“Breathe.”

This is my entry in the “Affirmations” IndieWeb Carnival this month. I have been working and reworking a comic of this post and I think what I’ve learned is that I have more ideas than fits in the way I want it to. And so, my post on affirmations.

Hokum

I once thought affirmations were bunk. Religious hokum. Pseudoscience.

Then my first marriage fell apart and declared bankruptcy and was adrift.

And support groups and therapy helped.

A flyer full of affirmations

And in some support groups, they would hand a flyer full of affirmations around at the end of the meeting and we could read one out loud or silently and pass along the xeroxed sheet.

And it felt great. Those affirmations helped me imagine an entirely different way I might be. A favorite is:

“I am gentle with myself”

Learning to be my own good parent is something I worked actively toward under the tutelage of a therapist. But one affirmation really knocked me out.

“The pain that I feel by remembering, can not be any worse than the pain that I feel by knowing and not remembering.”

A rather profound one, though more abstract and less concrete in some ways. And open to interpretation in a way I can see might not be everyone’s cup of tea.

Popping the hood

Over time I’ve learned to subvert the negative inner voices I grew up with. Much of that was in therapy. When people have asked me about what therapy is I have tended to describe it as like popping the hood of a car and examining how the engine works. My mind, my psyche, my soul, are a kind of engine for my life. Therapy is like getting an oil change or having a timing belt replaced. These are “auto maintenance” metaphors. I’m not a car guy but Californians usually know cars.

Affirmations are not a “solution” to a disordered mind, but they have served for me as a tool to strengthen my resolve toward positive change. A friendly voice I can try on for size. Sometimes they help.

The bot angle

In 2023 I created a bot on Mastodon that posted daily affirmations. But I ran out of steam scheduling them. And I found myself doubting the value of the bot. In February 2024 I signed up to host the IndieWeb Carnival a year later. My intent was to figure out what to do with the bot by then. A year deadline is a good one. And I did decide! I fully automated it using PHP and a cron job. I made it easier for myself to add affirmations. I sought affirmations in books and other paces. And I added a Bluesky edition.

And more: I created this bot for me. I do not need a mass audience for it. It is not a growth or monetary project. It’s enough that I can read and enjoy them. That itself is a kind of affirmation.

My favorite affirmation

Having decades of time reading affirmations and pondering what they mean to me, I have decided on my favorite affirmation. It’s a command. It’s a wish. It’s universally applicable in every situation.

That affirmation is “breathe.”

It’s the ultimate centering technology. If we are conscious, we can consciously take a breath. And the outcome of that is always positive.

When in doubt. When scared. “Breathe”

When crying. When angry. “Breathe”

When despairing. When confused. “Breathe”

Breathe.

Thanks for reading, and please feel free to read the other entries.