[friend-locked]

Some of you may wonder why I haven't written about this until now. Well, the greater the hurt the longer it takes to process, you know? I'm actually surprised I can talk about it this soon.


Lois McMaster Bujold, an actual good author, has said, "A book, the real book, the art as it takes place and makes its existence, requires two elements, the text on the page, and the mind that is processing or remembering that text." A book, as she frequently describes it, is a joint effort between the author who wrote the text and the reader who imaginatively interprets or constructs the text as he or she reads.

Of course, such a collaboration requires trust. There is an implicit contract between the writer who provides the text and the reader who creatively interprets it. In a continuing series - like the Harry Potter series - a relationship develops between the writer and the reader, with the writer contributing ideas and the reader contributing loyalty, energy, money, word-of-mouth publicity, etc. The author and fan meet each other's needs. They complete each other, providing a perfect circle of pleasure and mutual dependency. And the more investment the reader makes into the relationship, the more vulnerable they are to being hurt if the author doesn't live up to their side of the bargain.

I'm sure I don't have to tell you guys how much of myself I've put into the Harry Potter books. For nine years, I read and reread, I bought multiple copies of all the books (and books on tape too). For six years, I wrote posts, I wrote essays, I wrote fanfic, I argued, I went to conventions, I presented at conventions, I went to meet-ups, I went to all the movies (and bought them too), I served as a mod and coordinator on important online communities, I made and wore costumes and t-shirts, I decorated my house with HP paraphernalia, posters, and fan art, I bought (and read!) all the stupid companion books, I hooked everyone I know on the series, I even started using British slang! Even more important, I defended Jo from attacks and criticism loads of time. I wrote whole essays defending her shipping, her characterization, her world-building, her integrity in interview answers, her morality, her approach to sex, race and body size issues, her plotting, her symbolism, and even her use of adverbs. I donated to her favorite charities. My daughter made her a present. I even had icons about how much I "worshipped" her!

Oh yes, I met her needs. She is a multi-billionaire, partly because of me. Her critical reputation is thriving, partly thanks to my articulate support. But at a more basic level, I understood her. Every author craves a perceptive reader who "gets" them, right? Well I WAS THAT READER! I knew from the first time I read Book One that Harry would defeat Voldemort and end up marrying Ginny. I PREDICTED HORCRUXES. I knew all along that Snape was on the good side, that Harry would die but come back to life, and that he was an accidental Horcrux. I knew Dumbledore was gay. Look, I'm not saying I'm unique - I'm sure there are many other might be other readers who also read the books right and devoted as much time and money to the series as I did. There might even be some - a few - who did more. All I'm saying is that I was as faithful as I could be to the implied writer-reader contract. I fulfilled my end of the bargain. I never let Jo down - ever. I trusted her implicitly.

And now she does THIS to me.

After all this time and effort, after all my devotion, after nine years of a mutually-beneficial relationship, she betrays me like THAT. I'm sure I don't have to tell you, my closest fandom friends and mindmates, my fellow "Jo cultists" (oh, the irony of that!), what so devastated me about that interview, how it is a complete betrayal of the beautiful structure of understanding and trust built up between Jo and me for almost a decade, what an utter bitter failure and mockery it makes of the entire Harry Potter series, both artistically and in respect to my deepest personal needs. I just hope some of you can salvage something from the shambles. I can't.

I am with the wankers now.