First off, I want to thank everyone who has commented on the last post, I am so lucky to have so many loving and carring lj friends, you all mean so much to me.
I went to court yesterday, and everything went better than I thought it would, Jacob is staying with my parents for the time being, at least until I find a more high paying job, and be able to support him better finacialy. But the best part is that I can see him when ever I want! Yay!!! My parents were not happy about how things turned out, but I sure am! I know that my parents will take good care of him until I get back on my feet, even if we don't get along.
I would also like to take the time and mention some people\/ friends who have been so amazing to me. The first person would have to be luvkneck (Cat) She was the friend who told me to write about everything I was feeling, and mention the people who have made an impact on the way I view things, she is an amazing friend, and even though I have never met her, she still means so much to me.
<\/p>
My other two friends would have to be bagel1 (Joanne), and Camillar (Camilla), their stories have inspired me to write the stories that I have been writing. Joanne's story New Years, and Camilla's story Lithium, those stories have pulled at my heart strings, and their beautiful writing has made me realise that there are people out there who have a harder time, and who are facing there own demans, and I will always thank them for that. I have to be the most pathetic person on the planet!! I have to be honest to you guys about the real reason why I have not been around much. I have been lade off from my job about a week in a half ago, and everything has went down hill since. My parents are trying to get custedy of Jacob, and I have no clue why...they say that I am an unfit parent who is a single mother who can't hold a job... <\/p> Ennis POV only!!!<\/p> I woke up early Thursday mornin’,looking around the walls of the small, green tent, feeling something heavy pressed against my chest.<\/p> I looked down to see Jacks head laying over my exposed chest, breathing lightly, while tickling my flesh.<\/p> “Mmmm…good mornin‘. Jack said, while looking up at me with sleepy eyes.<\/p> “Good mornin‘.” I mumbled in return, given’ Jacks body a quick squeeze. “We need to be checkin’on the sheep.<\/p> “Those fuckin’ sheep.” Jack grumbled, making me laugh.<\/p> “Jack…Aguirre, isn’t payin’us for nothin‘ .I said<\/p> “That son of a bitch, isn’t paying us enough…I mean smell this tent here Ennis, it smells like cat piss.”<\/p> “Stop complaining Twist.”<\/p> Wantin’ to get up, I pushed Jack onto his side, pullin’ up my jeans, and then crawling out the tent, with Jack behind me…<\/p> “Well, I better be goin’ and checkin’ on the sheep, don’t want Aguirre to have a hissy fit…”<\/p> “Jack, we have to do the work that Aguirre tells us to do, he’s are boss so we have to do it.”<\/p> “Yeah, what the fuck ever.” said Jack, who was already heading up the mountain.<\/p> “I’ll see ya for super Rodeo!” I hollered, missing my little darlin’ already.”<\/p> \u3000<\/p> An hour later…<\/p><\/b> I headed up the mountain an hour later, expecting to see Jack gettin’ ready for super, and was shocked to see Jack packing up the camp sight…<\/p> “What are ya doin’ there Jack?”<\/p> “Aguirre told me to take the sheep down, he said there’s a storm a comin’.”<\/p> “We survived a hell of a storm earlier, and he didn’t say nothin’.” I said in confusion, and with a touch of sadness, knowing that I will have to leave Jack…forever…<\/p> “I’m just tellin’ you what he said to me Ennis…” Said Jack, with a calm voice, that made my blood turn ice cold.<\/p> “Yeah, well what the fuck ever…” I said with aggravation, and walkin’pass Jack to set on top of the mountain, not even wantin’ to be around the son of a bitch right now.<\/p> How could Jack act this way, like what happened up on this mountain meant nothin’to him…how…?<\/p> I took a seat, on the cold, and wet grass, lookin’ ahead of me, tryin’ not to cry like a fuckin’ baby, men don’t cry…or at least that’s what my daddy told me…<\/p> I could see Jack from the corner of my eye, that he was walkin’ towards me, but I kept my face lookin’ ahead, not wantin’ to see Jack’s beautiful face….I would just loose it…<\/p> Jack came up to me, with a rope in his right hand, spinning it in the air, with the circle end of the rope capturing my neck .<\/p> Getting frustrated, I took the rope off my neck, and over my head. I got up from the ground and let the rope slip from my fingers, I started to walk away from Jack, until I felt my boots getting caught, and fell to the ground…<\/p> Realizing that it was the rope, I grabbed a hold of the rope with both hands, pullin’ Jack towards me, with him landing on top of me, we both rolled down the hill.”<\/p> It started out as some male dominance, and something fun, that was until Jacks knee came into contact with my nose.<\/p> “Shit!” I hollered out in pain, bringing my hands up to my bloody nose.<\/p> “Ennis…I am so sorry cowboy, here let me see if…”<\/p> My fist went to Jack‘s right cheek, making him tumble to he grass, moaning out in pain…without looking at my hurt lover, I walked down the hill, without a word.<\/p> When Jack got up, he walked down the hill, and we both started packing in silence. When we had everything in place, Jack and I got onto our horses and started riding down broke back mountain, thinking that our lives were over.<\/p> When we made it to Aguirre’s office, all I wanted to do was get my money, and leave this fuckin’ town, as soon as possible.<\/p> “Here’s your guys fuckin’ pay. hissed Aguirre. “It’s not like you guys deserve it, and if I was both of you, I would not even plan on comin’ back, I would rather loose my right leg, thank have you worthless piece of shit, workin’ here. Now take the money and get out.”<\/p> Jack walked out the door of Aguirre’s office first, with me fallowing behind…<\/p> “Um Ennis, I-I hope that you don’t mind, but a, do you think that ya could take a look at my truck…?”<\/p> I wanted to say no…but I couldn’t.<\/p> “Sure.”<\/p> I looked at his truck, finally getting the damn thing to start, fixing a couple of loose bolts…<\/p> “So, I guess I’ll see ya around.” I said, with my heart breaking, and looking into his eyes that was full of pain and sadness…but what hurt the most was that dark purple bruise forming on his right cheek, knowing that I put it there.<\/p> “Yeah. See ya around.”<\/p> And that was it, Jack got into his old blue truck, and started to drive away, hurting more when his truck started to fade.<\/p> I started to walk down the gravel road, until I started to get this pain feeling in the pit of my stomach…I ran into the nearest barn, falling against the wall, and onto my knees, holding onto my stomach, while the remaing substance came up<\/p> “Oh my god Ennis…are you ok…what’s wrong!?” Said a voice that sounded so familiar…no it can’t be…<\/p> “Come on cowboy, look at me.”<\/p> I felt Jack taking me into his arms, bringing my body close to his…<\/p> “Speak to me Ennis.”<\/p> “J-Jack, I can’t take this.”<\/p> “Take what cowboy?” He asked me tenderly.<\/p> “You leaving, I can’t Jack, I thought that I knew what I wanted, but I don’t want Alma Jack…I-I want you, I want that sweet life, and life ain’t that sweet without you in it.”<\/p> “Oh cowboy.” Jack said with so much love, and emotion.<\/p> “I won’t leave…never.”<\/p> “I-I love ya Jack.”<\/p> “I love ya to Ennis.”<\/p> THE END<\/p><\/a> <\/p><\/span> I thought I would give this challenge a try…enjoy friends J<\/font> <\/span><\/span> <\/p>( Read more...<\/font><\/a> )<\/b> I thought I would give this challenge a try…enjoy friends J<\/font> <\/span><\/span> <\/p> I look up into the eyes of the man I love with so much anger, so much disgust….how could he do this to me, how could he let these other men…these strangers touch him…make love to him…be inside him…<\/span><\/span><\/p> Does he not love me anymore, am I not good enough…how can I make love to him knowing that another man has been where I have been for twenty years… I want to hate him, but how can I hate the man I gave my soul <\/p><\/span> <\/p> Jack’s POV<\/p> I walked out of my childhood room, shutting the door behind me…taking a deep breath before walking down the stairs to meet my ma and pa.<\/p> “Hey Jack. What would you like for breakfast?” I heard my ma ask, while carrying a cup of coffee to my pa.<\/p> “Nothin.” I murmured. “I’m not hungry.”<\/p> “Nonsense. You need to eat Jack, it looks to me like you have lost some weight since the last time I saw ya, so come on now. Set so we can eat.”<\/p> I walked over to the small kitchen table, and took a seat across from pa.<\/p> “What the hell is wrong with you boy?” My pa grumbled, not carrying that my heart was broken.<\/p> “I’m fine.” I lied. “Not that you give damn.” I hissed with anger. Not wanting to listen to my fathers bullshit.<\/p> “Don’t you fuckin’ talk to me that way you little shit!”<\/p> “John stop it!” My ma hollered, losing her patients.<\/p> “Don’t talk to Jack like that. This is the first time we have saw him in over a year. So please stop it.” She now begged.<\/p> “Fine.” He said. “ I have to go feed the bulls.”<\/p> My old man got up from the table, and started walking towards the door, giving me a drop dead look on the way.<\/p> When I heard the door slam behind me, I let out the breath I’ve holding, feeling my moms hand come onto my shoulder, giving it a ferm squeeze.<\/p> “I’m so sorry Jack. I don’t know what to do with that man.”<\/p> “Its not your fault ma. I know how the old man is.” I told her, moving her hand off my shoulder, bringing it to my lips giving her hand a carrying kiss.<\/p> I then dropped her hand from my grip, standing up from the table, and started helping her clean the not eaten food off of the kitchen table.<\/p> I picked up the dishes, and started to carry them to the sink, when I got to the sink I looked out the small window above, and stopped cold…almost dropping the dishes to the floor.<\/p> “Jack…what’s wrong? Ma asked worriedly, standing behind me.<\/p> “What in the hell is he doing here.” I whispered.<\/p> “Who are you talkin about Jack?”<\/p> Not hearing what my ma said, I dropped the dishes into the sink, running to the door.<\/p> When I made it outside into the cold, chilly morning, I came face to face with the blond hair cowboy, who has been haunting my every thought.<\/p> Without saying a word, I walked over to Ennis, who was leaning against his old rusted up truck, with his white hat down over his chocolate brown eyes, looking down to the ground. Bringing back the memory of the nineteen year old Ennis I met all those years ago.<\/p> “Hey Jack.” Ennis murmured, still looking at the ground.<\/p> “Hey Cowboy…if you don’t mind me askin’ what the hell are you doing here?” I asked the man in front of me in a calm voice, with my heart beating a mile a minute.”<\/p> “I-I had to make sure that you were ok.” He said, now looking up at me with unshed tears.<\/p> “What do mean, to make sure I was ok…is this some kind of joke Ennis, because I don’t find it fu-”<\/p> That was all I was able to say, until Ennis forced me into is arms, in a earth shattering hug.<\/p> “Ennis…what’s wrong?” I asked the crying man in my arms.<\/p> “Come on Cowboy, tell me what’s wrong…shhh its ok…”<\/p> All the anger I had was washed away, with having Ennis in my arms, with so much sadness was breaking my heart.<\/p> When Ennis was finally calmed down enough, I let him go, taking my right hand too his chin, bringing his eyes up too look into mine…with his eyes still full of tears.<\/p> “J-Jack…I-I had this d-dream…”<\/p> “sshhh, it was just a dream, everything’s ok.”<\/p> “ You don’t understand Jack…in my dream you were leaving you parents house late at night, while you were driving down the road you got a flat tire, from running over a rusty nail. When you got out of your truck to take a look these three guys came up, they asked you if you needed help, but what you didn’t know was that they had a tire iron…”<\/p> “Ennis, it was just a dream. I’m fine.” I whispered into his hair softly.<\/p> “I-I cant lose you Jack…when I woke up from my dream I had too come and see you, to make sure for myself that you were ok…”<\/p> “And I am.”<\/p> A couple of minutes went by of silence, just as looking at each other with so much longing…<\/p> “Jack, I have always been told being queer was wrong, and a sin, that two men couldn’t love each other, but you know what I think Jack, I think it’s a load of bullshit, how could two people who love each other, be so wrong?”<\/p> I stood there in shock, looking at the man in front of me, falling more in love with him.<\/p> “Are you saying what I think your saying cowboy.” I said trying not to get too excited.<\/p> “I love you Jack, and I want that sweet life that you-we have always wanted…that’s if, you still want me…”<\/p> The tears that I have been holding back was now falling down my face.<\/p> “You know I could never quit you cowboy.” I said before bringing his lips to mine in a slow passionate kiss.<\/p> We came up from air, with our foreheads pressed together in a loving gesture, us both looking into each others eyes full of love.<\/p> “I love you cowboy.”<\/p> “I love you too rodeo…always.” <\/p><\/span><\/span><\/strong> <\/p> Jack’s POV<\/p> I looked up at the ceiling, laying on my small bed from where I spent my days as a child in my childhood home, clutching the two shirts against my chest to keep my heart still beating.<\/p> “I never wanted this to happen.” I said to myself, with the tears silently falling down my thin and pale face.<\/p> I closed my eyes, trying to erase the memory of the brown eyed, blond haired man from my thoughts.<\/p> “I wish I knew how to quit you.” I whispered to the man I have loved for going on twenty years, knowing the hurtful words I have said were not true.<\/em><\/p> “Well, why don't you ? Why don't you just let me be? It's because of you that I'm like this! I ain't got nothing... I ain't nowhere…” Ennis said with his voice full of pain.<\/em><\/p> I turned around to see my lover with his right hand covering his face drenched with tears, and his body shaking uncontrollably, without giving a second thought, I stretched both of my arms out wide, slowly walking over to my distraught cowboy.<\/em><\/p> “Get the fuck off me!” He yelled. Pushing me with a strong force, not wanting to be in my arms.<\/em><\/p> Not letting his push affect me, I grabbed his thin frame, and forced his body against mine, holding Ennis’s body so close that he couldn’t escape, when his body went limp in my shakend arms we fell to our knees, onto the hard ground, on this cold and winter night.<\/em><\/p> “I can't stand it being like this no more, Jack.” He whispered into my chest, holding onto my body tight, afraid that I was going to disappear from this world and out of his life.<\/em><\/p> I re-opened my eyes, bringing myself back to the present, I have cried and cried till I couldn’t cry no longer.<\/p> I then got up from my bed, with the shirts still in my hands, walking over to the small closet, but stopping to bend down and pick up the old rusty close hanger from the old scratched up floor.<\/p> I put my old shirt on the hanger, then Ennis’s on after. I hanged them in the closet a short time after, taking one more look at the blood stained shirts that represented so much love, over the years, but now it was time to move on from the past, and start a better and brighter future.<\/p> THE END.<\/p><\/a> <\/p><\/span>
And a big thanks to Marian07 (Marian) for the virtual gift, it means so much to me friend!!!!
But the person that I have to thank the most is our beloved friend Carole. she has made me realise that life is short, and to never take anything for granted in life, because you never know how much longer you have left. R.I.P friend. I love you!
There are so many more of you who I can talk about, but it would take years for me to tell all of my friends what you all mean to me.
Luv,
Ash
<\/p>
"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:apreg:45678","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/45678.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=45678"}}],"title":"RL update","published":"2010-04-10T19:19:07Z","updated":"2010-04-10T19:19:07Z","category":{"@attributes":{"term":"rant"}},"content":"Well I took all my lj friends advise and talked to my parents about the whole situation about Jacob...I had some hope that they would understand but sadly they did not.
My paretnts said that I am not a good parent, and that Jacob needs to be around people who loves him...so what they were trying to say is that I don't love jacob, which is just bullshit!
They said that I brought the situation onto myself, and that I was obvisouly doing a horrable job at working, and thats why I got laid off.
I have to see them in court Wendsday, and I have a bad feeling that i'm going to lose Jacob, but maybe my parents are right maybe he would have a more happy life with his grandparents...
I just feel so alone, and i have been getting deeper and deeper into my depression that I have been struggling with, the only time I feel like going on is when i'm with my baby, but if I lose him, I just don't know what I i'll do.
I have my friends, here at home,and I love them to death, but that does not help heal the empty feeling I feel deep down in my chest. I feel like I let my parents and family down, they always have told me that i'm not good enough, and i'm starting to believe that there right.
I'm sorry for telling you guys about all my problems, but I feel like you all don't judge me, and even though I have not met any of you here I still think of you all as my friends, who I care about deeply.
Thanks for listening.
Ash<\/a><\/span>
"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:apreg:45483","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/45483.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=45483"}}],"title":"apreg @ 2010-04-07T21:38:00","published":"2010-04-08T01:38:25Z","updated":"2010-04-08T01:41:42Z","category":{"@attributes":{"term":"rant"}},"content":"
Why does everyone hate me? Myabe i'm just a bad person ); I am still here friends, life is still hard but I wantet to let my friends know that I am still around...
I love you all<\/span><\/span>
"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:apreg:45113","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/45113.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=45113"}}],"title":"I'm so pathetic","published":"2010-03-31T23:16:09Z","updated":"2010-03-31T23:21:42Z","category":{"@attributes":{"term":"rant"}},"content":"
After I got lade off I have been trying to find a good paying job, expecially a nursing job, but there are so many people applying to the medical field that it is really hard for me to do that...
I feel that i'm letting down everyone, and disapointing my parents, but most of all Jacob. I am still battleing through depression and I am trying to get the help I need, but its like everytime I think that things are getting better, shit starts to happen.
I am happy that I have a job interview, tomarrow for Wendys, but the pay is not going to be enough for Jacob and me, damn i'm such a failure...no wonder Austin left me, and Jacob still sick...damn i'm stupied.<\/p>
"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:apreg:44975","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/44975.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=44975"}}],"title":"Life is full of choices, ch. 26","published":"2010-03-31T11:28:31Z","updated":"2010-03-31T11:28:31Z","category":{"@attributes":{"term":"life is full of choices."}},"content":"Title: Life is full of choices.
ratings:<\/strong> NC-17
warnings:<\/strong> language and m\/m sex later on...
feedback: <\/strong>yes please.
Declaimer:<\/strong> the characters belong to Annie Proulx I do not get paid for writing, I just love to do it. Authors Notes<\/strong>: Thanks to bagle1 and bowl of glow for being such good friends, and also to Carole who I think about every day. And also thanks to all the support and comments for the story <3
Summery<\/strong>: Jack is a younge attractive 20 year old man, and lives on his own despites his blindness, he thinks he is doing fine on his own but what will happen when an attractive 26 year old business man Ennis del mar is interested in him.
Beta: <\/strong>thanks so much to my friend Cat ![\"[info]\"](\"https:\/\/l-stat.livejournal.com\/img\/userinfo.gif\")
<\/a>luvenck<\/font><\/b><\/a><\/span>
Here is the next chapter, FINALLY!!! Sorry to keep you all waiting so long....enjoy!
Ennis POV
I can see the sadness in Jack's deep, sea blue eyes. I know that he’s worried, but when I told him that I loved him, I meant those powerful words, and there is no way in hell that I could leave this man behind…
“You don’t have anything to worry about Jack…everything is going to be fine,” I said to him. As I looked up at him, I was again amazed just how beautiful a man he is.
“I have every right to worry Ennis.” He said. “This is major surgery, that you could fucking die from.”
“I’m not going to die Jack.”
“Don’t Ennis…just don’t…Please don’t make a promise that you don’t know if you will be able to keep,” pleaded my lover.
I hate to see the man I love so broken down, I will do anything in my power to not ever leave this man.
…PLEASE God, don’t ever take me away from him...
“I’m not going to die Jack… I promise.” I repeated with determination.
“O-Ok Ennis…I-I believe you.”
...PLEASE God, don’t let me break this promise to him...
Jack’s POV
I could tell by the edge in Ennis’ voice that he was serious, but I still knew that Ennis was making a promise he might not be able to keep.
I heard the door behind me creek open, knowing that my three minutes with Ennis was up, and that Dr. Green was here to take Ennis into surgery. It was time for me to say goodbye, maybe forever.
Ennis POV
I looked over Jack’s shoulder and saw Dr. Green enter the room. He already had his baby blue scrubs on. His nurse's were following behind him, which I anticipated were coming in to prep me for surgery.
“Are you ready Mr. del Mar?” Dr. Green asked.
“I guess I’m as ready as I'll ever be.”
“Before we get started, is there any questions you would like to ask me?
“Um, yeah. How long do you think this is going to take?” I asked.
“The longest I can predict, this procedure takes about four hours, maybe less since the cut to the brain is only a nickel size….”
“Is it alright if a ask a question Dr. Green?” Jack interrupted. “ What’s Ennis’ chance for surviving this kind of surgery?”
“Mr Twist, since you asked, I will be very honest with you. Dealing with hemorrhaging to the brain is very serious, just as any trauma to the brain is. There is always a chance of something going wrong, but I feel Mr. del Mar’s chance at surviving this procedure would be about 75%. This is a high survival rate Mr. Twist. But I have done this kind of surgery for more years than I care to remember. Be assured that I am very confident that Mr. del Mar is going to go through this surgery just fine.”
“Ok, that’s all I wanted to ask.”
I heard Jack let go of the deep breath he had been holding, but looking into his eyes, I could still see his concern.
“I’m ready Dr. Green,” I told the man nervously.
Jack’s POV
I felt better after Dr. Green answered my question, but a part of me still had my doubts, because anything could go wrong. I know deep down inside that Ennis is going to get through this, but if that is the case, then why do I have this bad feeling in the pit of my stomach?
“I’ll be here when your surgery is over Ennis, ok?”
“I know you will Jack. I love you. Remember what we talked about, ok?…Everything is going to be just fine.” I heard the hitch in Ennis' voice as he spoke those last words with so much love and emotion. Then I felt Ennis’ hand caress my right cheek, right before he gently slid his thumb along my bottom lip. I grasped his hand and held it close as I kissed his fingertips, hoping it wasn't for the last time.
I heard them getting his bed ready to wheel him out for surgery.
It was time we said our goodbyes. We said our goodbyes, maybe forever.....
TBC…<\/a>
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<\/a>
Hi friends, i am so sorry that I did not post an update on life is full of choices like I promised, I am still sick, and so is Jacob, and RL has been really horrable lately. But here is some good news, I am done with the 26 ch. and I have sent it to my beta, so the next chapter should be posted soon. I hope that my friends are not made at me.
Enjoy spring my beautiful friends. Luv you all!<\/div>
"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:apreg:44462","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/44462.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=44462"}}],"title":"story news, and family pics","published":"2010-03-23T17:54:31Z","updated":"2010-03-23T17:54:31Z","category":{"@attributes":{"term":"story news!!"}},"content":"I'm so sorry for the long wait for an update on my stories, I have been sick lately and so has my baby boy ): he has an ear infection so I have been up half the nights with him...
I am almost finished with a chapter for one of my stories, that I am hoping to have posted later on today (: i'm going to let my beautiful friends here suffer, for the wonder of wich story i am updating lol...jk.
I am hoping to have the next chapter of life is full of choices posted later today...lets keep our fingers crossed. I hope that all my beautiful friends are having a wonderful day...
and here is a pic of Jacob, under the cut, and my brother, and sister (^:
<\/span><\/span>
<\/span>jacob <3
<\/a> my sister <3
my brother, sorry not a good pic <3<\/a>
<\/div>
"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:apreg:44040","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/44040.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=44040"}}],"title":"I love you Jack... one-shot","published":"2010-03-14T23:02:35Z","updated":"2010-03-14T23:02:35Z","category":{"@attributes":{"term":"one-shot"}},"content":"Title: <\/strong>I love you Jack....
ratings: pg-ish some bad language.
warnings:<\/strong> language
feedback: <\/strong>yes please....thats what keeps me going
Declaimer:<\/strong> I do not own brokeback mountain...
Authors Notes<\/strong>: Thanks to bagle1 and bowl of glow for being such good friends, and also to Carole who I think about every day. And also thanks to all the support and comments for the story <3
Summery<\/strong>: What happened if things turned out differently, before Jack and Ennis' departure after the summer on brokeback mountain ???<\/span>
<\/span>Beta: <\/strong>No betta, so all mistakes are mine (:
This one-shot is not friends locked!!
"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:apreg:43999","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/43999.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=43999"}}],"title":"I got a dog!!","published":"2010-03-07T21:38:51Z","updated":"2010-03-07T21:38:51Z","category":{"@attributes":{"term":"dog pics"}},"content":"Hi friends!! I got a dog today, he's name is Bubba...I know wierd name....buts he's two and he is such a loving dog, he has been abused so he gets scared easily...how can people be so cruel ):<\/a>
<\/a><\/a>
"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:apreg:42479","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/42479.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=42479"}}],"title":"apreg @ 2010-02-15T13:19:00","published":"2010-02-15T18:18:56Z","updated":"2010-02-15T18:18:56Z","content":"
<\/font> <\/p>
"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:apreg:42182","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/42182.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=42182"}}],"title":"Other Men drabble ( February Challenge)","published":"2010-02-15T18:12:53Z","updated":"2010-02-15T18:28:01Z","category":{"@attributes":{"term":"drabble"}},"content":"
<\/p>
to...my life to...to give him up I would have nothin'. Hell I would might as well die...
ps. this is Ennis' thoughts<\/span><\/span><\/p><\/a>
"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:apreg:41668","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/41668.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=41668"}}],"title":"I just don't understand...","published":"2010-02-10T21:55:09Z","updated":"2010-02-10T22:01:03Z","category":{"@attributes":{"term":"rant"}},"content":"I'm sorry for the people whom i'm going to upset writing this, but i'm not sorry for writing it....I am starting to get sick and tired of people trying to bring others down, because of their stories or writing.
I just don't understand how people can say what they say...someone has left a mean and nasty comment to the beautiful writer and person Jen <\/strong><\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/a><\/span>jen_wcugirl<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/strong> who I consider my friend, and this happens to so many of us it is starting to piss me off!
I am not a mean person, or I try not to be, but the things some people are doing!!!
If you don't like a story then DONT READ IT!
I just wish that the people who have no life and just likes to bring people down would
just leave, that or try being nice at least.
Jen, i'm so sorry that someone has hurt you so badly, you are my friend and I hate it
that you are hurting :( please don't let thisone person scare you out of writing something.
Thank you all.
love,
Ash
<\/span>
<\/strong><\/span>
"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:apreg:41273","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/41273.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=41273"}}],"title":"Pic of me!!!","published":"2010-02-09T01:31:23Z","updated":"2010-02-09T01:31:23Z","category":{"@attributes":{"term":"me"}},"content":"Hi friends :)
Here is a pic of my ugly self lol...in this picture I am nine months pregnant with Jacob. I was huge!!!<\/a>
"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:apreg:40604","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/40604.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=40604"}}],"title":"I'm sorry...","published":"2010-02-02T21:25:27Z","updated":"2010-02-02T21:25:27Z","category":{"@attributes":{"term":"story news!!"}},"content":"I am so sorry for being so far behind on my writing :( I have been sick lately with a headache and a stomache ache...I was planning on posting some but I feel so tired. I hope to get chapter of my stories finished and posted by the end of the week.
Time for me to rest :( Sorry again.
love ya all bunches!
Ash"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:apreg:40281","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/40281.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=40281"}}],"title":"My last thoughts of you, part 2","published":"2010-01-25T00:13:53Z","updated":"2010-01-25T00:21:52Z","category":{"@attributes":{"term":"my last thoughts of you."}},"content":"Title: <\/strong>My last thoughts of you.
ratings:<\/strong> pg-ish some bad language.
warnings:<\/strong> language,and for a warning...bring out the tissues lol...
feedback: <\/strong>yes please.
Declaimer:<\/strong> the characters belong to Annie Proulx I do not get paid for writing, I just love to do it.
Authors Notes<\/strong>: Thanks to bagle1 and bowl of glow for being such good friends, and also to Carole who I think about every day. And also thanks to all the support and comments for the story <3
Summery<\/strong>: Jack's thoughts of Ennis, while he was holding his and Ennis shirts for the last time.
Beta: <\/strong>No betta for this one-shotpart. , so be warned
The end.<\/p><\/a>
"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:apreg:40023","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/40023.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=40023"}}],"title":"My last thoughts of you. One-shot","published":"2010-01-24T02:05:09Z","updated":"2010-01-24T02:05:09Z","category":{"@attributes":{"term":"my last thoughts of you."}},"content":"Title: <\/strong>My last thoughts of you.
ratings:<\/strong> pg-ish some bad language.
warnings:<\/strong> language,and for a warning...bring out the tissues lol...
feedback: <\/strong>yes please.
Declaimer:<\/strong> the characters belong to Annie Proulx I do not get paid for writing, I just love to do it.
Authors Notes<\/strong>: Thanks to bagle1 and bowl of glow for being such good friends, and also to Carole who I think about every day. And also thanks to all the support and comments for the story <3
Summery<\/strong>: Jack's thoughts of Ennis, while he was holding his and Ennis shirts for the last time.
Beta: <\/strong>No betta for this one-shotpart. , so be warned
<\/strong>I just got done watching BBM and became sad, so I decided to write this one-shot, I hope that you like it.
"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:apreg:39911","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/39911.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=39911"}}],"title":"Heath R.I.P our beautiful angel","published":"2010-01-22T23:03:31Z","updated":"2010-01-22T23:03:31Z","category":{"@attributes":{"term":"heath"}},"content":"You were such a beautiful man, who captured our hearts with your amazing talent, a care free spirit, and your beautiful soul. I don't think of this day as sarrow but a day to celebrate the life you had before god took you out of this earth and gave you the wings to make you the angel you are today. Just remember that we all will always love you sweet angel. Rest in peace.<\/a>
<\/a>
<\/a>
<\/a>
<\/a><\/a><\/span><\/span><\/div>
"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:apreg:39388","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/39388.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=39388"}}],"title":"I can't stop crying!!!","published":"2010-01-16T00:14:22Z","updated":"2010-01-16T00:19:24Z","category":{"@attributes":{"term":"haiti"}},"content":"I have been upset ever since I heard about the earthquake that struck Haiti....I can't stop crying for all the ones are are gone, or have no place to go. It is great for us all to give money to help all the victims...even though nothing could replace the familys who have lost someone or what they endured. I made this poem bc I was so upset and had to write something to help me cope.
Disaster<\/span>
How can life be so beautiful, but so dangerous in the
the lives of all of us who were brought into this world.
Why do so many loose their life so tragically. I wish I could
take the pain away and bring back the ones who were
taken away from us. i would give anything to wipe the
tears that has fallen from the eyesof the beautiful men,
women and children who has lost someone so dear to
them. Sometimes i have to wonder, is life just a beautiful
disaster.<\/span><\/u><\/div>
"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:apreg:39097","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/39097.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/apreg.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=39097"}}],"title":"Family pics :) My brother and Jacob","published":"2010-01-12T00:13:16Z","updated":"2010-01-12T00:15:20Z","category":{"@attributes":{"term":"personal"}},"content":"
My brother Mike (he's younger) <\/span>
My son Jacob :) <\/span><\/a>
"}]}