul 2010 15:17:23 GMT","title":"Too much to do.","author":"avichan","link":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/375343.html","description":"The office to-do list isn't too large. It's a lot of work, but only a few items. Three of the items involve high maintenence brides. One of them is the one who yelled at me and told me I didn't know how to do my job and called me a liar. I don't think she realises that I'm that same person, because she has prefaced pretty much every phone call with me with \"I don't know who I spoke with before, but...\". Her wedding is Saturday, and I just want it to be OVER.
The other two are for two weekends from now, with one on Saturday and one on Sunday. There have been communication difficulties with that one, and she made things more complicated by switching her guest singer thinking we'd just approve her because she'd sung here before. My boss has been here since 2002-ish, and he said he'd never worked with her. So she still has to abide by policy and send in a recording. The bride is freaking out about it, and I'm trying to soothe her yet reaffirm that she still has to abide by policy. When I called her to get her music selections, I figured she had them, since she made it sound like she had everything ready other than her guest singer. Nope. I spent thirty minutes on the phone with her while she listened to selections online. She still has to get a few to me, but hopefully that part can be squared away today.
The one on Sunday has been difficult because of the wedding coordinator, though the bride has not been much better. The one thing they keep asking is to come and hear the organ at the chapel played before the wedding. Not only is that not possible, I've already told them that the organ is required for all weddings that we arrange. So whether they like the sound or not, it's going to be used. I left a message repeating that fact a little while ago, and I am not looking forward to getting a call back later today from the coordinator.
At least all three are over in the space of about a fortnight and I'll never have to think about them again. I'll then get to look forward to September and October, where we have pretty much every wedding slot filled. Whee!
I have to ring my mother at some point. We've not talked since...Thursday, maybe? I have a feeling she is irked with me for not going out to IN for Fourth of July, though I didn't promise I would be there. I need to finalize the yard sale stuff with her for this weekend. If she is not having the sale for some reason, I need to see if I can go out there this weekend just because; maybe Friday night to Saturday night? Will have to try to make it work.
I also have to get the rest of the house cleaned. I took care of the kitchen last night (and again this morning), but there's still the living room that needs straightening (the clutter is driving me batty), the guest bedroom that needs organizing, the master bedroom that needs proper cleaning (that's my fault; my side of the room is all dusty and ick), and laundry that needs doing and sorting and all other nonsense. In case I do go away overnight, I'd like to not have to worry about it when I'm gone.
As for right now, I need to mail some music and get to work on the lockers. That job WILL get done today.","comments":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/375343.html?view=comments#comments","category":["argh","brain full","worky"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/375242.html","pubDate":"Mon, 28 Jun 2010 17:40:07 GMT","title":"Weekend aftermath.","author":"avichan","link":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/375242.html","description":"It's a standard Monday at work, albeit a few hours later. Problem is, my mind is focused on the clock, and I'm in a slight panic about getting everything done before I leave...except for the fact that I'm not leaving in two and a half hours, I'm leaving in four and a half hours. That is plenty of time to get everything done on my list, and possibly then some. A quick lunch at my desk will suffice. Indeed, I shouldn't be hungry at all, seeing the vast array of delicious foods I ate this weekend. Yet here I am.
I feel like I should be at Mass right now, to say some extra thanks. I've had generally amazing weekends this entire month. It started with the awesomeness that was Sarah and Jamie's birthdays at The Publican, and rounded out this past weekend with Scandal-Con Midwest 2010. Sally and Ryan arrived Thursday and had lunch with Alex and me before heading out to visit the city and go to a wedding, and Jillian and Kelsi arrived Friday evening and spent the weekend at three different abodes. It was a blast. Anya cooked us delicious dinner on Friday evening, we spent Saturday at the Art Institute, Millenium Park and thereabouts, and then at Alex's, and Sunday brought everyone together at the Museum of Science and Industry. The general consensus seems to be epic exhaustion. We could not have had a more fun-filled and food-filled weekend, but it takes its toll. Methinks everyone involved will sleep very well tonight.
July looks to be nearly as busy. I am taking Lowell to Chi Tung for his birthday dinner tomorrow, and we are having people over to play games and celebrate his birthday on Saturday. The following weekend I've devoted to my mother and her yard sale, which means I need to make sure I bring the sunscreen. Here's hoping there's no rain. The weekend after that is free, as far as I know, but that may change. Joint Birthday Celebrations follow the next weekend, and out-of-town weekend is slated for the last weekend in July. Whew! If it's all as amazing as June has been, it might easily be the best summer ever.
My list is not completing itself, so I suppose I should get on that. Many thanks again for an epic weekend, and an epic June as a whole. Yay! :D","comments":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/375242.html?view=comments#comments","category":["weekend update","scandalous","outings","yay!"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/374875.html","pubDate":"Wed, 23 Jun 2010 15:55:25 GMT","title":"Grr and argh.","author":"avichan","link":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/374875.html","description":"This work week has been too stupidly busy. I know this will ease up once the organ concert series gets underway, since much of it has been preparation for the event. Still, though. It's not supposed to be so busy in the summertime! The fact that I've misplaced my office keys isn't helping anything along. I'm also supposed to be working in the library and finishing my locker project this week, two things that are difficult without easy access to keys. Oh, well. I'll get through it.
There's things to look forward to, as always. Jill, Kelsi, and Sally are all in this weekend, and fun stuff is planned while they are in town. Tomorrow is Futurama Day, which I am incredibly excited about. I need to work out a few particulars regarding the rest of July, but it looks to be both fun filled and action packed. Cleaning out the basement and the garage must be worked into the mix somehow, as both are incredibly overdue.
What I need right now is a full night's sleep. For the past month or so, I've woken up more or less without fail at 2:30 AM and 4:30 AM, and then it takes another fifteen minutes or so to fall asleep. This is making it harder to get out of bed every morning. It needs to stop.
Librarying, then lunching, then plaquing, then internet posting, then home!","comments":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/374875.html?view=comments#comments","category":["sleepy","outings","worky"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/374578.html","pubDate":"Mon, 21 Jun 2010 11:05:31 GMT","title":"Too vivid dreams.","author":"avichan","link":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/374578.html","description":"I slept a lot yesterday. Part of it was a hangover, part of it was overtiredness from the day before, part of it was because Father's Day is a difficult day for me, even five years later. I don't anticipate it getting any easier. I slept from noon until three (thus missing brunch with Lowell's family), dozed a little bit later on, then crashed for the night around 10:00. The first sleeps were deep and dreamless. The overnight one was not.
The first part of the dream was something of a repeat of one I've had before. It didn't necessarily start as one: I was starting a new job in an office building filled with cubicles, the kind where you have to maneuver between banks of them to get anywhere. I did not get a cubicle of my own, but had to share a bank of grade-school-style desks with five other people, some that I knew and some that I did not. One guy that I did not know brought an extra sandwich to work and a gave it to me, and I promised to bring him one the next day.
I next found myself outside with Maryam and her cousin, and we got caught up in something of a battle. I had kicked and punched some guys that were threatening us, and next we knew, we were getting stones catapulted at us as we ran along a river. We found Lowell at some point and ran into a house where a party was being held, so as to get lost in the crowd. This was managed, and no one was after us anymore.
Lowell, Maryam, and Nadia disappeared after that, and the house became a \"massage parlor\". I'd come there for a massage, but people were mostly coming there for massages of a different sort. I then somehow became part of the staff, and the rest of the dream became almost disturbingly sexual. Everywhere you looked, someone was catering to someone else, usually in groups rather than pairs. A lot of this is seared in my mind, which is something I don't want an hour before I need to go into work.
I wish I could go back to sleep and not dream. A dream-free sleep tonight would be heavenly.","comments":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/374578.html?view=comments#comments","category":["sleepy","dreams"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/374407.html","pubDate":"Fri, 18 Jun 2010 19:09:12 GMT","title":"Almost Gaming Day!","author":"avichan","link":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/374407.html","description":"I've done just about everything I can do in preparation for Gaming Day. I'll be doing some shopping in about an hour, will do more shopping once I can extract Lowell from work, and will continue doing laundry until every bit of it is done. Then I will go to sleep. When I wake up, I'll set up anything I want set up for the evening, vacuum the couch, cover the couch, shower, dress, and be ready for a day of awesome fun with awesome people. Boo-freaking-yah.
I am going to be so tired on Sunday. But it will be so worth it.","comments":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/374407.html?view=comments#comments","category":["house stuff","weather and the state of the roads"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/373509.html","pubDate":"Thu, 03 Jun 2010 13:08:39 GMT","title":"This is stupid.","author":"avichan","link":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/373509.html","description":"I hate wardrobe crises. There really should be no need to have to put on four or five different outfits (read: tops) before finally settling. There's even less need when someone is waiting on you. When I got to outfit three today, I curtly sent Lowell on his way, 'cause I felt bad about delaying him because I hate the way I look. No matter what I've tried on for the past few weeks, I've hated everything. I feel bigger than I am, I feel like nothing fits right or looks right, I feel lumpy and short and ugly. The sad thing is that when I'm walking around after I've finally resigned myself to wearing what I'm wearing, I don't feel as huge. I feel the way I felt thirty pounds ago, when I was between a size ten and twelve and felt like I was turning heads when I walked by. It's such an odd contradiction and it's getting to the point that I can't handle it any more.
Lowell left about fifteen or twenty minutes ago. I've been crying over all this stupidity for about that long. There's a \"resigned to\" outfit in the dryer ironing (and in the case of the camisole, drying), and I'll throw some heels on, suck it up, and go through another day of contradictions. I'll have to stay about an hour later than anticipated, since I'll not get downtown when I usually do, but it'll have to suffice. I cannot lose any more hours than I'm going to lose on this paycheck. If I could, I'd stay home today.
I'm really hoping some of this is hormonal. As much as I'd like to be pregnant, three negative tests do not equal a positive result, and the hints of cramps I've been feeling the past two days point more towards my period starting soon than anything else. I'm going to have to resign myself to that, too, and keep reminding myself that it's fine. These things take time. That's all I've heard the past few weeks, and all I've read since we agreed that we were ready to start having kids. It's grown tiresome, only because it keeps repeating itself in my head. It's also conflicting with the continual feeling of failure in that department, since Lowell's parents keep asking about grandchildren.
I've adjusted my diet slightly, but it looks like I'm going to have to do more of that. I've been avoiding working out like the plague, because I am lazy. Lowell is much more dedicated to working out than I am, and I let it affect me. That's probably one of the biggest hurdles I need to overcome. I don't have to work out when he does. I don't have to work out the same way. But I have to do it. I can't spend every morning frantically trying to find the outfit that doesn't make me look lumpy or ungainly. I can't spend every morning crying like an idiot over something that's within my control. I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I'm going to have to figure that out on my own. This is a stupid way to live and I'm sick of it.","comments":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/373509.html?view=comments#comments","category":"brain full"},{"guid":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/373398.html","pubDate":"Tue, 01 Jun 2010 18:35:38 GMT","title":"Start of June","author":"avichan","link":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/373398.html","description":"This is going to be an incredibly busy and rewarding month:
June 4: BIRTHDAYS!!
June 5: Blinds finally installed.
June 7-8: Max and Adina in town!
June 12: Starved Rock
June 18: Massage
June 19: Dim sum and Gaming League
June 20: Father's Day
June 22-24: Jon in town (TBC)
June 25-28: Jill, Kelsi, and Sally in town!
June 29: LOWELL'S BIRTHDAY OMG
WHEW. Methinks I will need all of July to recover. XD
Today has been very...odd, I guess. I spent most of my morning being irritable and then sad. Now that the work issues have been more or less resolved, I am more or less resigned to the rest of the day. I have to go shopping with my boss around 3:00 PM for wine, fruit, and possibly dessert for the mini-party-thing he is throwing for the professional choir. I believe we are ording a Thai curry thing, as well, but I am waiting for a confirm from him on that. After I am all set up with that, I get to babysit for about two and a half hours. I will then bolt out of the building and head to the Metra, as that is the mode of transportation I've opted for to get home. I will have a cheap but delicious martini at the bar in the train station, take the train to Morton Grove, then take a nice evening walk home. Booyah.
I will need to go get another small coffee when Ricardo heads over for a meeting at 2:00 PM. I'm assuredly drowsy right now. This mid-late afternoon sleepiness thing is killing me.","comments":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/373398.html?view=comments#comments","category":["blah","house stuff","lists","commuting","coffee","schedule","sleepy","brain full","worky"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/372898.html","pubDate":"Mon, 24 May 2010 15:06:30 GMT","title":"Ease it back a bit.","author":"avichan","link":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/372898.html","description":"As of today, we are down to two choirs rehearsing. One of those two, I have little to no involvement with, so in my mind, we only have one. This is a HUGE weight off my shoulders. Even though the three choirs that are done as of today are generally much less work for me than the professional choir, it's nice that we only have to worry about the professional choir. They have one more rehearsal (this Thursday), two more Sundays with Masses, and one more \"event\" (they are singing for a Confirmation service on the first of June). Then they are done, and all that remains for me is cantors, weddings, funerals, and day-to-day miscellaney for three glorious months. I think I can handle this.
The next few days will be VERY laid back. When I get home tonight, I will do laundry, clean the kitchen, straighten the living room, and play Trials and Tribulations. Tomorrow on Day Off the First, I will clean\/organise the guest bedroom, do more laundry, organise things in the basement, and play Trials and Tribulations. On Wednesday, Day Off the Second, I will finish all the laundry, work out, do some random cleaning, and play Trials and Tribulations. Lowell will help me move furniture in the guest room on one of these days, and it will be ready for Kate when she is in town this weekend. Thursday is work and dinner with three of my singers. Friday is Day Off the Third, which will be the true day off. I will see Million Dollar Quartet with the girls, and it will be swell. Huzzah!
My fangirling over Miles Edgeworth might have reached a ridiculous point. Just need to get that out in the open right now. But I am enjoying the hell out of these games, and will continue to do so until there are no more games to enjoy. Then I will probably play them again. Not right away, of course, but very soon.
Other games-wise, Lowell picked up Red Dead Redemption last week, and we've been enjoying the hell out of it. I like the voice actor chosen to play the lead. I also enjoy the little posse the main character puts together in the first half (third? Who knows?) of the game. It consists of the main character, a crazy gravedigger, a drunk, unlucky Irishman, and a snake oil salesman. They are fantastic.
Our wedding DVD from the videographer could be here as early as the end of this week, though it will most likely be next week. I am more excited about this than I care to admit.
There's a lot going on in the brain, as per usual, but I should probably get payroll done. Breaktime be over.","comments":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/372898.html?view=comments#comments","category":["house stuff","video games","wedding aftermath","worky"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/372528.html","pubDate":"Mon, 17 May 2010 16:12:12 GMT","title":"Sweet solitude.","author":"avichan","link":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/372528.html","description":"I am basking in the silence of my office. Mondays are usually a day sorely lacking in such. David is out, which does cut the noise level down a great deal, but Ricardo is in, and adds his own sort of noise. We've had a few moments of panic already, though both largely unnecessary. He's readying to play a memorial mass right now, then will play 12:10 Mass, then will hopefully go to lunch and leave me with a final hour of silence. I'll be able to get everything done today, including what he's added to my list, and will leave feeling more than accomplished. That is, of course, if it all goes according to plan. Most of life doesn't.
This next week will likely be filled with moments of panic, crises, and so forth. This upcoming weekend is incredibly busy around here. Only two weddings, one Friday and one Saturday, but still full. One set of ordinations is on Saturday morning, and the other is Sunday afternoon. Sunday also is the last big choral Sunday of the season, with all three choirs joining together at the 11:00 AM Mass. After that is our yearly potluck, one that is more hastily planned than any since I've been here. It'll go through well, and everyone will enjoy spending time together before departing for a summer, but I know it will be hectic. The professional choir will only get to be down there for about an hour before their call time for the ordinations, and many members of the ladies choir and the volunteer choir will not be there at all. It will be nice either way, and we will have a good time. It'll just be a little more hectic than usual.
I am on the clock for Sunday, as I am legitimately working from the time I get there until the time I leave. I also have to be in Monday to turn in payroll. I do get time off because of this, though, on Tuesday and Wednesday. So next week will be a little easier than others. The following week holds a national holiday, so I'll have another short week. And then night shifts end, and I'll work a somewhat \"normal\" schedule for three months. Such bliss.
We got the living room mostly taken care of on Sunday. I'd like to run the robot vacuum for a little while in there. We can't get it finished until we get the new guest bedroom finished, as some of the furniture from the living room will get swapped into the guest bedroom. Since I will be home tonight and Wednesday night, I hope to get every bit of laundry out of the basement. I'm sick of seeing a pile of linens in the basement, and it's taking up storage room besides. There's quite a few things we also need to get out of our bedroom and out of the nerd room and downstairs for storage. We also need to reorganize the basement in general and get rid of some of the stuff that's been sitting down there for almost a year and a half now. Now that we're working on taking out another loan that will hopefully cover waterproofing the basement, it's more pressing that we get things clean and organised downstairs.
Our wedding photo DVD came in on Saturday, and I've been having fun looking at the pictures that \"didn't make the cut\", so to speak, onto the slideshow that our photographer posted back in December. There's a few I need to order through her, since many of the 5x7s don't print well from Snapfish, and barely any of the 8x10s do, either. Now that we have these additional photos, we can finally (FINALLY) order the sponsors' gifts. Note to anyone planning to get married at any point in their life that doesn't invove running to the courthouse: you'll still be paying for wedding stuff long after the actual wedding is over. Blargh! Now all we need is the DVD proper, and we'll be good to go. That should be arriving any day now. I'm hoping it comes today, Wednesday, or Friday, though with my luck it'll be Tuesday, when I'm at work. Booerns.
We officially started with our friend Jon's guild on Gilneas on Sunday, and it was rather fun. We're looking to do Ragefire Chasm together on Sunday next. Lowell and I are two of the highest-level people in the guild, as we spent much more time this weekend playing than we realised. I don't know about Lowell, but I know I'm in competition with him, level-wise. I don't know why I'm bothering, as he always is better at WoW than me, but that's just how I am, I guess. Lowell is playing a Blood Elf Paladin (surprise surprise), and I'm a Tauren Druid. I am working on my cat form and already have my bear form. I'm a bear! :D We're going to play a bit more tonight, I believe, and then ease off for the remainder of the week. Most members of our guild are four or five levels below us, so we don't want to be too far ahead for next Sunday.
I think I've enjoyed my solitude for long enough. Time to get back to work.","comments":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/372528.html?view=comments#comments","category":["world of warcraft","house stuff","brain full","wedding aftermath","worky"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/372233.html","pubDate":"Mon, 10 May 2010 20:38:11 GMT","title":"Emptying the brain.","author":"avichan","link":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/372233.html","description":"I'm going to get spoiled by these four-hour Mondays. Last week was because we were getting measured for blinds in the front room (finally). This week was because I didn't sleep well last night, and, well, because I wanted to go home. It's easy to fill the missing two hours in on Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday, either by piling them on one (such as Wednesday of this week, as I will be staying downtown to babysit) or spreading them out over two of the days. I will likely have to nip this in the bud after today, though. Don't want to have to work an eight-hour Monday for a special event or something (or even a six-hour Monday) and have myself go stark raving mad.
I only have two more weeks of double-duty evening work. After May 23rd, the volunteer choirs (sans the Filipino choir) are on summer break, so I'll only have to work late on Thursdays, due to the professional choir still being on call. After June 7, the professional choir is done, and I will only work nights if I need to be home or running errands in the morning. That rarely happens, so from June 7 onwards, I get to work all days. I am somewhat looking forward to this. I do like my mornings off on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but this does free up two evenings in case I should want to do things like go for drinks and catch up with people. Plus, it's much easier to handle that office when the choirs are on break. Not only that, both organists usually take long vacations in the summer, so I get a great deal of freedom in the office.
Work has not been pleasant. Ricardo throws himself into the Ordinations head first, and we kind of get dragged along with him. I would have thought things would be a bit easier this year, what with being at home and all, but alas, things are still kind of crazy. Emotions are up and down on all fronts, communication fluctuates, and everyone ends up on edge. After re-reading entries from this time the past few years, this is not an uncommon occurrence. Some days I feel like I'm just treading water.
We also had a run in with a bride and groom who went against policy and hired their own musicians. It was very unpleasant, and we all got screamed at for various things. I don't know what's going to come of it, but I am having nothing else to do with it. I am not the best worker in the world, but I am not incompetent, as I had flung at me last week. I assume that someone in authority told her she went against policy and had to abide by our wishes, due to an email I received this morning, but it's still going to be an unpleasant month and a half until this wedding is over and done with.
Other weddings are coming along more or less smoothly, thank goodness. We seem to be keeping up with demand, as it were, and have as many weddings for the summer as we've had before. This will keep some of my cantors happy, which will keep me happy. Weddings, cantor stuff, and organ concerts are the main concerns this coming summer. I'll keep busy enough with all that.
I'm keeping busy at home with prolonged spring cleaning and gaming. We were thwarted in living room cleaning this weekend, but we have tonight, Friday, and Saturday to do that. The blinds will not be installed for at least another fortnight, so we do have time. Lowell might be having the guys over this weekend, though, so if he does, it'll have to be done by then. Shouldn't be a problem.
On the gaming front, I've been playing a bit more WoW than usual. One of our friends we met through A4 contacted us to possibly start a guild on another server and work our way up through the levels again. Lowell seems to want to wait until Cataclysm to do something like that, but I'm all for it. We're playing Horde on Gilneas, and it'll be interesting to see things from that perspective. I know I'll be playing Horde when I roll my goblin for Cataclysm (I will live in Kezan FOREVER (yes, I know about the phasing)), but this'll let me revisit the world one more time before it all explodes and such. I rolled a Tauren Druid, and she's just dinged level ten. Now to decide if I want to go feral or balance, as we already have a resto-Shaman. I know nothing of druids, other than Evie is one and Evie is awesome.
I also decided to start Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, and I'm having a lot of fun. I'm on the third case in that game, and I'm having problems putting the game down. I also love Miles Edgeworth. Just saying.
I'll be doing some reading this week, too. We are taking the baby plunge, so to speak, and I picked up the prequel (so to speak) to the highly-touted \"What to expect while you're expecting\" series. It's telling me things I already knew, which I expected, but I'm also getting some good pointers. I'm doing most things right, and am working on eating healthier and getting to a healthier weight, so who knows? Might have good news in that arena sooner than later. Trying to not get my hopes too high, though, as such things take time.
Pappy also informed me that a new Pendergast book drops tomorrow (OMG), so I might have to give up Starbucks for the week to pick that up. The last few books (all of the Pendergast\/Diogenes trilogy, Wheel of Darkness, and Cemetery Dance) were picked up the day they dropped, and finished within a few days after that. I'd like to keep this tradition, as I enjoy those books immensely. We shall see what happens.
Tonight will include laundry, cleaning, light weight-lifting, and napping. Must get started on the former and the latter now.","comments":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/372233.html?view=comments#comments","category":["married life","world of warcraft","house stuff","brain full","video games","books","worky"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/371985.html","pubDate":"Thu, 06 May 2010 16:03:28 GMT","title":"Some weekend planning.","author":"avichan","link":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/371985.html","description":"
Friday:
--drive Lowell to work
--get corrected ID and Driver's License (Social Security Card came! I am officially Mrs. Yap!)<\/strike>
--go to Woodfield and look for a new purse for spring\/summer
--also possibly purchase new tops from H&M (this one look I tried at H&M yesterday was really cute)
--go to Target for miscellaneous needs
--clean kitchen
--do laundry
--pick up Lowell from work
--Iron Man 2!
--Red Robin!<\/strike>
Saturday:
--go to bank to change names on account; must see if I can get a new credit card with a new name without having to get a new credit card number
--possibly talk to banker re: new loan stuff (that's Lowell's department; will likely go to Starbucks during this bit)
--go pick up Mother's Day plants for Nanay, Mom, and Nana
--grocery shopping
--help Sally put propane grill into truck
--clean living room (blinds will be installed within about a fortnight!)
--play more Mass Effect! (please?)
Sunday:
--lunch with Lowell's parents
--...something with the south side family, possibly. Otherwise, at least a visit to Nana to bring her flowers
--laundry
<\/a>
Must decide what girly thing to wear to work today. It's so springy and nice that I might as well mirror the weather. High spirits, whoo!","comments":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/371985.html?view=comments#comments","category":["married life","ordinary days","house stuff","movies","lists","family"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/371525.html","pubDate":"Mon, 03 May 2010 15:17:01 GMT","title":"Married life obstacles.","author":"avichan","link":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/371525.html","description":"I've found married life to be lovely, though in all honesty not exceptionally different from \"living together\" life. It's very nice to always have a companion, to have someone to be able to vent to and share with at any given monent. It's more than very nice to be able to share in the love that only continues to grow with each day, whether it be a day filled with peaks or pitfalls. I like it when people call me Mrs. Yap, I like wearing the wedding band along with my shiny and seeing Lowell wear his. I like it when people ask Lowell how his wife is doing, and I like being able to say I'm doing this or that with my husband.
It seems like the obstacle I'm going to have the most time getting over is the whole \"two families\" thing. The most recent frustration I'm having is with Mother's Day (Mothers' Day? I have no idea). I had Lowell ask his parents what they wanted to do for Mother's Day, and they mentioned going out for lunch to such and such a place. I then had him ask if I should invite my mother and Nana, or if it should be a \"Yap thing\". I never should have added that caveat, because now it is assuredly a Yap thing.
This is not the first time this has happened. The last time or two I've asked if I could invite members of my family to something, I wasn't told no, but I wasn't immediately told yes, either. There was a sudden silence, which I'm learning from his mother often means \"I don't like\/want this, but I don't want to offend\/upset you.\" So the last few times we've done anything with his parents, it's been just that: with his parents. The fact that this is the third or so time this has happened makes me paranoid that they do not like my family and do not want to say so to my face. I am likely overreacting, seeing as they are getting used to the whole \"my son is married and there is another family involved\" as much as we are, and as much as my family is. It's just slightly upsetting that my family has invited them to every holiday thing or event that we've had since we got engaged, and the only thing they've attended was Hans' wake and funeral. As far as I know right now, they only thing my family has been directly invited to has been the shower Lowell's mother threw for me when we got married.
I'm going to have to give this all time. I'm also going to have to set the pattern of what we do where and when. Something like Thanksgiving we could do bi-yearly, for example. Christmas is easy, since my side is all whacked out thanks to appeasing the matriarch, and Lowell's family is pretty set with what they do. Easter might be destined to be a two family affair, which is exhausting. We will have to set up something people come to us for, too, as that's how things often run (example: Maureen, as eldest sister on Mom's side, hosts big holidays like Thanksgiving and Easter, Judi has a Christmas Day open house thing, and Mom had the hog roast in the summer). It's going to be tough to balance, but the sooner we get into a habit, the better it will be.
So for Mother's Day, I will enjoy my time with Lowell's parents. This is her first Mother's Day with a daughter (so to speak), and I will do what I can to make it enjoyable for her. I will also attempt to curb my irritation should they ask us again where their grandchildren are, so as to not ruin the day.
If it gets asked, however, it will not be long after such a nice day that I will finally have to ask them to stop asking. It now feels like something owed to them, more than anything else. It also feels to me that it will be less exciting to announce it to them, since they feel the need to ask about it every time we see them. Oh, well.
Work, then home, then measuring for blinds (?), then laundry, then walking, then dinner, then chilling, then bed.","comments":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/371525.html?view=comments#comments","category":["married life","brain full","family","worky"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/371317.html","pubDate":"Sun, 02 May 2010 16:55:38 GMT","title":"Weekendy updatey.","author":"avichan","link":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/371317.html","description":"
This past Friday was my first off in a few weeks. I did a bit of cleaning, a bit of laundry, and more wine-drinking than I anticipated. Not enough to get sick, thankfully, but enough to get a good-natured buzz, at least in my mind. We did the usual Friday routine of grocery shopping and playing World of Warcraft, as well.
We've been running Molten Core with a group on Friday evenings, and I really wanted to run this past Friday so as to finally get my Robes of Prophecy and complete the set. It's not a set I can wear on a regular basis, though. Not anymore, anyway, due to the raised level cap. But I've always wanted it, and should I decide to RP with any sort of vigor, I will be glad to have it. It also looks awesome. Problem is, I was wrong about the Robes being my last item to complete the set. Turns out I either sold the gloves accidentally along the way, or never had them in the first place. And I do not think this particular group is running Molten Core on a regular basis anymore. Boo! Will just have to join a pick up group when next I see one heading to that particular raid, even though I am loathe to join such groups.
Saturday was productive, though less so than we planned. Lowell walked and jogged for an hour in his newly-invigorated goal of getting in shape and losing weight and lowering cholesterol. Instead of joining him, which would have been good, I remained home and vegetated, as I was more tired than I realised. We then went to Home Depot and FINALLY ordered vertical blinds to be installed in the front picture window. I believe the company they contract to install such things is coming on Monday to measure the windows for the blinds. They should be installed in about a fortnight, give or take. Lowell might also be calling to adjust our order, since the blinds I had been looking at were more expensive than I thought.
This will get our deep cleaning and reorganising of the front room into high gear, though, as we should probably have that done before the installation. It sounds like there is a ton to do, which there really isn't. It's the kind of stuff that should be done on a regular basis, but isn't: dusting the tops of stuff, washing windows, vacuuming the couch (cats are shedding like mad), and so forth. The dining room table is just a repository for random crap; for example, some of the wedding gifts I've yet to store or set out are chilling there, waiting for the living room and guest bedroom to get cleaned so I can do just that. So that'll be next Saturday, after a walk that I will not back out of that morning.
We also hit up Hackneys for lunch yesterday, which was nice. The weather report had been promising even on Friday, so we were determined to eat outside. We did indeed do so, but the sun remained elusive and the wind made things a bit more chilly. We talked about a lot of upcoming events, though: the apparently annual Party with the Filipinos through JMAC, Gaming League, Iron Man 2, mini-Scandal-Con, and Lowell's 29th and 30th birthdays.
There's also talk of having a Fourth of July gathering for friends and family at our house. We live about a block away from the park where they hold the fireworks show, but you can see them perfectly from our backyard and alley. It would also give members of our family the opportunity to see our house, as some of them (mostly my aunties and cousins and one of Lowell's aunties who I believe is in from the Philippines at that time) have not as yet. It's just a matter of getting everything in order and letting people know as soon as we're certain. We'd have to cater in food, since we do not have a grill and I do not think we will be purchasing one before then, but still. It'd be great fun. And even if we don't do it the day of the fireworks, since people might still have to work the Monday following, we could possibly do it the Saturday before, and just have kind of an open house\/summer fun type thing.
Instead of cleaning the bedroom as planned yesterday, we chilled and played Mass Effect, which is pretty amazing. I don't think we've even really gotten into the meat of the story, which is even better. We do need to get the bedroom done (there's another room in desperate need of deep cleaning), so perhaps our reward for getting that in order will be more Mass Effect. And Angel Food Cake. I am determined to try and bake one tonight. This will not necessarily go perfectly with our whole \"eat better\" nonsense, but it is only one night, and one cake.
My sister came over last night, and was up all night doing Lord knows what all in here and playing LittleBigPlanet and Heavy Rain. I don't think she went to bed until seven or so this morning, which is pretty standard for when Sally visits. Will have to wake her up soon, though, as I do not know what time she wanted to head back down south, and I know she wanted to go to Pac Sun to get a new purse. Hmm...shopping...
<\/a>
Stuff to do today:
--laundry
--clean bedroom
--play World of Warcraft
--play Mass Effect
--clean kitchen
--shopping?
--bake angel food cake
Stuff to do this week:
--work
--walk with Lowell on Monday and Friday
--laundry
--drinks on Wednesday?
--babysit on Wednesday
Time to get all this started.","comments":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/371317.html?view=comments#comments","category":["weekend update","world of warcraft","house stuff","lists","video games","family"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/371083.html","pubDate":"Wed, 28 Apr 2010 01:05:13 GMT","title":"Enough enough.","author":"avichan","link":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/371083.html","description":"I'm having these issues where I feel like nothing I do is good enough\/anything enough for anyone. Much of it is at work, but a small portion of it is outside work. I do not like this. I do not like that I have to keep reminding myself that I'm doing everything I can to the best of my abilities. I do not like that while doing that, I'm still sitting around nervous that I've done something wrong, or haven't done well enough. It is an issue of my own making that I need to get over, and I will be working on that.
I had so many awesome days last week. I smiled constantly and felt good. I had some fun conversations, and even more fun times. I did some unexpected things with great people (such as a lunchtime trip to Target with Alex and an impromptu drinks and dinner session with David and Robert, the latter being stuck in town due to that volcano nonsense), and that only stood to make the week even more amazing. Everything just felt awesome. I felt awesome.
All this stupid \"not good enough\" crap is just hovering needlessly. I know I'm good enough. I'm good enough at my job, I'm good enough and anything enough anywhere else. I don't need to be told, I don't need to be reminded by anyone but myself. I know I am. Whatever funk this is, I will work at getting over it, as it's unnecessary and just making life more difficult. Eff that noise.
Time to go home.","comments":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/371083.html?view=comments#comments","category":"brain full"},{"guid":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/370461.html","pubDate":"Mon, 26 Apr 2010 16:27:34 GMT","title":"Monday, you could fall apart...","author":"avichan","link":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/370461.html","description":"There will be no falling apart today. I feel good about myself and all I accomplished at home this weekend. I will not let that be ruined by panicky bosses.
I will admit, I did not get everything done this weekend that I wanted. For one thing, it was a lot more work than I realised. For another, a lot of the organising\/etc. I could not do on my own (i.e. the new guest bedroom did not get finished because most of the stuff remaining in there was Lowell's and I did not know what to do with it). For yet another, my schematic (as it were) for the new guest room did not work. I probably should have measured the bed before planning the way I did. Now the armoire will have to get moved, which is a task I was hoping to avoid. Oh, well. C'est la vie.
It's not like this is the only weekend we have, though. This week we can keep the kitchen and new nerd room in order, do laundry, and other such nonsense. Then on Saturday, we can attempt to start our new routine:
AM:
--walk for 30 minutes to an hour
--putz around the house\/play WoW
PM:
--pick a room and get to it
I had thought about finishing the guest bedroom this coming weekend, but Lowell raised a valid point about our own bedroom. It's by no means messy, but it could assuredly use some reorganising and deep cleaning of its own. The curtains we bought for the nerd room are affordable and rather nice, so perhaps we will purchase the same brand for the bedroom this Friday. We can also move furniture and clean underneath stuff, reorganise Lowell's closet (we now have too many clothes to fit in our small closet, so my clothes are in the nerd room and Lowell's will be in the bedroom), maybe hang some of the wedding and engagement photos, and so forth. I wish there was some way to rearrange the furniture in the bedroom, but the room itself is too small and the bed is too big. C'est la vie again.
And now my day has gotten all sorts of weirdly busy. Payroll is due, but there are two remaining topics to discuss with Ricardo, and I don't know that he's back before I leave. If I have to harass him during Mass, I will, but I hope I do not. I also hope I don't have to stay late to address it, so I suppose I need to decide which is the better path to follow. I've also been asked to call a bride about rescheduling a meeting from months ago, over something that I thought had already been taken care of. The lack of communication in this office still baffles me. There's definitely enough to keep me chugging right along until I leave, either way.
Tonight:
--weights
--walk with Lowell
--laundry
--WoW
--sleep","comments":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/370461.html?view=comments#comments","category":["house stuff","lists","worky"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/370279.html","pubDate":"Fri, 23 Apr 2010 14:48:33 GMT","title":"This weekend.","author":"avichan","link":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/370279.html","description":"Productivity abounds!
Tonight:
--paint back bedroom
--buy curtains for back bedroom
--price blinds for kitchen and sunroom
--buy vitamins<\/strike>
--clean nerd room
--watch Sally play WoW or thereabouts (No dice; she didn't come over.)<\/i>
--sleep<\/strike>
Tomorrow:
--take apart bed; move into kitchen
--move furniture from nerd room to back bedroom (sans armoire and bookshelf)
--move bed into nerd room; will be new guest room
--arrange furniture (two desks, two computers, two bookshelves) in nerd room<\/strike>
--move my clothes into smaller closet in nerd room<\/strike>
--move all figurines\/etc from living room to nerd room; organise
--hang curtains<\/strike>
--move hope chest to guest bedroom
--clean\/organise living room
Sunday:
--clean kitchen
--do laundry
--reap benefits of more organised house<\/strike>
<\/a>
I am indeed at work, though with nothing pressing to do. I suppose I could mail the Easter VI music to the cantors...and prep envelopes for payroll next week...meh, it's something. Other stuff will come to me as the day progresses, I suppose.","comments":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/370279.html?view=comments#comments","category":["house stuff","lists","worky"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/370137.html","pubDate":"Tue, 13 Apr 2010 15:31:17 GMT","title":"Back home again.","author":"avichan","link":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/370137.html","description":"Arizona was fantastic. I don't think there was a moment where I wished I was elsewhere. Everything was just...there are no words. Truly. From lounging by the pool to the awesome hotel room to the Dodge Charger and driving through mountains and deserts to the GRAND CANYON to sunsets to stars to Tony Stark and pizza to the zoo to phosphates to microbrews...and that's not the half of it. Truly incredible times. I'm lucky to have been able to go. Thanks to Alex for discovering such a fabulous place, and for inviting us to share it with her.
Now that I'm home again, the lists start. My work list is done, sans phone calls, and those will be done post-lunch. The only major things to do today are to call my mother, do some laundry, and pick up my new glasses. I wanted to do that this morning before work, but the office didn't open until ten. Boo. That would have gotten me to work at 11:30, and not leaving until around 5:30 or 6:00. Not how I want to start my week. So 9:00 to 2:00 or 3:00 it is. I can handle that.
I'd forgotten we'd agreed to stay with my cousins this coming weekend (they're 12 and 17, so it's not so much babysitting as it is corralling, I guess), and I'd further forgotten that I hadn't told my auntie we'd be able to do it. That's another phone call to make. Oooh, and Nana, too. I forgot to call her before we left. Blargh. And an email to Aunt Trish must be written, as I forgot to mail Easter weekend. I am on a roll, it seems.
Apparently the cats missed us more this time than when we went to Hawaii, because they haven't really left us alone since we got home. The baby girl has been incredibly vocal, and more cuddly than I've ever seen her. She even curled up between us when we went to bed, which is something she rarely does. I'm looking forward to meowing at her and hugging her again when I get home this afternoon.
Rest of the day is as follows:
--emails
--sorting music
--lunch
--phone calls
--more sorting
--commute (did NOT miss Chicago commutes, I tell you what)
--laundry
--change bedding in bedroom
--more laundry
--glasses pickup
--B&N or Borders for third book in series I am reading
--minor grocery shopping
--home
--dinner
--bed
I kind of want to order in, but I know that's just because I'm still on vacation food mode. Though my idea of cooking is simply to microwave a Lean Cuisine or Healthy Choice meal, I really don't want to do it today. Hmm...today could be pancit day, though, if all goes well...we shall see.
Rambled enough. Should get some more work done before David returns and catching up begins.","comments":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/370137.html?view=comments#comments","category":["vacations","kitties","lists","family","yay!","worky"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/369694.html","pubDate":"Wed, 07 Apr 2010 14:42:28 GMT","title":"Lists for today.","author":"avichan","link":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/369694.html","description":"
At work:
--mail SN re: baptism on Saturday
--send music to SN and KGN
--clear off desk
--file old programs
--clean common room
--put binders in library
--store old computer stuff...somewhere
--make CDs for May\/early June brides who are running behind
--mail CD to June bride who rang this AM
--call guest singers to schedule rehearsals
--call groom to schedule rehearsal (he is singing a solo at his wedding; to each their own)
After work:
--go to Borders; pick up two for fun books
--pick up bath bomb?
--take train to Evanston
--go to Hans' and take photos of old motorcycle
--go to Old Orchard and have a sandwich
--go to Kinkos by 6:40 PM to print out plane tickets
--call Lowell for ride home
At home:
--wash white clothes
--wash towels
--wash blankets
--clean bathroom
--eat dinner
--pack!
--play FFXIII if not too tired
<\/a>
My knees have been bothering me since Sunday. I do not like this. Nor do I like the random pangs I've been feeling in the gallbladder area. I'll blame the copious amounts of food eaten on Easter Sunday.
Looked up a massage at the hotel in Phoenix, and it's actually a little less expensive than I thought. I suppose we are talking about that when we get home. I hope \"talking about\" means \"Lowell says yes\".
Lowell did our taxes yesterday, and praise be for filing jointly. This'll be the first year since I was a college sophomore that I do not owe the government money in any form. Booyah. I think the majority of the returns are going towards a computer for Lowell. If they are not for some reason, they should.
I've been taking the \"less drowsy formula\" Dramamine for the past week or so, and I thought I didn't notice a difference. I was so wrong. My eyes are so droopy right now, thanks to me only having the regular strength drowsiness ones today. Thank God there's next to nothing of major importance to do in the office today.
Goal for tomorrow: have an airport margarita. Yay for Lalo's!
Ibuprofin, then to work on that list.","comments":"https:\/\/avichan.livejournal.com\/369694.html?view=comments#comments","category":["vacations","sleepy","brain full","lists","pain","worky"]}]}}