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Called Mechanic Matt. They found my car parts. "We're gonna start on it this afternoon. So in the next day or so..." Mechanic Matt, in the grand Midwestern tradition, does not finish sentences. I'm hoping this means it's because his brain is all full up with car knowledgement. So in the next day or so, elephants will be in the park across the street. In the next day or so, I'm leaving for Arizona. In the next day or so, the saucers are landing. (One of my co-workers somehow speaks without beginning sentences. "...in the storeroom." Asking for clarification does not help. "I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the thing I'm making up as an excuse. Could you repeat that?" gets you a slightly louder "...in the storeroom." "Oh.") The local busses, by the way, now have a vending system that gives paper change. You give the busbot two singles, and it ejects a paper card good for 25 cents on your next ride. It also has a Suicide Booth computer voice that announces when the bus passes a time point: "Thirty-third and L streets. You are now dead. Printing receipt." Tags: fuck you matt, it burns jim, oh my dear fucking god i'm going to die, work
where: not in my car
mood:  curious
noise: the sound of not a car
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Sometimes, when I get incredibly tired, words don't do the right thing. I get this sort of corner of the eye dyslexia, where words turn into frankly bizarre profanities. "Buggery Bagels." "Bag 'n Dicks." That sort of thing. I'm pretty sure that this is why, a few minutes ago when Deb was leaving for the day, I nearly told her, "G'night, dogfucker." I meant to say "G'night, doll." Fortunately, I didn't say anything at all. So tired. G'night, dogfuckers. Tags: it burns jim, work
mood:  tired
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Not much to post lately. Vali and Mary visited for a week, and it was awesome, but I think I'll keep it for myself. We moved offices, which was utterly hideous, and I get an extra five-block walk every morning and evening. The new neighborhood has more shivving winos and unconscious pregnant women than I normally care for. On the other hand, it's close to a doughnut shop. The most memorable thing I've seen lately was a girl coming out of the Student Union. She had the full Paris Hilton look -- leathery mecha-tan, blonde expensive sheepdogged hair, dress that looked like a nightie, deadly shoes, and that pigeon-toed toddler walk. It was terrifying, like suddenly coming upon a zombie or a werewolf at the Piggly-Wiggly. The end. Tags: it burns jim, work
mood:  working
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Today I got sent over to the Haunted Orphanage for a class in Excel. This was much more interesting than it sounds. When I woke up and got breakfast, I couldn't help but notice that the icebox smelled kind of funny. Not the is there dead food in here? kind of smell. More like, I don't know, a lake or a lawn sprinkler. A bit later, when I was getting a bottle of Diet Pepsi to put in my bag, I noticed that the very bottom was a smooth, molasses-colored sheet of frozen something. WTF??? Coolant? Motor oil? Angry chocolate milk? Nope. Six-pack of soda bottles on the bottom of the fridge had, near as I can tell, half-frozen and then gone PRRRRRRSSSSHHHHHHH!!! all over the fridge. Well, ick. I soaked some of it up, but had to leave for my class. I also finally found the source of last winter's mystery smell. When Mary and Vali visited last year, they abandoned a clove of garlic in the far corner of the crisper, where it used its chameleon-like powers to become invisible, but not instinkable. The poor thing is petrified and harmless now, but could only be seen if one happened to be on one's hands and knees in front of the fridge, soaking up massive amounts of cold, flat soda. So, good thing really. Okay, I'm lying, not good at all. Still better than the furry fruit cocktail of ought-six, however. Tags: it burns jim, om nom nom, soda pop, work
mood:  surprised
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Dear  dr_tectonic: *ahem* OH MY GOD OH MY GOD SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SQUEE SQUEE SQUEE IT'S WONDERFUL THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH OH MY GOD OH! MY! GOD! OMG INORITE OM-EFFING-G!!!Sincerely, Ann See, yesterday, after the most crap day ever... http://www.kolnkgin.com/home/headlines/18474479.html...I got a present in the mail:  Moleskine notebook customized using, um, lasers, and hypnotism, and it's all very technical and there may be magnets involved so stay back. Your jealousy tastes like candy.Tags: hot fuzz, i hart my moleskine, letters, work
mood:  ecstatic
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backwards
hungry
annoyed
bored
angry
pleased
amused