{"@attributes":{"version":"2.0"},"channel":{"title":"I hear the song of your sadness","link":"https:\/\/andrealyn.livejournal.com\/","description":"I hear the song of your sadness - LiveJournal.com","lastBuildDate":"Wed, 27 Apr 2011 21:59:56 GMT","generator":"LiveJournal \/ LiveJournal.com","image":{"url":"https:\/\/l-userpic.livejournal.com\/107007357\/143409","title":"I hear the song of your sadness","link":"https:\/\/andrealyn.livejournal.com\/","width":"100","height":"100"},"item":[{"guid":"https:\/\/andrealyn.livejournal.com\/1518623.html","pubDate":"Wed, 27 Apr 2011 21:59:56 GMT","author":"andrealyn","link":"https:\/\/andrealyn.livejournal.com\/1518623.html","description":"Title: Collect Your Courage<\/b>
Pairing:<\/b> Steve\/Danny, Danny\/OMC
Rating<\/b>: R
Disclaimer:<\/b> Not even close to mine.
Word Count<\/b>: 5414
Summary<\/b>: \"You and Danny are like a matched set, now, no one will be able to get a word in edgewise.\"<\/i> Danny's dating someone else and Steve's come back from a mission unable to hold back a single thought, good or bad.
Notes<\/b>: I'm not a chemist nor any kind of chemistry major, so I've been liberal with the use of chemicals in this fic. Thanks to <\/a>liketheroad<\/b><\/a><\/span> for the beta and the title is from Dustbowl Dance<\/i>'s lyrics.



On the day that Danny tells Five-O that he\u2019s started dating someone, Steve is on his way to inform his team that he\u2019s being redeployed. Chin and Kono are more interested in Danny\u2019s love life than they are with Steve\u2019s news. Steve isn\u2019t that surprised, considering that he\u2019s in the same boat.

They\u2019re all especially<\/i> interested when they find out that Danny is dating a man.

Even Steve is having trouble keeping occupied with his big news when he walks into headquarters on the tail end of Danny\u2019s big announcement. First, he wants to know why Danny is telling everyone when Steve isn\u2019t there. Then, Danny says he\u2019s dating a guy named Eric and Steve experiences a brief moment of pure irritation, tensing his jaw so hard that it clicks. Thirty seconds after Steve walks in and gets pissed at Danny for not waiting for him, he already understands why he rushed ahead with the news.

\u201cWhere did you meet?\u201d Steve asks, trying for politeness in the wake of the wave of possessive anger pushing through him.

\u201cHe does the fingerprints down at HPD, he asked me out. We\u2019ve been on a couple dates, but it\u2019s not too serious, yet. We\u2019re seeing where it goes,\u201d Danny says with a keen eye on Steve, like he\u2019s gauging how badly Steve is reacting to this. \u201cHey, so, you said you had some news when you barged in just two seconds ago, today\u2019s the day for revelations,\u201d he says with a broad grin. \u201cWhat\u2019s new with you, Steve?\u201d

Steve doesn\u2019t beat around the bush. He tells them, straight out, the truth: the SEALs would like to reactivate him for a single mission and he\u2019ll be leaving for an undefined period of time.

\u201cDoing what?\u201d Danny demands.

\u201cIt\u2019s classified,\u201d Steve says, crossing his arms and lifting himself to his full height to produce an imposing air.

Danny\u2019s smile is instant and far from actually pleased<\/i> with Steve\u2019s reply. \u201cFuck you,\u201d he says, but it\u2019s tinged with the shadow of a good mood.

Steve refuses to even consider that Danny\u2019s good mood could be influenced by his new boyfriend. When he wants to be, Steve is excellent<\/i> with denial.

\u201cI\u2019ll be back before you know it. It\u2019s one mission and it\u2019s local,\u201d Steve says, his tone sliding back into being the boss as he talks to his team. He looks from Chin and Kono \u2013 who seem to understand \u2013 and back to Danny, who looks like he wants to cheerfully pry out Steve\u2019s eyes from their sockets with a toothbrush. \u201cDanno,\u201d he tries to sweet-talk him a little. \u201cC\u2019mon, you\u2019ll be so busy with your new boyfriend that you won\u2019t even notice I\u2019m gone. Hey, where are you two going for your next date?\u201d Steve asks, trying to let enthusiasm cover the jealousy that\u2019s starting to brew at the fact that Danny\u2019s dating a guy who\u2019s not-him. \u201cI can give you suggestions.\u201d

\u201cYou know what?\u201d Danny says, like he\u2019s just remembered something. \u201cIt\u2019s classified, Steven. Good luck out there, don\u2019t die with the Rangers.\u201d He doesn\u2019t even wait for the reply, starts walking towards the door with a steady pace.

\u201cNavy!\u201d Steve shouts after him, but it\u2019s too late. Danno has left the building.

*

\u201cKono,\u201d Steve says in a brief message the day he gets back from a classified mission that\u2019s left him in a unique condition<\/i>, \u201cI need to talk to you. Surfing on my beach in twenty, bring your board, I\u2019ll see you here, and I\u2026\u201d The message should go on longer than that, but Steve deliberately cuts the call short so he can pace back and forth in the foyer.

He\u2019s just come back from three sets of doctors and a visit to Max.

It\u2019s hard to accept what they\u2019ve been telling him, even though there\u2019s a lot of evidence that what\u2019s happening is real<\/i> and he\u2019s pretty screwed as a result. The mission had gone smoothly right up until Steve got made at the end, captured, and put in a chair while he was pumped full of sodium amytal. His team had rescued him before any secrets could spill loose, but the issue had more to do with the fact that the high quantities of the drug are still in his bloodstream.

\u201cTwo, three days,\u201d Max had said. \u201cI can predict the drug will be fully out of your system by then.\u201d

\u201cThat seems like a very long time, Max,\u201d Steve had replied, gripping his arms as hard as he could to forcibly stop himself from going on and on. \u201cFrom everything I\u2019ve seen on the drug, the effects should be moot in a day.\u201d

\u201cAh, yes. Normally!\u201d Max had eagerly agreed, \u201cyou\u2019re correct. However, it seems as though they\u2019ve tweaked certain markers to ensure that the effects last longer. I\u2019ll tell the Governor you require an extra three days of leave. I would advise that you keep to yourself for the most part. The loosening of inhibitions can produce both truth and lies and most people find it difficult to read the difference.\u201d

Steve feels like he can\u2019t just be gone for two weeks, come back, and avoid his team. Still, seeing Chin could go poorly due to his father\u2019s relationship with the man and Danny\u2026

Well, seeing Danny is out of the question, right now. With his tongue loosened, he can only imagine the horrifying things that he\u2019d say \u2013 truth or<\/i> lies.

Kono\u2019s at his house in seventeen minutes, her face lighting up like the sun when she first sees him. Her board is still fixed to the roof of her car, but she\u2019s too eager to see Steve to get it down, rushing across his driveway to hug him tightly.

\u201cYou smell so good,\u201d Steve blurts out.

He\u2019s starting to think that having Kono over is a bad idea, too. He should have locked himself in his bedroom, disconnected the landline and his cell phone, and not made human contact for the next three days. Kono seems to be willing to hear out an explanation, but Steve\u2019s humiliation is growing in exponential amounts.

\u201cShit, I didn\u2019t mean that. I mean, I meant that,\u201d he clarifies. \u201cBut I didn\u2019t mean to say it. I mean, I\u2019ve been saying everything. Max says I\u2019ll be saying everything, but he says I can lie, it\u2019s just a matter of picking up the right track of a thought in the case that it\u2019s a lie. I mean, I could say that I didn\u2019t want to see you, I wanted to see Danny, but I don\u2019t really want to see Danny\u2026\u201d

He would still be talking, but Kono has clasped a firm palm over his mouth.

Steve has the feeling that the sympathy he\u2019d been hoping for is a lost cause, given the look of horror on Kono\u2019s face. \u201cNo,\u201d she says firmly when Steve reaches up to try and pull her hand away. \u201cSteve,\u201d she warns. \u201cFor both our sakes, don\u2019t say another word.\u201d

Steve obeys. He lets his hands fall back down to his sides, giving her a pleading look with his eyes alone. Danny\u2019s always said it\u2019s his \u2018desperate puppy\u2019 look and that no one has been built to resist it. It proves true when Kono pulls her hand away from his mouth.

\u201cOkay, Steve, what happened?\u201d

He tells her in fits and spurts of truth and lies exactly what happened. He tells her about his meeting with the doctors and Max and about how he\u2019s been given an official reprieve from work for the next few days. He manages to keep his attention fixed on the story and doesn\u2019t break off into any other tangents.

\u201cSo, you\u2019re basically saying anything that comes to your mind,\u201d Kono says later, by the time they\u2019re out on their boards, riding the waves. He\u2019s been approved for mild exercise because it might help to break apart the chemicals in his system, but he\u2019s officially banned from anything too strenuous. Not that Steve is actually taking that fully seriously. \u201cYou probably shouldn\u2019t be coming to work,\u201d she agrees, but she\u2019s grinning. \u201cEven if I think the suspects in Oahu would really enjoy a Steve McGarrett who can\u2019t keep his mouth shut. You and Danny are like a matched set, now, no one will be able to get a word in edgewise.\u201d

Steve\u2019s expression screws up in mild pain and he really wishes that Kono hadn\u2019t mentioned Danny. It\u2019s taking all his strength not to just blurt out his random thoughts and now that Kono\u2019s mentioned Danny, it\u2019s like a goddamn reservoir is ready to spill loose with all his secrets.

\u201cIs he really still dating that guy from HPD?\u201d Steve asks, managing to hold back most of the vitriol he wants to push into those words.

\u201cWho, Eric?\u201d

\u201cThat\u2019s a ridiculous name,\u201d Steve says. \u201cAnd it\u2019s ridiculous. The whole thing is insane. Danny\u2019s suddenly dating a man? Since when is Danny anything but straight? He\u2019s practically ogling women in bikinis all the time when he\u2019s not looking at me and it\u2019s not like he\u2019s ever mentioned anything to me. We talk,\u201d Steve bites out sharply, \u201cwe talk about everything, he would have told me about this.\u201d

Kono\u2019s pressing her lips together and when Steve glares at her, whatever smile she\u2019s been hiding vanishes completely.

\u201cWhat?\u201d Steve demands.

\u201cWhen he\u2019s not looking at you?\u201d she echoes his words.

\u201cIt\u2019s like my chest has a magnet. He bitches that I take my shirt off too much, but he\u2019s clearly enjoying the view!\u201d Steve says, like he\u2019s accusing Danny of something that deserves great punishment. Steve lets out a groan as he realizes he\u2019s gone off on another tangent. He quiets himself, forcing his senses to take in the waves lapping at his board instead of the impulse to let his mouth run rampant. \u201cI think it should go unsaid that you should forget everything I say today,\u201d he insists.

\u201cAlready forgotten,\u201d Kono promises. \u201cEven if I think maybe you ought to talk to Danny.\u201d

\u201cBefore this wears off? No. No, Kono, that\u2019s an incredibly bad idea,\u201d he says, almost worriedly. \u201cThe last thing I need is for Danno to start getting wind that I\u2019m jealous of his fingerprint-boyfriend just because he looks to HPD before he looks to me. Like I haven\u2019t taken him out on dates? Like I haven\u2019t tried to be good to him? And instead, he goes running to some douchebag named Eric?\u201d

\u201cI don\u2019t think he\u2019s a bad guy, Steve,\u201d Kono says, barely holding back her laughter. \u201cActually, he\u2019s pretty nice. We went for drinks the other day.\u201d

\u201cAll I\u2019m saying,\u201d Steve says forcefully, \u201cis that after I\u2019ve taken Danny out for dinner, drinks, and out to see this island, if he wanted to date someone, he should be dating me.\u201d

\u201cMaybe he doesn\u2019t want to mix up work and pleasure, boss,\u201d Kono says gently.

Steve purses his lips together, not liking that as an answer. \u201cScrew the work-personal life mix,\u201d is what he says. \u201cHe could\u2019ve talked to me about this before he did it.\u201d

\u201cSteve, seriously,\u201d Kono says, guiding her board around to start paddling out to where the waves are cresting. \u201cTalk to Danny! He\u2019s gonna notice that you\u2019re avoiding him since everyone knows you\u2019re back! And hey, just, think up a lot of lies if you\u2019re worried about him finding out about the truth! Even though it might sort of make him hate you a little, but it\u2019s Danny,\u201d she says with a shrug. \u201cHe kind of always hates you a little.\u201d

Steve has about twenty more minutes of complaining in him and thanks to the drugs in his body, he\u2019s ready to let them loose on someone. It\u2019s a good thing that he\u2019s in the water and has no access to his phone, because the temptation to phone Danny and let him hear every single last word is so strong that it could overpower any resolve Steve has left.

*

The effects of the drug have yet to wear off by evening on Steve\u2019s first day back home. He tires of lingering around the house and watching old football games sometime around six and when he texts Chin to ask if he has any plans, he gets the reply that Chin is already on a date.

Speaking of dates\u2026

Kono said that Danny is on another date tonight with Eric at one of the nearby tiki bars. As stupid as Steve knows it is, he just pretends that he\u2019s lost a barrier between brain and common sense as well as the filter between his mind and his mouth. It\u2019s the only explanation he has for why he gets in his truck and starts driving without thinking it through.

When he gets there, he finds Danny quickly. He\u2019s sitting at a small table with the new boyfriend at the back of the restaurant. They look happy, Steve supposes. He\u2019s not exactly in the habit of inspecting people and judging their happiness, but Danny\u2019s talking expansively, his hands gesturing everywhere.

Steve can\u2019t stand looking, but at the same time, he doesn\u2019t know that he can bear to look away. He\u2019s caught in this frozen tableau when Danny looks across the restaurant and catches Steve standing there.

They stare at each other, frozen, and Steve doesn\u2019t even lift a hand to wave when Danny summons him over. He doesn\u2019t even acknowledge Danny\u2019s presence.

He gets out of there as fast as he can, speeding the whole way home. He\u2019s glad he isn\u2019t stopped because while he could probably avoid the ticket, he\u2019d probably end up saying something that gets him booked. So it\u2019s a small favor when he gets back to the house and he can take the time in the darkness to compose himself.

He grabs two Longboards and burrows down into the couch to try and let the beer take his mind off the evening. He\u2019d been an idiot to go spy on Danny, like he\u2019d expected something good to come of it. He gets through both beers quickly and goes for a third, followed by a fourth.

He\u2019s contemplating a fifth when the front door creaks slightly, a dead giveaway that there\u2019s someone in the house.

Steve tenses up, trying to remember where the closest gun is.

\u201cWho\u2019s there?\u201d he calls out sharply. He\u2019s ready to attack, but he\u2019s trying to come off like he isn\u2019t a threat. If he has the element of surprise, he\u2019ll be able to do a better job taking someone off-guard. He inches forward on the couch and while he\u2019s tipsy, it hasn\u2019t slowed down his abilities. He pivots in the dark, sights the intruder, and pins them to the floor of the foyer.

\u201cJesus fuck,\u201d is the whined reply.

Steve stares down in horror and confusion, settling back into a straddle when he realizes that he\u2019s just tackled Danny. Wait, why is Danny breaking into his house? \u201cWhat are you doing here?\u201d Steve demands, getting off Danny in order to turn on the lights. \u201cI thought you were on your date.\u201d

\u201cWhat the fuck are you doing tackling me?\u201d Danny complains, rubbing at his neck.

\u201cI asked who was there, you didn\u2019t reply!\u201d

\u201cI was going for the lights, you idiot!\u201d Danny snaps right back, his voice getting incrementally louder. \u201cJesus, I think you broke something.\u201d

\u201cDanny, you\u2019re at your least<\/i> attractive when you\u2019re complaining and that\u2019s saying something because I\u2026\u201d Steve bites down so hard on his lower lip that he draws blood, but he\u2019s managed to stop the train of thought before it\u2019s become speech. \u201cWhat are you doing here? You\u2019re supposed to be at the restaurant on your date, you\u2019re not supposed to be creeping into my house in the middle of the night. I don\u2019t need a nanny, Danno. I\u2019ve just been drinking a little, but it\u2019s a little and I had no intention of drinking a lot.\u201d

Steve knows that he\u2019s screwed.

Danny\u2019s a detective and a good one, at that. He\u2019s going to catch on to the fact that while Steve isn\u2019t giving much away, his manner of speech and the pace has become altered. A good detective like Danny isn\u2019t going to miss that.

\u201cWhat\u2019s the matter with you?\u201d

Steve remains silent. If Steve can just hold his tongue and not answer, he won\u2019t get started on any tangents that inevitably get him into trouble because then Danny will know<\/i>. He keeps his back turned, but he should have known that Danny will never just let him get away that easily. Before Steve knows it, he\u2019s getting hauled back around, forced to face Danny.

At this point in time, it\u2019s the worst possible thing that could happen.

\u201cYou got back this morning and you call Kono and you text Chin, but you don\u2019t even want to say a word to me?\u201d Danny asks incredulously. \u201cAre you kidding<\/i> me? You needed to stalk<\/i> me? You couldn\u2019t just pick up the phone and go \u2018hey, Danno, I\u2019m back from my crazy-dangerous classified mission that I refuse to tell you anything about\u2019. That was too hard?\u201d

Steve\u2019s lips feel as though they\u2019re going white with loss of blood. He\u2019s pressing them together as hard as possible to avoid rising to Danny\u2019s baiting.

\u201cKono says something happened and I\u2019m not supposed to ask you about it, but what the fuck could\u2019ve happened to unscrew your head?\u201d Danny demands, getting in so close that Steve can smell his cologne. He taps on Steve\u2019s forehead with two of his fingers, so dangerously close. \u201cHello, anyone in there!\u201d If Danny doesn\u2019t move away soon, Steve is going to pin him to the wall and tell him everything he wants to do to him, starting from the way he wants to tear the tie away from his shirt and the fact that he\u2019s going to give Danny so many hickeys, he\u2019ll look spotted.

Steve clenches his fist tightly. \u201cDanny,\u201d he gets out, choking the name out past his lips. \u201cDon\u2019t.\u201d

\u201cDon\u2019t, what? Don\u2019t demand a reasonable explanation for the crazy-ass behavior you\u2019ve been indulging in?\u201d Danny lets out a frustrated huff. \u201cI swear to god, Steven, all I want to know is why you haven\u2019t bothered to call me. Since when did we get to the point that you were lurking outside restaurants and staring at me like I\u2019ve got a restraining order on you?\u201d

Steve inhales sharply through his nose, but all that does is give him a good smell of Danny\u2019s cologne and the gel he uses in his hair. He smells Danny<\/i> and he\u2019s already using all his strength to keep from letting every truthful thing he\u2019s ever thought spill from his lips.

\u201cDanny, this is a bad idea for you to be this close to me right now, I\u2019m warning you,\u201d Steve growls out the words like he\u2019s an animal who ought to be in a cage rather than a man just talking to another man.

Danny doesn\u2019t back down. The\u2026

\u201c\u2026stubborn bastard,\u201d Steve mutters, unable to keep a hold on his tongue anymore. \u201cYou seriously couldn\u2019t listen to me? Just once in your life, you couldn\u2019t listen to me? What\u2019s the matter with you, Danny? I\u2019m practically at my wit\u2019s end with you here and I would\u2019ve been fine if you just avoided me and let me ignore you so I didn\u2019t do anything stupid like jump you right here when you have a boyfriend. Which, we need to talk about sometime,\u201d Steve jumps thoughts from track A to track B and then back to the first. \u201cI got something in my bloodstream, okay? And it\u2019ll be gone in a few days, but until then, I\u2019m pretty much saying everything that comes to mind. Good, bad, truth, lies, everything. So right now, I could tell you that I loathe your guts more than anything because you\u2019re the worst example of a human being I\u2019ve ever met and I could tell you that I want nothing more than to drop to my knees and suck your dick until you scream my name, but you\u2019d never know the truth or the lie. All you\u2019ll know is that you pushed me to this and I can\u2019t stop talking, Danny,\u201d Steve says, starting to sound panicked, \u201cI can\u2019t stop talking. Are you happy? Are you happy that you figured out that I\u2019m a little bit of a mess around you because I don\u2019t know what you do to me? I can\u2019t actually<\/i> put into words the effect you have on me. Does that make you happy?\u201d

Danny looks like Steve\u2019s physically struck him in the face instead of Steve\u2019s words doing the trick. Whatever the weapon, it\u2019s led to this.

Steve grimaces heavily and shuts his eyes tight, pressing his hand against his forehead. \u201cDanny, get out of here before I say something worse. I\u2019ll be back to the office in three days when I\u2019m not trying to talk you out of your relationship because I\u2019d rather be the one who makes you smile like that.\u201d

He sighs, aware that the longer Danny remains, the more Steve is going to say \u2013 and the more he\u2019ll regret.

\u201cDanny,\u201d Steve says warningly.

\u201cI\u2019m going, Steve, I\u2019m going. I\u2019ll call you tomorrow, okay?\u201d

\u201cDanny, no, don\u2019t do\u2026\u201d Steve tries to shout after him, but he\u2019s gone out the front door, \u201c\u2026that,\u201d he sighs.

He\u2019s left alone with too much said and not enough alcohol running through his system. Steve debates the merits of going for another drink, but in the end, he sits in the chair in the living room and stares at the walls of the house like he can bring them down with a glare alone.

*

His cell phone rings at nine the next morning.

Steve hadn\u2019t falling asleep until four AM and it had been uneasy. His dreams had been riddled with nightmares thanks to the latest mission and he can\u2019t see it getting better anytime soon. Nine o\u2019clock rolls around, the phone rings, and Steve glares metaphorical daggers at it before he picks it up.

He knows that his situation hasn\u2019t improved any when the first thing he says is, \u201cI\u2019m gonna hunt you down and kill you for calling at this hour.\u201d

Thank god<\/i> it\u2019s only Danny.

\u201cAnd good morning to you, too,\u201d Danny replies brightly.

\u201cDanno, what did I say about not interacting with me?\u201d Steve asks, his voice rough with sleep. He\u2019s still not entirely sure he\u2019s not dreaming. \u201cI swear to god, if this is a dream, even my dream version of you is an idiot. Danny, we can\u2019t do this. There are lines I refuse to cross and one of them involves getting in between someone and their significant other.\u201d

\u201cSteve, shut up,\u201d Danny orders.

\u201cDanny,\u201d Steve says, his patience on one of the world\u2019s shortest strings at this point. \u201cI have been trying to tell you<\/i> that I can\u2019t<\/i>.\u201d

\u201cShut up and tell me what you want to do to me.\u201d

\u201cDanny, remember how I said I wanted to kill you? That\u2019s only increased in the last few moments,\u201d Steve gets out, his voice descending into husky territory as he fights every last impulse that drives him to talk<\/i>. In the end, he loses and gives in to the desire. \u201cDanny,\u201d he says raggedly. \u201cI want to pin you down to my bed and shut you up. You have no idea how badly I want to force your mouth shut and I want to do it with my dick, make you wrap those goddamn perfect lips around it and just suck because I can\u2019t stop thinking about it. I think about fucking your mouth every goddamn time you even so much as go near something that you wrap your lips around. The other week? The day when Chin offered you that cigar and you practically fellated it, I had a hard-on I had to hide behind my desk the whole day.\u201d

There\u2019s silence on the other end, but even sheer humiliation can\u2019t stop Steve from rambling onwards.

Steve lets out a slow exhalation. \u201cFuck, Danny, you have no idea how badly I want to get those clothes off you. I\u2019ve thoughts about getting you on missions with me where you get soaked just so I can pry the dripping wet clothes off of your body, button by button, using that tie to bind your wrists together and pinning you face-down on the bed while I get you ready for me and then fuck you until you can\u2019t even remember your own name. Danny, why are you making me do this, you\u2019re with that guy, you\u2019re with Eric\u2026\u201d

\u201cSteve, just, keep talking. Trust me.\u201d Danny\u2019s voice sounds strange, but Steve doesn\u2019t have time to focus on it when he\u2019s occupied with a hundred thoughts that threaten to undo him.

Steve shifts in bed, his hand slipping under the sheets. \u201cDanny, I\u2019m touching myself,\u201d he says because he can\u2019t prevent himself from doing it and Danny knows it. \u201cAnd I hate you right now. I hate you for not coming to me first and I hate you for deciding to date some HPD guy who does fingerprints<\/i>. I\u2019ve been taking you on dates since halfway through our partnership and you never even acted like you noticed. I thought you were straight because if you were straight, then I\u2019d understand.\u201d

\u201cSteve, I didn\u2019t know, okay? I didn\u2019t know you were serious. You\u2019re not very good with human-to-human interaction, you know that? I wasn\u2019t sure if the mating ritual was just your version of polite company,\u201d Danny says heatedly. At the tail end of his words, Steve hears a slam of a door from somewhere nearby and then the echo of Danny\u2019s voice from somewhere extremely<\/i> close-by. \u201cLook, there\u2019s something you should know.\u201d

\u201cIs it that you\u2019re in my house? Because if that\u2019s not you, I\u2019m getting out my gun,\u201d Steve warns.

The heavy steps on the staircase come to a stop at Steve\u2019s door and it\u2019s Danny, all right. He hangs up the cell when Danny does the same and they both put them away in tandem. It\u2019s a strange little reversal of their first meeting and Steve appreciates that.

\u201cWhat should I know?\u201d Steve asks.

\u201cI broke up with the guy at that dinner you crashed. Before you even got there,\u201d Danny clarifies as he slides his cell into his front pocket, fidgeting with the knot of his tie before sliding his palm fully down over the fabric. \u201cI guess maybe he wasn\u2019t what I had in mind for a relationship.\u201d

Steve would\u2019ve normally stayed quiet, but the thing is that his blood contains amounts of a drug that makes him let loose everything. It seems to be getting control of his limbs as well, which is the only explanation for why he surges forward and grabs hold of Danny\u2019s tie with one hand, the other wrapped around his bicep, and far more fixated on pulling Danny down into bed than anything else.

\u201cMy goddamn mating ritual<\/i> is not that hard to read,\u201d Steve growls when he isn\u2019t busy throwing Danny\u2019s tie across the room and undoing every last button in sight, right up until he has zippers to think about rather than fabric and buttons. He slips his palm against the defined curve of Danny\u2019s hips and lets his thumb trail slowly lower as he loosens Danny\u2019s pants and pushes them down around his knees.

Danny\u2019s breath is starting to sound labored and hitched.

\u201cThis is such a bad idea,\u201d Steve admits, lips pressed up against Danny\u2019s neck. \u201cI don\u2019t care if you broke up with him. You\u2019re just off a relationship and I can\u2019t shut up.\u201d

\u201cYou know,\u201d Danny says with a smirk, \u201cthat\u2019s one of the advantages of doing this.\u201d

\u201cFuck you, Danno.\u201d

\u201cI\u2019ve been trying to get at that, Steven.\u201d

\u201cAs hard as I am right now, we\u2019re not having sex.\u201d He reaches for Danny\u2019s hand and shoves it down into his pants. \u201cNot that you jerking me off could hurt. We could think of it like a glimpse into what\u2019ll come next when I\u2019m not feeling like a guilty creep for crashing by the restaurant when you were just dumping him. Plus, I mean, I didn\u2019t even think you would give me a shot.\u201d He bucks his hips into Danny\u2019s waiting palm and lets out a ragged groan. \u201cFuck, Danny, I can\u2019t even stop talking and I can barely think right now, all I can think is, fuck, how good you smell and feel, that I know where those calluses come from. Fuck, I\u2019m gonna\u2026I\u2019m gonna come,\u201d Steve gets out a warning tersely, but it\u2019s not much warning before he\u2019s spilling all over Danny\u2019s hand.

He collapses back against the bed, his body feeling like lead. His shoulder blades dig against his sheets, Danny collapsing on top of him, clothes strewn in messy array \u2013 at least, the half Steve hasn\u2019t dismissed to opposite ends of the room.

\u201cWhy couldn\u2019t you have just left well-enough alone?\u201d Steve protests tiredly when he can wiggle his toes and think at the same time. It\u2019s not the best orgasm he\u2019s ever had, but considering the circumstances, it\u2019s far from the worst. He\u2019s looking forward to improving over time, truth be told.

Danny smirks down at him from his position atop Steve. \u201cAre you kidding me?\u201d he asks dubiously. \u201cSince when have I ever<\/i> known to leave well enough alone. You must know a different Danny Williams because that, my friend, that is not me.\u201d

Steve lets out a grimace when Danny shifts and puts a large amount of his weight against Steve\u2019s torso. Temporarily, he can\u2019t breathe and shoves Danny off swiftly, making sure to collect him closer before he can get too far.

\u201cSo, what other deep dirty secrets are you hiding in there, huh?\u201d Danny asks, tapping on Steve\u2019s forehead with his fingers, smoothing out the pads and tracing them down Steve\u2019s cheeks.

Steve tries to stop himself, but his resolve has faded away with his climax and he\u2019s helpless. \u201cI really like it when your hair gets ridiculous and I like it even more when you get ridiculous about the hair. There are times, Danno, when you just have a way of saying certain words and I don\u2019t even know how I haven\u2019t jumped you in the Camaro or bent you straight over the hood. Why do you think I keep taking my shirt off?\u201d

\u201cThis is all, this is all fascinating,\u201d Danny says, sounding like he\u2019s barely keeping the laughter from his voice. \u201cBut I\u2019m gonna kiss you now, Steve, before you tell me anything else ridiculous.\u201d

\u201cI find you more attractive than Erik Estrada.\u201d

\u201cYeah, like that,\u201d Danny laughs, cupping Steve cheek as he leans in to press a slow kiss to Steve\u2019s lips, effectively hushing him before any other traitorous thoughts can rush out into the air between them.

*

The effects of the sodium amytal fade away a day earlier than Steve had been expecting, but it\u2019s still two days too long. He\u2019s told Danny no shortage of embarrassing facts that he doesn\u2019t doubt will come back to haunt him in future. They still have yet to actually have sex. They\u2019d gotten close the other night, but then Steve had blurted out a little something about how sometimes he pictures Rachel and Danny in the bedroom, which had effectively killed the mood.

Today, Steve wakes up, drapes an arm around Danny\u2019s naked torso and presses a slow kiss to his shoulder. Danny turns over drowsily and lets out a sleepy sound. \u201cMcGarrett, after what you did to me last night with your tongue, you better not be expecting me to be coherent.\u201d

Steve grins lazily and though there are a dozen thoughts and retorts popping to mind, he doesn\u2019t feel compelled to share a single one of them. That\u2019s the instantaneous moment that he knows everything is back to normal.

It seems a shame to let Danny off the hook without a comment.

\u201cGood thing I never need to dose you with truth serum,\u201d Steve murmurs against Danny\u2019s neck, laying sleepy morning-kisses against the warm skin. \u201cNo point in going to all that trouble when my tongue has the same effect.\u201d

He manages to shut Danny up by kissing away any forthcoming protests and takes stock of the day, looking forward to mining out every last one of Danny\u2019s secrets, even if he has to do it the hard<\/i> way.

THE END","comments":"https:\/\/andrealyn.livejournal.com\/1518623.html?view=comments#comments"},{"guid":"https:\/\/andrealyn.livejournal.com\/1512285.html","pubDate":"Sun, 10 Apr 2011 18:24:51 GMT","title":"Title: Lend Me Your Heart","author":"andrealyn","link":"https:\/\/andrealyn.livejournal.com\/1512285.html","description":"Title: Lend Me Your Heart<\/b>
Pairing<\/b>: Steve\/Danny
Rating:<\/b> PG-13
Disclaimer<\/b>: I don't own them, not today, not tomorrow, not even with hats.
Word Count<\/b>: 12,574
Summary<\/b>: It\u2019s the last time Steve sees Danny Williams before his whole world changes.<\/i> Three years after Danny leaves Steve and Five-O, he comes back, ready to bring Wo Fat to justice.
Notes<\/b>: Thanks endlessly to <\/a>gyzym<\/b><\/a><\/span> for the beta. The title is from Mumford & Sons' song Awake My Soul<\/i>.



Steve will never forget this day. As it happens, it\u2019s a blur and a rush, too much at once clouding his rational judgment. When he calms down, he sees the moment for its importance. All he can feel as he and Danny fight is the fury and the rage that goes hand-in-hand with frustration and helplessness.

\u201cIf you can\u2019t even respect my advice and acknowledge that I protested this, exactly this<\/i>, Steve, then I do not<\/i> know what I\u2019m doing here,\u201d is the last thing Danny says to Steve before he takes off his ring.

Danny is all bravado and bluff (or so Steve thinks) as he lifts his ring in the air, the last rays of daylight catching the gold and glinting. He sets it heavily on the computer table. It\u2019s the last thing he does before walking out of Five-O Headquarters. It\u2019s the last Steve time sees Danny Williams before his whole world changes.

They talk in the coming days. They have to, what with the divorce Danny insists upon. Their communication is limited to phone calls and lawyers acting as barriers. Steve tries to apologize again and again, but it\u2019s no use. Danny transfers out to HPD and avoids Steve as if simple contact would tarnish Danny forever.

It all happens because of one bad decision.

Steve will come to regret it as the worst decision he\u2019s ever made. At the time, he had thought it a necessary evil to get to Wo Fat after years of searching and eluded escapes. After the plan had gone awry and the funerals were held, Steve had relied on one desperate fact: it was Danny. It was Danny and he would come back. He would come to his senses and he\u2019d come back.

Steve had no idea how wrong he could be.

*

THREE YEARS LATER<\/i><\/center>

\u201cHeads up,\u201d Chin says when Kono comes into the office on Wednesday morning. \u201cThe new one quit.\u201d

Kono\u2019s pace falters, barely in the door. In the five years that she and Chin have been working for Steve McGarrett, they\u2019ve only taken days off in the event of immense and dire physical need, but Chin\u2019s news is reason enough to start taking personal days to avoid the inevitable fallout. She sighs and glances over her shoulder, as if assessing an escape route. \u201cWhat\u2019s that make? Six?\u201d

\u201cNo, seven,\u201d Chin says, joining her at the entrance. He taps her at the elbow and tries to draw her inside before she can think better of getting out. \u201cThat\u2019s just the bad news. I have worse.\u201d

\u201cWhat\u2019s worse than Steve burning through another partner?\u201d Kono asks, irritable in the face of a bad day. She didn\u2019t think she could get so annoyed after a morning spent out on the waves, but Steve seems to always exceed her greatest expectations. \u201cI thought Kahue was going to last. She had that crazy-eyed glint in her eye that Steve always did.\u201d

\u201cShe did,\u201d Chin agrees, walking Kono inside with slow steps, \u201cright up until McGarrett zip-lined himself with gun in hand to knock down a murderer before either of them were properly fastened.\u201d

Kono bites back an angry curse and it\u2019s only Chin\u2019s hand at her elbow that stops her from charging into Steve\u2019s office to ask what he was even thinking<\/i>. \u201cWhat\u2019s the worse news?\u201d

\u201cHPD wants to bring us in on the tail end of a case because it has links to Wo Fat and they know of our personal history with the man,\u201d Chin says, continuing to walk her into the office. \u201cMcGarrett\u2019s not here yet,\u201d he adds, which seems out of place right up until they turn the corner and Kono sees Danny Williams sitting on the couch in her office.

Yeah<\/i>. This is much, much worse than \u2018bad news\u2019.

\u201cCuz, you should\u2019ve let me turn around and leave when I had a shot,\u201d Kono says, shaking her head.

\u201cAnd leave me here alone for the fallout? No chance,\u201d Chin says, opening the door to Kono\u2019s office. He\u2019s all smiles instantly and Kono wishes she could be the same, but Danny\u2019s presence at Five-O is only a sign that today is going to be rough.

In three years, she thinks Steve and Danny have physically crossed paths exactly twice. Danny does his best to avoid her boss, despite Steve\u2019s best attempts otherwise. He\u2019d moved house, won\u2019t tell anyone where he lives, and had Toast keep Steve blocked from finding out the new address. Kono doesn\u2019t blame him. The argument that pressed the final nail in the coffin that was their partnership and their short-lived marriage happened because in Steve\u2019s desperation to get the man that killed his parents, he had used innocent people as bait against Danny\u2019s protests.

Two people died in the ensuing firefight.

Kono\u2019s not sure that Danny\u2019s forgiven Steve for that, even now. She\u2019s still not sure, some days, if she has either, but she understands that Steve did it for his family. Danny can be a little short-sighted, but Kono knows that Steve was worried about Wo Fat hurting more people \u2013 hurting Five-O and Danny and Grace<\/i>.

Since then, Kono and Chin have seen Danny socially, but only because he insists there are no hard feelings between them. It\u2019s Steve he wants to avoid, but that d\u00e9tente seems to be ending today.

\u201cHPD sent you over?\u201d Kono asks as she takes long steps into the room and pulls Danny to his feet by grabbing both of his hands and surrounding him in a tight embrace, kissing him once on the cheek. \u201cYou look good,\u201d she adds, flicking the end of his tie with her fingers. \u201cStill on this kick, huh?\u201d

\u201cStill presentable,\u201d Danny clarifies with a finger pointed to the knot of the tie. \u201cI will have you know, the new Captain complimented my professionalism just last week.\u201d He leans sideways, grasping at Chin\u2019s hand with both of his to shake it firmly. For now, Kono can pretend that they\u2019re just old friends meeting up, but the storm hasn\u2019t even moved to shore yet.

She glances to Chin, then back to Danny, and bites the bullet. \u201cDoes he know you\u2019re here?\u201d

\u201cAs of right now, nope,\u201d Danny says, enunciating his consonants heavily. \u201cHe was given the message by the Governor that a representative from HPD would be sent over. I tried my best to get out of it, but what do you know, you make yourself an expert on a case and they refuse to send the second-in-command.\u201d

He looks strained, new wrinkles around his eyes that weren\u2019t there three years ago and he doesn\u2019t seem to smile half as much as he used to.

\u201cLook, I don\u2019t like this,\u201d Danny says, shoulders hunched forward as if he\u2019s trying to let his body cave in on itself in order to hide. \u201cBut this isn\u2019t about me and Steve. We\u2019ve spent over a year getting to this point. Now we\u2019ve got a real lead on Wo Fat through some gun smugglers and some informants inside his organization that we turned a couple months back. I\u2019m not about to let our history get in the way of that.\u201d

There\u2019s a heavy pause and Kono wonders when Danny\u2019s going to ask the expected question.

In the end, she gets impatient and answers before Danny can even ask. \u201cHe\u2019s not fine, you know.\u201d She could lie. She could lie and say that Steve\u2019s thrived with reckless ambition since Danny left him, but it\u2019s not the truth. Steve seems determined to rid himself of every last partner he either chooses or is assigned, no matter where they come from. He\u2019s had too many close calls to count in three years. \u201cHe was in the hospital two months ago and his new partner just quit.\u201d

Danny presses his lips together. There\u2019s a slight twitch at the corner of his mouth and he sighs out a quiet, \u201cI know,\u201d before glancing away to the side. \u201cJust because I divorce a guy doesn\u2019t mean I don\u2019t worry, okay? I visited. When I was sure he was out of it, but I visited.\u201d

\u201cAnd here I thought that was just the drugs.\u201d

The heavy thud of a bag hitting the floor alerts Kono to Steve\u2019s presence in the office. She instantly takes her hands off Danny\u2019s person, like the sound of Steve\u2019s voice has physically caused her to recoil. Steve keeps walking forwards and Danny seems to melt back into the couch, like he\u2019s looking for escape.

\u201cI thought I was hallucinating. I hadn\u2019t seen you in over a year, and suddenly there you were, looking\u2026like you weren\u2019t even real,\u201d Steve says, his forehead knit in confusion.

Danny avoids looking straight at Steve. \u201cI wanted to make sure you were still alive because my daughter was asking about your safety. Don\u2019t make it into something it isn\u2019t.\u201d Steve takes a step backwards, sufficiently burned by the words, and Kono watches the pain flicker over his expression for a matter of seconds before he lets a mask rise up and hide any hint of outward emotion.

\u201cYou\u2019re the liaison?\u201d

\u201cThat\u2019s me,\u201d Danny confirms. \u201cFiles are already on your desk and I\u2019m only here today to make sure you\u2019re aware of the drop-off. I\u2019m heading back to HPD to go over audio surveillance and I\u2019ll be back tomorrow to check in on how far you\u2019ve gotten with the reports.\u201d

Kono feels her stomach twist with something like despair. Danny never used to sound this distant when they built themselves up as a family and used that connection to make the island a better place. The years have changed him or maybe it happened after he passed through the crucible of the incident with Steve, but either way, Danny hasn\u2019t changed for the better.

She\u2019s sure that Steve feels the same as she does, but the boss just looks pissed<\/i> and she doesn\u2019t want to read too much into it.

Danny gets to his feet, smoothing his hands over his shirt to brush away invisible pieces of lint. \u201cKono has my work number if you need anything.\u201d

\u201cAnd your new cell?\u201d Steve asks.

Danny gives a look that clearly says \u2018nice try\u2019. \u201cKono has my work number,\u201d he repeats, the inflection in his words almost chastising, like Steve\u2019s a puppy who\u2019s just done something very wrong. \u201cChin, Kono, it was good to see you again. McGarrett,\u201d he adds with a nod, \u201ctry and stay out of the goddamn hospital, would you?\u201d

And then he\u2019s gone.

Kono doesn\u2019t even know how to process what just happened. Steve looks stunned, Chin seems worried, and she\u2019s\u2026she doesn\u2019t even know what she is, just yet. So instead of worrying about the dynamics of this case, she\u2019s going to focus on the facts. \u201cWe should start going over HPD\u2019s information if we want to be able to discuss the case by tomorrow,\u201d she says, breaking the silence.

\u201cGood idea, I\u2019ll get the computer up and running,\u201d Chin says on the heels of her words, as eager as she is to do actual work. He bolts out of the room, but Kono lingers, drifting closer to Steve\u2019s side and resting a hand on his upper arm.

Steve doesn\u2019t shift at the touch. He stays impossibly still, staring out the window to where Danny is getting in his Camaro to drive back to HPD.

\u201cBoss? Are you gonna be okay?\u201d Kono asks gently.

\u201cI\u2019ll make do.\u201d

They all will, she supposes, not that it\u2019s the easiest thing in the world, but they\u2019re Five-O. They excel in the hardest of tasks.

*

Five years ago, Steve forced Danny onto his task force, learned that his new partner had a wicked bite to go along with all his amusing bark, and got punched in the face when he expected Danny to fall in line. Steve had come out of that knowing he\u2019d found someone who could stay by his side and would challenge him when it mattered, but still follow him when it was important. Their relationship had stayed professional for months until Danny turned up at his doorstep with a six-pack of Longboards and a sheepish look on his face.

\u201cTell me you\u2019re not tired of waiting,\u201d he\u2019d said.

They\u2019d just laid Meka to rest and Steve hadn\u2019t been sure that it was the right time, but once he kissed Danny, tasted the hint of beer and sweat, he stopped caring. It felt as groundbreaking as it had when Danny had punched him across the face, like a signal from the universe telling him, this changes everything<\/i>.

Lazy kisses turned into desperate groping and they began to make a habit of it. They made their excuses and escaped from the office to fumble around on Steve\u2019s couch for months before they even approached the idea of sex. By then, Steve had lost count of how many blowjobs and handjobs they\u2019d each racked up in their respective favors.

A year and two months after Danny was forcibly assigned to Five-O, Steve had grabbed him by the wrist, pulled him into a kiss, and said (on a whim), \u201cLet\u2019s just get married.\u201d

Steve got eight months of marriage before it all fell apart. He knows that no marriage ends with one party fully innocent, but Steve knows full well that he shoulders the heavy burden of the guilt. Danny didn\u2019t put the work into fixing it after it broke and Steve knows that being burned once by Rachel had a hand in that, but it doesn\u2019t stop Steve from being furious that Danny couldn\u2019t even give him the decency of a second chance.

At the same time (and this is something he tells himself every time he pulls out the newspaper obits and the multitude of articles about the case), Steve\u2019s not even sure he\u2019s forgiven himself for what he did, let alone that he deserves a second chance from Danny.

They\u2019d been so close. Steve had Wo Fat in his sights and it was a risky gambit, but Steve had been so sure<\/i>. He\u2019d been so sure right up until the point of Chin\u2019s panicked cry in his earpiece announcing that it was a set-up, that it was a trap, and they had to evacuate the restaurant immediately<\/i>\u2026

By that point, it was too late.

Suddenly, Steve\u2019s life was a mess of inquiries, articles, and divorce papers on his desk. No matter how many times Steve called to beg Danny to rethink, he never managed to convince Danny to give it a second shot, to give them<\/i> a chance.

Now here they are, three years later, Wo Fat back in the picture and Danny working on the case with them.

Steve tightens his grip on his pen. He\u2019s tired of going over the same files he\u2019s seen a dozen times already. HPD and Five-O generally share information and with minor exceptions, none of this is new to him. Instead of coming up with a plan, all he\u2019s been doing is thinking about how he can use this case to his advantage.

He\u2019ll get Wo Fat this time. He\u2019ll find him and he\u2019ll earn the justice that he\u2019s been seeking since he learned the truth.

And Danny\u2019s going to help him.

He doesn\u2019t have a choice.

*

HPD is a swirling rush of activity, but Danny is still and steady at his desk, trying to get hold of someone\u2019s attention. \u201cHey! Andrew, you gonna have that report for me in the morning?\u201d The younger officer barely stops to nod on his way out of the building, but at least Danny\u2019s got his answer.

Danny\u2019s not even close to being done for the night. When the other detectives don\u2019t have pressing cases and five o\u2019clock rolls around, there\u2019s nothing in the world that could stop them from rushing out the front door to get home to their families. Danny doesn\u2019t blame them. If tonight was one of his Grace-nights, he\u2019d be out of there as fast as you could say \u2018oh god, my baby girl is thirteen years old\u2019. Danny doesn\u2019t have Grace for another four days, which gives him four days to obsess over his most recent case and to pour his energy into something other than thinking of Steve before his mind is blissfully lifted of these concerns.

This case gives Danny a bad feeling he can\u2019t shake.

He knows that time has passed, but after what McGarrett did the last time they got this close to Wo Fat, he\u2019s not sure that he wants to see what he\u2019s planned for this time around. Detective Hale stops by his desk on his way out to promise that by noon tomorrow, Danny will have transcripts from the latest wiretaps and upcoming interviews with their informants, which means they\u2019ll be in a better position to evaluate a strategy. While there is hope, there\u2019s a shadow that seems to lurk over everything and Danny can\u2019t decide whether it\u2019s haunting him professionally or personally.

That bad feeling compounds when the last of HPD\u2019s staff files out and Steve McGarrett comes in, a paper bag clasped in his fingertips.

\u201cThree years,\u201d Danny gets out through his tensed jaw, \u201cThree years, I ask you to stay away from me because I had nothing to say to you. What do you think changed that?\u201d

\u201cThat changed,\u201d Steve replies, mimicking Danny\u2019s terse tone, \u201cwhen we started working on a case together. Chin told me you messaged him saying you\u2019d be here most of the evening. I know how annoyed you get when you have to do paperwork on your own, so I\u2019m here to help.\u201d He offers a flash of a tentative grin. \u201cAnd I brought dinner.\u201d

\u201cSteve, stop it,\u201d Danny begs, the words pushed past his lips before he\u2019s even aware that he wants to say them. \u201cWhatever you\u2019re doing, just stop.\u201d

\u201cDanno, it\u2019s dinner and an offer to help with your paperwork.\u201d

\u201cDid you think that I\u2019d turned into an idiot?\u201d Danny asks, setting aside the stack of forms he\u2019s filling out to make sure that everything in this case is one-hundred percent legit and that Wo Fat won\u2019t get out on a technicality down the road. \u201cDo you think that absence from you has dulled my skills of deduction? Because I\u2019m telling you right now, Steve, they are as clear as ever,\u201d he says, just getting started. \u201cSo don\u2019t come in here saying that it\u2019s dinner and help, don\u2019t do that. Because I see you. I see you like I saw you every day we worked together and I can still read you like a book, McGarrett. I can read the way you knit your brows in concentration like I\u2019m a puzzle and you\u2019re just now figuring out where the pieces go. I see the way you\u2019re controlling that smile because you know what that goofy idiot smile of yours does to me and I think you think that if you make a show of restraining it, I\u2019ll find that modesty endearing. But guess what,\u201d he says sharply. \u201cI don\u2019t. I don\u2019t because all I can see<\/i> when I look at you is the man who didn\u2019t listen to me, who told me that he knew best, and went forward with a plan that I disapproved of. And do you know what happened? You lost my trust and innocent lives and the latter\u2019s worse, but the former, Steve, the former hurt. So don\u2019t come in here with dinner and Danno and those smiles.\u201d

It hurts to be saying this, but Steve needs to hear it. If he\u2019s going to come in here and pretend that nothing is wrong, Danny plans on setting him straight.

\u201cI\u2019m not an idiot. I never have been,\u201d Danny says quietly, losing steam as he finishes.

There\u2019s a long pause and Danny thinks that he\u2019s been too kind with his words, because Steve doesn\u2019t leave.

\u201cSteven\u2026\u201d

\u201cYou could have given us a shot at talking it out,\u201d Steve says heatedly. \u201cYeah, I fucked up. I screwed up,\u201d Steve says, getting louder with every word. \u201cBut you just walked out, you couldn\u2019t even try.\u201d

\u201cNot after what you did,\u201d Danny says, trying to shut down the conversation before it gets worse. \u201cStay if you\u2019re gonna stay. I have a pile of forms to fill out and you\u2019ve got a working hand. So help. Help or go.\u201d

Steve stays.

Danny isn\u2019t sure why, but that surprises him.

*

Just before everything went awry, Steve\u2019s favorite time of day was the early morning. Danny moved into his place after they eloped, and every morning meant that he woke with his lips brushing against warm skin, his fingers buried in the mess of Danny\u2019s curled and untamed hair. It was a kind of peace, a sort of love he hadn\u2019t experienced much, and he basked in every moment he had of it.

Since the divorce, Catherine has shared his bed a few times, but for the most part, he wakes up alone.

He wakes up alone this morning as well, but it hurts more than it has for the last thousand nights. Maybe it\u2019s because he spent the night with Danny, working well into the early hours of the morning. Maybe it\u2019s because the scent of Danny\u2019s aftershave is back to driving him crazy and his fingers are itching to touch the stubble of his jaw. He\u2019s been so close and Steve can\u2019t do a thing about it because he\u2019s still not forgiven and he doesn\u2019t know how to fix it.

He doesn\u2019t know if he can<\/i> fix this.

He rolls over, amassing the sheets in his hands as he stares blearily at the alarm clock and tries to debate whether he should get up and swim or whether he should spend the next hour lazing. He\u2019d gone to bed late, but he\u2019s up early. He\u2019s never been able to break his body of that habit.

Danny had given him such deep shit for that.

\u201cWeekends,\u201d he\u2019d said with a groan of protest, \u201care for sleeping in. Seven AM is not sleeping in, McGarrett, why did I ever marry you?\u201d

Funny how all those jibes and taunts sting a lot more, now.

In the end, the decision is made for him when his cell rings. Steve groans audibly and grabs at it, yawning as he looks at the call display. DANNY WILLIAMS-MCG<\/b>.

Funny how he never got around to changing that, either. Danny\u2019s calling him from the old cell phone, the one that he never answers anymore. Steve had always clung to the fact that he kept it as some kind of hope, but maybe that\u2019s reaching too far.

He presses talk as fast as his fingers allow, phone to his ear. \u201cWhat is it, did you find something, what\u2019s going on?\u201d he asks rapid-fire, bolting from the bed to get dressed as quickly as possible. By the time he gets a t-shirt and a pair of cargo pants on, Danny still hasn\u2019t said anything. \u201cDanny?\u201d

\u201cI realized, when I filed all the paperwork that you helped me finish, that maybe I was a little hotheaded with you last night,\u201d Danny says and it sounds like he\u2019s under duress. If Steve didn\u2019t know better, he\u2019d think someone had a talking-to with Danny about how he treats people and how flies always prefer honey over vinegar.

Steve smirks, glad that Danny can\u2019t see him over the phone. \u201cYou? Hotheaded? Never.\u201d

\u201cHey, asshole, I can hear you smirking,\u201d Danny accuses. \u201cAnyway, I thought maybe I could extend an olive branch and offer you breakfast. The diner just outside Five-O headquarters? I figure there\u2019s no harm in making sure our working relationship runs smoothly. Neither of us can afford to fuck up this collar just because we\u2019re bitter divorcees. Some of us, twice-over.\u201d

\u201cBreakfast sounds good. I can be there in fifteen.\u201d

\u201cUsed to be, you could be there in ten,\u201d Danny says after a moment\u2019s beat, something like nostalgia in his tone.

\u201cUsed to be, I had a Camaro before someone got it in the divorce,\u201d Steve retorts instantly. \u201cMy truck doesn\u2019t make half the time I used to make in your car.\u201d

\u201cHallelujah, at least he\u2019s calling it my car,\u201d Danny says and Steve might be imagining things, but he\u2019s going to pretend that he hears a smile in Danny\u2019s tone. It\u2019s not much to go on, but it\u2019s just enough to give him hope. \u201cFifteen minutes?\u201d Danny asks one more time.

Steve agrees and gets there in ten, anyway.

He goes to their<\/i> booth and takes mild satisfaction in the look on the waitresses\u2019 face when she sees Steve sitting in his regular spot. He and Danny used to come here all the time when they were dating and Lauren, their regular waitress, had their orders memorized. \u201cThe same?\u201d she asks warily. \u201cIt\u2019s been a long time.\u201d

\u201cThe usual,\u201d Steve says. He drums his fingers on the table, switching his hand when he realizes he\u2019s tapping the left hand and you can see the pale line where his ring used to sit.

The divorce might have been finalized years ago, but Steve only recently stopped wearing his ring. He\u2019d been too reluctant to accept that the divorce was going to go through and by the time that it had, Steve had held out hope of tracking down Danny. Except that Danny never answered Steve\u2019s calls on the old cell and Steve could never get a read on what his address actually was, hiding under a ridiculous \u2018classified\u2019 entry.

Toast, of course, insisted he knew nothing about any of this, but Steve could smell Danny\u2019s fingerprints all over it.

His last resort had been Rachel, but apparently exes aren\u2019t bound together by any kind of code. She\u2019d kindly told him that if Danny wanted to be found, he\u2019d let Steve find him.

\u201cHey, you ordered already?\u201d Danny asks as he comes in, sitting down to find a cup of coffee already waiting for him. He takes off his suit jacket and drapes it over the booth, sliding in after it and attacking his coffee like it\u2019s a strategic op. \u201cYou have no clue how bad I needed this.\u201d

Steve relaxes back in the booth, gesturing to the jacket. \u201cWhen\u2019d that start? Hawaii not hot enough for you, you had to add another layer?\u201d

\u201cI got used to the heat, what can I say? Plus, you know, if I want to be Captain of the department when Captain Kamaka retires, I gotta dress the part.\u201d Danny picks up his coffee and takes a slow sip from it. \u201cYou dress for the job you want, isn\u2019t that the saying? So, you know, you<\/i>, you dress like you want to be a model for Eddie Bauer. Which is not a bad aspiration, but all I\u2019m saying is that it wouldn\u2019t kill you to wear an actual shirt once in a blue moon.\u201d

\u201cYou\u2019re trying for a promotion? That sounds like you\u2019re putting down roots here.\u201d Steve doesn\u2019t like to think about the implications that Danny is doing that without needing Steve. He knows that Grace tethers him to the island, but Steve had always counted on Five-O doing the rest of the job in getting Danny to stay. \u201cI guess this place does look good on you.\u201d

\u201cHey,\u201d Danny says quietly, their orders arriving at the table during the long silence that passes between them. \u201cI\u2019m just playing the cards I got dealt. That\u2019s all.\u201d

They sit in silence, cutlery scraping against their plates as they eat respective usual breakfasts. Steve\u2019s appetite is pretty low, but he still manages to put half his food away, never taking his eyes off Danny in the meantime.

\u201cI\u2019m a little surprised,\u201d Danny admits, pressing his napkin to his lips. \u201cI mean, I figured you\u2019d remember my coffee order, I figured you\u2019d still know which side of the bed I like to sleep on\u2026\u201d

\u201cThe right, with one of my pillows to curl up with instead of me,\u201d Steve interrupts to prove just how much he knows.

\u201c\u2026I did not expect you to remember eggs over easy with brown toast and apricot jam on one side only,\u201d Danny says, using a triangular piece of toast to gesture in Steve\u2019s direction before taking a large bite out of it. Steve\u2019s attention is drawn to Danny\u2019s lips and he lets it linger there before remembering that Danny\u2019s not here to reignite anything. They\u2019re here to work a case.

Steve clears his throat, forcibly moving his attention to the matter at hand. He can deal with their personal life later. Now that Danny is back in his world, there\u2019s no choice in the matter, as far as he\u2019s concerned.

\u201cWe went over the information you\u2019ve compiled. For the most part, it\u2019s similar to what we already have,\u201d Steve says, slipping into officious mode, his tone even and halfway to hollow. \u201cWhat we didn\u2019t have was the information about the informants. How recent is your information on them?\u201d

\u201cMeeting with two of them tomorrow night,\u201d Danny says. \u201cSo, I was thinking, I was thinking that we could use some of Chin\u2019s tech and you and Kono could sit in the van and get some incriminating conversation on tape. It might not be enough seeing as the man\u2019s not an idiot, but it\u2019ll be a start. I figure if we look into the financials, we can pull an Al Capone on him on top of the case we\u2019re building,\u201d Danny adds, sipping at his coffee and letting out a low moan.

Steve shifts slightly, leaning the heel of his hand down against the seam of his cargo pants. Danny still has an effect on him.

Three years apart and Danny still haunts Steve\u2019s dreams often enough to keep him frustrated and panting for him in the morning. It\u2019s no surprise that one well-placed moan is enough to start building up a reserve of desire in Steve\u2019s body, like it\u2019s coming out of hibernation at the behest of the sounds Danny makes.

\u201cGood coffee?\u201d Steve says, settling for a teasing smirk.

\u201cThey always did it best, here.\u201d

\u201cKono can\u2019t do the stakeout,\u201d Steve finally says, digging out enough cash to pay for both their meals. \u201cShe did the last one and she has a date. She\u2019d never forgive me if I pulled her out of that for this. And Chin needs to be back at headquarters to compile the information.\u201d

\u201cWhich leaves you and me,\u201d Danny says, rolling his eyes and shaking his head in disbelief. \u201cUnbelievable\u2026\u201d

\u201cI didn\u2019t orchestrate this, Danny,\u201d Steve snaps back irritably. \u201cI didn\u2019t even know you wanted to do a stakeout until just now. I may miss you, I may still want you, but newsflash<\/i>, Danno, this isn\u2019t about you and me. This is about something greater and of all people, you should understand how important it is for me to bring Wo Fat to justice.\u201d

Danny doesn\u2019t seem to calm, but Steve\u2019s well-versed in reading Danny\u2019s minute tics. The crinkles around his mouth soften slightly and his posture slumps. It\u2019s not much, but it\u2019s enough to tell Steve that he\u2019s stepping back from the argument.

\u201cIt\u2019s just a night, Danny,\u201d Steve says quietly. \u201cI know you can\u2019t stand the sight of me, but it\u2019s just a night.\u201d

\u201cI guess I\u2019ll bring the food if you bring the coffee,\u201d Danny says reluctantly, watching their waitress take Steve\u2019s money away. \u201cSteve, I don\u2019t\u2026\u201d he trails off and Steve desperately wants to know what\u2019s coming next.

\u201cYeah, Danno?\u201d

\u201cI don\u2019t hate the sight of, you know, you,\u201d Danny mutters, gesturing idly in Steve\u2019s direction. His gaze is fixated down on the table. \u201cYou know, not anymore. There was a time when I couldn\u2019t look at you without seeing their faces, but it\u2019s been three years. We all make our mistakes.\u201d

So why won\u2019t you forgive me?<\/i> is on the tip of Steve\u2019s tongue, but he doesn\u2019t ask. He stares at Danny balefully, wishing he was better with words and that he could figure out how to ask (beg, plead, anything) Danny to give him a shot.

Steve has said it himself, though: there are more important things at stake than one personal relationship.

\u201cTomorrow night?\u201d Steve confirms.

\u201cI\u2019ll pick you up in the Camaro.\u201d Danny slides out from the booth, shrugging his shoulders back as he puts the suit jacket on. \u201cAnd no, Steve,\u201d he goes on, when Steve is just barely opening his mouth to speak, \u201cYou can\u2019t drive.\u201d

*

Steve\u2019s done his fair share of stakeouts since he started with Five-O and they all follow the same pattern. They get a van from HPD with an overly-cutesy cartoon on the side and then Five-O has to upgrade the tech to boost the signal. Despite department changes and new personnel, stakeouts always tend to go the same, case after case.

Danny had picked Steve up at Five-O headquarters and they\u2019d driven in silence to Wo Fat\u2019s current residence and place of business on the island. He climbs into the back, sliding on a pair of headphones around his neck as he flips on the switches of all the equipment.

\u201cYou got rid of the suit,\u201d Steve says idly, the lion\u2019s share of his attention fixated on adjusting the listening frequencies.

\u201cI like to look professional, but when I have only you in this van to impress, jeans are all you get,\u201d Danny says, settling down in one of the chairs as he lifts up the headphones to check. \u201cWe\u2019re still a little fuzzy. Try and focus the signal.\u201d

Steve fiddles with the knobs, glancing over his shoulder to try and take in whatever glances he can sneak of Danny\u2019s body. He\u2019s sure he\u2019s been caught once or twice, but it\u2019s no secret that he wants Danny. It\u2019s never been a secret. That\u2019s been as plain as day for Steve with consistency and constancy.

Steve adjusts the frequency and leans back when Danny eases forward, both his hands on Steve\u2019s shoulders to look past him and to the monitor.

They can\u2019t get too close to the house or they\u2019ll risk the entire operation being compromised. The feed lacks clarity, but it will get them surveillance and start the building blocks of a case against Wo Fat.

Steve keeps repeating that to himself, over and over, when Danny has yet to move his hands. It\u2019s just enough of a distraction that Steve is starting to forget the point of this. His thumbs brush up against the bare skin of Steve\u2019s neck and send a shiver through Steve\u2019s system.

Steve\u2019s always known that Danny was too hands-on for his own-good. Normally, Steve wouldn\u2019t give a damn, but considering Danny\u2019s the one who\u2019s trying to keep an ocean of distance between them, he\u2019s going to have to start calling foul on this kind of behavior.

\u201cBetter?\u201d Steve asks, voice rough.

\u201cYeah, I got a better read on things,\u201d Danny says, pushing himself off of Steve\u2019s shoulders and sliding around his side, hips cocked out before he grabs the back of a rolling chair and sinks down into it, pulling himself as close to the console as he can get. Steve furrows his brow as he wonders if there\u2019s supposed to be deeper meaning in Danny\u2019s words, but Danny\u2019s attention is on other things, so he puts it aside.

Steve flips the switch to start recording as fuzzy sound filters through the headphones and they start their night\u2019s work.

Danny and Steve are both consummate professionals, and for three hours straight they listen in while HPD\u2019s informant gets them what they can use, things that are inconsequential. Then, when the sun starts to dip into the horizon, they start getting into the real meat of things.

\u201cHey,\u201d Danny says, rolling over to grab hold of Steve\u2019s forearm and drag him over. \u201cListen to what the south-microphone\u2019s picking up.\u201d He shoves one side of the headphones closer to Steve, letting them share as Wo Fat begins to talk about shipping guns onto the island to bolster their existing forces.

It trails off and there\u2019s a pause that makes Steve\u2019s heart beat quicken.

Every paranoid thought that\u2019s ever existed in Steve\u2019s brain flickers through his mind in a dangerous second and Steve is ready to call the operation off. The pause goes on so long that he can feel the blood rushing to his ears. \u201cDanny,\u201d he says, starting to panic. \u201cDanny, there\u2019s one of our people in there, there\u2019s someone who could get hurt, we gotta pull them out, we gotta\u2026\u201d

\u201cSteve,\u201d Danny hisses and gestures to the headphones.

The conversation has resumed. It seems that tea service has begun and the pause was to give a modicum of respect to the woman who had just entered the room. Steve\u2019s gaze flickers over the heat signals another three times before he\u2019s adequately calmed and turns his attention back to Danny.

Danny is looking at him with a strangled and strange expression on his face.

\u201cWhat?\u201d Steve demands sharply.

Danny shakes his head, but that expression doesn\u2019t fade away. \u201cNothing, I didn\u2019t\u2026\u201d He trails off, clearing his throat. \u201cWe still recording?\u201d he asks, when the conversation turns back to who they can run guns through on the island now that Doran is out of the picture.

Steve nods, unable to pry his gaze from Danny. He\u2019s missing something, he knows that. He\u2019s been trained to read into the smallest of changes in his environment and something about Danny has changed, but hell if he knows what it was.

What are you thinking, Williams?<\/i> Steve wonders, a critical look on his face.

Danny\u2019s profile is in full view and Steve is only in Danny\u2019s peripheral vision, but it still shouldn\u2019t surprise him when Danny murmurs a lazy, \u201cI see that face,\u201d at him. \u201cStop making faces, Steve. Especially that one. I\u2019m not a puzzle.\u201d

\u201cIt\u2019s been three years,\u201d Steve says, trying not to sulk too defensively. \u201cI have new faces, you know.\u201d

Danny goes silent, which usually only happens when there\u2019s something incriminating he\u2019s trying to hide. In this case, Steve has to wonder why Danny isn\u2019t arguing back. He has to wonder why he\u2019s not protesting that he knows exactly what every face of Steve\u2019s means, new or old, unless\u2026

\u201c\u2026your surveillance on Wo Fat, you had someone on me, too,\u201d Steve says when the epiphany strikes him like a lightning bolt. \u201cYou\u2019ve been watching me since the start of this investigation with the HPD.\u201d

\u201cIt was a fair assumption,\u201d Danny says, his tone mild, \u201cthat at some point, Wo Fat was going to cross paths with you again. I had two surveillance teams on you for a couple of months until it seemed like he\u2019d moved on to bigger fish.\u201d

\u201cSo, you\u2019ve been seeing my looks and seeing me and watching over me in hospital beds, but I can\u2019t even have your cell phone number,\u201d Steve says, finding that he\u2019s become very angry, very quickly about the inequity of it all. \u201cDanny, how is that even fucking fair, considering you\u2019re the one who walked out on me<\/i>?\u201d

\u201cYou listen, you thickheaded idiot,\u201d Danny growls, sliding forward in his chair until he\u2019s got two fingers pressed firmly up against Steve\u2019s chest. \u201cI am a detective. I am a good<\/i> detective. When they gave me this case, I turned it down because it was too close to you, but no one else would take it and I\u2019m here to make the islands safer for Gracie, so I took it and you, you are a person of interest. You being my ex-husband is nothing more than coincidental. So I put aside any feelings I still had and I put aside the love I felt and the relationship we had because you were being monitored in case there was movement and there wasn\u2019t. This isn\u2019t a game or some immature way to get close to you. If I wanted to watch you for personal reasons, if I wanted that, I would\u2019ve called you, but I\u2019m still trying to process whether or not you\u2019re the same guy that made a really stupid decision.\u201d

\u201cDanny,\u201d Steve says. \u201cI\u2019m not.\u201d

Danny glares at him, his fingers falling lower on Steve\u2019s chest, resting above his heart.

\u201cI\u2019m not,\u201d Steve tries again, trying to get his point across. He grabs at Danny\u2019s wrist and holds it where his thumb brushes against the radial pulse.

\u201cI\u2019m still debating that,\u201d Danny replies evenly, pulling his hand away and returning back to the small television screens in the van. \u201cHow are Chin and Kono coming with the finances? They find anything?\u201d

Steve sighs heavily as he digs out his cell phone and sends a message to the other half of his team. The other two-thirds, now, he supposes. He\u2019s going to have to find yet another partner since they keep quitting on him. If he\u2019s honest, he keeps driving them out the door in the hopes that one day, the Governor will force Danny to come back because he\u2019s the only one who can keep Steve in line.

It\u2019s either that or she\u2019s going to disband Five-O. Steve tries to keep his behavior restrained enough so that he doesn\u2019t lose Chin and Kono their jobs.

He gets a reply back from Chin within minutes. \u201cThey\u2019re following a lead through one of his shell corporations. They say there could be some dirty money being laundered through it. They\u2019re pretty hopeful,\u201d he says.

Danny makes a noncommittal noise and Steve doesn\u2019t have to ask. He knows they\u2019re on the same wavelength when it comes to this.

\u201cIt\u2019s not enough to keep him as long as we\u2019d want,\u201d Danny finally says. \u201cMoney laundering, an implication in gun running, it\u2019s all accessory to the fact. There\u2019s nothing here that\u2019s gonna send him away for good.\u201d

\u201cBut it\u2019ll put him away,\u201d Steve says, trying to convince himself that putting him away is good enough. If he can convince Danny, he can convince himself. \u201cThat\u2019s something, right, partner?\u201d

Danny doesn\u2019t answer.

Steve appreciates that at least one of them is being realistic about this situation, even if that honesty and realism isn\u2019t something he wants to think about. He\u2019d always thought that he could bring in Wo Fat on murder charges and put him away in his parents\u2019 name. It turns out that a few dodgy financials and ill-advised conversations will do it and not even permanently, at that.

Danny slides the headphones back on, covering one ear and leaving the one closest to Steve open. \u201cIt\u2019s something,\u201d he finally agrees. \u201cYou know you can\u2019t be anywhere near this if we get this collar. None of us can be.\u201d

\u201cDanny, this is the man that killed my parents,\u201d Steve says heatedly. \u201cI\u2019m not only going to be there, I\u2019m going to be the one with my hands on his person, my fists in his face. I\u2019m going to be the one proving that he can\u2019t get away with this.\u201d

\u201cAnd that\u2019s exactly why you can\u2019t be there, Steve,\u201d Danny says, leaning forward (and causing his shirt to tighten at his shoulders). Steve\u2019s attention falters momentarily, but he brings it back quickly enough. \u201cWe\u2019ve worked so hard<\/i> for this. I\u2019ve been pulling insane hours to triple-check paperwork just to make sure there won\u2019t be any technicalities. You hauling off on him to employ McGarrett-style justice?\u201d Danny scoffs. \u201cNo. No, that\u2019s not happening. You will be at your home and you\u2019ll get a phone call, Steve. You\u2019ll get a phone call saying that he\u2019s been put away and he\u2019s awaiting trial. That\u2019s how this has to go.\u201d

Not with a bang, but in a whisper.

\u201cDanny,\u201d Steve says, trying for one last act of desperation.

\u201cNo,\u201d Danny says, his attention fully on the monitors. \u201cThis one, you don\u2019t get to skirt around. Call the Governor and ask her, but her response will be the same. This, Steve, you don\u2019t get to manipulate. This one, you have to stay away from if you want it to stick. I\u2019ve been working on this for a year and a half, Steve. Eighteen months. You\u2019re only in on this because I decided it was time to pull the trigger and I wasn\u2019t going to finish it without you on board.\u201d

Steve wants to protest. He should be doing more for this case in direct proportion to how much Wo Fat has taken from him, but he\u2019s eighteen months late on the boat.

\u201cDanny,\u201d Steve says again, a helpless note sneaking its way into his tone.

\u201cSteve, I\u2019ve been working it for you, okay? For eighteen months, I\u2019ve been doing this for you. Trust me when I say I\u2019ve got it, but when it goes down, and it\u2019s gonna happen soon,\u201d Danny says in that way where it sounds like a guarantee, \u201cyou gotta be anywhere but there. Trust me, babe.\u201d

Danny says it like it\u2019s the final word on the matter. He ignores Steve as he throws himself back into the monotonous task of listening to conversations revolve around minutia and watching heat signals pace between rooms. Steve turns his attention to thinking about the case and whether or not he plans to indulge Danny in his plea to stay away.

Before he even realizes it, the longest portion of the night is over and their replacements will be along soon.

\u201cWant me to drop you off at your place?\u201d Danny asks, his voice lazy with exhaustion. His tells haven\u2019t changed in three years. He starts to drop consonants off the end of his words and brushes his fingers sleepily around his forehead. Steve\u2019s left wondering what else has stayed the same.

\u201cWhy, so I don\u2019t find out where you live?\u201d Steve replies, his voice heavy with disdain.

The angry pit in his stomach only deepens when Danny doesn\u2019t answer and the silence is all the confirmation that Steve needs.

\u201cI\u2019ll make do,\u201d Steve says as he starts to get his things together.

The mood in the van stays icy up until there\u2019s a knock at the door and Danny pokes his head out to find their replacements from HPD ready. They\u2019re parked a little down the way with an electrician van. They\u2019re both wearing plainclothes and look as well-rested as Steve feels exhausted.

\u201cYou guys are good to go,\u201d Officer Mahi\u2019ai says. \u201cWe\u2019ll take over. Detective Williams,\u201d he adds with a respectful nod in his direction. \u201cCaptain says good job on all this and at the rate we\u2019re going\u2026\u201d He trails off as he apprehensively turns a look to Steve.

\u201cWe\u2019ll talk later,\u201d Danny says, shifting into the front seat of the van. \u201cSteve, last chance. Either I drive you to your place or headquarters, but I\u2019m not leaving you within fifty yards of that man.\u201d

\u201cFine. Take me back to my place,\u201d Steve finally consents, because it\u2019s five in the morning and if he goes to the office now, there\u2019ll be no purpose for him. At least if he goes home, he can get a swim in and start looking through applications for his next partner.

The drive back is silent, not helped by Steve\u2019s stubborn refusal to sit up in the front with Danny. He doesn\u2019t need to be that close to him and see the shape of his shoulders in his too-tight t-shirt or the way his jeans sit just an inch too low, like they always have. He doesn\u2019t need to remember what he smells like after a night of hard work.

When they arrive at Steve\u2019s house, Steve lingers before grabbing his equipment. \u201cNext shift, it\u2019ll be Chin and Kono\u2019s turn, but I\u2019ll see what I can do about taking the shift after that with Chin.\u201d The implied \u2018so you don\u2019t have to do this again with me\u2019 lies beneath the words treacherously, like it\u2019s an accusation waiting to happen.

Danny grips the steering wheel harder, his knuckles turning a shade of white as he stares out the front window. \u201cI\u2019ll come by tomorrow with more of the files,\u201d he says. \u201cWe need something more. We can put him away now, but it\u2019s only on suspicions and it probably won\u2019t stick. We debated using the break-in with you to identify him\u2026\u201d

Steve knows that there are too many personal connections at risk there, especially with Danny as lead on the case.

\u201cCome by anytime. The locks never changed, so your key should still work,\u201d Steve says, leaning forward to reduce the distance between the both of them. Here, in this small van that\u2019s still stuffy and humid, he wants to do stupid things. He wants to touch his fingers to Danny\u2019s neck and lay kisses there. It\u2019s a combination of his exhaustion and the heat and the emotional duress of this case.

They all band together and place terribly wonderful ideas in his mind.

He still can\u2019t decipher the look that had been on Danny\u2019s face earlier and he barely understands the one there now. As near as he can guess, it looks like hope and regret mixed with a heavy measure of desperation.

\u201cGet some rest, McGarrett,\u201d Danny says hoarsely. \u201cWe\u2019ve still got a lot of work to do.\u201d

Steve drifts back from the thoughts clouding his better judgment and gets out of the van, paying close attention to the fact that Danny doesn\u2019t actually leave the driveway until long after Steve is inside the house. As far as desperate hopes go, it\u2019s farfetched, but it\u2019s still better than nothing.

cont'd<\/a>","comments":"https:\/\/andrealyn.livejournal.com\/1512285.html?view=comments#comments","category":["pairing: steve\/danny","fiction: hawaii 5-0"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/andrealyn.livejournal.com\/1512056.html","pubDate":"Sun, 10 Apr 2011 18:24:10 GMT","title":"Lend Me Your Heart 2\/2","author":"andrealyn","link":"https:\/\/andrealyn.livejournal.com\/1512056.html","description":"

*

For two weeks, Steve settles into mundane tasks that are necessary to continue the investigation against Wo Fat.

Every few days, he sits in the van and helps compile incriminating evidence. When he\u2019s not doing that, he\u2019s going over old files, closed and potentially related cases, and calling up witnesses. He and Danny go out for dinner or grab a beer at Steve\u2019s place a few times during the two-week period. Steve uses those non-dates to recharge, get himself back into his determined mind frame in order to solve the case, but keep from slipping off the deep end like the last time.

At least Danny had stayed on the island after the divorce.

Steve doesn\u2019t even begin to doubt that if he screws up again, Danny will find good cause to talk to Stan and Rachel and discuss a departure from Hawaii.

He\u2019s getting ready for just another night in the same routine when the knock at his door comes. Steve checks his watch to make sure he\u2019s not late and abandons his packing to head downstairs, drawing it open to find Danny on his doorstep.

He looks, for lack of a better word, drained dry.

\u201cWhat is it? What happened?\u201d

\u201cAs of nine-thirty this morning, Wo Fat was arrested on the charges of gun running, money laundering, and,\u201d Danny trails off, a smirk on his lips, \u201creckless driving.\u201d It\u2019s not something Steve had ever considered as a way to get him in, but it seems to have done the trick. \u201cCameras caught him getting in an accident. He then left the scene, but a witness caught his plates.\u201d

\u201cHow long will he go away for on those charges?\u201d

\u201cWell, you know, the DA is pushing for as much time as possible, but even she agrees that we\u2019re not gonna get him there for life. Plus, his organization is still intact,\u201d Danny says apologetically.

\u201cWe can dismantle that piece by piece,\u201d Steve says, the determination burning furiously. \u201cHe\u2019s been arrested? He\u2019s in jail?\u201d

\u201cMaximum security, given his history and the allegations of murder,\u201d Danny agrees, something like a smile growing on his lips. \u201cSteve, it\u2019s over.\u201d He steps forward, brushing his fingers against Steve\u2019s shoulder and entering the house without asking (or needing) permission. \u201cYou okay?\u201d

Steve feels lost. He\u2019s stuck staring forward and trying to reconcile the feeling that he expected to feel on this day and the one he\u2019s experiencing at that very moment. Mostly, all he registers is a gaping void. There\u2019s numbness and not much else.

\u201cIt\u2019s not how I thought this would go,\u201d he admits, wondering if he should call Mary and tell her or whether he should wait until a conviction has been ruled on. \u201cAny of this,\u201d he says, staring at Danny and the way he looks awkward in a house that used to be half-his.

Danny leans forward, his fingers brushing against Steve\u2019s torso. For a moment, he just freezes up.

Seconds later, Steve realizes that Danny is going for his cell phone, digging it out of his front pocket \u2013 where he always keeps the phone \u2013 and drawing it into his palm. \u201cI\u2019m calling Chin and Kono. We just put away the jackass who hurt you. You\u2019re gonna celebrate, even if it\u2019s just a beer with your friends and me.\u201d

Danny doesn\u2019t even consider himself Steve\u2019s friend<\/i> anymore, and the idea is laughable and horrible all at once.

Steve reaches out to catch Danny\u2019s wrist, pulling him closer and forcibly into the house at the same time.

\u201cIt\u2019s not my friends and you, Danny, don\u2019t pretend,\u201d Steve says, his words sharp and cutting, like they always are when he\u2019s trying to make his point clear to Danny. \u201cIt\u2019s my best friend and the rest of my friends,\u201d he says. \u201cI didn\u2019t exactly get much of a say when I got served with divorce papers and I\u2019ll admit I felt betrayed, but that doesn\u2019t stop you from being the best friend I\u2019ve had in years.\u201d

The phone is halfway to Danny\u2019s ear as Steve speaks. He wets his lower lip as he watches Danny for a long moment, pulling away to get the beers from the kitchen. He hears Danny\u2019s voice distantly, telling Chin and Kono that the drinks are on McGarrett and to bring company if they want. The next call goes to HPD before Steve can stop him and just like that, Steve\u2019s somehow offered to become host to a whole precinct.

Within an hour, there are people trickling into an open door, taking the beer Steve offers. Chin and Kono arrive with provisions and get the grill going, taking orders and making the lanai the central hub of the party.

Within two hours, Steve\u2019s house is overrun by people he either knows incredibly well or has never seen before in his life.

Danny seems to know each and every one of them. He smiles like every one of them is bringing the sun out from behind the clouds, offering hearty claps on the back and words of congratulations to everyone he sees. Danny\u2019s always been able to be someone\u2019s best friend if ever he put the time and effort into it.

Steve watches him from the kitchen, a bottle of beer in his hand and a fond smile on his lips.

Danny is still the man that he fell in love with, still the one he promised his life to when they eloped and signed their papers. He made a mistake, he knows that, but he\u2019s done his best to fix it since then. He doesn\u2019t know if he deserves a second chance, necessarily, but it\u2019s never stopped him wanting one.

Eventually, the sea of people Danny is working his way through parts and Danny joins Steve in the kitchen, digging out a fresh beer from the fridge.

\u201cTrust you to be avoidant at your own party,\u201d Danny says.

\u201cYou\u2019re the one who invited everyone. So, by that logic, you\u2019re the host,\u201d Steve reasons, tipping his bottle back and forth, gesturing with it when necessary. \u201cI\u2019m just enjoying the show in front of me.\u201d His whole body has relaxed, his muscles going lax as though the stress of the case had bled out the moment they caught Wo Fat.

He reaches over with his free hand and nudges his knuckle in against the silk fabric of Danny\u2019s tie. The knot is expertly tied, achieved from years of consistency, and so there\u2019s resistance as Steve works his finger in slowly, hooking the fingertip against the tie and using it to tug Danny closer while he simultaneously loosens it. Danny lowers his gaze, but doesn\u2019t pull away. It\u2019s tacit permission.

It\u2019s all Steve needs.

He tips his head to one side and stares at Danny\u2019s profile as he works through all the wicked thoughts of things he wants to do to the man before him. \u201cYou worked on this case for eighteen months,\u201d Steve murmurs, pulling the tie loose until there\u2019s no knot to speak of and the silk fabric brushes against Steve\u2019s palm teasingly.

He wraps it around and around, until he can use his palm and the tie to cup Danny\u2019s cheek and press closer to shorten the distance between them.

\u201cIt was important to you,\u201d Danny says. \u201cIt was so important that you put aside protocol and everything that I believed in. I didn\u2019t approve at fucking all, Steve, but I knew it meant something to you and you were important to me<\/i>.\u201d

\u201cWere,\u201d Steve picks out that word and gives it heavy inflection.

He\u2019s closer now than he was before, his other hand putting the beer bottle on the table so it can occupy the small of Danny\u2019s back.

\u201cAre,\u201d Danny says. He bites out the word like it\u2019s torture to surrender, but Steve\u2019s already decided that Danny wouldn\u2019t take over a case for eighteen months if the \u2018were\u2019 weren\u2019t an \u2018are\u2019 already.

He leans in the rest of the distance and pulls Danny in the remainder of the way, pressing his lips to Danny\u2019s slowly. He lets them rest there a split second as an invitation for Danny to pull away and when he doesn\u2019t move, Steve takes it as further permission to do what he\u2019s wanted to do for years and could only ever dream about.

He forcibly keeps the pace slow. It\u2019s torture and perfection at once to have the taste of Danny\u2019s lips on his again, this reminder of a time when things were right. His eyes fall shut and he forgets the party and the people, only thinks about the warmth of Danny\u2019s skin at his fingertips and the way his shirt is going to wrinkle because Steve\u2019s fingers contract and grasp at the shirt, wrinkling it as he bunches the fabric in his palm.

He\u2019s only focused on the way Danny lets loose a soft slip of a moan and when Steve parts his lips, it resonates within him. He\u2019s only paying attention to the way that Danny presses forward and locks their bodies together, flush from knees to shoulders, while Danny\u2019s hand twines in the hairs at the nape of Steve\u2019s neck and causes a full-body shiver to wrack through him.

\u201cDanny,\u201d Steve moans softly, a dim awareness of the people around them, but that small part of him is quickly and forcefully overruled by three years\u2019 worth of desperate desire.

Something breaks.

Something must happen because suddenly Danny pulls away, swiping at the corner of his lips with his thumb and the distance between them grows and grows until there\u2019s a practical ocean between them and Steve doesn\u2019t know what he\u2019s done.

\u201cDanny?\u201d he says again, so different from the last time.

\u201cI can\u2019t do this, Steve. Not right now,\u201d Danny admits hoarsely, bolting away and getting lost in a crowd of people in Steve\u2019s home.

Steve sags back against the doorframe, tipping his head to the ceiling as he processes the familiar sensation of hopelessness pushing through him. He\u2019s well-aware of it, but during a celebration of the one thing he\u2019s wanted ever since he discovered the truth, he didn\u2019t expect to be feeling this lost.

He grabs hold of his half-empty beer and finds his way to the lanai. \u201cClean up when you\u2019re done,\u201d he tells Chin and Kono. \u201cI\u2019m heading down to the beach.\u201d He waits a moment, then figures he ought to tell them why<\/i> before they start following him when all he wants is to be process his thoughts. \u201cDanny left.\u201d

They don\u2019t protest and they let him go.

It\u2019s the day he\u2019s been waiting for, the day they bring in Wo Fat to some kind of justice. The problem is that it\u2019s never going to be enough for what Steve thinks is owed.

There\u2019s nothing to make up for that fact and the one person that could have made things tolerable has just walked out the door.

*

It\u2019s like the past few weeks have been an anomaly.

Steve visits HPD, but Danny is never at his desk. None of the other detectives in the area around him can account for his presence and some suggest that he\u2019s back in New Jersey like they\u2019ve been coached to say so. Danny\u2019s suit jacket lingers on his desk chair and there are half-drank coffees on his desk whenever Steve drops by.

Grace won\u2019t answer when Steve asks if she\u2019s seen him. For a thirteen-year-old, she\u2019s alarmingly good at hiding the truth and Steve tries not to feel a bereft and furious sense of jealousy that he\u2019s not the one having late-night conversations with Danny about what that means and if they should be worried about it.

\u201cSomebody,\u201d he says, at his wit\u2019s end when he goes by the precinct for the fourth time in as many days and no one<\/i>, not a single soul, can tell him where Detective Danny Williams is. \u201cSomebody<\/i>,\u201d Steve repeats, his voice getting louder, \u201chas to know where Danny Williams is! Just tell me and I\u2019ll go away.\u201d

He receives the silence of solidarity and he\u2019s never hated it more.

\u201cFine. If anyone here happens to see Danny in their lifetime again,\u201d Steve says, the sarcasm practically bleeding through every word, \u201ctell him Steve\u2019s looking for him.\u201d

He storms out of the precinct, slamming every successive door as if it\u2019ll give him some kind of catharsis, but it does little more than make him want to slam something harder. Maybe he\u2019ll go to the gun range and fire off a couple of rounds to get the aggression out of his system before he finally breaks and asks Chin to track Danny down.

Out of respect, he\u2019s kept that option off the table for years, but this is taking avoidance a step too far.

If Danny thinks they\u2019re just going to ignore the last few weeks, then he is sorely mistaken. He gets back to his place, ready to make the call to Chin, but is stopped by the presence of the Camaro in his driveway and his door open to the world.

He wanders inside warily and finds Grace sitting on one of the kitchen stools, long legs dangling over the side as she eats a slice of pizza. \u201cYou were using up all my minutes bothering me,\u201d she explains with a roll of her eyes, pointing to the beach. \u201cDanno\u2019s waiting for you out there and he said you should have some pizza because you\u2019re wasting away.\u201d

\u201cHe didn\u2019t say that,\u201d Steve says in disbelief.

\u201cOkay, he said a lot more and he used his hands, and then he called you a schmuck,\u201d Grace agrees, bugging out her eyes to emphasize the inanity of it. \u201cBut it pretty much boiled down to you not taking care of yourself ever since he left.\u201d She gestures out to the beach, cheese dripping off her lower lip before she sucks it back in. Her hair\u2019s blonder than the last time Steve saw her and he\u2019s not sure if that\u2019s because of the sun or whether she\u2019s started to dye it so that she and Danny share more than their facial expressions.

He sets the thought aside and opens the back door to take long strides across the sand until he gets to where Danny is standing, ankle-deep in the sand. He\u2019s not wearing his suit. He\u2019s got on an old Rolling Stones t-shirt and a pair of jeans, and his shoes are sitting atop one of the Adirondack chairs.

\u201cDay off?\u201d

\u201cYou catch a notorious criminal and they\u2019re willing to give you a week or two. Who knew?\u201d Danny says with a smirk. \u201cDoesn\u2019t mean I\u2019m not going in to tie up loose ends, but it does mean I get forcibly pushed out of the office around noon. Just in time to get home and have my kid tell me I am \u2018neglecting my duties as an ex-husband\u2019. I\u2019m pretty sure Rachel taught her that one.\u201d

\u201cYou\u2019re here because Grace made you come?\u201d Steve asks, sure that the disbelief is showing on his face in spades and then some. If that\u2019s the only reason Danny has come, then Steve\u2019s not sure they\u2019re even ready to talk.

Danny presses his lips together and rubs his hand over the back of his head. \u201cThat first stakeout,\u201d he says, chin tucked to his chest, his gaze on the waves creeping onto the shore, \u201cYou did something. You did this thing<\/i>, Steve, and it made me stop. It was just this little thing and you didn\u2019t even realize you were doing it and that\u2019s what makes it so huge<\/i>, do you get me?\u201d

\u201cNo,\u201d Steve says. \u201cNo, Danny, I don\u2019t. Actually, you\u2019re confusing me.\u201d

\u201cI\u2019m saying, I\u2019m saying that you did something that was so you<\/i> that you didn\u2019t even think about it. It\u2019s just part of your core Steveness.\u201d

\u201cOkay,\u201d Steve says, drawing out that word. None of this is making any sense, but he\u2019s willing to follow Danny along the yellow brick road until they come to some kind of meaning that will suddenly shed some light. Conversations with Danny tend to happen like that. You just have to wait them out and hope that they\u2019ll reach a point, eventually.

Danny takes a deep breath and gestures with both hands. They\u2019re tense and he looks like he\u2019d rather have them wrapped around something to choke the life out of it.

\u201cI feel,\u201d Danny spits out the words like they\u2019re an attack instead of one of those ridiculous \u2018I statements\u2019 that a number of therapists have tried to get Steve to use. \u201cI feel like I maybe haven\u2019t given you the fairness of acknowledging that what you did all those years ago is not the person you are today.\u201d

There it is.

Steve feels like his world has narrowed to this moment. The waves are crashing against the breakers and it\u2019s all he can hear before the blood rushes to his head and then, nothing<\/i>. There\u2019s nothing but the sound of his heart beating fast.

The only reason they had split to begin with had been Steve\u2019s fuck-up. Here Danny stands, admitting that Steve isn\u2019t the same guy that made that choice.

\u201cIn that van, when you thought the job was compromised, your first instinct was getting our people out. The Steve that I used to know, the one obsessed with bringing Wo Fat down, screw the consequences, he wouldn\u2019t have done that,\u201d Danny says, something like a hopeful smile burgeoning on his lips. \u201cAnd fuck, Steve, but that just gives me a lot of hope that even though your rep as an insane idiot has only been growing, that there\u2019s something in you that\u2019s keeping you grounded, even if I haven\u2019t been there to do it.\u201d

Steve is starting to get it. He\u2019s starting to understand what that look on Danny\u2019s face was that night in the van and he\u2019s starting to understand the point.

\u201cYou ran pretty fast when I kissed you,\u201d Steve says when he can\u2019t just let that go.

Danny rolls his eyes, his brows knitted together. \u201cWhat the hell is wrong with you? We\u2019ve been divorced for three years and I was coming around to the fact that the reason I walked away from you doesn\u2019t actually exist<\/i> anymore. Suddenly you\u2019re kissing me and you think it all just gets fixed because you slapped a bandage over it and kissed it better? No, Steven, no, it does not. What I am saying today, what I am telling you now, it is all contingent on a fresh start, true,\u201d Danny says, finger pointed in the direction of Steve\u2019s chest, \u201cbut it is not an invitation to jump right back to where we were. I still see those faces when I close my eyes and I still blame you a little bit, deep down in my heart, but I know you feel the regret of your actions every day and that\u2019s enough burden weighing on your shoulders, Atlas.\u201d

Steve inches closer until he can let his hand reach out to grasp at Danny\u2019s left hand, bringing it up to his lips. He presses slow kisses to the knuckle, pausing when he gets to the ring finger.

There is, faintly, the hint of a pale line \u2013 like his ring has been there until very recently.

Steve\u2019s attention is caught there long enough that Danny notices. He pulls his hand away and clears his throat awkwardly. \u201cIt was easier to turn away anyone with any kind of interest when I wore it,\u201d Danny mutters. \u201cI couldn\u2019t have you reading into it, so I took it off when I took on the liaison position. I wasn\u2019t ready for anything else.\u201d

Steve has been told that he needs to be respectful of other peoples\u2019 boundaries. Danny had always been clear about that and Steve knows he needs to be careful here in order not to drive him away again.

\u201cSo, does that stand? You\u2019re still not ready for anything else?\u201d

Danny pulls a face that just about undoes Steve. It\u2019s the mixture of uncertainty and apprehension on a man who is so set in his ways that he knows exactly what he wants and how he wants to get it. Now, though, he just looks wary.

\u201cI\u2019m twice divorced and not exactly over either of you,\u201d he admits, sounding raw. \u201cRachel, she didn\u2019t like me being a cop. That didn\u2019t go away. She met Stan, she moved on. You, though,\u201d he continues, casting his gaze to the side as he clears his throat, \u201cYou made a mistake that was too big and you did it against my known protests. Except that you\u2019ve grown enough to not do it again, even under similar circumstances. I don\u2019t know, Steve, I really don\u2019t,\u201d Danny admits, pained.

Steve isn\u2019t sure where that leaves, them, either.

He does know what he wants. \u201cCome back to Five-O,\u201d he says, suddenly. He\u2019d meant to start smaller than that in offering Danny a position as permanent liaison between HPD and Five-O, but now that he\u2019s started to think about it, all he wants is for Danny to come back. \u201cI need a new partner anyway.\u201d

\u201cYeah,\u201d Danny says with a smirk, \u201cI heard you burned through seven partners in three years.\u201d

\u201cNone of them were you. They were good, some of them were even great, but they didn\u2019t know when to push me and they didn\u2019t know when to stay silent,\u201d Steve says, which is true of every partner who had tried to fill Danny\u2019s shoes. They\u2019d been technically capable, but lacked the connection with Steve that it really took to make a partnership shine. \u201cDanny, you don\u2019t have to be anything to me except for my partner at work until you\u2019re ready. And I\u2019ll respect that.\u201d

\u201cLike you respected it to begin with?\u201d Danny asks warily. \u201cWhat with the staring and the baiting and the nickname?\u201d

\u201cWe weren\u2019t divorced, then,\u201d Steve reminds him. The tide is coming in and brushing against Danny\u2019s feet, making him creep up the sand and close the distance between them. In the house, Steve can see Grace peering out through the blinds and intruding on the privacy of their moment. \u201cLook, Danny, I need a partner who\u2019ll stick with me. If I can\u2019t find one, there\u2019s a risk of Five-O being shut down. So all I\u2019m asking, all that I feel that I deserve right now, is for you to come back to work.\u201d

There\u2019s a long silence that bodes poorly when it comes to Steve\u2019s request.

Finally, though, Danny seems to turn his attention away from the ocean. He sighs heavily and gives Steve a tired smile. \u201cI\u2019ll think about it, okay? I\u2019ll really give it some good thought.\u201d

\u201cDo you wanna stay? You brought pizza and even though I\u2019m pretty sure Grace is doing her best to eat it all, I heard a rumor that you think I\u2019m too thin,\u201d Steve says, feeling a rush of fondness overtake him as he looks at Danny, knowing that he\u2019s going to think about coming back.

He\u2019s going to consider coming home.

\u201cSkin and bones and horrifying amounts of muscle,\u201d Danny agrees flippantly, rolling his eyes. \u201cHonestly, what have they been doing with you since I\u2019ve been gone?\u201d

\u201cNobody could replace you, Williams. I thought you\u2019d be happy about that.\u201d

\u201cYeah, well,\u201d Danny starts, but trails off as though Steve has rendered him somehow speechless. Danny cuffs him by the bicep and tugs him along. \u201cCome on, I even got half the pizza with pineapple on it so you would have something to enjoy. Something to make you smile. Let\u2019s go eat and I\u2019ll think a little more about your offer.\u201d

Steve trails behind Danny and takes the ample opportunity to stare at his ass \u2013 which hasn\u2019t grown any less impressive in their time apart. If he\u2019s honest, Steve might even say that it\u2019s improved with age.

\u201cFinally,\u201d Grace says when they get back inside. \u201cPizza\u2019s cold by now.\u201d

\u201cWe\u2019ll make do, Monkey. Go get us some plates, let\u2019s really get this pizza party going.\u201d

Steve catches Danny looking at him in his peripheral view and even if they\u2019re just taking this slow, it\u2019s enough hope that it\u2019s got Steve grinning like he hasn\u2019t in years.

*

SIX MONTHS LATER<\/i>

\u201cOh, Jesus,\u201d Danny yells loudly, gripping at the car\u2019s handle, eyes squeezed as tightly closed as possible. \u201cYou\u2019re gonna kill me, you\u2019re gonna kill me and then I\u2019m gonna come back from the beyond to end<\/i> you, my car should not be going this speed<\/i>, Steven, what the hell are you doing?\u201d

\u201cI\u2019m driving after a perp, Danny!\u201d Steve shouts at him, patience at its wits\u2019 end. \u201cAnd we\u2019re only going ninety. You\u2019ve done worse than this.\u201d

\u201cI was at a racetrack! This is a highway!\u201d

\u201cDanny, just hold on, I know what I\u2019m doing,\u201d Steve promises, flashing him an excited grin as he guns it and the car goes skidding around a corner as they chase down their number one suspect in a robbery-homicide case that happened to hit the Governor\u2019s office just the other week.

In the end, they do get their guy. It\u2019s good news, because Steve\u2019s not sure how long Governor Jameson would\u2019ve let him keep up the task force if he couldn\u2019t even retrieve her work-files after a smash-and-grab. Danny\u2019s got the robber on the ground, face-down, and Steve\u2019s feeling pretty damn good after coming off a phone call to the Governor, promising her that everything\u2019s been solved.

\u201cBook \u2018em, Danno,\u201d Steve says.

Danny tries to hide it, but he\u2019s smiling. He\u2019s pressing his lips tightly together, but the amusement is still plain as day. \u201cStill an endearment?\u201d Danny too-casually asks. Danny\u2019s got his fair share of tells and the way his lips quirk downwards momentarily in a flash of a frown is as clear an indicator as any that he actually, genuinely wants to know.

\u201cAlways,\u201d Steve promises and beams away as Danny hauls the perp to his feet to begin reading him his Miranda rights.

THE END","comments":"https:\/\/andrealyn.livejournal.com\/1512056.html?view=comments#comments","category":["pairing: steve\/danny","fiction: hawaii 5-0"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/andrealyn.livejournal.com\/1503390.html","pubDate":"Sun, 13 Mar 2011 12:07:36 GMT","title":"Title: Shot Through The Eye By Cupid's Arrow","author":"andrealyn","link":"https:\/\/andrealyn.livejournal.com\/1503390.html","description":"Title: Shot Through The Eye By Cupid's Arrow<\/b>
Pairing:<\/b> Steve\/Danny, implied Chin\/Kono
Rating:<\/b> PG-13
Disclaimer<\/b>: These characters don't belong to any part of me.
Word Count<\/b>: 7315
Summary<\/b>: \u201cDanny, I don\u2019t know that I can, with prior knowledge, marry you knowing you have a sickness that makes you prefer New Jersey.\u201d<\/i> In order to bring in a murderer, the Governor politely informs Five-O that their services are needed. Danny ends up married for the second time as a result.
Notes<\/b>: <\/a>gyzym<\/b><\/a><\/span> is a dream who betas like a machine. The title is from the Sam Roberts' Band song 'I Feel You'.



Danny needs a raise.

There are so many reasons for that necessity, but chief among them is happening at this exact moment. He\u2019s been summoned to Five-O headquarters at six AM, which is so far outside of his job description that it definitely merits a raise or at least a handshake and maybe a day off.

He manages to get a shirt on and buttoned, but it stays untucked. He\u2019s also pretty sure his shoes don\u2019t match. It\u2019s six<\/i> in the morning, he is allowed to make a couple of sartorial mistakes at this hour.

What he sees when he gets to headquarters is something that makes him think that this is all part of a really strange and really weird dream.

Steve and Governor Jameson are standing behind Chin\u2019s table, gesturing to an array of photographs spread out atop the desk and in the midst of a serious-seeming conversation. Splayed carelessly on top of all those pictures are two plain gold wedding bands.

\u201c\u2026I\u2019m dreaming,\u201d Danny says uncomfortably. \u201cI\u2019m dreaming and of all the possible nice things that could be featured, the lottery or beautiful people or New Jersey, instead, I got dreams about you two getting hitched? What did I eat last night?\u201d

The Governor looks less impressed with Danny\u2019s antics than Steve, which is saying something, considering Steve looks like he\u2019s ready to decapitate some bad guys \u2013 or whatever it is he does on his days off. Danny thinks he ought to be excused considering he\u2019s forgotten to put on socks and is currently flexing his toes against his definitely<\/i> mismatched shoes.

He scrubs at his face with a hand, feeling a little weary and not sure why he\u2019s here.

\u201cOkay, seriously,\u201d Danny says tiredly, peering at the table and realizing what all the photographs are of.

It\u2019s a scary day when Danny has absolutely no idea how he got himself into this mess, but the fact is that he\u2019s staring at about three dozen pictures of him, Steve, and the story those pictures are painting is one that Danny is one-hundred percent absolutely sure he\u2019s not living. He skims his fingers atop the photos, brushing from one of Steve clasping his arm to one of Danny leaning in to brush away tomato sauce from Steve\u2019s lips with his thumb.

\u201cOkay, stalkerazzi,\u201d Danny scowls. \u201cWhat the hell?\u201d

\u201cThese were intercepted on an open wireless connection in the course of our observation on Nate Adams,\u201d the Governor explains. \u201cWe\u2019ve had a team on him for a little while and it seems he\u2019s been spying on Lieutenant Commander McGarrett. At this point, we do not believe that he\u2019s aware that he\u2019s being watched, but it\u2019s only going to take time for him to realize otherwise.\u201d

Danny squints at her and shakes his head. \u201c\u2026still not making sense as to where I come in,\u201d he says.

\u201cNate Adams,\u201d the Governor continues, \u201cbelieves that the two to you are together. I\u2019m officially bringing Five-O on the case and tasking you with surveillance and making the arrest. This is a suspected murderer and we think he\u2019s renting this house while he prepares himself for his next kill. We don\u2019t want to arouse his suspicion and so if he believes you two have some kind of thing, we are going to encourage<\/i> this bastard.\u201d

Oh, shit<\/i>. Danny\u2019s starting to wake up and is getting a pretty clear idea about what\u2019s happening here.

He sees the rings in a whole new light and then he understands the look on Steve\u2019s face. The minute he locks eyes with Steve, a whole conversation passes in the blink of an eye. Without even having to say a word aloud, Danny knows that Steve understands the magnitude of his issue with the plan and Danny is well-aware of Steve\u2019s counter-argument.

\u201cDanny,\u201d Steve pleads, skipping the minutia.

\u201cI would like,\u201d Danny says very calmly, \u201cI would like everyone in this room to take a minute and to think about what is being asked. For one minute, can we all do that? I am begging us to do that,\u201d he says, clasping his hands together in prayer. \u201cYou think, you think that slapping a ring on me and making me live in Casa McGarrett is gonna placate a serial killer? Is that really where we are on this investigation?\u201d

\u201cIf he runs and we can\u2019t put together a case, I will never<\/i> forgive myself,\u201d Governor Jameson says, with the kind of passion and determination that says she\u2019s ready and willing to go to any lengths for this. \u201cCould you live with yourself, Detective Williams?\u201d

Danny sighs and rubs his hand over his face one more time. \u201cSix in the goddamn morning,\u201d is all he says again as he steps forward to the table and stares blearily at the pictures. \u201cChin and Kono, what are their roles in this?\u201d

\u201cMostly, they\u2019ll stick to the van,\u201d Steve says, crossing his arms over his torso and sliding into tactician mode. \u201cIf necessary, there\u2019s an empty house down the lane that they\u2019ll occupy to help us out with surveillance. They\u2019ll pose as a newlywed couple. Chin\u2019s building a background as we speak.\u201d

In other words, Danny is at least allowed back-up this time around.

He exhales deeply, puffing his lips out and debating whether he\u2019s even allowed to say no to the woman who signs his checks and leans on Rachel\u2019s lawyers to ease up custody. He\u2019s not even sure he could begin<\/i> to get away with that.

\u201cOkay,\u201d Danny agrees, flashing Steve a weary smile. \u201cYou promise to take me in sickness and health?\u201d

\u201cDanny, I don\u2019t know that I can, with prior knowledge, marry you knowing you have a sickness that makes you prefer New Jersey,\u201d Steve deadpans, a glimmer of amusement in his eye, \u201cbut the Governor insists.\u201d He takes a moment and looks to the Governor before giving her a nod. \u201cI\u2019m in, too.\u201d

\u201cThen, by the power vested in me,\u201d Governor Jameson says with a wryly bemused tone, sliding one ring on Danny\u2019s finger and the next on Steve\u2019s. It fits, how does it fit, why does it even fit, what is going on in Danny\u2019s life that the Governor knows his ring size? \u201cI now pronounce you husband and husband. Now go catch me a killer.\u201d

For a solid hour, Danny remains in a state of shock. He lets Steve drag him to the store to buy groceries and Danny\u2019s pretty sure he gives his opinion about types of milk and steak, but that all eludes his short-term memory for a while as he processes what\u2019s just happened.

It all sinks in when they get back to Steve\u2019s place.

Danny crosses the threshold of a house he\u2019s been in numerous times and this time<\/i>, this time he freezes the minute his feet get into the foyer. It\u2019s like the ring on his finger has been built in with electroshock and distinctive boundaries and holy shit, it scares Danny to think that a piece of jewelry can incapacitate him like this.

Steve practically shoves him inside with a bump to the hip. \u201cDanny,\u201d he says, shifting the grocery bags. \u201cJust act like you normally do. That\u2019s what got us into\u2026\u201d

\u201c\u2026this mess?\u201d Danny interrupts, licking his upper lip as he hauls one of the bags from out of Steve\u2019s grip and storms to the kitchen. He knows where everything goes. He knows which cupboard to put every item in and for some reason, right now, that\u2019s making him so furiously angry that he doesn\u2019t even know what to do with it. \u201cI can\u2019t even wrap my head around this, Steve, how are you so calm?\u201d Danny asks as he shoves a bag of pasta into the cupboard.

\u201cThe Governor is asking us to keep up our normal lives to bring in a killer,\u201d Steve says.

Danny shoves his hand up \u2013 right into the dawn light \u2013 and wiggles it back and forth so the whole world can see the ring. Steve and the neighbors and the seagulls and the goddamn murder suspect down the street. They can all see it. \u201cThis? This to me is not normal, Steve. Coming into your house is one thing, but pretending as if I belong here is something else entirely. And now I\u2019m gonna, I\u2019m gonna eat your food and share your bathroom and your bed and that\u2019s normal? How is that normal?\u201d

\u201cOkay,\u201d Steve admits after a hesitation. \u201cMaybe it\u2019s not normal, but you\u2019re wrong about one thing.\u201d

\u201cOh, and what\u2019s that?\u201d Danny says tiredly. \u201cPlease enlighten me as to what I\u2019m wrong about, Steve. Please, I am begging you.\u201d

\u201cYou belong here. Maybe you won\u2019t agree that you have a place on this island or in this house, but guess what,\u201d Steve says sharply, like he\u2019s gearing up to be really irritated with Danny at any minute. \u201cI think you belong. I think you belong here and I think you belong with me.\u201d

It\u2019s still early and asking for a coherent reaction is already asking for the world, but Danny\u2019s stunned beyond what he thought possible by Steve\u2019s little speech.

Danny\u2019s really glad his hands aren\u2019t busy putting anything away when Steve steps forward and slides one of his big hands around Danny\u2019s neck. He just tips his head to the side and then leans down, sliding his lips to the corner of Danny\u2019s. Danny\u2019s pretty sure that anything in his hands would\u2019ve been smithereens at this point.

They stand there snugly, like Steve thinks doing something like this is just something else that belongs. Danny doesn\u2019t even breathe for fear of sliding their lips closer together, but inevitably he needs oxygen to live<\/i>. He manages a shaky inhale, but not much more than that.

\u201cHey,\u201d Danny breathes the word out. \u201cC\u2019mon, Steve. Is this about you thinking if I don\u2019t feel like I belong here, I\u2019m gonna leave?\u201d Every word he speaks brushes his lips just slightly against Steve\u2019s, like the promise of a kiss to come.

It never does.

Steve\u2019s silence betrays him and Danny eases away with a fond look. He ruffles Steve\u2019s hair until it\u2019s a god-awful mess and lets out a sound that tells Steve just how pitiful he\u2019s being. \u201cSteve. I get it. Okay? I get it. I just didn\u2019t expect to have the governor fake-marry us this mor\u2026\u201d

A terrifying thought crosses his mind.

\u201cSteve.\u201d Steve has moved on to fire up the oven and cook some breakfast. \u201cSteven!\u201d Danny snaps. \u201cThat was fake, right? She doesn\u2019t have the ability to\u2026that was fake<\/i>, I didn\u2019t just get married again, did I? Did I?\u201d

\u201cDanny,\u201d Steve says mildly. \u201cYou\u2019re making a fuss and the neighbors are going to hear you.\u201d

Danny laughs hysterically as he feels a lightheaded terror grip him and he thinks that he needs to go lie down or something before he passes out. He waves his hand around a good deal and tries to put his mind at ease, but every time he comes up with a sane and coherent argument against why it\u2019s not legit, his brain pipes back Steve McGarrett<\/i> and they\u2019re off again.

\u201cWe are not done with this conversation,\u201d Danny warns. \u201cYou hear me?\u201d

\u201cI hear you, darling,\u201d Steve says as he hums out the words, flashing a bright smile at Danny like their world hasn\u2019t just been upended on its side.

Danny goes upstairs to call Chin and Kono, check in, and warn them that if they receive a domestic abuse complaint from the house that they are not<\/i> to answer it and that Steve deserves every last bruise.

*

After three days of twelve-hour surveillance shifts, Danny\u2019s pushing exhaustion and admits that they need help. He tells Steve to make the call. Chin and Kono go from the van to the house and take on the mantle of a newlywed couple so very much in love.

Now that he\u2019s spending a little less time staring through a pair of binoculars, Danny feels a little bit of the pressure ease off. They still surveil, but they do it a lot less now that there are two units out there doing the same amount of work. Danny\u2019s the one on duty tonight. His foot is propped on the open windowsill and he\u2019s letting the sea breeze waft over his body.

It\u2019s one of those little reminders that whisper in his ear that Hawaii isn\u2019t so bad<\/i>. The breeze tonight is perfect against his cheek and it settles him into a state of calm in conjunction with the two beers he\u2019s already drank.

\u201cWhat do you think it\u2019s like?\u201d Danny ends up calling over his shoulder, his tone complacent to match his mood.

Steve is shuffling around the bedroom getting his surveillance equipment ready for the next shift, and looks caught off guard when Danny poses the question. A set of thick headphones to his ear, he pauses and stares at Danny blankly. \u201cWhat?\u201d

\u201cChin and Kono, their cover,\u201d Danny says with a gesture, turning his attention to the little house two down to see their two teammates in the dining room, dancing around as they cook dinner. It\u2019s a perfect little show of happy family for their murder suspect. Hell, it\u2019s a perfect show for Danny to the point that he\u2019s starting to wonder if he\u2019s been so busy detecting out in the world that he\u2019s missed something right under his nose. \u201cI mean, right now, for this particular moment, we\u2019re not discussing whether or not their cover is a flimsy version of the truth\u2026\u201d

Danny hasn\u2019t decided yet if Chin and Kono are using the cover to hide in plain sight. He\u2019ll have to get back to that when his fine detective mind isn\u2019t occupied wondering if the same is true about him and Steve.

\u201cI\u2019m talking about that whole falling in love part of the relationship, when everything\u2019s so damned perfect that you ignore all the flaws and the faults.\u201d

\u201cI think that\u2019s a myth,\u201d Steve says. \u201cDanny, I think that\u2019s total crap. I think that when you were in love with Rachel and just newly married, her bad habits still pissed you off.\u201d

\u201cYeah? You think that?\u201d Danny asks.

\u201cYeah, I do,\u201d Steve says, sounding convinced. \u201cI think when you\u2019re really in love with someone, both feet in, those flaws and faults just make you love them more for being real and human. I think that when someone is a hothead, you love them because it means they care so openly and passionately about the world that they can\u2019t hold it in. And when someone\u2019s kind of an asshole sometimes, you love them anyway, because they kind of make you laugh.\u201d

Danny\u2019s putting a lot of pressure on the foot pressed to the windowsill and he feels a sharp weight sitting against his chest. If he were older, he\u2019d worry about a heart attack. As it is, he\u2019s wondering if Steve is gearing up to give him a Steve-Stroke.

\u201cHey Steve?\u201d

\u201cYeah, Danny.\u201d

\u201cSounds to me like a pretty specific hypothetical,\u201d Danny says, his fingers gripping the binoculars so tightly he\u2019s afraid they might break. He dares to look behind him and finds that Steve has shifted his attention to more prep-work. This time it\u2019s not for the stakeout. This time, he\u2019s getting Danny\u2019s bedclothes ready and putting out something for tomorrow \u2013 shirt, tie, pants, and all.

Steve takes a step back from hanging the tie over the door and makes a thoughtful noise. \u201cIs it?\u201d

\u201cYeah,\u201d Danny agrees with a laugh of disbelief. \u201cYeah, it is. Hey,\u201d he says, turning his attention away from Adams \u2013 the man has been flossing and Danny really doubts that whether he brushes or not is going to be the reason he\u2019s brought in. \u201cNot that tie, I like wearing the red one with that shirt.\u201d

\u201cNo,\u201d Steve says with great confidence and wearing a smile that could charm the coldest of hearts, \u201cthe blue\u2019s really gonna bring out your eyes.\u201d

He disappears into the washroom and Danny takes the opportunity to finally breathe. He feels a little like that vice gripping his chest is making it impossible and is definitely named Steve. Danny presses his thumb to the cold band of the gold ring and closes his eyes as he tries to settle the situation in his mind.

It\u2019s just a cover<\/i>, he tells himself. \u201cSteve,\u201d he calls out, trying to assuage himself of that fact. \u201cHey, Steve, you didn\u2019t have a thing for me before this, did you?\u201d No answer. Danny rouses himself from his seat and wanders into the bathroom, but Steve can\u2019t hear him because he\u2019s in the shower with the water running loud.

Danny raps his knuckles just lightly against the glass door. It\u2019s frosted and Danny doesn\u2019t avert his eyes as he looks down, figuring they\u2019re all grown-ups here who have adult thoughts, mature fantasies, and run responsible hypothetical scenarios about what a man would do to his upstanding and fine partner if ever there were no consequences.

\u201cSteve?\u201d

\u201cDanny, I\u2019ll be out in just a few minutes. You can go to sleep.\u201d

Danny looks down, pressing his chin to his chest and thinking what he\u2019s going to say next. \u201cI don\u2019t disagree. With your theory on falling in love with a person.\u201d And here goes the jump off the cliff. \u201cChin and Kono, they look pretty good together, yeah,\u201d he says, rambling as his heart starts to beat way too fast. \u201cBut I dunno. I think there\u2019s something to be said about hating<\/i> the way he jumps from the roof just to save someone and still being able to be fond about what drove him to do a stupid thing like that in the first place. And, and,\u201d he says, watching Steve press a hand against the tiles of the shower wall before him. \u201cAnd the bad taste in music, I mean, come on,\u201d Danny whines. \u201cThat\u2019s gotta be a deal breaker, but not when it just makes you love that idiot even more.\u201d

Fuck, he feels like he can\u2019t breathe.

\u201cI\u2019m going to bed, Steve. You uh, you should think about your little love theory,\u201d Danny says. \u201cYou should think about it good and hard and make sure you don\u2019t have it wrong.\u201d Danny thinks he\u2019s made things pretty clear and he goes to bed that night with the assurance that he did not chicken out, he did not do that at all.

When he wakes up, there\u2019s a fresh mug of coffee waiting for him, and Steve is perched on the chair with his forearms on his thighs, and he\u2019s looking straight at Danny.

\u201cGood morning,\u201d Danny says, fumbling to rub the sleep out of his eyes.

The other half of the master bed is empty as it\u2019s always been. Steve and Danny have been effective about taking opposing shifts and so they haven\u2019t found themselves with a need to switch off. Not yet.

Danny pats down his hair, his face, and then his body when Steve won\u2019t stop staring at him with a crazy goofy look on his face. Honestly, it\u2019s making Danny wonder if he\u2019s actually woken up or if this is one of those recurring dreams and Grace is about to make her entrance riding a land-dolphin anytime soon.

\u201cWha\u2026? What is it? Did I get Hawaii on me?\u201d

\u201cNo, Danno, you\u2019re fine,\u201d Steve promises. \u201cYou just look a lot younger when you sleep, is all. Like you haven\u2019t lived through half the shit you have.\u201d

Danny sits up slowly and tries to make heads or tails on whether that\u2019s a compliment. He reaches a hand up to try and tame his hair while peering blearily at Steve. Ever since they started this charade, Danny\u2019s gotten used to smelling like him as if he\u2019s been soaking up the scent from his blankets and pillows. It\u2019s a comforting smell, one that keeps Danny from waking up in a panic at his strange surroundings.

The only thing ruining his safe zen is the reminder of a murderer down the block and a ring that doesn\u2019t belong on his finger. \u201cKono and Chin got us covered so we can go into the office?\u201d

\u201cYeah,\u201d Steve says, gesturing to Danny\u2019s outfit. \u201cGet changed and I\u2019ll warm up the car.\u201d

Sometime during the night, Steve\u2019s taken away the blue tie and replaced it with the red one, like he thinks that they need to compromise on these little things. Danny just stares at his clothes for a hot second, laughs, and then reaches into the closet for the blue tie.

Steve doesn\u2019t say anything about it when Danny joins him inside the Camaro.

It\u2019s not the comment that Danny\u2019s waiting for. It\u2019s the private and overjoyed smile on Steve\u2019s face that makes the switch entirely<\/i> worth it.

*

The idea to grill is Steve\u2019s (Danny\u2019s pretty sure that Steve would grill from here until the end of days if he got his way), but Danny\u2019s just glad to be outside for once. Kono\u2019s surveying Adams\u2019 house , giving Danny time to pace back and forth on his cell phone and bitch to his cable company about how they\u2019re thoroughly and relentlessly gouging<\/i> him. He\u2019s in the middle of a pointed threat about ripping someone\u2019s throat out when he feels the warmth of a palm pressed to his hips.

His body jumps before it goes shock-still<\/i>.

\u201cUh,\u201d he says, his whole brain going blank.

\u201cSir?\u201d the tinny voice on the phone prompts. \u201cI believe you were moving on to threatening violence against my children.\u201d

\u201cI\u2019m gonna have to call you back,\u201d Danny says, trying to register thoughts past the white-shock in his mind at that hand slipping under his shirt. Holy hell, what is going on<\/i>, he wonders, as he leans back slightly against the hand that has to be Steve\u2019s, has to be. He shoves his cell in his jeans pocket and looks back worriedly over his shoulder. \u201cI was on the phone!\u201d

\u201cDanno, you can threaten people later,\u201d Steve says, leaning in to press his lips to Danny\u2019s neck. \u201cI saw a glint of light from Adams\u2019 house. He\u2019s watching us,\u201d he warns. There\u2019s a calculating tone to his voice that directly opposes the soft and careful way that he\u2019s treating Danny with his hands and his mouth.

Danny wills his body to release its tension and slides back against Steve\u2019s frame. It\u2019s easy. It\u2019s too easy. He fits in all the spaces Steve leaves open for him, like slotting the puzzle pieces where they\u2019re meant to fit and he presses his palm over Steve\u2019s hand to guide it down just a little lower \u2013 slipping just past the waistband of his jeans.

He tilts his head back, breathes a hot and heavy exhalation against Steve\u2019s neck, his lips brushing against the beginnings of a five o\u2019clock shadow. \u201cHow long you think he\u2019s been watching?\u201d Danny asks, eyes flicking back to Adams\u2019 house momentarily. He\u2019s straddling a line in his careful attempt to convince Adams that what he thinks is true without going overboard.

He\u2019s pretty sure he\u2019s doing a damn good job because he can feel<\/i> the hitch in Steve\u2019s breath. Their bodies are so close together that Danny can feel everything, up to and including the bulge in Steve\u2019s cargo pants.

Danny closes his eyes and counts to ten.

He loses it when he hits eight and Steve thrusts forward just slightly.

\u201cSteve,\u201d Danny hisses out, trying to keep his body from undulating in a desperate rhythm and attempting to communicate to his knees that they\u2019re expected to remain on full duty and there will be no<\/i> giving out tonight. \u201cWhat the fuck? Answer the damn question.\u201d

\u201cI don\u2019t know, I can\u2019t tell.\u201d

There\u2019s another glint of light catching the window down the way, which means that Adams is still watching and Steve is probably going to do something else idiotic in his attempt to convince a murderer that they are truly, happily married. Apparently, Steve has never heard about how married couples inevitably come to loathe each other and the very air they breathe.

There is a distinct chance that Danny\u2019s marriage to Rachel fucked him up a lot more than he realizes.

Steve presses a palm flush against his hipbone and coaxes Danny into turning. Because his body is secretly a traitor in league with Steve, he does, hating that now he\u2019s no longer got eyes on the perp. He looks up the short distance between them and tries to ignore the fact that Steve is swaying them from side to side.

\u201cOkay, now what are we doing?\u201d Danny asks, faintly amused.

\u201cI\u2019m pretty sure they call it dancing. Did they change that during my last tour?\u201d Steve asks, feigning ignorance. Danny shouldn\u2019t even begin to find so stupidly appealing on Steve\u2019s face and yet here he is, grinning stupidly while little Hawaii butterflies take root in his stomach like a goddamn sickness. \u201cAdams has been scoping us out, but I don\u2019t think he suspects anything,\u201d Steve murmurs, flattening his lips to prevent anyone from sounding out the words from lip-reading alone.

He brings Danny\u2019s left hand to his lips, mouth brushing over the knuckles and pressing a kiss to the ring. To anyone who isn\u2019t Danny, it looks like his attention is on his doting husband.

Danny, though, knows Steve\u2019s looks.

And this look is \u2018I\u2019m gonna bring in a murderer come hell or high water and try to get laid while I do it\u2019. Maybe it\u2019s not just the face that\u2019s telling Danny that, but the fact that Steve is starting to get hard. It\u2019d be fairly impossible to miss that one.

Danny lets Steve sway him side to side while the steaks sizzle on the grill.

He feels like an idiot. He says as much aloud.

Steve takes entirely too long to answer, solidifying a place for him on Danny\u2019s \u2018I hate you with the fire of a thousand suns\u2019 list. \u201cDanny,\u201d Steve protests with a warm laugh when Danny smacks him at the shoulder. \u201cCome on, you seriously never just danced with Rachel on the backyard porch while dinner was being made?\u201d

It sounds suspiciously like Steve has called Rachel to take notes about How To Be Married To Danny, because that is precisely what he used to do with his ex-wife.

Danny furrows his brow. \u201cYou, you are not Rachel,\u201d he says, \u201cfirstly. And secondly, what a man does with his wife is an entirely different story than what he does with his fake-husband. Thirdly\u2026\u201d

\u201cHow many points are there, Danny?\u201d Steve interrupts. \u201cAnd can I just have the Powerpoint summary of them?\u201d

\u201cAll I\u2019m saying is that maybe I\u2019d prefer just sitting down and having beers with you,\u201d Danny says, sliding his palm up Steve\u2019s forearm, thumb tracing along a prominent vein. \u201cBrush my fingers over your knuckles and laugh at all your stupid jokes. And you know, maybe kiss you.\u201d It\u2019s not far from what they already do and Danny hopes that Steve gets that. \u201cGood marriage exists on the shoulders of good friendship.\u201d

Steve smirks at him.

\u201cWhat?\u201d Danny demands.

\u201cDid Oprah tell you that?\u201d

\u201cYou fucker. No, common sense<\/i> told me that,\u201d Danny says sharply, voice inching higher on the decibel scale for every minute he and Steve spend together. \u201cYou know it? It\u2019s that little hole in your brain that you should be storing the little voice that tells you not to do stupid shit like jump off cliffs or through plate-glass windows.\u201d

\u201cLately, I\u2019ve been noticing that voice sounds a lot like you,\u201d Steve replies. \u201cIt\u2019s a bit worrying.\u201d

\u201cLook at that, I\u2019m having an effect.\u201d

Steve sways just that much closer and Danny finds out how much truth there is to those words as to how much<\/i> of an effect he\u2019s having. Before Danny can slip a hand into Steve\u2019s cargo pants and do something about Steve\u2019s problem, Steve takes a long step backwards.

It\u2019s beyond frustrating.

It\u2019s like they\u2019re not spending their surveillance time talking to each other about what it\u2019s like when you fall in love with your dingbat partner. It\u2019s like Steve hasn\u2019t basically admitted to being in love with Danny.

Danny lets out a growl of frustration and wishes that Adams would make his move so Danny could go pummel something instead of listening to the calm and sane voice in his head \u2013 that sounds suspiciously like Steve \u2013 telling him that any progress they make as a thing<\/i> during an undercover situation won\u2019t hold and if Danny really wants things to last, he\u2019ll be patient too.

\u201cGoddamn, I hate that little voice,\u201d he mutters.

It\u2019s loud enough for Steve to hear, because when the other man is done taking a pull from his beer, he shares a look of commiseration with Danny. \u201cYou see how annoying you are?\u201d

\u201cFuck you, McGarrett. And grill my steak to medium rare before I file for divorce,\u201d Danny mutters, flipping him the finger.

*

The case is closed in a way that is tragically comical, and Danny doesn\u2019t know whether to laugh or to cry at the ridiculousness of the situation.

They\u2019ve been watching Adams every minute of every day for two weeks, waiting for him to make a move. Chin had called in the middle of the night two days ago thinking they had it, but turned out to be false hope. That moment is going to feature prominently in Danny\u2019s dreams for a while because after he\u2019d hung up the phone, he\u2019d rubbed at his face and tangled his legs up with Steve\u2019s. It was one in the morning, their lead was a bust, and all he wanted was to slide back into Steve\u2019s welcoming and warm embrace.

The next morning, Danny would realize how monumental that had been considering it was their first night sharing the bed. At the time, he\u2019d only cared about how good it felt to press his forehead to Steve\u2019s shoulder and drop off into sleep. The next morning Danny realized that he just spent a night in bed with Steve and the only weird thing about it was how it wasn\u2019t weird at all.

Two days later, Chin is calling in the early hours of the morning before Danny can experience his daily panic attack about whether or not he\u2019s been cuddling with McGarrett overnight.

\u201cYou\u2019ll never believe this.\u201d

Danny has a high threshold when it comes to unbelievable events, so he\u2019s not really expecting to be amazed. It turns out that he ought to have a lot more faith in his team, though.

It does turn out to be pretty unbelievable.

\u201cAre you kidding me?\u201d Danny asks for the twentieth time as Steve drives them to the station in the Camaro. \u201cI mean, are you seriously kidding me? He got implicated in a neighborhood watch raid? He\u2026he\u2026\u201d

\u201cHe stole his neighbor\u2019s little pink flamingo,\u201d Steve says when Danny gets stuck in disbelief. Steve sounds calm and rational, like all suspects will inevitably be felled by plastic animals. \u201cAnd there was an altercation. He brought the flamingo back into his home, at which point Mrs. Estes called the police to report the incident.\u201d

\u201cA flamingo got us the warrant,\u201d Danny says, finally past the stuttering pronouns. \u201cI\u2019m kissing the damn thing if Mrs. Estes lets me.\u201d

Steve purses his lips together slightly, like he wants to say something but is afraid of how ridiculous it sounds. The face he\u2019s making is pretty ridiculous too until Danny realizes what that face \u2013 pressed lips, furrowed brow, guarded eyes \u2013 means.

\u201cOh for god\u2026I\u2019m joking, it\u2019s a goddamn plastic flamingo, of course I\u2019m not gonna kiss it, do you know how many disgusting Hawaiian germs are probably on that thing?\u201d Danny heaves out the words with great derision. \u201cYou\u2019re a smart guy and then suddenly you get around me and you get stupid, Steve. Really stupid.\u201d

Steve stays silent in the face of that accusation, which is a terrifying thing in and of itself.

Steve parks in the station lot, drumming his fingers on the gearshift like he\u2019s beating out a tune to a missing song. Danny\u2019s already unbuckled and halfway out of the car when he leans back in through the window and stares at Steve. His fingers keep drumming and he seems to be in his own little land, a dazed look all over his face.

Eventually, the drumming pulls Danny\u2019s attention to the ring.

The rings that they\u2019re still both wearing and don\u2019t need to be, now that Adams is in custody and a search warrant has been issued. Danny clears his throat and slides the ring off his finger, the band dragging against rough skin.

It feels like it takes forever and there are at least two points in which Danny thinks he just ought to pretend he\u2019s forgotten about it. Still, Danny\u2019s gotta be an honest guy in this situation and he leans into the Camaro to press the ring into Steve\u2019s palm.

\u201cSo,\u201d Danny says, when an awkward silence threatens to strangle the both of them, \u201cyou\u2019re not gonna say your favorite thing? Not gonna tell me to go book \u2018em?\u201d

\u201cKono already did,\u201d Steve says. \u201cShe sent me a text,\u201d he goes on when Danny stares at him blankly and wordlessly asks him how he knew that already. Steve just stares at the ring in the palm of his hand and shoves it into the pocket of his cargo pants. \u201cI think we\u2019re officially off the case, now. The Governor will bring in professionals to interrogate Adams and get the conviction.\u201d

\u201cAnd what about us, huh?\u201d Danny leans his elbows against the roof of the Camaro.

Steve slides out of the car, unfolding his lean legs as he tucks away the keys in his other pocket. \u201cI don\u2019t follow.\u201d

\u201cHow about you calling the governor and asking her to file for divorce, how about that?\u201d Danny suggests, using both hands to gesture in Steve\u2019s direction. \u201cI mean, unless, unless, Steve. This wasn\u2019t real, right? This was a fake thing. Those were fake papers, right?\u201d Steve keeps walking inside with long strides and Danny struggles to follow after, grabbing hold of Steve\u2019s wrist and twisting hard. \u201cNo. You don\u2019t walk away from me. Jesus,\u201d he hisses. \u201cMcGarrett, what the fuck, was that for real?\u201d

\u201cDanny, just, drop it,\u201d Steve says sharply. \u201cWe booked a murderer today before anyone else could get hurt. We successfully accomplished our mission.\u201d

Danny has a scary impulse to salute right now.

He does not even want to begin to know in what insidious secret ways McGarrett has been Pavlovian training him. It\u2019s just too disturbing to even think about for very long. \u201cSir, yes, sir,\u201d Danny drawls sarcastically, physically willing his hands to stay at his sides. He can feel his upper lip curling in anger and disgust and there are twenty things he shouldn\u2019t be saying accumulating on his tongue.

\u201cWe did a good thing today, Danny,\u201d Steve says, casting his eyes down from whatever fixed point he\u2019d chosen to fixate on in the sky. Now, he looks at Danny. He looks at Danny like he\u2019s the only thing in the world.

It is, frankly, a little bit of a turn-on.

\u201cWe accomplished something greater than the two of us. Whatever our situation,\u201d Steve says and Danny can\u2019t help sputtering a laugh at the implication that they\u2019re nothing more than a briefing<\/i> in Steve\u2019s fucked head, \u201cHey,\u201d Steve snaps. \u201cI\u2019m serious. You and me, we\u2019re still going to be here tomorrow.\u201d

\u201cOkay, Steve, you haven\u2019t ever really been married,\u201d Danny says and when Steve opens his mouth to protest, Danny cuts him off. \u201cNo, nuh uh, a couple weeks with me doesn\u2019t count. There\u2019s this thing, this principle, this idea, that when you start taking things for granted, that when you start taking your partner<\/i> for granted and always assuming there\u2019s gonna be a tomorrow, that\u2019s the beginning of the end,\u201d he says, explaining this with his hands like Steve\u2019s not gonna grip it otherwise.

He needs to say this, because if Steve is working under the assumption that there\u2019s always going to be a tomorrow, Danny needs to yank that rug out from under him.

\u201cSteve, I\u2019m not going anywhere,\u201d Danny says when he feels the need to clarify. \u201cBut you take anything for granted, I\u2019m not just saying it\u2019s me, but anything<\/i> and you\u2019re gonna start waking up with regrets when suddenly those things don\u2019t stick around because they never got started. You, of all people, ought to get that.\u201d

Danny\u2019s got his fist in the air like he\u2019s ready to make another point, but he can feel the point slipping away from him by the minute. Arguing with Steve is like running face-first into a brick wall, sometimes. It just hurts and the brick wall doesn\u2019t learn anything from the disaster.

So he lets it go. He loosens his fingers and just shakes his head.

\u201cGo talk to the Governor, Steve,\u201d Danny says. \u201cI\u2019ll start in on the paperwork for Adams.\u201d

Danny walks away with the burgeoning feeling under his skin that he\u2019s not the kind of guy who\u2019s ever lived with regrets. He says what he means, does what he says, and leaves no room in between for hesitation. It\u2019s why he picked up and moved to Hawaii because it was the thing he was supposed to do so he didn\u2019t go to his grave saying, \u2018I wish I had\u2026\u2019

So what happens if there\u2019s not gonna be a tomorrow?

That thought\u2019s gonna bug Danny for a while.

*

Danny has a lot of trouble sleeping since they booked Adams.

He\u2019s trying not to put much thought into it, but the truth is that he misses the familiar warmth of another body in his bed. Hell, if he gets down to the nitty-gritty of it all, he misses a bed<\/i>. His pull-out couch is a pretty sad alternative to living in style and it\u2019s something he\u2019s having trouble coping with. He rolls over to face the blaring LED lights of his alarm clock and fumbles for the phone, dialing Steve before he\u2019s even really committed to doing it.

Steve picks up in two rings and sounds as alert as he ever does, like he\u2019s been awake the whole time \u2013 or maybe, just maybe, there\u2019s a chance he hasn\u2019t slept since he and Danny had words on HPD\u2019s doorstep. \u201cDanny, what is it? Are you okay? Do you want me to come by?\u201d

Danny laughs tiredly and shakes his head. \u201cSteve, calm down,\u201d he commands. \u201cI just wanted to know if you were around is all.\u201d

And then he hangs up.

He grabs three things before getting in the Camaro with a plastic bag in the passenger\u2019s seat. The drive to Steve\u2019s place seems endless and even though the streets are deserted, every inch that Danny drives feels like he\u2019s stuck in an onslaught of traffic. His phone rings four times and every time, it\u2019s Steve. It\u2019s Steve calling to check on him and Steve calling to worry about him.

Danny hits ignore every single time.

The phone is ringing for the fifth time as Danny rings Steve\u2019s doorbell with a pillow tucked under his arm and a bag filled with steak and movies. He leans his weight up against the wall and just grins when Steve pulls the door open.

Steve\u2019s appraisal of the situation borders on cute<\/i>. His gaze goes from the pillow to the bag to the movies to Danny. They\u2019re very clear-cut movements and it\u2019s both too late at night and Danny is exhausted, which is clearly why he thinks this is so adorable.

He\u2019d probably call Steve\u2019s \u2018act now, think never\u2019 stunts \u2018endearing\u2019 at the rate his brain is melting.

\u201cI can\u2019t sleep and Adams is behind bars and things are back to normal and I\u2019m tired of waiting for tomorrow,\u201d Danny says.

Steve arches his brow and there\u2019s this look<\/i> he\u2019s got like he really wants to ask about the pillow. Danny prevents him asking by foisting it at him and stepping inside the house. \u201cDanny\u2026?\u201d

\u201cLook, Steve, I like your bed, I do. But this pillow comes from Jersey. It is the best pillow I have ever had in my life. It was once a hotel pillow, but I liberated it, bleached the crap out of it, and have enjoyed it ever since,\u201d Danny says as he ambles around the house, sliding the good steaks in the fridge and placing the DVD\u2019s on the table for tomorrow. \u201cSo, you gotta let me have my own pillow is what I\u2019m saying.\u201d

\u201cDanny, what are you even saying? Why do you have a pillow?\u201d

\u201cLook,\u201d Danny says, feeling a bit panicky and blunt, \u201cWe\u2019re not gonna beat around this topic. You drive me absolutely batshit crazy, McGarrett. Fully and totally and I\u2019m still not entirely over the governor basically marrying us in a procedure that was possibly legally binding, I\u2019ve yet to decide if it was.\u201d He takes a deep breath, extending both hands to make a very clear point, \u201cBut the thing is that you drive me crazy and I got this thing where I find you endearing anyway. I find you goofy, I find you stupid, I wanna kiss the idiot out of you, I wanna touch you until you\u2019ve got Williams on every inch of your bare skin.\u201d

Steve keeps backing up and soon they\u2019re on the stairs \u2013 the pillow abandoned in the front hall.

Steve takes three steps up and Danny follows.

\u201cAnd don\u2019t even try and tell me you don\u2019t want me right back. You told me and then we were mature adults working a case,\u201d Danny says as they ascend five more steps while he speaks. \u201cBut the case is over now and I got you on record saying I belong here, so either you\u2019re a liar or you\u2019re a chicken.\u201d

\u201cWhy can\u2019t I be something else?\u201d Steve asks when they reach the top of the stairs.

\u201cCuz I have to make the first move!\u201d Mount Danny is erupting and no one is safe. \u201cHence, chicken. If you don\u2019t want me and I don\u2019t belong, you\u2019re a liar. So which is it gonna be?\u201d They\u2019ve made it to the doorway of Steve\u2019s bedroom at this point. \u201cAnd don\u2019t even think of trying that McGarrett charm on me and pulling a third option out of your pants, cuz I don\u2019t even wanna hear it.\u201d

\u201cIs that really what you want me to pull out of my pants, Danny?\u201d And oh, that is a wicked smile on Steve\u2019s face and Danny hates it as much as he loves it.

\u201cGet on the goddamn bed and later we\u2019re gonna have a talk.\u201d

Danny kicks the door shut and starts to make headway into finding out so many more of the things that Steve has kept hidden from him that he takes apart in turns until he\u2019s left with things he loves, hates, and can put up with.

And in the morning while Danny is running his fingers idly through Steve\u2019s hair, he asks what happened to the rings. Since they booked Adams, Danny hasn\u2019t seen a single glint of them.

Steve murmurs quiet ignorance before slipping into pleased moans when Danny starts massaging his shoulders. Danny takes it at face value and gets distracted by round six.

It\u2019s three months after that when Danny finds the rings in John McGarrett\u2019s CHAMP toolbox sitting atop a neat pile of signed documents. He swears to high heaven and the deepest hells as he reads over the legally binding<\/i> documents that his signature has managed to make its way onto. Three months later and he\u2019s apparently been married to Steve the whole time.

It must be love because Danny has never hated someone more in his entire life, but somehow, he just can\u2019t stop grinning

THE END","comments":"https:\/\/andrealyn.livejournal.com\/1503390.html?view=comments#comments","category":["pairing: steve\/danny","fiction: hawaii 5-0"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/andrealyn.livejournal.com\/1500266.html","pubDate":"Fri, 25 Feb 2011 03:49:15 GMT","title":"Title: Let's Dance Like We Used To","author":"andrealyn","link":"https:\/\/andrealyn.livejournal.com\/1500266.html","description":"Title: Let's Dance Like We Used To<\/b>
Pairing<\/b>: Steve\/Danny
Rating:<\/b> PG-13
Word Count:<\/b> 13,487
Disclaimer<\/b>: Not mine, never owned, though I wished upon many stars.
Summary<\/b>: There isn't a world in which Danny wouldn't go after Grace. So when Rachel moves the family to California, Danny goes with. Steve gets left to process life without Danny.
Notes<\/b>: So, that word count is exactly how many donuts I baked in Iqaluit in four days. But that's another story. The title is from Unfinished Business<\/i> by Mumford & Sons, <\/a>gyzym<\/b><\/a><\/span> was my incrediwonderawesome beta who let me ramble and this story is for <\/a>liketheroad<\/b><\/a><\/span>, who puts up with me.



Danny leaves the island on a Tuesday.

It\u2019s not a day that anyone is likely to forget. For one, Grace had a pretty big fit at the airport when it comes time to say goodbye to Chin and Kono. Danny feels for her, he really does. The kid didn\u2019t ask to be taken away from her home once, and now she has to go through it all over again. Worse, this time she\u2019s old enough to really know what she\u2019s leaving behind. Grace sulks and pouts, but Rachel just holds onto her hand tighter. \u201cGrace, our flight is boarding,\u201d she prompts.

Grace turns to Danny, looking a little wild around the eyes. \u201cDanno, Steve isn\u2019t here yet.\u201d

Danny\u2019s holding a boarding pass in his hands. He\u2019s booked onto the very same flight as his daughter\u2019s happy shiny family because he meant it when he said that he\u2019d follow Grace anywhere, no matter what. He\u2019d go to the moon and Jupiter and right back if he had to. They\u2019ve been in Oahu for three years now, but Stan\u2019s business isn\u2019t the kind that keeps them in one place. It\u2019s time for them to move on and home from here on out is San Diego.

Danny had known what he was going to do from the moment Rachel delivered the news. After all, he\u2019s pretty predicable when it comes to his daughter.

Rachel and Stan pack up their livelihood and along goes Grace to a new home. Despite having a rough go of accepting it, Danny knows that there\u2019s no other option. He\u2019s going, too. All his possessions have been sent in advance -- his meager little collection of a life in sad little brown boxes -- and he\u2019s ready to follow.

They\u2019d be on that plane, too, if it weren\u2019t for Grace\u2019s stubborn determination to say goodbye to a man who hasn\u2019t even got the stones to show up and see them off.

Danny wishes this didn\u2019t hurt<\/i> so goddamn much. After three years working with Steve and forming the perfect partnership they had, he thinks he deserves at least a goodbye. If nothing else, maybe one of those constipated SEAL looks where Steve\u2019s forehead gets all pinched and he crosses his arms tight over his torso and shows off those back muscles he\u2019s spent years cultivating. Instead, Danny\u2019s hovering just outside security and getting nothing. Nada.

\u201cChin, we really don\u2019t have much time and I can\u2019t afford to change my ticket,\u201d Danny warns. \u201cIf he\u2019s not here soon\u2026\u201d

\u201cI\u2019m on it, bro,\u201d Chin says, already getting his phone out to text Steve.

Kono lingers, a worried look on her face trying to supersede the sadness. \u201cI\u2019m going to miss you, Danny. I\u2019m really, really going to miss you.\u201d She\u2019s moving forward in no time, throwing her arms around him tightly and burying her face in his neck. \u201cI always thought maybe it\u2019d be New Jersey that got you. Boss always said so.\u201d

\u201cYeah, well, Steve had a paranoid fear that Jersey could pull me back,\u201d Danny says, teasing her as he brushes hair from off her cheek. \u201cI\u2019m just a flight away, okay? I mean, hell, Mary does it all the time, who says I can\u2019t visit?\u201d

\u201cIt won\u2019t be the same,\u201d is all Kono has to say about that, the sadness becoming overwhelming. \u201cCatch a wave for me, will you? Just one. Please?\u201d

\u201cWe\u2019ll see. I mean, I\u2019m moving back to the mainland, I\u2019m pretty sure I\u2019m going to become at least<\/i> five times more sane the minute my feet touch the ground,\u201d Danny jokes, a grin on his face to mask the fact that this is one of the hardest moments of his entire life. \u201cAnd hey! Now you\u2019re getting a promotion. Steve\u2019s gonna need a new partner and you have been roundhousing your way into his heart, don\u2019t think he hasn\u2019t noticed.\u201d

Kono just hugs him that much tighter and for a second Danny feels like he can\u2019t breathe. He\u2019s never been good with loss and while he knows this has always been a possibility, seeing it in reality \u2013 Grace leaving, him shadowing \u2013 is killing him.

Chin hangs up and heads back over. \u201cETA ten minutes.\u201d

\u201cHe made you say that verbatim, didn\u2019t he,\u201d Danny accuses, but they really are running out of time. He claps a hand on Chin\u2019s shoulder and brings him closer into a tight hug, trying to keep himself together. He\u2019s got all the time in the world to lose it on the plane. Right now, he\u2019s Danny Williams, steady rock of emotions.

Chin looks pretty happy for him. He looks as if he\u2019s ready to congratulate Danny on getting what he wants.

Danny ignores the sick feeling in his stomach that is so very quick to remind him that ever since he joined Five-O and met Steve McGarrett, what he wants has been sliding over an axis of change and has become something so entirely different. \u201cYou\u2019re on my five.\u201d

\u201cI\u2019m on your what?\u201d Danny protests with a burst of strangled laughter at the insanity of it all.

\u201cMy family five, bro, call any time,\u201d Chin says seriously, wiggling his phone.

\u201cI\u2019m glad to have nudged out Cousin Ele for the privilege,\u201d Danny deadpans, but hugs Chin a little tighter, nonetheless, only releasing him when Grace starts tugging at his pants, demanding her turn.

Danny shifts his gaze to the line for security where Rachel has been lingering, pointedly staring at her watch. He mouths \u2018I know\u2019 as clearly as he can and keeps his attention simultaneously on his watch and the airport doors. He bends down and looks Grace in the eye.

It\u2019s time to do damage control because it\u2019s looking like Steve isn\u2019t going to make it.

Danny buries the rage that settles in his stomach. Now is not the time to go over his many issues with Steve and what his absence is implying. Danny doesn\u2019t want to focus on the fact that a good number of those issues didn\u2019t even exist until Danny showed up and told Steve he was moving and things grew strange between them. \u201cMonkey,\u201d Danny says softly, \u201cUncle Steve looks like he\u2019s still in traffic. How about we get through security and then we can call him when we land?\u201d

\u201cI want to say goodbye, though,\u201d Grace replies, sounding so very unsure. \u201cCan\u2019t we just wait a little longer, Danno?\u201d

\u201cJust a little bit,\u201d Danny says because he would miss the plane if it meant he could say goodbye to Steve properly. But planes wait for no man, child, or Navy SEAL who can\u2019t run on time.

He scrubs a hand through his hair as he feels tension start to sink through his body like a stone. He really can\u2019t miss this flight and he\u2019s so pissed<\/i>, so righteously pissed at McGarrett for doing this to him.

Yeah, so it\u2019s difficult. Of course it\u2019s fucking difficult. It\u2019s not like this is Danny\u2019s first choice. If he had his way, Grace would stay exactly where she was so Danny could stay with Five-O. So Danny could stay with Steve. For the last few months, things had been building up to the point that Danny was sure the pressure was going to blow and they were going to make headway into this thing<\/i> they had.

He still isn\u2019t sure if he would\u2019ve made the first move or if it would\u2019ve been Steve, but it was gonna happen. Danny had been feeling it right down to his bones. Then came the fateful phone call from Rachel which set off a chain reaction of apartment hunting, job transfer applications, and telling Steve.

Steve, who had taken the news like a robot. Who\u2019d said, \u201cYou\u2019d do anything for Grace,\u201d and then didn\u2019t speak to Danny for two whole days, which had been impressive considering they still shared a car during that time.

And then, like a switch got turned off, Danny stopped catching those looks of Steve\u2019s that lingered just a minute or two too long. Steve had stopped pressing his hands to Danny\u2019s person and, in general, it had been like Steve reverted back to the cold and calculating man he had been when Danny had first met him \u2013 before Danny had done some good work on the headstrong menace, in his not so humble opinion.

And now he\u2019s late to say goodbye. That\u2019s not the part that miffs Danny. Sure, he\u2019s pissed and all, but he can cope. It\u2019s the fact that Steve is late and it\u2019s making Grace<\/i> upset that doesn\u2019t even qualify for any kind of safe harbor. There are things you just do not do and upsetting Danny\u2019s daughter is numero uno on that list.

\u201cChin, we gotta go,\u201d Danny says, when eight minutes has passed.

\u201cNo,\u201d Kono begs. \u201cWait, hold on, I see his truck.\u201d

Danny hates his traitorous emotions, which practically leap at the knowledge that Steve is here. He can even see him flash his badge at the parking attendant and that, more than anything, makes Danny shake his head at how Steve<\/i> he\u2019s being, even now.

Danny gives Grace a light nudge and watches her go running off in Steve\u2019s direction, jumping up into his arms and holding on so tight that it looks like one of them is going to break. That look on Steve\u2019s face is a pretty good hint that it\u2019ll be him. Danny watches them and remembers to breathe, lets out a hiss of an exhalation that he\u2019d been keeping in.

Steve whispers something to Grace and she nods and nods. Eventually, he sets her back on the floor and she readjusts the straps of her Barbie backpack and wanders back over to Danny\u2019s side.

\u201cHe wants to see you, Danno,\u201d Grace says very seriously.

\u201cChin, can you take her over to Rachel?\u201d Danny asks, but he hasn\u2019t let his gaze slip away from Steve for a single second. Chin says something, Danny\u2019s sure he does, but Danny is a little more preoccupied with the fact that he\u2019s closing the distance between him and Steve and he\u2019s not entirely sure yet if he\u2019s going to do something really stupid like kiss him or something really sane like punch him to bookend their Hawaii relationship.

In the end, he compromises by shoving Steve as hard as he can before hauling him back, hands gripping his shoulders to pull him into a tight embrace.

\u201cYou\u2019re an asshole and if you\u2019d been two minutes later, you would\u2019ve ruined Grace\u2019s day,\u201d Danny says, tipping his face to the side so his words don\u2019t get muffled by Steve\u2019s ridiculous chest. He starts to feel really awkward about the fact that they\u2019re doing this while thousands of people mill around them and backs off, clearing his throat.

Steve\u2019s doing the whole thousand-yard stare thing and oh god, is it pissing the crap out of Danny.

\u201cI\u2019m not even joking, Steve, I\u2019ve got minutes<\/i> before security\u2019s gonna close down my flight and I gotta go,\u201d Danny says, not sure if he\u2019s expecting Steve to flash a ticket that says he\u2019s coming along or whether he\u2019s really just going to keep staring. Steve just keeps standing there and saying nothing. \u201cOkay, fuck this,\u201d Danny announces. \u201cSteve, I have to go, so, say whatever it is you\u2019re going to say and let\u2019s get it over with.\u201d

\u201cDanno,\u201d Steve says, looking him up and down. \u201cDon\u2019t forget to put on sunscreen. The UV levels are high in California right now.\u201d

\u201cThe UV, the UV levels are\u2026\u201d Danny is sputtering at this point, shaking his head. He\u2019s not sure what he\u2019d been expecting, but he thought maybe it\u2019d be a little more intimate or personal than \u2018hey Danny, I\u2019m concerned about you contracting melanoma\u2019. He exhales and it\u2019s sharp enough that it feels like his chest collapses once the breath is out of him.

Steve is standing there stoic and steady. He\u2019s not about to do anything else and it\u2019s Danny who decides \u2018to hell with it\u2019.

He winds his hand around Steve\u2019s neck, burying in the short hairs at the nape and just hauls Steve down to him, pressing their foreheads firmly together. He can feel Steve breathing against his neck and Danny stays resolute and strong.

\u201cIf you die because I left the island, you\u2019re gonna piss me off an incredible amount, Steve,\u201d is all Danny has to say in warning. \u201cAnd I have put too much work and time and blood<\/i> into keeping you alive and turning you into a good cop to just let you do that. I\u2019m a flight away, do not<\/i> think this gives you permission to go crazy.\u201d He tightens his grip when Steve tries to back away.

If he\u2019d wanted to, if Steve had actually resisted, Danny would never have been able to keep him there. Steve doesn\u2019t move a single inch. Danny lets his gaze flick up and he looks at Steve\u2019s half-lidded eyes, the way his lashes just barely brush against his cheek and thinks about how many times this gorgeous man has heard all about how good he looks.

Danny tightens his grip once more, bringing Steve in so close that he could do anything. He could kiss him, he could punch him, he could beg for Steve to say something else, but Danny holds strong.

\u201cI\u2019m serious,\u201d Danny says in warning. \u201cSteve\u2026\u201d

\u201cDanno,\u201d Steve finally says, interrupting him. \u201cYour family is waiting.\u201d

\u201cYou asshole, you\u2019re family too,\u201d Danny accuses, wondering if Steve is just playing a martyr or if he genuinely doesn\u2019t know. He finally lets go of Steve and from the look on Steve\u2019s face, he didn\u2019t actually know, which just breaks Danny\u2019s heart in about twelve ways at once. \u201cSteve, I\u2019ll call,\u201d he promises. \u201cDon\u2019t do anything I wouldn\u2019t do.\u201d

\u201cI\u2019m not wearing ties, Danny.\u201d

It\u2019s just what he needs to lighten him up. Danny lets out a laugh as he grabs hold of his carry-on and blows one final kiss in Steve\u2019s direction before joining Rachel and Grace at the security line.

\u201cHe\u2019s not coming?\u201d Rachel remarks softly, like she\u2019d been expecting it too.

Danny has to stop living in a fantasy. They\u2019re adults and this isn\u2019t some pulp novel off the shelves of the romance section. \u201cWhat are you talking about, are you kidding me?\u201d he says, getting his ID and his boarding pass ready. \u201cThe man has a job to do, a task force to run, and his home is here. What are you talking about, he\u2019s not coming, of course he\u2019s not.\u201d

Rachel gives a thoughtful noise and proceeds, leaving Danny to take hold of Grace\u2019s hand tightly.

\u201cReady, Danno?\u201d

\u201cReady as I\u2019m getting, Monkey,\u201d Danny agrees and with one last look back at Steve, he boards the flight that takes him far, far away from Hawaii.

*

The idea that Danny would just forget Hawaii in the blink of an eye is a fair assumption only to the people who don\u2019t really get<\/i> him. Sure, he never liked the place. It was too hot, it had too many tropical fruits, and the way of life just isn\u2019t something that Danny could ever get used to. He likes it when he doesn\u2019t live in a place where \u2018welcome to the island\u2019 is a catch-all to explain everything wrong with the way that Danny lives his life.

Still, there were good things about it, too. And that\u2019s why there\u2019s no way that he\u2019d ever just forget.

San Diego isn\u2019t exactly that much of a change from his regular routine. It\u2019s on the mainland, sure, but it still gets plenty hot and he\u2019s still occasionally surrounded by beach bums who wouldn\u2019t know a tie if it strangled them.

It makes him think of Oahu and Five-O. It makes him want to pick up the phone and call headquarters to get new updates.

For every surfboard that makes him think of Kono, every motorbike passing by his apartment in the middle of the night reminding him of Chin, there\u2019s something here that\u2019s far worse. The presence of the Naval Base makes him think of Steve, always<\/i> and constantly. Every time they have a case that brings them onto the base, Danny looks at men with short-cut hair and lithe bodies and sees Steve. He\u2019s gone half-crazy thinking he\u2019s actually seen<\/i> Steve about three times now and Garcia, his partner, is starting to worry about him.

\u201cAlways on the base, brother,\u201d Garcia says while they\u2019re parked outside a lunch truck, grabbing a couple of deli sandwiches before they go back to the precinct to question another suspect. \u201cWhat\u2019s the matter, did a sailor fuck you over in a previous life?\u201d

And because Danny doesn\u2019t even know what Steve\u2019s done to him, he doesn\u2019t get hot under the collar. Instead, he just laughs until his stomach\u2019s sore and claps Garcia on the back. \u201cIt\u2019s a long story, my friend, and I\u2019m not even sure I know how to tell it right.\u201d

So yeah, this whole place has reminders for him. He takes them in, lets them settle, and when he\u2019s ready, he calls Five-O and lets Chin tell him all about their latest caseload. He lets Kono regale her last victory on the water.

On the days that he\u2019s really feeling strong, he bucks up his bravery and says, \u201cPut Steve on, will you?\u201d

There\u2019s a hesitation and a shuffle as if they\u2019re not sure if it\u2019s a good idea to do that, but moments later, Steve turns up on the other end of the line.

\u201cHi.\u201d Danny always speaks first, a halting awkwardness in his speech that had never been there before he put half an ocean between them. \u201cHow are you?\u201d It\u2019s like they\u2019re acquaintances, like in the last months before Danny had left, Danny hadn\u2019t been slowly moving all his things into Steve\u2019s place in a kind of blind game of chicken.

Danny had pretended that he was getting away with it and Steve had pretended not to notice and slowly all of Danny\u2019s things began to take up residence in Steve\u2019s closet. Danny\u2019s lease had been about to expire and Danny was going to make it official then, but before he could do that, Rachel and the Call came.

Now, it\u2019s like they\u2019re strangers<\/i>.

\u201cYou blow anyone up today?\u201d Danny asks and, god help him, as pissy as he is at Steve for being a total asshole who\u2019s knocked their relationship back several ice ages, he still can\u2019t help his fond tone. And Steve, so very aware of his tones, can probably pick it out thousands of miles away. \u201cBecause I\u2019ve been checking the newspaper and it\u2019s almost like you\u2019re behaving.\u201d

\u201cI don\u2019t blow people up, Danny,\u201d is Steve\u2019s heated reply.

So it\u2019s going to be one of those<\/i> days. Danny sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose as he heads to the kitchen for a beer. If Steve is going to be like this, Danny\u2019s going to be in need of some alcoholic assistance.

\u201cSteve,\u201d Danny sighs. \u201cLook, is it possible for you to drop the machismo for ten minutes? Fifteen?\u201d Danny begs, pleads, practically cajoles and he\u2019s using his free hand to gesticulate, even though Steve can\u2019t actually see it. \u201cWhat happened, babe?\u201d

\u201cWell,\u201d comes Steve\u2019s patient reply, \u201cI got to work one day to find a job transfer application on my desk with your name on it and you didn\u2019t say anything for a full day. That\u2019s about what happened, Danny. Tell me if I\u2019m wrong.\u201d

Danny shifts uncomfortably and keeps rubbing at his forehead. \u201cI tried to get them to stall the form until I told you.\u201d

\u201cYour number one reaction should have been telling me, Danny. We saw each other twenty-four seven. You could have done it over breakfast or in the car on the way to work or while we watched the game.\u201d Steve sounds really calm. He always sounds really calm, like he always has things in hand and Danny\u2019s just the overemotional one who can\u2019t keep it together.

What\u2019s he supposed to say to this? It\u2019s his own fault for thinking that he could get away with it, but it would\u2019ve happened one way or the other.

So Danny goes back to his default response in this situation. \u201cSteve, c\u2019mon, you know how my life goes. Rachel moves, Grace goes with her, and I follow. She\u2019s my baby girl, Steve,\u201d he says, helplessly. \u201cThere isn\u2019t any other way this could\u2019ve gone.\u201d

There\u2019s just a slight catch in his tone and someone experienced in reading Danny would know that there is a different way this could have gone, but that way involves Danny being so selfish that he takes away a great leader from Honolulu and he is not that guy. He is not<\/i>.

It doesn\u2019t matter that there\u2019s a little voice that tells him that he deserves to be selfish because he lives his life being selfless \u2013 catching the bad guys, putting them away, living anywhere in the world just for his kid \u2013 and he deserves something<\/i>. He deserves to have something he wants and he\u2019s not afraid to admit that he wants Steve.

He wants Steve to pick up and leave Hawaii for him.

So, in short, Danny Williams is an idiot. He\u2019s aware of this. Rachel makes sure he\u2019s aware of it on a daily basis.

With Steve so far away and Danny settling into a new life here, he\u2019s going to take what he can get and right now that constitutes a phone call. \u201cSeriously, Steve, what\u2019s up, what happened?\u201d Danny tries again, settling back on the couch with the phone tucked in against his neck. It takes a little more prodding, but inevitably Steve just starts talking.

It\u2019s like a dam has burst. Once he starts, he keeps going. He tells Danny all about the Governor\u2019s visit and about the latest bad guys. He spends at least twenty minutes ranting about something his sister\u2019s done and then tells Danny that Kono hurt her knee again on the Pipeline.

\u201cI told her to stay off that thing,\u201d Danny kvetches with a sigh. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you listen to me more often? There would be less injuries if I got listened to, is all I\u2019m saying.\u201d

\u201cYes, dear,\u201d is Steve\u2019s automatic reply and Danny grins.

They might not be face to face, but it\u2019s like a little piece of home over the phone. \u201cHey,\u201d Danny says, grabbing a pillow to get comfortable as he lies down, closing his eyes to let Steve\u2019s voice wash over him as he relaxes after a day at the office. \u201cKeep talking to me.\u201d

He falls asleep to the sound of Steve\u2019s voice and in the morning, all Garcia can talk about is how glad he is that Danny finally got laid.

\u201cFuck off, man,\u201d Danny complains sharply. \u201cYou know I haven\u2019t had anyone<\/i> in my place since I got here.\u201d

\u201cWhatever it is,\u201d Garcia says, compiling the files for the day, \u201ckeep it up, Williams. You actually look like you\u2019re not minutes away from a stroke. So, whatever you ate or whatever game you watched or whatever you did, do it again. We\u2019ve already solved three cases, you and me. Can\u2019t have you stroking out on the job. What\u2019s gonna happen to my success rate then?\u201d

\u201cIt\u2019ll plummet,\u201d Danny takes great delight in saying. \u201cRight to the bottom of the ocean, my friend. Because this is all Williams,\u201d he says, smug and glad to finally have a partner that understands due process and that when you\u2019re interrogating a witness, torture techniques should not appear anywhere on the agenda.

Danny refuses to admit it, but there are times in the middle of those interrogations that he maybe misses Steve a lot<\/i>. Not because of how much quicker Steve tends to pull information out of people, just because he misses showing off what a cop is actually supposed to do.

Yeah. That\u2019s all it is.

*

On a Wednesday afternoon, Danny gets the third best shock of his life. He arrives back at the station with lunch in hand and a hell of a complaint about the pizza place they\u2019ve been going to. When he checks in at the front desk, he\u2019s told that there\u2019s a delinquent waiting for him at his desk.

\u201cYou\u2019re shitting me,\u201d he says, grinning as he practically drops the box of pizza on Garcia\u2019s desk and takes long strides across the office. He makes it to his desk and doesn\u2019t even wait a second to haul the blond woman right up from the chair and into his arms. \u201cHow\u2019d the fun McGarrett find me first?\u201d he wonders, hugging her tightly. \u201cSeriously, I\u2019ve been expecting Steve to break into my apartment for months now.\u201d

He\u2019s not joking. He wishes he were, but he\u2019s not. Every morning he wakes up and half-expects to see Steve there to help Danny finish their unfinished whatever<\/i>, but he never is.

It\u2019s good to see Mary. It\u2019s really<\/i> good and Danny sometimes forgets that she\u2019s just down the coastline. She looks pretty damn happy to see him back and she looks good<\/i>. No hint of guilt in her expression, no bruises from wayward kidnappings.

\u201cFunny you should say that,\u201d she says when they sit down again to talk. \u201cI just got back from the island.\u201d

\u201cTell me you\u2019re not here on Five-O check-up business,\u201d Danny says with a pleading groan.

\u201cChin worries,\u201d Mary says evenly, but there\u2019s a smirk playing around her lips. \u201cAnd my brother\u2026well\u2026\u201d

Danny\u2019s been getting the feeling that Steve\u2019s not in a good place. Sure, he gets told that everything\u2019s fine, but once in a while Danny goes into the HPD database and he finds a string of complaints from suspects about Five-O brutality. So, you know, nothing out of the ordinary, but the numbers have gone up just enough to be a worry.

\u201cYou want some coffee?\u201d

Mary checks her watch. \u201cIt\u2019s two. I want a drink.\u201d

Which is how Danny ends up drinking at a bar with McGarrett\u2019s sister at three o\u2019clock in the afternoon while Danny half-pays attention to the game and listens to Mary discuss the old boyfriend who\u2019s now an ex and the new boyfriend who used to be an ex.

\u201cPlease, don\u2019t mind me saying,\u201d Danny murmurs between pints, \u201cbut your love life is terrifying and complicated.\u201d

She scoffs. \u201cLike yours is any better? You do know Steve has a picture of you in his bedroom, right?\u201d

\u201cThat, I did not know, no, I did not know that,\u201d Danny says, a little shocked by this turn of information, frankly. \u201cWhere in the bedroom? I mean, are we talking about hearts drawn around me pinned to the back of the door? Is it in his pillowcase next to his Uzi or is this just one of those pictures with darts in it?\u201d

Mary just smiles in an enigmatic way. Danny hates that smile.

\u201cYou learned that one from Steve.\u201d

\u201cHe\u2019s not bad for a few things,\u201d she says and leans over the bar with her whole upper torso. \u201cBartender! Another round for me and my\u2026\u201d She turns and narrows her eyes as she looks at Danny. \u201cHell, why not, he\u2019s my buddy now,\u201d she says.

\u201cYou say that,\u201d Danny says, licking the foam from off his upper lip, \u201cbut I am telling you right now, you commit any felonies, I am not cutting you loose. I am not that easily bought.\u201d

She smiles at him and this one, this one he has also seen in the vicinity of Steve McGarrett\u2019s face. It\u2019s mischievous and daring and cuts just a little too dangerously on the side of her doing something that Danny\u2019s not going to like. And as opposed to her brother\u2019s insane daredevil smiles, Mary\u2019s has just an edge of pride and smugness to it.

\u201cSteve wants to know how you\u2019re doing,\u201d she finally says. \u201cNot that he asked or said it in as many words, but his first question was whether or not you were dating anyone and then he asked about your knee and a bunch of other things. He thinks that you\u2019re not honest with him.\u201d

\u201cHe\u2019s secretly a nag, isn\u2019t he? He\u2019s kept it secret this long, but he\u2019s a big old worrywart nag,\u201d Danny says. \u201cI feel this. I feel this to my very bones.\u201d

\u201cWell, after Mom\u2026\u201d Mary presses her lips tightly together and suddenly Danny feels bad. He feels like the kid who puts gum in a little girl\u2019s hair as a joke and she starts sobbing right in his face. That\u2019s generally about how he feels. \u201cDad shipped us both off. It\u2019s not like either of us really figured out how you\u2019re supposed to act. So, I maybe got a little irresponsible and Steve\u2026\u201d

\u201cOh, trust me, I know all about the head wound your brother suffered to be the way he is,\u201d Danny says with great sureness, using his hands to gesture all over the place. \u201cAnd I know all about those primal pack instincts. Protect your family, grr, all that. There is a look<\/i> he gets, it is like a puppy with a toy. A very possessive puppy that will not let anyone hurt his toys and we,\u201d he says, gesturing between them, \u201cwe are those toys. We are those squeaky, abused, well-worn toys.\u201d

Mary stares into her pint of beer for a very long moment before looking at Danny. \u201cI\u2019m not a squeaky toy,\u201d is all she says.

\u201cRespect a metaphor, will you?\u201d Danny says, but he leans over and nudges her with his shoulder, sending her swaying slightly. He\u2019s happy. He\u2019s not giddy<\/i> because Danny is suspect as to whether he could ever be such a thing, but having beers with Mary with the knowledge that he\u2019s picking up his kid in a couple days, that makes him happy. \u201cBesides, I\u2019m the toy with the prize inside. I\u2019ve got layers, I am deep,\u201d he says.

\u201cSo,\u201d Mary says. \u201cAre you dating anyone?\u201d

\u201cTell Steve no, no, I am not dating anyone. And then tell him that my knee is fine. It is extra<\/i> fine because there are no maniacs injuring me on a weekly basis in their refusal to conduct proper police procedure. And uh, and what else does he want to know?\u201d

\u201cI\u2019m pretty sure Steve won\u2019t be happy until you send him an hour-by-hour log of your day,\u201d Mary says with such a sad tone, like even she understands how lost a cause Steve is. \u201cThat includes when you get off.\u201d

Danny had been drinking some very good beer when she\u2019d said that. Very good beer that is no longer any kind of decent beer because he\u2019s spit most of it up on the bar and there\u2019s a good portion of it on his shirt.

She\u2019s grinning away when he turns to glare at her. He picks up his soaking tie and runs his palm over it. \u201cThis was a good tie. This was a silk<\/i> tie.\u201d

\u201cIt\u2019s California, why are you still wearing ties?\u201d

He pokes a finger right in her face because no. No, this will not happen here. Not again. \u201cThis is the mainland. This is what a detective looks like and, unlike in Honolulu, if you walk into SDPD, you will see a number of men wearing ties and women in suits. I have returned to the land of sanity and now my tie is ruined because you think Steve cares about my jacking off habits.\u201d

She shrugs and slides her glass from hand to hand. \u201cI\u2019m just saying what I know. If you want to know when Steve does it\u2026\u201d

Danny plugs his fingers in his ears. \u201cNot listening! I am not listening! Sisters should not know this kind of information about their brothers.\u201d He keeps making loud noises until Mary forcibly reaches over and pries his hand away by the wrist. \u201cYou two have an incredibly creepy relationship.\u201d

\u201cWe had a unique upbringing,\u201d she agrees. \u201cI\u2019ll tell Steve that he\u2019s being an idiot paranoid jackass. In exchange, you and I do this at least once a week. I kinda can see what my brother sees in you. You\u2019re fun,\u201d she says.

Danny\u2019s not sure that he likes being fun<\/i> as labeled by Mary McGarrett.

\u201cAnd also?\u201d she says, after the bartender takes away the empty glasses. \u201cI don\u2019t think you\u2019re the squeaky toy with the prize inside.\u201d Danny doesn\u2019t even want to know where this is going, but he makes a gesture to encourage her to finish. She just slings her arm around his shoulders and brings him close, like she\u2019s about to tell him a secret. \u201cYou\u2019re the big plushy toy that he wants to hump.\u201d

\u201cYou are horrifying<\/i>!\u201d Danny accuses, but he\u2019s grinning, laughing, and he\u2019s got three beers in him. \u201cGenuinely, honestly horrifying. One day, I am going to tell your brother that you have a filthy, filthy mind and he\u2019s gonna do some SEAL thing and cleanse it all out of you using good dental hygiene routines or\u2026or something, I don\u2019t know.\u201d Danny is practically pink, but he\u2019s still laughing until his stomach starts to ache from it.

He\u2019s definitely had worse afternoons than this.

cont'd<\/a>","comments":"https:\/\/andrealyn.livejournal.com\/1500266.html?view=comments#comments","category":["pairing: steve\/danny","fiction: hawaii 5-0"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/andrealyn.livejournal.com\/1500082.html","pubDate":"Fri, 25 Feb 2011 03:48:03 GMT","author":"andrealyn","link":"https:\/\/andrealyn.livejournal.com\/1500082.html","description":"

*

Danny gets the second best shock of his life four months after he leaves Oahu for San Diego. He\u2019s been joking for months that he\u2019s going to wake up and Steve is going to be in his apartment to kidnap him back home. Garcia gets a good laugh out of it \u2013 Garcia now better understands Steve ever since the day Danny broke and started telling stories \u2013 but it\u2019s always been just a joke.

At least, it\u2019s a joke until one Wednesday morning he wakes up to light spilling in past the curtains and a solid presence in the bedside chair just watching<\/i> him.

\u201cOkay!\u201d Danny spits out the word in a shocked shout, his heart already racing. \u201cI\u2019m armed!\u201d

\u201cYou\u2019re armed while you sleep?\u201d is Steve\u2019s incredulous retort. \u201cDanny, I don\u2019t think that\u2019s safe.\u201d

Danny fumbles to lean over to the bedside drawer, grabbing a knife in its case and showing it pointedly to Steve before shoving it right back in the drawer, slamming it shut. Steve is just sitting there<\/i>, like it hasn\u2019t been four months, like watching someone sleep isn\u2019t strange, like it\u2019s okay to just sit there and not even look like you need to breathe.

\u201cMcGarrett, you can call the Boy Scouts and tell them you earned your stalking badge,\u201d Danny says tiredly, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. \u201cYou give those Twilight vampires something to aspire to.\u201d

Steve looks absolutely blank and clueless at once.

\u201cDon\u2019t worry, Grace will explain it to you some day.\u201d

Danny tries to shake the fuzz out of his brain and works around to the real question.

\u201cSteve, what the hell are you doing here?\u201d he asks. Yeah, he\u2019d always joked about this, but seeing it actually happening is a little bit terrifying. It makes him wonder if maybe something\u2019s gone wrong or if somebody\u2019s hurt. He can\u2019t even control his fear once it gets started. \u201cKono? Chin? Is it\u2026\u201d

\u201cDanny, everyone is fine,\u201d Steve says. He sounds calm and casual. He sounds like he\u2019s going to start asking Danny about his day and it is too early<\/i> for this.

Danny rubs at his forehead and tries to figure out what he\u2019s supposed to do in this situation. He pinches himself just to make sure it isn\u2019t a dream \u2013 it isn\u2019t and also, he\u2019s pretty sure there shouldn\u2019t be that much skin on his arm to pinch so maybe Mary\u2019s right about him needing to lose weight.

\u201cDanny?\u201d Steven asks again, sounding hopeful.

\u201cSteve, I need you to\u2026\u201d He waves in the generic direction of the air. \u201cI need for you to be\u2026\u201d It\u2019s so early<\/i> and he still needs to go to work today. \u201cI need for you to be not here right now. Just for a little. Okay?\u201d

Steve doesn\u2019t answer. He just stays right where he\u2019s sitting and keeps staring at Danny.

\u201cOkay,\u201d Danny answers for him, leaning over to grab his wallet. He digs out a couple of bills and presses them into Steve\u2019s hand. Danny sends Steve for breakfast to the bagel place down the street and when he\u2019s sure<\/i> that Steve\u2019s gone, he fumbles for his cell and immediately calls Chin. \u201cWhat the hell, you couldn\u2019t have warned me? Said, I don\u2019t know, \u2018Hey Danny, so guess what, you\u2019re probably going to wake up and Steve is going to be watching you sleep<\/i>, like a maniac\u2019. What is wrong with saying that! What is wrong with making that phone call!\u201d

\u201cDanny, calm down,\u201d Chin says. He can hear Kono in the background, chirping a bright, \u2018Hi Danny!\u2019 at him.

\u201cNo, no, no, no \u2018Hi Danny\u2019,\u201d Danny warns, waving his finger at the phone and wishing that they could see him, that they could see how very not okay with this whole thing he is. \u201cYou two are in so much trouble. I could have had a heart attack! Poor heart health runs in the Williams family, waking up to Steve McGarrett watching you could very well be the leading cause of death in Hawaii! That deserves warning.\u201d

\u201cIf you\u2019re worried about your heart,\u201d Kono says, her voice just slightly distant, like she\u2019s leaning over Chin\u2019s shoulder, \u201cmaybe you should cut down on the sugary stuff. Mary told us that you put on a couple pounds.\u201d

\u201cI hate you,\u201d Danny says, shaking his head. \u201cI hate you so much. I am not visiting for your birthday anymore and you are not getting a nice new gun that I hand-picked for you.\u201d

\u201cLove you too, Danny,\u201d Kono says, just as bright as ever. \u201cLook,\u201d she continues, sobering up. \u201cSteve made us promise<\/i> not to tell you. And truth be told, we\u2019re both still trying to process the whole thing.\u201d

\u201cProcess, what process?\u201d Danny says with a scowl. \u201cSteve got on a plane, he flew away, and then he\u2019ll come back and sit in your bedrooms to wake you up and scare you half to death because it\u2019s like a sport to him. There, you\u2019re processed.\u201d

There\u2019s a very long span of silence.

\u201c\u2026what did the lunkhead do?\u201d Danny asks with a sigh, brushing the curtains back from the window to make sure that Steve isn\u2019t back yet. He\u2019s a little bit scared, he won\u2019t lie. Steve has a habit of doing things, of saying \u2018I\u2019ll be back\u2019 and pulling grenades out of his<\/i> car (which is Steve\u2019s car now, seeing as Danny didn\u2019t want to bring it with him to San Diego).

\u201cWell,\u201d Kono draws out the word. \u201cChin is the new head of Five-O.\u201d

Danny can feel his heart clench and tighten, like the inevitable attack is coming now. \u201cWhat did he do?\u201d Danny growls.

\u201cHe quit,\u201d Chin says, finally speaking up. \u201cHe called the governor in order to transfer the task force to me, told us that we weren\u2019t to call you on threat of torture by extremely<\/i> bad music, and gave the keys to his father\u2019s house to Mary.\u201d

\u201cMary, what are you talking about, Mary, she\u2019s still here, we had dinner just the other night!\u201d Danny is starting to get ready to rant. By the time that Steve gets back, Danny\u2019s going to be in full explosion mode. \u201cOkay, okay,\u201d he says, taking a deep breath and working towards a kind of calm. \u201cI can handle this. I can handle Steve having a nervous breakdown and coming to my bedroom in the middle of the night. I am a professional with dealing with Steve\u2019s brand of crazy.\u201d

\u201cDanny, if it\u2019s any consolation, he\u2019s probably not going to kill you,\u201d Chin says.

\u201cYou\u2019re so helpful. I can barely count the ways in which you are being helpful except that I can and they are numbered on one hand, one,\u201d Danny deadpans. \u201cOkay, scram, shoo, get, he\u2019s coming back and you have bad guys to catch. Make sure you book \u2018em just for me.\u201d

\u201cWe wouldn\u2019t think of anything else,\u201d Kono promises. \u201cGood luck, Danny.\u201d

\u201cThanks, guys,\u201d Danny says softly, hanging up and sliding his phone back on the dresser.

Steve is coming back up the walk and Danny is steeling himself for a knock-down drag-out conversation with no victor and a lot of spoils. At the last minute, he looks at what he\u2019s been wearing \u2013 a white tank top and a well-worn pair of blue pajama pants \u2013 and throws on a button-down to try and make himself look just a little more presentable.

He\u2019s left the door unlocked and it\u2019s mere minutes before Steve comes inside and all of Danny\u2019s well-thought plans go down the drain.

\u201cYou quit your job,\u201d is all Danny can get out when Steve gets back to the bedroom. He\u2019d intended to start with something else. Maybe he\u2019d grab the food or maybe he\u2019d make small talk, but it\u2019s like the words have leapt out past his mouth before Danny could even do anything about it. \u201cFor me?\u201d That\u2019s what Danny\u2019s not exactly clear of.

\u201cDanny, listen\u2026\u201d

\u201cOh, this is gonna be good,\u201d Danny mutters under his breath.

\u201cI got shot.\u201d

\u201cYou got what<\/i>?\u201d Danny explodes. \u201cAre you kidding me? So not only did you quit your job, leave Hawaii, and practically scare the fuck out of me in the morning, you didn\u2019t call to tell me that you got shot! What\u2019s the matter with you!\u201d Danny shouts, smacking Steve upside the back of his head. \u201cI know it\u2019s been different without me there, but did you lose what\u2019s left of your mind? Is there that little sanity left that things like getting shot just slip away and get lost in the fabric of the universe like wayward socks and forgetting to call your grandmother on the weekend?\u201d

Steve looks a bit hurt, actually, but Danny\u2019s not backing down.

\u201cWhere did you get shot! When!\u201d

\u201cI got shot a week ago, it was just a through and through,\u201d Steve protests, his eyes widening with every word, like he thinks that looking like a puppy is gonna do something about Danny\u2019s mood.

He is sorely mistaken. Sorely<\/i> mistaken.

\u201cThing is, Danny, I was alone. I got shot and I was alone until the ambulance came and that\u2019s just not right. You were supposed to be there with me. You were supposed to use your stupid tie to try and stop the bleeding and then make a couple of jokes about how Superman can\u2019t die from a bullet, but I got sirens in the distance. I got a crushing and overwhelming blanket of silence,\u201d Steve says, putting the paper bag down on the table. \u201cThings haven\u2019t been right since you left. I haven\u2019t been right.\u201d

\u201cSteve, babe,\u201d Danny breaks in here, just to clarify. He waves a hand around, crossing his arms under his torso. \u201cNo offense, but I\u2019ve always had this sneaking suspicion that you have never<\/i> been right.\u201d

\u201cHawaii isn\u2019t right anymore and the last time that happened, I got on a plane and I left,\u201d Steve says, so full of calm and reason. Danny suspects that even in Steve\u2019s worst times, there is an ocean of calm just waiting to take over again. \u201cSo I made it right.\u201d

\u201cOkay,\u201d Danny says, quietly. He nods his head like there\u2019s a private beat he\u2019s setting it to. \u201cOkay.\u201d

\u201cOkay?\u201d

\u201cWe are gonna have a discussion sometime about proper greeting protocol,\u201d Danny says, starting to button up his shirt. \u201cBut yes, okay<\/i>.\u201d Steve grins and it\u2019s like the sun peeking out from behind the clouds, it\u2019s so bright and beautiful. He steps forward and takes hold of Danny\u2019s shirt for him, buttoning it up the rest of the way before smoothing his palm out over the front.

\u201cOkay,\u201d Steve says, chipper as anything.

Okay<\/i>, Danny breathes out one last time when Steve leaves the room and Danny is left to process this for himself.

*

Steve moves in that afternoon. There\u2019s no conversation about hotels. One minute Danny had a nice two-bedroom apartment and the next, Steve\u2019s moved his boxes into the storage space and made a groove for his ass in Danny\u2019s bed.

Danny should really have expected it, but he still feels a strangled sensation gripping him when he sees Steve walk into the precinct one day with two coffees in hand. He must go as pale as a sheet because Garcia is looking like he wants to get 911 on the phone to call an ambulance over. \u201cWilliams, you okay?\u201d

\u201cYeah, but, Garcia, remember all that stuff I told you about McGarrett?\u201d

\u201cYeah, the crazy ninja asshole with no regard for authority?\u201d

Danny lets out a choked laugh. He\u2019s got about five seconds before Steve\u2019s within hearing distance. \u201cYeah, so I never told you any of that. And uh, I might have neglected to fill in a couple of blanks on that report that I\u2019ll tell you about later,\u201d he says, rushing the last words to get them out.

He plasters a bright grin on his face and tries to act like this is normal for Steve to just be dropping in on him at work. \u201cDanno,\u201d Steve greets, handing him a coffee. \u201cIt\u2019s two milks and no sugar,\u201d he warns. Typically, Danny\u2019s coffee order runs closer to the lines of three creams, four sugars.

\u201cAw, come on,\u201d Danny gripes. \u201cSteve.\u201d

\u201cYou\u2019ve gained weight,\u201d Steve says sternly, setting Danny\u2019s coffee on his desk. \u201cAnd you already had a couple of pounds to take off around your waistline. It\u2019s an indicator of possible health problems, Danny.\u201d

\u201cJesus, next thing you know, you\u2019ll be calling my mother to get her on my ass about\u2026\u201d Danny trails off when he sees the guilty look on Steve\u2019s face. \u201cI swear to god, McGarrett, this is going to be the first exhibit in your murder trial.\u201d

He finally remembers Garcia, glancing back to see his new partner watching the back and forth with amusement.

\u201cWilliams, I think I got a read on those blanks,\u201d Garcia says with an apologetic shrug. He lifts himself out of his seat and leans forward, a hand extended to Steve. \u201cI\u2019m Anthony Garcia. I\u2019ve been trying to corral this man ever since you cut him loose from Hawaii.\u201d

Steve smiles that half-crooked grin and shakes Garcia\u2019s hand and Danny can already sense that this is going to go poorly. It\u2019s like Rachel and Steve all over again. Steve has basic social problems right up until the minute that someone is important in Danny\u2019s life. Then he\u2019s all perfect charm and handsome gentleman.

It\u2019s just so irritating<\/i> at the same time that it\u2019s kind of charming.

Danny somehow becomes a third wheel with two men who are his<\/i> partners. They talk about his life and shop-talk and Danny somehow ends up doing the paperwork for the last collar while Steve and Garcia laugh long and hard about old war stories.

And if Danny\u2019s not mistaken, there\u2019s even a conversation going on over there about \u2018book \u2018em, Danno\u2019. \u201cHey!\u201d Danny says sharply, looking up from where he\u2019s jabbing dots on the page to make sure the paperwork is all done. \u201cBoth of you, you need time apart and I need my partner.\u201d

Steve\u2019s off the desk before you can say \u2018AK-47\u2019 and Danny waves his pen in the air like it\u2019s a magic wand. \u201cNot you, idiot, my partner<\/i>,\u201d he says again with only a heavy amount of inflection to make the difference.

There\u2019s a real pinched look to Steve\u2019s face, but Garcia just flashes an apologetic smile and Danny steals back his partner before Steve can do something Steve-like<\/i> and convince Garcia to join a task-force or anything. \u201cWe\u2019re going to interrogate a suspect,\u201d Danny calls to Steve as they\u2019re leaving. \u201cDon\u2019t you have that class thing on the base?\u201d

\u201cYeah. Yeah, I do.\u201d Steve just sits there, perched on Danny\u2019s desk with his arms crossed. It tightens the polo shirt around his torso and makes Danny\u2019s gaze linger just a moment too long. \u201cI\u2019ll see you at home?\u201d

\u201cYeah,\u201d Danny confirms with a hand lifted in the air. He thanks Garcia for holding the door as he leaves and is so busy thinking about Steve in that shirt that he doesn\u2019t notice the unnatural silence between them for ten minutes. By then, he\u2019s all the way past wary. \u201cWhat?\u201d

\u201cIn all your stories, you didn\u2019t mention he was your person.\u201d

\u201cMy what?\u201d Danny scoffs. \u201cMy person? Is that the new ridiculous California thing? My person<\/i>? Steve is my pain in the ass, of course, sure, and occasionally he\u2019s good for a hostage situation seeing as he keeps a lot of weapons on him. And you know, the whole holding his breath thing can come in handy.\u201d

Garcia, fuck him, just smirks.

\u201cYou have a kid,\u201d Danny accuses. \u201cYou are going to hell for thinking what you just did!\u201d

\u201cHey, man, you have no proof I\u2019m thinking anything.\u201d

\u201cJust like any other day,\u201d Danny says, feeling smug that at least he got that in. Garcia shoves at his shoulder and they get in the Mustang to go hunt down their latest suspects for an interrogation.

Danny feels a little looser after that. It\u2019s like someone took the heavy boulder of tension from off his shoulders and pitched it far, far away. His zennish calm does not last long because scumbags are scumbags regardless of where in the world they are and two of their suspects are really impolite in their trying to shoot him to death.

By the time he and Garcia are ready to call it quits for the night, Danny has bloodstains on his shirt from the suspect, his vest has got frayed threads from getting stuck on rusty nails at the pier, and he is exhausted \u2013 flat out exhausted. He keeps touching the area on his neck where the bullet went by, unconvinced that he hasn\u2019t been shot, and gives Garcia a pitiful look.

\u201cGo home, man,\u201d Garcia says. \u201cI got this one. But you owe me next time.\u201d

\u201cI owe you everything in the world,\u201d Danny agrees, but he doesn\u2019t need anything more. \u201cYou can catch a ride?\u201d

\u201cI\u2019ll find a ride. Go home to your breathless wonder.\u201d

Danny reverses the Mustang expertly while flipping Garcia the finger. It\u2019s a talent no boy from New Jersey grows up without.

When Danny gets back to the apartment complex, he\u2019s a little surprised to see Steve is back from work earlier than usual. Danny\u2019s not sure if this is good news or if the world is about to end and Steve gets the night off as a result. He drops his keys in the bowl at the front hallway and wanders inside to find Steve setting the table for dinner. That, in and of itself, is a bit worrying. Steve doesn\u2019t tend to cook unless it\u2019s one of those \u2018fresh from the ocean\u2019 things, but here he is with plates and cooking and candles.

\u201c\u2026Steve? Is someone coming over that I don\u2019t know about?\u201d Danny asks, sliding his palm up his torso until he comes to the knot of his tie, loosening it with steady fingers.

Steve closes the distance between them and takes hold of Danny\u2019s hands with his own, prying them away from the tie. He replaces them quickly with his own, his breath ghosting past Danny\u2019s neck and becoming incredibly distracting.

\u201cIt\u2019s just us, Danny,\u201d Steve says, sliding his fingers deftly through the knot of the tie and prying it loose. \u201cYou looked happy<\/i> at work.\u201d

\u201cYeah, well, straight-up homicide cases put me in a groove,\u201d Danny says, standing his ground and not moving as Steve winds the fabric of the tie out from under the collar of his shirt, popping it up like he\u2019s some remnant of the eighties. \u201cI tell you we got a hundred percent solve rate, Garcia and I?\u201d

\u201cYou seem to work well together,\u201d Steve murmurs. The tie is wrapped around his palm, but he hasn\u2019t made a single move to step away.

Danny glances up and tries to read the temperature here. \u201cYeah, we do,\u201d he agrees, just a bit wary. \u201cYou jealous of that?\u201d He\u2019s not even trying to get a rise out of Steve. He genuinely can\u2019t tell if that stoic look on Steve\u2019s face is \u2018I\u2019m horrifyingly jealous of your new partnership\u2019 or \u2018I\u2019m glad to see you do so well at work\u2019 or maybe just \u2018maybe I should have put more garlic on the bread\u2019.

Steve smiles in such a calm way that Danny\u2019s thinking maybe somebody spiked his tea with drugs and that\u2019s why he\u2019s home so early. \u201cIt was weird to see at first,\u201d he says with a shrug. \u201cBut I\u2019m not jealous. Because you come home to me,\u201d Steve continues, sliding the tie down Danny\u2019s neck and starting to unbutton his shirt. He gets one, then two buttons off. He ought to stop where it\u2019s appropriate, but he keeps going for the third. \u201cI\u2019ve been waiting for the right time to broach this, but it always seems to slip away. Now that I know you\u2019re happy here, I think it\u2019s time.\u201d

Danny\u2019s heart is making a run for it. It\u2019s going to leap out of his chest and leave him a bloody and yammering mess.

\u201cYou live with me,\u201d Danny says, his voice low and throaty. Somehow, Steve has managed to find a way to close the distance between them, even though Danny would swear on his life that they were out of distance to close. \u201cSteve, you live with me and Grace is blocks away and she knows you\u2019re here. You make this into just a sex thing or you fly the coop when you get bored of me,\u201d Danny lectures in a patient and even tone. It\u2019s his \u2018I am so very serious about this that I can\u2019t even pretend to be angry\u2019 voice. \u201cIf you do that, I will have no problem calling the Governor of Hawaii and respectfully asking her to redact your ass.\u201d

Steve slides his palms down and unbuttons another of Danny\u2019s buttons, leaving only two between him and total shirtlessness.

\u201cYou\u2019re serious about this, huh?\u201d Danny breathes out.

\u201cI came here for you<\/i>,\u201d is all Steve needs to say for Danny to get with the program.

Danny just shoves at Steve to get him going in the direction of the bedroom. \u201cDinner\u2019s gonna be cold, babe,\u201d he announces, another tense vice on his chest seemingly released just like that. \u201cI got things I need to do to you. So many things, you have no idea.\u201d

*

Sometime over the last six months, Danny\u2019s life has been kidnapped all over again. He would\u2019ve said it was impossible to happen twice, but impossible is not a word that Steve McGarrett knows.

They get in the habit of having weekly dinners with Mary on the deck of their little apartment. Steve barbecues while Danny fetches drinks and it\u2019s a little bit like having family again. Mary\u2019s as good as his sister, he won\u2019t deny that. They\u2019re having one of those barbecues when Mary comes inside to help cook the side dishes with Danny. Steve is busy drinking beer and doing his thing outside with the grill.

\u201cI got this,\u201d Danny says with a look of confidence as he gestures to the spinach dip he\u2019s putting together. \u201cOld Williams family secret, we are good<\/i> with an oven and an apron.\u201d

\u201cYou\u2019ll have to show me pictures,\u201d Mary says with a slow smile. She casts a glance over her shoulder. \u201cI wanted to ask you something about Steve.\u201d

\u201cIs he a lost cause?\u201d Danny jumps right in without actually waiting for her to ask anything. \u201cYes, I\u2019m sorry, but your brother is always going to have an idiotically happy reaction to things going boom. We tried to find a cure, but he\u2019s too far gone.\u201d

Mary just rolls her eyes. \u201cYou\u2019re not as funny as you think you are.\u201d

\u201cThat is total bullshit, but go on,\u201d Danny encourages, a big grin on his face.

\u201cIs my brother happy?\u201d is what she has to ask.

And Danny, well, Danny\u2019s big goofy grin probably puts him in the doghouse of happiness more than it does Steve, but Danny likes to think that it does the trick of answering. It\u2019s enough for Mary, who comes around the kitchen island to nudge him with her hip and poke a finger into the dip before sucking it off.

\u201cNot bad,\u201d she says with approval. \u201cMaybe I\u2019ll tell Steve to keep you.\u201d

He nudges her right back and they spend the hour bake-time joking back and forth about her being taller than him, ties in California, and Steve\u2019s unfortunate hair in high school. No matter how the night varies, it always ends the same \u2013 the three of them tipsy, Danny and Steve sprawled out on the couch while Mary takes the chair, and with Steve\u2019s fingers absently stroking Danny\u2019s neck.

\u201cYou two are gross,\u201d she accuses, sticking out her tongue as she sprawls forward and puts an empty beer bottle on the table with eight others. Her hair falls messily over her shoulder as she levels a look at them.

Steve\u2019s fingers have progressed to stroking down Danny\u2019s back. Danny\u2019s exhausted from his day and the beer and his eyes aren\u2019t even staying open anymore.

\u201cYou\u2019re the one who wants me happy,\u201d Steve says, accusing her lazily.

\u201cYeah, but can\u2019t you wait til I go to bed?\u201d

She takes the guest room like she always does and the minute she closes the door, Steve gets that Look on his face that he always gets when he has a couple of beers in him and he has an idea. Danny doesn\u2019t even put up a fight anymore and just shakes his head.

\u201cDo what you\u2019re gonna do,\u201d Danny says.

Which is how he ends up pressed against the wall, legs wrapped around Steve\u2019s waist, gagged, and fucked by a man who has entirely<\/i> too much strength in his body for his own good.

When they\u2019re not entertaining Mary, they sometimes have Garcia and some of the guys from the department over. Somehow, along the way, the wives and partners started to come over with them. It\u2019s all Garcia\u2019s fault because he got one glimpse of Danny and Steve bickering over whether a sauce had to be refrigerated or not and said, \u201cNext time, I\u2019ll bring the wife.\u201d

It\u2019s a Friday when the kids come over with all the wives and their small apartment is so full of people that Danny\u2019s actually afraid he\u2019s going to step on someone\u2019s baby before he knows it. He escapes the wrath of his book club by getting back to the kitchen and clasping his hands together in prayer. \u201cSteven, beer me,\u201d he begs. \u201cI need a beer more than I have ever needed anything in my life, including that thing you did to me the other night.\u201d

Danny\u2019s learned that talking about sex in a public place makes Steve pull this really funny face that has a real effect on Danny\u2019s libido. It\u2019s both amusing and dangerous at once, but Danny knows he\u2019s gonna behave, what with fifteen people under their roof and most of them underage.

Steve has a quiet look of panic on his face, like all the noise and all people is leading them in a dangerous direction.

\u201cOkay, Steve, I know this is hard to believe,\u201d Danny says as he bends over to fish out a new bag of chips to put out. \u201cBut the toddler playing on the coffee table is not an assassin from the \u2018Stan that\u2019s here for you,\u201d Danny says, nodding his head. He bends over a little further, muttering to himself about salsa, which is when he feels his ass being grabbed. \u201cIf that\u2019s your sister, we need to have words.\u201d

\u201cDanny, downward dog is always gonna get you this kind of attention,\u201d says Steve, who is currently pressing the whole front of his torso to Danny\u2019s back and breathing the words out against his neck, lips pressed snugly just beneath his earlobe. \u201cBend with your knees.\u201d

\u201cWhat and not get this kinda treatment?\u201d Danny\u2019s pretty thrilled, to be perfectly honest. He straightens up, pressing a bottle of salsa into Steve\u2019s hands. \u201cWe got houseguests. You are disallowed from locking us in the bedroom.\u201d

When Steve opens his mouth, Danny flicks his forehead.

\u201cI wasn\u2019t going to say anything,\u201d Steve says heatedly.

\u201cI\u2019m sure I owed you one,\u201d Danny promises, snatching the salsa back and pressing a kiss on Steve\u2019s cheek. Just before he goes back out to feed the hungry masses, Steve remembers to hand him a beer and Danny feels this momentary lapse of judgment where he thinks he could forgive Steve a lot of things just for that.

The entertaining is good for them. It keeps them in the loop of things happening at the precinct and it\u2019s not so much of a secret that Steve and Danny live together and in addition to being former partners are also current partners<\/i>. Occasionally there\u2019s someone who\u2019ll put up a fuss, but Garcia\u2019s pretty aggressive when it comes to reminding those troublemakers that anyone who has a problem with Danny has a problem with the department.

The ugly rumor mill tends to die down for a while after Garcia gives his polite<\/i> reminders.

It doesn\u2019t hurt that Steve has his own work that comes with a hefty amount of respect. Steve spends his days on the Naval Base. He\u2019s thrown his hat into the ring to teach some of the more insane<\/i> courses they offer, but he also does his share of work for the country. Most of the time, Danny doesn\u2019t get more of an answer than, \u201cIt\u2019s classified,\u201d but Steve does things like let the papers slip slightly so that Danny can see the headings.

\u201cAre you seriously doing cryptography for the government?\u201d Danny finally breaks one night and asks when he finds Steve with a stack of papers in bed, glasses sitting low on his nose. \u201cSteven, what is this, the Cold War?\u201d

\u201cYour lack of knowledge about current affairs, frankly, scares me some days, Danny,\u201d Steve says distractedly, reaching over to pull the covers back and let Danny into bed with him. Danny gets in with his case files, wearing a full set of pajamas and a pair of socks, and props himself up with the pillows. \u201cAlso, it\u2019s classified.\u201d

\u201cI\u2019m gonna start doing shots for every time you tell me that,\u201d Danny warns. \u201cAnd then you\u2019re gonna pay for my liver transplant.\u201d

Danny shifts until he finds a spot that\u2019s comfortable, which mostly involves splaying out reports on Steve\u2019s hipbones and scribbling notes when he needs to. Every now and again Steve twitches and Danny has to hide a grin by ducking his head.

\u201cI\u2019m ticklish, okay?\u201d Steve says defensively.

\u201cI didn\u2019t say a word, Steve, I think it\u2019s adorable that your kryptonite is tickling. Good thing the bad guys in Honolulu didn\u2019t know that an overeager kitten could fell you,\u201d Danny says with a smirk, signing off on one more case file before stacking them on the dresser beside the bed. He steals Steve\u2019s work from him, prying his glasses off and putting those aside too. \u201cSleep,\u201d he insists, when Steve starts looking like he\u2019s expecting an amorous interruption. \u201cWe stayed up way<\/i> too late last night when you found my old high school pictures\u2026\u201d

\u201cI regret nothing.\u201d

\u201c\u2026and you have that thing in the morning, the deep-sea dive or whatever. Bed,\u201d Danny says again, a little sterner this time.

Steve looks like he\u2019s ready to launch one final protest and so Danny hauls out the big guns.

\u201cGo to bed and tomorrow when you come home on your freakish adrenaline high, we\u2019ll have sex and you can get me so riled up that I make our perfectly nice neighbors think we\u2019re ungodly heathens,\u201d he says.

Steve seems to take that as good enough because he settles down under the covers and slings an arm around Danny\u2019s torso to haul him closer. \u201cPromise?\u201d he asks suspiciously as though Danny\u2019s done this kind of thing before \u2013 twice, yes, admittedly.

\u201cYeah, Steve, swear on my glorious locks of hair,\u201d Danny agrees.

He leans over to turn the lamp off and gets settled right back into the space that Steve\u2019s left open for him. Being held captive by a Navy SEAL isn\u2019t exactly so bad when their favorite method of torture seems to be really clingy sleeping.

Danny can deal with that kind of sleep deprivation provided that he gets to kick Steve in the shins when he starts snoring. There are some things that no amount of love can let you forgive, and a night spent listening to a lumberjack sawing away is so beyond the boundaries, as far as Danny\u2019s concerned.

*

Danny gets home from seeing Grace and finds Steve waiting for him with a beer and a gentle smile on his face. Danny takes the beer, chugs half of it down, and lets his attention drift away at least for just a second. He hates<\/i> this feeling. He hates coming home and being away from Grace for another week. He\u2019s worked out new custody arrangements where he gets to see her one night a week in addition to every other weekend, but it still isn\u2019t enough.

\u201cYou know,\u201d Steve says, after the appropriate amount of time has passed and he knows that Danny is ready to talk. Danny wouldn\u2019t be surprised if somewhere hidden in their apartment, there is a half-started Danny Williams Manual that Steve pulls out to consult and contribute to on a constant basis. \u201cI think maybe I get a little bit of what you were feeling in Hawaii.\u201d

\u201cYeah?\u201d Danny\u2019s not even close to as drunk as he\u2019d like to be, so his confusion is purely because Steve isn\u2019t making any damn sense. \u201cHow\u2019s that?\u201d

\u201cI kind of hate Rachel.\u201d Danny\u2019s eyes widen and he\u2019s practically laughing because Steve, the man who wanted to have tea the very first time he met Danny\u2019s ex-wife, that very same man, is now professing to hate the woman.

This is gonna be good. \u201cYeah?\u201d Danny replies, bemused. \u201cWhy\u2019s that, babe?\u201d

\u201cI don\u2019t mean that I hate her. I don\u2019t. She\u2019s an incredible woman who raised a beautiful daughter.\u201d And there\u2019s the respectful Steve that Danny knows has just been lingering around the corner. \u201cBut I hate that she moved, because it means that she moved you with her.\u201d

Danny\u2019s starting to get it.

\u201cAnd I had to come after you.\u201d

There\u2019s a heavy pause now as Danny tries to calculate what the next move is. He could roll with this and continue on a casual note. He could pull out a couple new beers and commiserate about just how much Rachel can make their lives hell because she\u2019s loyal to her new husband. The thing is, Danny thinks, the thing is that he has to stop and think about this for a minute because the issue is a lot deeper than just \u2018man, can Rachel suck and I\u2019m not talking about the good way, although\u2026\u2019

Danny leans forward, pressing his palms on his thighs and splaying his fingers out. \u201cSteve, you didn\u2019t have to follow me.\u201d Danny hadn\u2019t been anything more than a partner on the verge of something else. It\u2019s not exactly<\/i> the same situation as Danny and Grace.

Steve didn\u2019t have to follow Danny across the ocean. But he did anyway and that says so much without even putting anything into words.

\u201cDanny, ask Chin and Kono sometime,\u201d Steve says, so sober, so serious, so Steve<\/i> that it practically places a pain in Danny\u2019s chest that he thinks he can only make go away by kissing Steve as hard as he can. \u201cAsk them what happened when you left.\u201d

\u201cI\u2019m guessing,\u201d Danny says, his tone light in an attempt to keep the mood up, \u201cI\u2019m guessing maybe you were a pain in everyone\u2019s ass. I\u2019m guessing you probably shot someone that you shouldn\u2019t have shot. And I\u2019m guessing you tried to use my absence to put new policies into effect that everyone hates. People need coffee in the morning, Steve, you can\u2019t just ban coffee!\u201d

\u201cIn the quantities that the rest of you drank in, yes I could,\u201d Steve says with that serious and determined look on his face. \u201cYou would have lived longer if I got my way.\u201d

\u201cNo coffee bans,\u201d Danny says sharply. \u201cBut yeah, Steve, I\u2019m guessing you weren\u2019t a real peach to live with.\u201d He debates his next move here and in the end, he thinks that the only way this is going to work is if he goes with total honesty. \u201cListen, babe,\u201d Danny says, turning on the couch so he\u2019s facing Steve. \u201cThat feeling\u2019s not gonna go away, so I\u2019m about to give you some advice. Be a normal human being and nod right now so I can pretend you\u2019re at least listening.\u201d

Steve nods -- good boy<\/i> -- and Danny is at least slightly assuaged.

\u201cOne day, you\u2019re gonna wake up and realize that if you don\u2019t figure out what to do with all those, those feelings,\u201d he says, balling his hands up tight in a shadow mimicry of the anger he used to feel, \u201cthen it\u2019s just gonna devour you whole. So one day I realized that I\u2019m the one who made the choice. I chose to come after Grace and yeah, it makes me a good dad, it makes me a great dad,\u201d he allows. \u201cBut it still means I chose. I chose it, Steve. Wasn\u2019t Rachel\u2019s fault for moving on. She just got there first.\u201d

So now, now comes the part that involves Steve.

\u201cLook, Steve,\u201d Danny says. \u201cI know your life was pretty shitty when I left, but you still chose to come out here. And I\u2019m giving you the option to go back. I am not that kind of girl, Steve McGarrett, that\u2019s gonna cry if you go. I will not shed a single tear because, quite frankly, I am sure you\u2019ve made a dozen girls cry in your lifetime because your special hunk-love wasn\u2019t bestowed upon them and I refuse to contribute to that.\u201d

Steve is getting a pinched look on his face and he mouths \u2018hunk-love\u2019 very slowly. Danny\u2019s going to lose the point if he doesn\u2019t hustle to get it back on track.

\u201cWhat I am saying!\u201d he says, using his hands, \u201cis that you are not bound here by me. You get to choose now, McGarrett, just like I chose to accept that I\u2019m the one who followed Grace to Hawaii. Your call.\u201d

Steve purses his lips and his attention veers sideways, away from Danny. He watches Steve warily, not sure what\u2019s going to happen next, and while he might have just given Steve an out, he is practically begging with the whole universe that Steve does not actually take<\/i> it.

\u201cIs trash day tomorrow?\u201d is all Steve asks.

Danny\u2019s eyes bug-out, go wide, and he must have missed the rest of the conversation. He is sure that Steve hit him on the head and he\u2019s just gone unconscious and he has actually missed all the subjects that bridged the gap between Rachel and trash-day. \u201cCome again?\u201d

\u201cTrash day,\u201d is all Steve says. \u201cTomorrow?\u201d

\u201cWe are having a serious discussion!\u201d Danny shouts, aware that they\u2019ve had complaints from the neighbors already \u2013 Danny\u2019s been at fault twice with sex and arguing and Steve had accidentally blown the oven door off during an experiment. \u201cYou are supposed to make a decision now and then tell me because that is what people in relationships do!\u201d

Unless you\u2019re Danny and Rachel and have effectively pioneered a system of glares. He doesn\u2019t know that it\u2019ll work with him and Steve. It\u2019s very hard to learn when not at a young age.

\u201cDanny,\u201d Steve says in that way he has, that \u2018I got this<\/i>,\u2019 tone that makes people trust him. \u201cI decided. I decided a long time ago. Now, seriously, trash day. We\u2019ve missed the last few weeks because you\u2019ve forgotten\u2026\u201d

\u201cOh, I\u2019ve forgotten, I\u2019ve<\/i> forgotten, I\u2019m the one who\u2019s been doing stakeouts all night, not sleeping in our cushy bed and able to put the trash out leisurely in the\u2026\u201d

\u201cBecause it\u2019s going to start smelling, Danny! And that\u2019s how we\u2019ll get pests\u2026\u201d

\u201cAnd let me tell you something, I am the one who took it out last time. I remember because I got a lot of comments from our nice elderly neighbor about how I need to wear more clothes out if I intend to meet people along the way. Did you know that apartment etiquette, Steve? Because I didn\u2019t, I did not know my house robe was not good enough for old Mrs. O\u2019Leary next door.\u201d

\u201cShe bakes me cookies,\u201d Steve says smugly. \u201cShe says I\u2019m a perfect example of a young gentleman and you can learn from me.\u201d

\u201cOf course she does,\u201d Danny says with a sigh. He waits just a moment, just one, for the dust to settle and the teasing to fall by the wayside. He leans forward and nudges Steve\u2019s knee with his knuckles. \u201cYou\u2019re sure about this? You made your choice?\u201d

\u201cYeah,\u201d Steve says with a nod. \u201cYeah, I did. Danno, it took me four months to make sure it was the right one, but I don\u2019t have a single doubt in my heart. I made my choice.\u201d

Danny doesn\u2019t need any more convincing than that.

*

This week, Danny gets Grace on a Tuesday night.

She\u2019s finished her homework and has eaten every last green from off her plate \u2013 Steve cooked, which means it\u2019s a salmon and broccoli kind of night. Danny\u2019s just finished putting her to bed in the guest room and sits beside her, his palm stroking her hair, unable to leave without lingering.

She\u2019s his baby girl and one day she\u2019s gonna grow up and he\u2019s barely going to recognize her anymore, but right now on this Tuesday night, she\u2019s his and that\u2019s all that matters. He closes the door gently behind himself and walks down the hall to see what Steve\u2019s up to \u2013 if Steve\u2019s up to anything dangerous or if he\u2019s decided today is when he reveals his plan to take over the western half of the states.

Steve looks relatively harmless. In that he\u2019s got Danny\u2019s cell phone in hand and is just talking away.

Danny arches a brow and mouths, \u2018Who is it?\u2019 and of all the people it could\u2019ve been, Danny didn\u2019t expect for Steve to whisper, \u201cYour mother,\u201d back at him. And they\u2019re off, Danny\u2019s heart rate accelerating into panic and beads of sweat forming on his upper lip. He hasn\u2019t exactly come around to mentioning to his mother that his live-in ex-partner has become something of a serious boyfriend to him.

He\u2019s been waiting for an opportune moment. Maybe Christmas when everyone has drank too much and his sisters are shouting at each other about what they want to do for New Years. Yeah, Danny\u2019s thinking that\u2019d be the perfect time.

\u201cSteven,\u201d Danny commands sharply. \u201cSteven, give up the phone. Steven John McGarrett, you will not<\/i> like the unholy retribution that will rain down on you if you don\u2019t\u2026\u201d Somehow, he ends up standing on the couch and smacking Steve on the back of his head, snatching the phone in the melee.

\u201c\u2026but Danny\u2019s been overprotective with his sisters since high school\u2026\u201d

\u201cMa, it\u2019s okay, you can stop lying to Steve, I\u2019m here,\u201d Danny says, glaring right back at Steve \u2013 who has decided to turn his hurt puppy glare on Danny. It doesn\u2019t work, it doesn\u2019t work at all, and Danny is not going to feel so guilty later that he\u2019ll probably give Steve an Apology Blowjob. He swats at Steve to make him go away so he can at least have a decent conversation with his mother.

\u201cDaniel, sometimes I worry about you,\u201d is the first thing his mother says to him.

As far as the Williams family goes, it\u2019s not even that hefty a guilt-inducer. There\u2019s just been so much worse.

\u201cSteve tells me that you nearly got shot.\u201d

\u201cNearly<\/i>! Nearly, Ma, focus on the nearly,\u201d Danny practically howls in his defense before he remembers just how close Grace is and the last thing he needs is to wake her up. \u201cSteve worries too much, next thing you know he\u2019s going to start throwing salt over his shoulder just in case, just in case, and this is a Navy SEAL. If a Navy SEAL is throwing salt to ward away demons, I am not living with said SEAL anymore.\u201d

\u201cSo then things are going well?\u201d

Danny pauses and watches as Steve finally gives up on getting the cell phone back. He roams around the apartment tidying up and putting away the cupcakes they\u2019d had for dessert. He\u2019s wearing yoga pants that make his ass look, frankly, fantastic<\/i> and a long-sleeved Naval Intelligence sweatshirt.

\u201cYeah, I mean, they\u2019re not half bad,\u201d Danny admits. \u201cMe and Garcia busted a drug ring,\u201d he boasts proudly. \u201cEven got my picture in the paper. I mailed a copy to you and Dad, and this time, no spelling mistakes,\u201d he goes on, something warm pooling in his chest as he watches Steve glance back over his shoulder and smile proudly in Danny\u2019s direction. \u201cYou okay there? Dad okay?\u201d

\u201cYour father needs something to occupy his time. He\u2019s bored.\u201d

\u201cMa, I think he\u2019s just enjoying his retirement. Let the man be! So what he\u2019s not working all the time anymore, it\u2019s good for him, it\u2019s good for the both of you. I mean, maybe, maybe you should start thinking about taking a trip out here,\u201d Danny suggests, looking down the hallway like he\u2019s already doing the math on where everyone will stay.

Now that he\u2019s said it, he wants it. He wants it more than he\u2019s wanted anything since he wanted Steve with him (and he got that). He wants his father to see the good work he\u2019s doing and he wants both his parents to see how big Grace has gotten. He wants Steve to be able to shake his father\u2019s hand and Danny wants to tell his mother that he thinks he\u2019s done<\/i> and that second time\u2019s the charm.

\u201cWe\u2019d love to come out and see you, Danny,\u201d his Mom says in that soft and hushed way that comes when Danny does something surprising. The last time he heard her sound like that, he\u2019d bought her a dozen bouquets of roses for Mother\u2019s Day. \u201cYou wouldn\u2019t mind?\u201d

Steve has finished unloading the dishwasher and comes back to the living room, standing in front of Danny \u2013 who has yet to move from his position, standing on the couch cushions. Steve just looks at him in that unyielding way that says he wants to know everything about the situation \u2013 the man is secretly a gossip whore who hides it behind Naval training, Danny is convinced<\/i>.

\u201cNo, Ma,\u201d Danny says, soft as anything as he reaches his free hand out and cups Steve\u2019s cheek with it, brushing the line of his jaw once before letting that palm slide down Steve\u2019s neck. He presses it atop his heart and just lets it rest there. \u201cMe and the family,\u201d he says, not taking his gaze away from Steve\u2019s for a single moment.

Get this<\/i>, he wills. Understand this<\/i>.

\u201cMe and the family, we want you here.\u201d

He knows the conversation goes on past that. They talk about New Jersey and he gives them updates about Grace and they all say their \u2018I love you\u2019s, but Danny\u2019s pretty sure it all passes in a haze. Steve\u2019s only moved so far as to sit down beside Danny on the couch and when Danny finally says goodbye \u2013 for the third time, his Mom has a tendency to bring up cousins and their updates at the last minute \u2013 he pries the cell phone away.

\u201cThe family?\u201d Steve says as he shifts their bodies, sliding until Danny is on his back and Steve is comfortably straddling him. \u201cI didn\u2019t know you and Rachel were doing that well.\u201d

Danny just laughs.

He laughs. And then he laughs some more, and when Steve starts getting a hurt look on his face, Danny kisses him while the laughter bubbles past his lips. \u201cGod, Steve, you\u2019re so lucky that you\u2019re an attractive<\/i> idiot,\u201d is all Danny has to say to him. \u201cYou\u2019re my family, too,\u201d he reminds him of what he once said in an airport so very far away.

Steve closes the distance between them and on a Tuesday night, Danny knows<\/i> that whatever he might have done in his life, he did something very right to get him to this.

And he knows that second time\u2019s the charm.

THE END","comments":"https:\/\/andrealyn.livejournal.com\/1500082.html?view=comments#comments","category":["pairing: steve\/danny","fiction: hawaii 5-0"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/andrealyn.livejournal.com\/1496113.html","pubDate":"Wed, 16 Feb 2011 01:29:23 GMT","author":"andrealyn","link":"https:\/\/andrealyn.livejournal.com\/1496113.html","description":"

*

When Steve wakes on what should be early Friday morning, he feels dizzy and sick all over again. This time, he can place his surroundings. He\u2019s back at the docks where they tracked Rodriguez\u2019s allies to and he\u2019s lying face-up to the sky, his head throbbing like he\u2019s just been hit with a baseball bat. Which, as he strains to recall, is exactly what happened.

\u201cSteve,\u201d Danny \u2013 one of three Danny\u2019s \u2013 is saying. \u201cWelcome back to the world of living. I\u2019m telling you, you\u2019re crazy lucky our little friend here is no Babe Ruth and that his swing is about as intimidating as Grace\u2019s football offensive maneuvers.\u201d

Steve groans heavily and rubs at the back of his head as he sits up. \u201cDanny,\u201d he gets out, his throat feeling a bit like something had crawled in there and died.

\u201cYeah? I\u2019m here.\u201d

\u201cDanny,\u201d is all Steve says again as he reaches out and grasps at Danny\u2019s left hand, fingers searching over his palm and fingers, spanning the width of it and rubbing his thumb over the long, lean lines of his bare fingers. Every single one of them is bare.

No ring.

\u201cYou took a mean hit to the head, boss,\u201d Kono says worriedly as she leans over Danny\u2019s shoulder, both her hands on those broad and steady shoulders. Those steady shoulders that Steve had been gripping onto hard enough to bruise when Danny straddled him and Steve got him off \u2013 in a reality Steve made up in his mind.

Great<\/i>.

Like he needs this kind of worry about his mental state.

\u201cRebecka is safe,\u201d Chin says, snapping his phone shut as he joins the fray and peers down over Kono and Danny \u2013 Danny, who is still kneeling over him, who hasn\u2019t loosened Steve\u2019s grip on his hand, who is looking at him with kindness and worry and Steve has never wanted to kiss him more than he does in that moment. \u201cHPD has got her in protective custody and she\u2019s thinking about taking a trip home. Apparently, island life doesn\u2019t suit her.\u201d

\u201cBrilliant woman, that one,\u201d Danny says. \u201cMaybe I should follow her example.\u201d

\u201cDon\u2019t,\u201d Steve says, firmly, tightening his grip on Danny\u2019s hand.

\u201cOkay, ow,\u201d Danny says mildly. \u201cFirst off, ow. And second, what\u2019s gotten into you? It\u2019s a joke<\/i>. We joke about things and then we laugh. Calm down, Steve, I\u2019m not going anywhere. Grace is here, I\u2019m not leaving until she does.\u201d

\u201cDon\u2019t,\u201d Steve repeats. \u201cEven then.\u201d

\u201cOkay, I\u2019m thinking maybe you got hit harder than we thought. C\u2019mon, Smooth Dog, let\u2019s get you up to the ambulance and get you all checked out by the nice doctors,\u201d Danny says with a smile, tipping his gaze upwards to squint in Kono\u2019s direction. \u201cI got McGarrett, if you two can deal with the perps.\u201d

\u201cOn it,\u201d Chin assures, clapping Danny on the shoulder and prying Kono\u2019s hand off at the same time \u2013 which is roughly the same moment in which Chin had noticed that Steve has a laser-like focus on Kono\u2019s hands touching Danny.

There are only two Dannys, now, but Steve is still thinking that\u2019s a bad thing. He tries to sit up and he manages, but it\u2019s too fast because now he feels like he\u2019s about to be sick all over Danny.

\u201cWhoa,\u201d Danny says, steadying Steve by the shoulders. \u201cOkay, Superman, I get that you think that you have a higher-than-average healing rate, but I guarantee that you cannot automatically heal from a concussion that quickly. Let the nice doctors tell you that if you don\u2019t trust me, but the last thing I need is you puking all over me.\u201d

Danny slides his arm around Steve\u2019s torso and brings him to his feet, steadying him as they sway in the direction of the ambulance. Steve feels instantly assured.

Danno\u2019s got him.<\/i>

They make it to the hospital without issue and Steve even convinces Danny to leave him alone while he gets checked out by the ER doctor. It\u2019s not a relative of Chin\u2019s, but Steve experiences the strangest d\u00e9j\u00e0-vu he\u2019s ever had in his life as he receives the very same diagnosis he got before, except then he was heading back to a full home and a waiting caregiver.

As it stands, he heads to the nurse\u2019s desk and arranges for a room to recuperate in. \u201cSo long as I can pick up a few things first,\u201d he says. \u201cMy partner will drive,\u201d he adds, jutting a thumb over his shoulder in Danny\u2019s direction.

It\u2019s almost like something\u2019s taken root. It\u2019s almost like Steve is being cautious<\/i> for a Danny that doesn\u2019t exist outside of a hallucination by doing something so simple as not driving when he\u2019s hurt.

The little voice that resides in his mind (and sounds a little like Mary) taunts him by reminding Steve that the Danny he\u2019s trying to be safe for isn\u2019t so different from the one watching him with a suspicious look. Steve excuses himself to head to the washroom just before they leave, rubbing his fingers over the bump on his head and staring at his reflection in the mirror a minute too long, trying to reconcile who he is with who he\u2019d thought he was.

When he can\u2019t merge the two, he gives up and heads back out to the hall to find Danny waiting for him. Steve nods, just the once, in the direction of the parking garage. \u201cYou parked up there?\u201d

\u201cNah, I ran home while you were getting checked out,\u201d Danny says, gesturing to the front doors. \u201cFlashed my badge and told them Steve McGarrett authorized me to park in the emergency lane.\u201d

\u201cYou\u2019re abusing your privileges,\u201d Steve says, but he can\u2019t help but be amused at the same time as he feels a tightening in his chest. Danny is doing this for him<\/i>. This Danny and the other Danny are not that far apart.

Danny just grins at him, like the sun parting through the clouds on a rainy day. \u201cWhat can I say, I\u2019m learning from your example.\u201d The tightness refuses to vanish and Steve tries not to stare.

Instead, he goes through the motions. He feels a bit ginger again, like all those days of healing never happened. He didn\u2019t miss the heavy ache in his head and now that it\u2019s back, he wants to drug it gone once more.

It\u2019s about halfway through the drive that Steve notices that Danny\u2019s backseat is stuffed to the brim.

Steve spends the entire trip back to his place staring at Danny and the bags in the backseat in turns. It\u2019s admittedly slightly blurry, but he\u2019s pretty sure that he agreed to twenty-four hour supervision in the hospital, but he\u2019s in Danny\u2019s car and they\u2019re going to Steve\u2019s place and Danny has packed the mother of all overnight bags.

\u201cOkay,\u201d Steve bites, when he can\u2019t take it anymore. \u201cI told them I\u2019d check myself in. Why have you packed for the weekend?\u201d

\u201cAnd after you were finished being a big martyr, I told the doctor I\u2019d give you at-home care so you don\u2019t contribute to the stress-rates of at least a dozen nice nurses and perfectly good doctors,\u201d Danny replies almost instantly, clutching the wheel and watching the road. He almost looks like he\u2019s relishing getting the chance to drive his car again. \u201cInstead, you got me, babe.\u201d

Something hot and heavy settles in Steve\u2019s chest and he doesn\u2019t think it has anything to do with the physical injury.

He\u2019s just spent almost a week in his own head living out some misguided fantasy. It had to be that, or was it something else? His grandparents always taught him to respect culture and tradition, to never spit on lore and legend, but it\u2019s crazy<\/i> to think that Danny\u2019s off-the-cuff wish in front of Rebecka could be tied to a hallucinatory dream he had while passed out.

Steve\u2019s sticking by that, lest rationality fails him and he really has no idea what to think of the whole thing.

What Danny is saying finally catches up to him and Steve immediately realizes the severity of this bad idea.

\u201cNo.\u201d

\u201cNo, what?\u201d

\u201cNo, you can\u2019t stay with me.\u201d Steve is coping with memories of some alternate time in his life in which he had really felt happy and things hadn\u2019t even been that different. Now, Danny is just going to keep plowing forward like he can force his hand back into that, even if he doesn\u2019t have the slightest idea that it happened. \u201cDanny, just drop me off at home and call a nurse.\u201d

\u201cYou got Nurse Williams. Deal,\u201d Danny says, starting to sound really tetchy.

Steve tightens his fist into a frustrated ball, but lets it go when he knows from experience that Danny\u2019s like a dog with a bone and the chances of him giving this up are slim to none. He releases the tension in his fist and sighs heavily.

\u201cIs that you letting it go?\u201d

\u201cDann-yes<\/i>, this is me letting it go,\u201d Steve agrees, interrupting Danny before he can go on too much long. \u201cJust drive, okay?\u201d he says bluntly.

It\u2019s not far before they arrive at Steve\u2019s house and he even stubbornly helps Danny with the bags, tersely explaining that a bump to his head does not mean all the functioning muscles in his arms and legs are out of commission.

\u201cI will knock you on the head one more time,\u201d Danny threatens when Steve tries to carry all of them. \u201cReally,\u201d he goes on, a snide tone in his voice. \u201cI will just beat you senseless and tie you down to the bed until you recuperate from this lifelong insanity<\/i> you seem to be suffering from.\u201d

Steve really wishes that his body didn\u2019t find it promising<\/i> to imagine Danny tying him down and having his way with him. He\u2019s fairly sure that Danny doesn\u2019t mean it in that way.

He puts his mind to ignoring it and sets Danny\u2019s things in the guest room, taking his time in walking through the house, cataloguing each difference for the second time in a week. He isn\u2019t sure, yet, whether or not to tell Danny about what happened. If he\u2019s going to tell anyone, it\u2019ll be Five-O and it\u2019ll be Danny first, but that\u2019s only if he chooses not to keep it to himself.

He keeps the thought at the back of his mind as he moves from room to room, inspecting each corner with the precision and tactics of an elite Navy SEAL. Everything is methodical and sharp. While he searches, Danny shouts up at him that he\u2019s grilling dinner and Steve is just going to have to live with the results.

It\u2019s the smallest thing that makes Steve falter. It\u2019s when he looks to the mantle and there isn\u2019t a picture of the two of them and Grace and he can only feel as if it\u2019s missing. There\u2019s a part of his life and it\u2019s missing.

\u201cDanny,\u201d Steve calls out, trying to get him back from making dinner. \u201cCan I talk to you for a second?\u201d

He hears swearing in the kitchen, but Danny\u2019s in the living room in seconds, sucking on his thumb.

\u201cWhat did you do?\u201d Steve asks, vaguely bemused.

\u201cNothing, your oven is a menace,\u201d is Danny\u2019s instant reply. \u201cWhat is it, does your head hurt? Are you dizzy? Do you want to go back to the hospital?\u201d

\u201cDanny, breathe,\u201d Steve says, trying to coax calm into his partner, like Danny\u2019s the one that got injured and not Steve. \u201cI\u2019m fine. At least, I think I am.\u201d

\u201cYou think you are,\u201d Danny echoes. \u201cThat doesn\u2019t inspire the highest of confidences, babe.\u201d

Things like that are what make Steve falter. He can clearly see Danny and sees the lack of a ring. He sees no evidence to support a belief in his being with Danny, but the way they act hasn\u2019t changed except for a distinct lack of a sex life.

And yes, okay, so Steve doesn\u2019t like it.

\u201cWhen I first got hit, before I came around,\u201d Steve starts to explain very slowly. \u201cI had a brief\u2026experience.\u201d

\u201cExperience?\u201d Danny says. \u201cAre we talking white light here or born again?\u201d

\u201cI\u2019m talking the world was exactly like it was supposed to be except that you and I stopped dancing around the pink elephant that\u2019s sitting between us.\u201d Steve\u2019s not an idiot. He\u2019s caught the way Danny looks at him sometimes. He hears the fondness in his tone, he knows that Danny doesn\u2019t have to keep letting him drive his car.

Steve\u2019s just never seen fit to talk about it because the risk was too high.

The keen tightness in his chest and the itch under his skin is convincing him very quickly that it\u2019s well-worth the risk. \u201cDanny, I woke up and we were married.\u201d

That seems to be funny. It seems to be very funny if the way Danny is practically bent over laughing is any indication.

\u201cI\u2019m glad this is funny for you!\u201d Steve almost shouts, his patience already burning on a short fuse.

Danny rights himself and he\u2019s still grinning like a maniac. \u201cYou woke up and we were married. Jesus, McGarrett, what else is new?\u201d

\u201cNo, I mean,\u201d Steve says heatedly, taking a deep breath to calm himself down. \u201cI mean, really, actually together. Pictures of you and Grace all over the house, shared bed, rings,\u201d he says. \u201cIt was all a crazy hallucination, I know,\u201d he hurries to add, so Danny doesn\u2019t think he\u2019s gone off the deep end. \u201cBut it got me to thinking.\u201d

\u201cAre you about to get down on one knee?\u201d Danny asks, deadpan.

Sometimes, Steve wonders how he came to be half in love with this idiot, he really does.

\u201cDanny,\u201d Steve announces with a long look at the man, \u201cI\u2019m surprised my other self hadn\u2019t killed you yet.\u201d Somehow, Danny is grinning broader than before at all this, as if Steve isn\u2019t insulting him to his face, \u201cAnd you\u2019re lucky that you were good in bed in my head\u2026\u201d

\u201cWhoa, hey\u2026\u201d

\u201cBecause otherwise, I might strangle you. Again.\u201d

\u201cSteven, your hallucinatory state sounds like it was a real party,\u201d Danny says, now with a hefty amount of appreciation inherent in the words. \u201cWhat exactly were you doing to me in there?\u201d he asks, tapping Steve on the temple with two fingers.

Steve remains stoic and silent.

\u201cAh,\u201d Danny says helpfully. \u201cI see.\u201d

\u201cDanny, we had a life,\u201d is what Steve tries to get back to. All he knows is that sometimes he catches Danny looking at him. It might not mean anything, but if they don\u2019t talk about it, then they\u2019ll never know. \u201cAnd sometimes, here, I think about the same thing. I mean, then you do something like get crumbs everywhere or you mock the Navy\u2026\u201d

\u201cTopic,\u201d Danny cuts him off.

\u201cLook, Danny, I\u2019m saying that I have a thing for you,\u201d Steve says bluntly. \u201cAnd I was happy to let it go to the grave until I got hit on the head and my mind concocted up a life that I wanted. And turns out, it\u2019s the kind of life that would make me just perfectly content<\/i>. So here\u2019s what I\u2019m asking. Are you in or are you out?\u201d

\u201cAm I in or am I\u2026\u201d

\u201cYeah,\u201d Steve agrees.

\u201cOkay, let me explain something for you,\u201d Danny says, crossing his arms over his torso. He\u2019s got a pinched look on his face, like he\u2019s having one of Steve\u2019s aneurysms for him. \u201cYou do not get to just bulldoze over a guy with \u2018are you in or are you out\u2019 before even listening to his side of the story. Huh? Huh! What if I didn\u2019t have a thing for you back, huh?\u201d

Steve can practically feel the hope lifting the corners of his lips upwards.

\u201cOh, sweet merciful Lord\u2026\u201d Danny sighs.

\u201cYou have a thing for me back,\u201d Steve says, like this is it \u2013 evidence is in, case closed. He might even be feeling just slightly smug and he\u2019s sure that Danny, perceptive as the man is, might have noticed that.

Danny is pinching the bridge of his nose. \u201cLet it be known that I am not yet sure whether my thing<\/i> for you is entirely devoid of Stockholm Syndrome influences.\u201d

\u201cDanny,\u201d Steve says, still smiling away like an idiot.

\u201cSteven,\u201d Danny replies back, really forming that gorgeous mouth around the words. \u201cYes, fine, I have a\u2026thing<\/i> for your crazy ass. But I\u2019m not the one dreaming up wedding color arrangements!\u201d he accuses.

\u201cIn my concussion dream, Grace did it for us,\u201d is Steve\u2019s helpful reply.

He\u2019s almost entirely sure that\u2019s the right thing to say when Danny closes the distance between them and slides his palm around Steve\u2019s neck to bring him close. \u201cYou\u2019re a goof,\u201d is what Danny breathes out quietly, \u201cbut I\u2019ve come to accept that at least you\u2019re my<\/i> goof.\u201d He proceeds to kiss Steve and it\u2019s like a first kiss all over, except this time Steve knows that he\u2019s both in his right mind and in the rightful place.

Danny pulls back and they share something of a dazed and \u2013 dare he say it \u2013 dopey grin.

\u201cCome on, you\u2019re injured and I\u2019m making you dinner. The doctor says rest, you rest!\u201d Danny orders, his voice already ascending the scales to higher frustration and further anger. \u201cDon\u2019t make me pull out all the tricks.\u201d

Steve goes willingly to the couch and allows Danny to fully mother-hen him under the knowledge and good news that Danny Williams wants him right back.

\u201cHey, Danny,\u201d Steve murmurs groggily when dinner has hit the spot and he\u2019s on the verge of falling asleep. \u201cAbout this morning\u2026\u201d

They\u2019re sprawled out on the sofa with Danny\u2019s arm slung comfortably over Steve\u2019s shoulders as they watch baseball on Steve\u2019s satellite television.

\u201cWhat? What about this morning? Was it the part you were an idiot or the part where some guy with a bat brained you?\u201d

\u201cThe first part,\u201d Steve says, fighting past the cotton-mouthed feeling the drugs are giving him. \u201cI have,\u201d he struggles to get out, \u201ca remarkable amount of respect and consideration for you. Just so you know. I always consider you before my actions.\u201d

\u201cAnd you\u2019re a maniac anyway,\u201d Danny laments with a shake of his head. \u201cWell, I guess beggars can\u2019t be choosers and someone\u2019s gotta keep you from going the whole nine yards off the edge.\u201d He rubs his thumb idly at Steve\u2019s shoulder and it\u2019s like magic in releasing pent-up tension. Steve relaxes into Danny\u2019s good hands and smiles as Danny starts in on yet another rant.

He closes his eyes and lets the constancy of Danny\u2019s voice lull him to sleep, aware that he\u2019ll pay for it in the morning, but finding that he\u2019s almost looking forward to it.

*

It takes weeks before Steve comes back to the Rodriguez case files. Since then, they\u2019ve put away smugglers, murderers, and dealt with a particularly gruesome arson case. They\u2019ve all been good distractions, but Steve can\u2019t ignore the one that set his world askew any longer.

\u201cDid you ever ask her what the dolls were?\u201d Steve asks distractedly as he brushes his thumb against the computer screen and takes his time looking through the pictures.

Danny is hovering nearby with a cup of coffee. It\u2019s before ten and Danny\u2019s belief is that the day doesn\u2019t start until coffee is had and his brain cells perk up. He drifts past Steve like a phantom presence, fingers brushing Steve\u2019s back every now and then.

\u201cWha\u2026?\u201d

\u201cEarth to Danny,\u201d Steve summons. \u201cI know it\u2019s still coffee time, but in the civilized world, people are awake by this time of day.\u201d

\u201cI\u2019m not the fucker who kept me up all night doing lewd things to my person,\u201d Danny says with a grumble.

\u201cYou\u2019re doing the words thing again,\u201d Steve says. \u201cDanny, the dolls. What did Rebecka say about them?\u201d Steve had watched them for days and it would\u2019ve been impossible to miss the way Danny took to the witness. Of course<\/i> he would\u2019ve asked about the dolls. He\u2019s a good detective and a better man. Of course he would have asked.

\u201cThey\u2019re supposed to be some personification of a wishing thing. You know, like shooting stars or whatever,\u201d Danny says, perching his ass on the edge of the table. \u201cYou buy a doll, you make a wish, you cherish it tight and it\u2019s supposed to come true. I don\u2019t know, I think it\u2019s almost sweet.\u201d

\u201cShe gave you one.\u201d It\u2019s not a question.

\u201cWhat?\u201d

\u201cShe gave you one.\u201d

\u201cTwo,\u201d Danny says after a long pause is drawn out. \u201cShe gave me two. I gave one to Grace and I maybe kept one, but it\u2019s a memento<\/i>,\u201d Danny says, pointing his finger in Steve\u2019s face. \u201cIt is not a chick thing.\u201d

Steve holds up both hands to protest innocence. \u201cI didn\u2019t say anything.\u201d

\u201cYes, but I can hear you. I can hear that brain of yours,\u201d Danny accuses.

There\u2019s another long pause as Steve goes through the photos and indulges in the sound of Danny drinking his coffee. Chin and Kono aren\u2019t in yet, taking a late morning because Steve had suggested they deserved more time off.

\u201cWhat\u2019d you wish for?\u201d

Danny arches his brow and regards Steve over his mug. \u201cWhat are you, new?\u201d he says in disbelief. \u201cBirthday candles, shooting stars, and goodwill from suspects who were exonerated,\u201d he lists on his fingers. \u201cThese are things you wish on and don\u2019t tell people about, because then they don\u2019t come true.\u201d

Steve, who maybe has held a wish in his heart to feel something that he saw his parents share with someone he trusts unconditionally, says nothing. He suppresses his smile and watches Danny for a long moment.

Long enough that it seems to get Danny twitchy.

\u201cWhat? What is it? What, do I have something on my face?\u201d he asks, turning his face back and forth. \u201cDon\u2019t gimme that look, McGarrett, or I\u2019ll wipe it off.\u201d

\u201cDanny,\u201d Steve says, letting loose the smile he\u2019s been holding in. \u201cI just wanted you to know that my wish came true.\u201d

Danny grins at him and sets his coffee back on a table that won\u2019t earn Chin Ho\u2019s wrath (one coffee ring on the monitor is all it takes to learn). It looks like the morning is ready and raring to go because Danny Williams is awake as anything.

\u201cYou\u2019re such a goof,\u201d Danny announces. \u201cHonestly. I sense that you were abused in high school for being a gigantic dork<\/i>. How off the money am I? I mean, I\u2019m pretty close, right? You were terrorized.\u201d

\u201cDanny,\u201d Steve says, looming over the other man and grasping onto his hips forcibly enough to leave fingerprint marks. \u201cShut up.\u201d

\u201cBabe, this time you\u2019re gonna have to make me.\u201d

Steve has never backed down from a challenge. Today is not the day he starts.

THE END","comments":"https:\/\/andrealyn.livejournal.com\/1496113.html?view=comments#comments","category":["pairing: steve\/danny","fiction: hawaii 5-0"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/andrealyn.livejournal.com\/1496433.html","pubDate":"Wed, 16 Feb 2011 01:29:23 GMT","title":"Title: I Wish You Well","author":"andrealyn","link":"https:\/\/andrealyn.livejournal.com\/1496433.html","description":"Title: I Wish You Well<\/b>
Pairing<\/b>: Steve\/Danny
Rating:<\/b> R
Disclaimer<\/b>: So very not mine, never were.
Word Count<\/b>: 11,842
Summary<\/b>: Let\u2019s get this straight. I am not married to Danny. I am not Steve Williams-McGarrett, I do not share my house with him, and I am not, never have been, and never will be his husband.<\/i> Steve wakes up married to Danny. Except that's not how the world is supposed to work.
Notes<\/b>: Thank you so much to <\/a>liketheroad<\/b><\/a><\/span> for the beta.



Tuesday starts with a suspect and an argument.

It\u2019s no different than any other day. If Steve could only have seen his day in full, he\u2019d know that wasn\u2019t true, but hindsight is twenty-twenty and there\u2019s no way he could\u2019ve expected what happened.

He spends the morning in hot pursuit of a suspect that\u2019s been circling laced cocaine around his<\/i> island. It\u2019s resulted in a successful bust. That very bust had also involved him, his truck, a cliff, and shuffling out of the driver\u2019s seat before it pitched over the edge.

Danny hadn\u2019t been with him. Danny had been on a separate call to pick up a woman soliciting products in the market that Steve suspected had a tie to Rodriguez, their coke runner.

Danny has heard<\/i> all about it, judging by his cold demeanor when Steve gets back to Five-O Headquarters and finds Danny in the middle of a casual interrogation with a woman clearly from off the island. She\u2019s blonde with blue eyes \u2013 Steve stops the similarities to Danny there, because she\u2019s fairer than him, fairer than anyone Steve\u2019s seen on the island before they strayed out to the beach too long and went red. Danny excuses himself politely, but the politeness stops the minute he gets out in the hall with Steve.

\u201cAre you an idiot? No, don\u2019t answer that,\u201d Danny snaps. \u201cOne, congratulations on the bust. Two? You\u2019re lucky to be alive. Three, I\u2019m just working up to being really<\/i> angry,\u201d he says in warning. \u201cBut I got a girl in there who everyone thinks is related to this drug thing, but I think is just a nice girl who moved to this island to make a living and I think shouting is gonna make her day even worse.\u201d

\u201cDanno\u2026\u201d

\u201cDon\u2019t! Don\u2019t you even try<\/i>,\u201d Danny says tersely. \u201cJesus, Steve. Do you know the phone call I got this morning from HPD? Telling me that my partner<\/i>,\u201d he says, patting down his chest with his fingers to emphasize his point, \u201cmy partner just pitched over the edge of a cliff and may or may not be<\/i> dead. For all that everyone in this place talks about us being married, Steve, I sometimes wish<\/i> we were,\u201d he continues, voice getting louder.

Chin and Kono are out booking other suspects, otherwise they\u2019d be out here to gawk by now. As it stands, their suspect is staring through the glass walls at the both of them with mild curiosity.

\u201cBecause if we were married, maybe, maybe<\/i>, I might get a little respect from you! Or compromise! Or the slightest moment of hesitation before you do insane things!\u201d Danny continues on his verbal rampage.

Steve doesn\u2019t try to get a word in edgewise. He\u2019s learned better.

He could<\/i> interrupt here and tell Danny that in the moment before he slid out the truck, the moment before gravity took hold of the vehicle and claimed it for the ocean, all he could think was a calm, If anything goes wrong, Danny\u2019s got this<\/i> followed by a sincere and regretful, If anything goes wrong, I\u2019m sorry<\/i> followed by an intense wave of loss and worry.

He doesn\u2019t tell Danny this.

It\u2019s hard to, what with Danny already back in the room with the suspect.

Steve follows along and leans against the frame of the door as he watches Danny from behind, acting as the silent partner in Annoyed Cop, Scary Cop.

\u201cLook, Rebecka, I don\u2019t think you were involved in this, but we\u2019re gonna need some samples of your dolls, just in case,\u201d Danny is saying.

Steve isn\u2019t a detective, but he\u2019s a smart guy and he knows Danny. He can see the softness in his eyes, the way he talks to the woman with sympathy like they\u2019re in the same boat. Haoles<\/i>, the both of them, just trying to make a living in a strange place.

\u201cAm I free to go?\u201d she asks. She\u2019s talking to Danny, but looking at Steve.

She\u2019s Swedish by the sound of her voice and Steve wonders how long she\u2019s been here. Her skin is pale as if she just arrived yesterday. No wonder Danny\u2019s picked up on a kinship with her. Steve keeps his thoughts to himself and won\u2019t comment about how maybe, just maybe, Danny is taking this personally.

That\u2019s not a thought that\u2019s bound to lead them down a safe road.

Steve crosses his arms over his torso and looks Rebecka up and down, debating what kind of threat level she possesses and whether or not he believes if she has any involvement in the crime. \u201cWe\u2019ll need you to come back in the morning,\u201d Steve says with a nod of his head. \u201cAnd we\u2019ll need you to bring in your things. If they\u2019re clean, you\u2019ll be exonerated.\u201d

She looks at him, perplexed, and it\u2019s Danny who offers a laugh and a shake of his head. \u201cHe means you\u2019ll be free to go for good if you check out,\u201d Danny says, interpreting Steve\u2019s words. \u201cYou can go for now,\u201d he adds, dismissing her with a wave of his hand.

She picks up her large purse and leaves, edging out past Steve \u2013 her shoulders hunched \u2013 but she stops just for a moment, just a hesitation of a second to look at him. \u201cYou should listen to your partner,\u201d is what she says.

She leaves in a hurry after that, as if she\u2019s been testing her luck and doesn\u2019t want to linger around any longer to see if she\u2019s gone a step too far. Steve watches her leave; tightness lingering in his limbs that makes him suspect a storm is breaking.

The way Danny is looking at him, it might hit closer to home than he expects.

\u201cI\u2019m still pissed at you,\u201d Danny says with heavy warning in his tone, flicking through his papers, \u201cBut we got a lead on some of Rodriguez\u2019s accomplices and we should head out to see if it\u2019s a real lead or if we\u2019re barking up the wrong tree.\u201d He points his finger at Steve as he passes, not flinching like Rebecka did. \u201cAnd this time, I\u2019m coming.\u201d

Steve holds up his hands to show that he isn\u2019t about to protest and he dutifully follows after Danny. He hasn\u2019t been in a serious relationship with anyone in a very long time, but he remembers this dance.

He screwed up. He needs to pay the price.

The drive to the docks is spent in unnatural silence, which bodes poorly for the rest of the day. Later, Steve will sit at home and go over every second in his head. He should\u2019ve seen<\/i> the ambush coming. Steve should\u2019ve done better<\/i> with the ambush, given his training, but at the time, he\u2019s distracted with thoughts of Rebecka Mueller and wondering just how pissed Danny is with him.

They get the call just as they\u2019re leaving the car. Steve practically launches his hands to get at the cell so they don\u2019t tip anyone off and hisses a brief, \u201cWhat?\u201d while Danny lingers just behind him.

It\u2019s Chin and he sounds vaguely frantic. \u201cIt\u2019s Rebecka. She never made it home, seems like Rodriguez sent a message to his guys. They watched her coming out of Five-O and they picked her up. They want to know what we\u2019re asking, how much we know. She\u2019s somewhere up there, bro, we got ourselves a hostage situation on our hands. Be careful.\u201d

Steve hangs up and shares a stormy look with Danny as he tries to formulate a plan in his head that gets them Rebecka, gets them their arrests, and manages to get everyone out alive at the same time. \u201cOkay,\u201d Steve says.

\u201cOkay?\u201d Danny replies, looking wary. \u201cIs that an \u2018okay, I have a plan\u2019 or is that \u2018okay, Danny, you should call Grace and get your last words in\u2019.\u201d

\u201cWould you just trust me?\u201d Steve says heatedly, anger rolling over his expression. \u201cIs that so much to ask after all this time together as partners?\u201d

\u201cTrust comes a lot faster when you don\u2019t get your partner shot so often!\u201d Danny heatedly shouts back at Steve, grabbing him forcibly by the sleeve and shoving him out of the way. \u201cCome on, I got a visual. They\u2019re down by the shipping containers. We got a clean approach if we hurry.\u201d

\u201cOkay, I\u2019ve got the lead,\u201d Steve says, a firm nod confirming this plan. \u201cYou\u2019re the backup.\u201d

\u201cJust like old times, huh?\u201d

\u201cJust like old times,\u201d Steve says in reply, a fond smile on his face as he claps Danny on the cheek just once, time slowing down long enough that Steve has time to brush his thumb over the line of Danny\u2019s jaw, memorizing the line and stubble and taking this moment, stealing it away in a pile of ones similar to it, all moments that never led anywhere.

Steve puts it aside, burying it, and gets in the right mindset for this mission.

He\u2019s not going to catch any criminals pontificating about the smell of Danny\u2019s skin at the juncture of neck and jaw.

His movements are stealthy and slow; his focus laser-like as he approaches and follows Danny\u2019s lead, knowing that there are two men waiting for them and Rebecka is likely in the hostile care of another accomplice. He clears the aisle of the next row of containers and turns to signal to Danny.

That\u2019s when it happens.

He doesn\u2019t even see it coming, but he feels<\/i> it intensely. The pain swarms over him as he registers that he\u2019s just been hit and Danny has to cover him. He knows that his partner\u2019s on it and his last thought before his vision swims dark is, C\u2019mon, Danny, I know you can do this.<\/i>

Steve should\u2019ve known that his week would only get worse from that point. He just had no idea<\/i> how bad things could get.

*

Steve wakes up on Wednesday morning and feels sick.

His stomach lurches, his head swims, and he\u2019s too hot for his own good. There\u2019s also another body breathing close-by.

Instinct kicks in before Steve\u2019s even fully awake and even in this haze of his vision swimming and his world settling, he finds it in him to slide forward and trap his would-be attacker with his knees, pinned to the bed. His hands go for the neck and form a chokehold there.

\u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u201d Steve barks, only easing up on the tight grip when he starts getting slugged repeatedly in the chest.

That, and he realizes that this isn\u2019t a stranger in dark wear coming to burgle his home.

It\u2019s Danny<\/i>.

And Danny\u2019s all-but-naked, only a pair of boxers keeping him from full nudity. Steve is on top of him, so close that he can hear Danny\u2019s accelerated heartbeat. He yanks both hands off and stares down in panicked horror at what he\u2019s just done while Danny wheezes and clasps at his neck.

\u201cFuck,\u201d Danny coughs out. \u201cNo<\/i>. No. I\u2019m still<\/i> not into that sort of thing, Steven,\u201d he gets out, clearing his throat again and again, trying to get back full use of his voice. He kicks at Steve\u2019s shin and Steve collapses back against the bed. He\u2019s still in his house, in his bed, but Danny is there.

Danny is there, practically naked, and wearing the ring Steve had seen him tuck away after he and Rachel just couldn\u2019t make things work.

\u201cI\u2019m going to be sick,\u201d Steve says carefully and considerately before he lurches out of bed and takes long strides to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him and collapsing to his knees, shoving up the seat of the toilet and hugging the porcelain.

It takes several minutes, but eventually Danny comes after him.

\u201cOkay, Steve, who gave you the drugs?\u201d Danny says flatly. \u201cWas it Kono? Because I told her that being your partner doesn\u2019t mean she gets to medicate you.\u201d

\u201cYou.\u201d That\u2019s all Steve gets out.

\u201cYes, hi, hello,\u201d Danny agrees courteously. \u201cMe, what?\u201d

\u201cYou\u2019re my partner.\u201d

\u201cYeah, and I\u2019m not arguing that, but only so far as the door. Then Kono gets you all day, babe,\u201d Danny goes on. \u201cSeriously, Steve, should I be worried the crazy parasite in your brain\u2019s finally taken over? Is today the day it bursts loose and sheds its Steve skin before conquering Hawaii?\u201d

Steve hears the lock come loose and looks up over his shoulder at Danny \u2013 who\u2019s seen fit to find a shirt in the meantime. He\u2019s managed to find (and decided to wear, without protest) one of Steve\u2019s<\/i> shirts.

\u201cThis isn\u2019t funny,\u201d Steve says flatly.

\u201cWhat, you hugging the toilet? No, it isn\u2019t. Do you want me to call the doctor?\u201d Danny asks, gesturing back into the bedroom.

Steve tries to put together the pieces despite his fuzzy mind, but it\u2019s too difficult at that exact moment. \u201cWhat I want<\/i> is for Chin and Kono to come out from behind the curtains so this joke can be over and we can go back to normal.\u201d

\u201cJoke.\u201d

\u201cYeah?\u201d

\u201cThis joke<\/i>,\u201d Danny repeats in a deadpan. \u201cYou know what, Steve? I\u2019m gonna let you stew in this for a little while until you come to your senses. And when you come around and have an apology ready, then maybe we\u2019ll talk.\u201d He slams the door behind him as he goes. \u201cAnd you\u2019re sleeping on the couch!\u201d

\u201cIt\u2019s my bed<\/i>!\u201d Steve shouts after him.

\u201cOur bed!\u201d Danny shouts right back. \u201cAnd you\u2019re sleeping on our<\/i> couch! I\u2019m going to work!\u201d he continues, rolling right along like a steamroller. \u201cAnd I\u2019m taking the truck!\u201d

That snaps Steve into action, but he\u2019s too late. By the time he gets down to the garage bay, the truck is gone. The Camaro is still there, though, and Steve palms the keys, throws on a pair of cargo pants and a polo shirt, and goes to work.

He\u2019s an idiot for thinking that getting there will give him any kind reprieve. The moment he arrives at Headquarters, the looks on Chin and Kono\u2019s faces should be enough to tell him that his day isn\u2019t bound to get any better.

\u201c\u2026boss,\u201d Kono says with trepidation when she sees him.

Chin looks worried, too. Danny is nowhere to be seen, and Rebecka Mueller is in the interrogation room again this morning with her wares. Five-O has a warrant to search them for drugs and at this point, Steve could really use a victory. He could use anything to make him feel better.

\u201cWhere\u2019s Danny?\u201d Steve demands immediately. \u201cWhat the hell kind of joke was that this morning?\u201d

\u201cSteve,\u201d Chin says, pitching his voice lower, \u201cDid something happen?\u201d

\u201cA lot of things went wrong, but sending Danny to my bed is not<\/i> professional,\u201d Steve snaps, considering he\u2019s barely been keeping himself together when it comes to Danny. He\u2019s already had enough lurid and lewd dreams about the other man to put together a finely-bound novel of pornography. Now he\u2019s being sent naked Danny into his bed like it\u2019s some kind of joke? And they\u2019re acting like he\u2019s<\/i> the problem. Like he\u2019s not the one whose patience is being tested at an impossible level.

\u201cYou\u2019re not wearing your ring,\u201d Kono says. \u201cDanny is going to kill you.\u201d

\u201cFrom what I hear, he\u2019s going to raise you from the dead and kill you again,\u201d Chin says. \u201cI heard you\u2019re already in deep trouble, brah.\u201d

Steve raises his hand in the air to make sure that everyone stops talking<\/i> for a minute because he needs to concentrate and put the pieces together. It\u2019s difficult when his head is pounding like a freight train is bearing down on him. When he looks up, Kono has a simple gold band in the palm of her hand and she\u2019s holding it out to him.

\u201cWhat is this?\u201d Steve asks flatly.

\u201cMake that dead three times over,\u201d Chin says.

Kono is starting to get anxious by the look of her body language and Steve doesn\u2019t ease off. He knows from experience that constant exposure to a demanding question will yield an answer.

\u201cWhat?\u201d Steve asks again.

\u201cIt\u2019s your wedding band,\u201d Kono replies evenly. \u201cI just thought you might want to put it on before Danny comes back from getting malasadas.\u201d

\u201cWhich is the easiest way to tell you two are having words,\u201d Chin says, barely waiting for Kono to stop speaking. \u201cWhen you two are fine, he stays off them in respect to your belief they\u2019re only leading to bypass surgery.\u201d

\u201cIt\u2019s not serious, is it?\u201d Kono asks worriedly, like she\u2019s concerned that her parents are about to split and she\u2019s going to have to choose sides in the divorce. Steve, however, still can\u2019t exactly put things together and is having a hard time with this.

He shakes his head, but swipes the ring and shoves it in his pocket. \u201cLet\u2019s get this straight. I am not married to Danny. I am not Steve Williams-McGarrett, I do not share my house with him, and I am not, never have been, and never will be his husband.\u201d

\u201cNo,\u201d Kono agrees.

Steve sighs with relief, feeling like he\u2019s about to earn at least some headway.

\u201cYou guys can\u2019t get married. Domestic partnership only.\u201d

And the impulse to strangle something is back.

Danny waltzes into the room at that moment with a paper bag in his hands, looking just as tense as he did that morning and missing a tie. Steve can\u2019t help the singular moment in which he has to swallow back a wave of desire that threatens to overcome him at the mere sight of Danny without his tie.

He is in deep trouble.

Danny\u2019s eyes roam over Steve\u2019s body and when his gaze lands on his hand, his shoulders lift and he starts to carry the majority of his tension in his back. \u201cDanny,\u201d Steve greets pleasantly. \u201cRebecka Mueller is back.\u201d

\u201cThat\u2019s nice,\u201d Danny says, grumbling heavily. \u201cHe does know he just upped his couch-time?\u201d he gripes in Chin and Kono\u2019s direction.

\u201cWhat?\u201d Steve asks, clueless. \u201cWhat did I do?\u201d

\u201cYou\u2019re still not wearing your ring!\u201d Danny shouts at the top of his lungs. \u201cSteve! Rules of being together! You make sure that people do not shoot me, you call for backup in bad situations, and you wear your ring<\/i>.\u201d

Steve glances to Chin and Kono to see the both of them nodding along like this is as regular as singing the national anthem and reciting the pledge of allegiance.

\u201cChin, I hereby release you from babysitting me today, I am in a mood,\u201d Danny says, pressing his lips together tightly. \u201cAnd in this mood, I am going to interview our suspect and the three of you can take over the island or whatever it is you do when I\u2019m not around.\u201d He reaches forward to clasp a folder from off the table and enters into the witness holding room, all the while Steve watches him go with a wide-eyed gaze.

He grimaces and starts to rub at the back of his head, cringing when it still aches.

\u201cBoss?\u201d Kono asks worriedly.

\u201cDid something happen?\u201d Chin asks. \u201cI hate to say it, but you\u2019re not really acting like yourself.\u201d

\u201cI woke up this morning and my head was killing me.\u201d Normally, Steve would just put this aside and tough through it, but normally, Steve doesn\u2019t wake up in places where he\u2019s married to Danny. \u201cI don\u2019t know, maybe yesterday at the docks was rougher than I thought.\u201d

\u201cDid you get that looked at?\u201d Chin asks.

Steve neglects to answer in an expert fashion.

Chin sighs heavily and beckons him with two fingers. \u201cC\u2019mon, brah, let\u2019s get you checked out before Danny explodes like a volcano god displeased with his sacrifices. Cuz, you got the fort?\u201d

\u201cYou can count on me,\u201d Kono promises with a sunny smile.

Chin drags Steve away and takes him to the local clinic where they get a diagnosis: low-grade concussion. Steve asks if it could be playing tricks on his memory and after a long pause, the doctor reluctantly agrees.

\u201cIt\u2019s not common,\u201d the doctor says. \u201cBut the world is made up of uncommon moments.\u201d

The doctor is related, distantly, to Chin and it means that there\u2019s a line from him to Steve through the bonds of family. It means that he should trust in this. It means that now he doesn\u2019t even know where to begin when it comes to this world.

He lets Chin drive him back to Headquarters and they spend the drive in silence. The lack of conversation itches at the back of Steve\u2019s neck relentlessly. He has a bottle of painkillers in his pocket and no explanation about how he could go from being single and okay to married and confused as hell.

\u201cIf I were Danny,\u201d Chin says, halfway through the drive, \u201cI would be commenting on your silence. I think he says it\u2019s the warning bell that sounds before disaster comes to shore.\u201d

\u201cDanny\u2019s a worrier and a nag,\u201d Steve replies out of rote.

\u201cNo arguments, but I\u2019m also not thinking that he\u2019s wrong. You okay, bro?\u201d

Steve shifts and stares out the window. He\u2019s caught himself looking at the sights going past, like he can pick out something different and tell himself that the world is<\/i> changed. He wants to be able to believe that his axis has spun out of balance and he can see the difference, but everything is so painstakingly similar that it\u2019s driving him to the edge of mad frustration.

\u201cI don\u2019t know, Chin,\u201d Steve exhales and rubs his palm over his face. \u201cYesterday, I thought I had my life in some kind of order. I had Five-O, I had Mary, I had the island, and I had Danny. And today, I wake up and\u2026\u201d And he still has all those things. He just has more of one of them. \u201cI wake up today and everyone is keen on telling me that somewhere along the way, Danny and I got together.\u201d

\u201cIn all fairness, I just thought the two of you were bound for some ridiculous weekend of sex followed by Danny straining his knee again. But I\u2019m not half the romantic that Kono is,\u201d Chin says, breaking out with a smile as he pulls into Steve\u2019s driveway. \u201cDoctor\u2019s orders. You\u2019re officially on bed rest.\u201d

The itchy feeling is back, like something he can\u2019t exactly scratch, and Steve clasps Chin\u2019s shoulder in thanks as he gets out of the car and heads inside.

He starts to inspect the home like he did the island. Here, though, he finds the differences that he\u2019d been searching for. The mantles are filled with framed photographs of three lives. There are pictures of Steve\u2019s childhood, Danny\u2019s, and several of Grace. Steve picks up a framed photograph that someone else has taken of the three of them. Danny has bowed his forehead to press to Grace\u2019s hair. She\u2019s holding a stick of cotton candy and staring skywards, and Steve\u2019s gaze is attentive and laser-like in its focus and fondness of the two.

It goes on like this.

He finds Danny\u2019s clothes in his closet. He finds good<\/i> ties, the quality of which Danny would probably never buy for himself. He finds books that aren\u2019t to his tastes and some that are, and he finds food in the fridge that he would never touch.

There\u2019s even a postcard of New Jersey stuck to the bathroom mirror, notes scribbled beneath it in Steve\u2019s writing, reading: Are you honest to god serious, Daniel?<\/i> and Danny\u2019s response of, Better place, Steven. At least, for summer holidays.<\/i>

Steve brushes his thumb over the postcard and the school picture of Grace just below it. There are photos of her all over the house and that\u2019s a subject that Steve can\u2019t even broach.

If he and Danny are serious, then what is he to Grace?

What is he supposed to know in this place he barely understands?

After hours of exploration, Steve checks his cell for any missed calls (just one from the pharmacist calling to give a message of instruction) and heads outside with a glass of iced tea to sit on the lanai and watch the shore bring the ocean waves home.

*

Steve hears the creak of the front door \u2013 something that he keeps saying he\u2019ll fix and never gets around to \u2013 hours later, after Kono calls and gives him an update about the Rodriguez case. She also helpfully warns him that Danny is on his way home and is in a good mood. \u201cSo,\u201d she goes on, \u201cif you could not ruin it, that\u2019d be great. I just got rid of my Danny-headache.\u201d

Steve has gone through three glasses of iced tea, wishing that he could grab a beer, but erring on the side of caution in not mixing it with his painkillers.

\u201cI uh, heard from Chin that maybe you got a head injury,\u201d Danny says when he finds Steve on the back steps of his house. His house, but it\u2019s apparently their<\/i> house now in this strange world that Steve\u2019s been transported to.

Steve pinches at the bridge of his nose and wonders if he\u2019s really left a different reality where he and Danny never got this far, where he only ever looked at Danny and never made the move because the delicate balance of their partnership was too precious to ruin. And yet, here he is. Here he is with a ring in his pocket and documents of proof all over the house.

\u201cI could\u2019ve sworn I had things right in my head,\u201d Steve insists, but the more he thinks about his sureness, the more it goes blurry. \u201cYou and I, we\u2019re partners.\u201d

\u201cWe were,\u201d Danny agrees with a lopsided grin as he settles down beside Steve and drapes his arm around his shoulder. \u201cI mean, it\u2019s not exactly a traditional wooing that you gave me, what with our guns in each other\u2019s faces the first time we met, but then you got me and Grace that hotel with the dolphins and you just kept on being that guy<\/i> and, Steve, I didn\u2019t date after Rachel. I just forgot how and then you came along and we fumbled through it like drunken idiot teenagers hell-bent on wanting to get to the good bit.\u201d

Danny shrugs, like he\u2019s lost for words.

\u201cMaybe when we got things together, I was an idiot, but you\u2019re a stubborn jackass who never lets go of his toys, so we got here, didn\u2019t we?\u201d Danny pries the ring off his finger and holds it up to the light, letting it glint in the sun. \u201cI mean, sure, you were a cheapskate about the ring\u2026\u201d

Even though Steve doesn\u2019t remember any of what Danny is telling him, he still knows who he<\/i> is and he wouldn\u2019t let that go idly by. He shoves Danny in the side and Danny goes sideways, arm falling away as he laughs in that warm tone that always makes Steve feel good to the very base of his being.

Danny\u2019s laugh is the one that makes him feel like he\u2019s found home.

\u201cSo, we\u2019re married,\u201d Steve says, staring out to the ocean and squinting as he processes the information. \u201cOr, relatively close to it.\u201d

\u201cYou wanna play twenty questions here? I mean, I got all day.\u201d

\u201cSo, after we signed the papers, where did we go? The big island?\u201d

There\u2019s a wicked look on Danny\u2019s face. That\u2019s a look that Steve doesn\u2019t like in the least and he regrets asking the moment the words come out of his mouth because coupled with a sneaking suspicion and the look on Danny\u2019s face, he suddenly knows.

\u201cNo<\/i>.\u201d

\u201cOh, yes,\u201d Danny says gleefully.

\u201cNo. No, I refuse to believe this. Head injury or not, there are some things that deserve to be lost to memory.\u201d

\u201cAtlantic City, babe,\u201d Danny crows, leaning in and pressing a comfortable kiss to the corner of Steve\u2019s lips. \u201cIt was you, me, a gorgeous penthouse, gambling until two AM, screwing until dawn, and then dinner with my parents the next night. We went to Jersey for our honeymoon.\u201d

\u201cYou\u2019re making this up,\u201d Steve accuses. \u201cYou\u2019re inventing things just to screw with me!\u201d

\u201cI am not making anything up,\u201d Danny says dutifully, holding up his hand. \u201cWhat else you wanna know? Rachel was my best man and you had Mary come stand as your witness. And then Kono made us do the garter thing, which\u2026if I weren\u2019t buzzed on champagne and you weren\u2019t trying to humiliate the crap out of me, I swear to god<\/i>, would never have happened.\u201d

\u201cAre there pictures?\u201d Steve asks suddenly, desperately needing to see this.

Danny sighs and leans his shoulder heavy against Steve\u2019s. He doesn\u2019t move, resting there as though he perpetually leans on Steve like this. \u201cYeah, there\u2019s pictures,\u201d Danny finally says. \u201cBut you don\u2019t get to see them until you\u2019re all rested. I think, sometimes, that there\u2019ll come a day when you stop scaring the crap out of me,\u201d he says, shaking his head. \u201cAnd then you do something idiotic and prove that I\u2019m going to an early grave, care of a heart attack.\u201d

\u201cYou seem to like me well enough to keep me,\u201d Steve says mildly, playing on assumptions that he\u2019s not sure are fully true, but feeling daring enough to try anyway. \u201cAnd Danno, if you\u2019re concerned about a heart attack, we might have to re-evaluate your food intake habits.\u201d

Danny lets out a brisk laugh and shakes his head, looking like a cat that just got the canary. \u201cYeah. You\u2019re an idiot,\u201d Danny says knowingly, sliding his fingers into the pocket of Steve\u2019s cargo pants \u2013 and sheer trust and months of partnership keep Steve from smacking Danny\u2019s hand away \u2013 before prying out the simple gold band. \u201cBut I\u2019ll keep you anyway.\u201d

Steve waits for what\u2019s going to happen next and just watches the way that Danny slides the ring onto Steve\u2019s finger with such caution and fondness that Steve realizes he\u2019s experiencing the kind of love his parents must have had before the accident.

Because if anything ever happened to Danny the way it did to his mother, no matter in what reality, he\u2019s not sure he\u2019d ever recover, either.

The simple gesture unlocks the floodgates. Instantly, Steve feels comfortable and falls into old patterns. He starts to tell Danny all about his day. He tells him about the doctor and the pills. He waves his empty glass around like a helpful tool. Danny keeps his hand on Steve\u2019s neck and brushes his thumb at the nape every few seconds and it makes Steve wonder if the sudden inability to speak can be blamed on the concussion or whether he\u2019s going to have to blame Danny for that.

An hour later, the sun is going down and Danny is talking about the investigation when Steve\u2019s stomach rumbles loudly.

\u201cI guess a hit to the head doesn\u2019t damage that freakish schedule of yours. Dinner at six, on the dot,\u201d Danny says with a wry scoff. \u201cWhat are you in the mood for?\u201d

\u201cHow about dough, sauce, and mozz,\u201d Steve suggests with a smile playing at the corners of his lips.

His appetite is running along the lines for something heftier \u2013 maybe a steak thrown on the grill \u2013 but considering how uneasy he feels in his own skin, it\u2019s good to make Danny grin like that, unfettered and free. It makes him settle and the itch at the back of his neck goes away.

\u201cWould you look at that,\u201d Danny says, giddy as a kid on Christmas. \u201cThere\u2019s a little Jersey in you after all.\u201d

*

There are lines that Steve shouldn\u2019t cross.

With the case on hold for the day and Kono and Chin gone, it leaves Steve and Danny in the office, a beer in Danny\u2019s hands. Steve watches his every move carefully, still unsure whether to think this is all the result of a heavy concussion or whether this really is some kind of alternate reality that\u2019s messing with his head. The lines that Steve needs to stay behind are starting to become apparent as he studies Danny and the weight of the ring on Steve\u2019s finger seems like it\u2019s trying to nudge him to across those lines.

He watches Danny play with the neck of the bottle, stroking it with his fingers. He watches the way Danny wets his lips every time he takes a break from watching the Magnum P.I. marathon on the television screen to look at Steve. He lets out a soft breath every time Danny reaches over to casually tap at his knee.

And even if Steve doesn\u2019t know how he got to this situation, he knows that he has the opportunity to do something that he\u2019s never been so sure of before.

They\u2019re married<\/i>, or as close to it as they can get. Steve could grab hold of Danny\u2019s wrists and restrain him against the wall, kiss him, and he wouldn\u2019t think twice about it. He could do anything that he\u2019s spent countless hours thinking about and Danny wouldn\u2019t mind. Danny would expect<\/i> it.

\u201cOkay,\u201d Danny sighs as he leans forward and presses pause. \u201cYou\u2019ve got your face on.\u201d

\u201cWhat face?\u201d Steve demands.

Danny gestures wildly to his face. \u201cYou! You with the face-face! How can you think I don\u2019t know that face? It\u2019s like clockwork. Anytime you think about sex, you get this look on your face and I thought I told you we\u2019re not doing it at the office since the Governor practically joined in on us that one time by accident.\u201d

\u201cI do not have a sex face, Danny, stop being ridiculous.\u201d

\u201cYou have a sex face and you are wearing the sex face. Steven,\u201d Danny says in a deadpan, \u201cif you wanted to have sex, you could\u2019ve just told me and I would\u2019ve turned off the nice television show set in an unfortunate location and we would\u2019ve gone home and had sex. Do you want to do that? Just say yes, just nod that pretty head of yours, because truth be told, I\u2019m kind of in the mood seeing as I\u2019ve been thinking of fucking you ever since you pissed me off enough to get banished to the couch.\u201d

\u201cOur arguments arouse you? Is that what you\u2019re saying?\u201d Steve is learning all sorts of new information today and he can\u2019t even be too upset by that.

Danny flashes a sheepish grin. \u201cWhat can I say, Rachel started a trend.\u201d

\u201cDanno, I don\u2019t even know how to feel about that,\u201d says Steve.

\u201cWell, considering you\u2019re getting to half-mast at me talking about sex, I think you feel horny. Steve, you, Lieutenant Commander McGarrett, feel like you want to do me. Correct me if I\u2019m wrong, here.\u201d

And here\u2019s the line.

Steve stares at Danny across the table and knows that it would be easy, it would be so incredibly easy, and no one would blame him. But he would hate himself and Danny might hate him if ever he found out, but as strong as Steve is, there are some ways that he\u2019s still weak.

Danny makes him weak.

\u201cLet\u2019s go home,\u201d Steve says, taking a leaping jump and landing as far over the line as he can.

Steve palms the Camaro keys and drives, abusing the speed limit all the way there, but it still seems like an eternity between the moment they leave headquarters and the time they get back to the house. It\u2019s made worse by the fact that Danny has started to get handsy during the drive, dragging his crooked knuckles over the inseam of Steve\u2019s jeans.

\u201cFuck you, Danno, fuck every inch of you,\u201d Steve very calmly says as he flicks on the turn signal and tries to ease off the gas pedal as Danny tries to take him apart with just a touch. The verbal abuse only seems to encourage him more, which explains so very much about Danny. \u201cFighting is just a prelude to fucking for you, isn\u2019t it?\u201d Steve spits out when Danny leans over the gearshift and starts mouthing hot kisses over Steve\u2019s neck.

\u201cWhat can I say?\u201d Danny says, sounding blissful and relaxed. \u201cI\u2019m a passionate man.\u201d

Steve wants to haul that passionate man up the steps where he can properly divest Danny of his clothes. He practically kicks out the door of the car to the sound of Danny\u2019s loud protests and takes long strides around to yank Danny\u2019s door open and grab hold of his tie.

Danny makes a small choking noise, but hurries to his feet. \u201cStill no on the asphyxiation,\u201d Danny says, seething from the roll of his eyes. \u201cYou are the most stubborn, pigheaded, sonuvabitch that I have ever met, do you know\u2026\u201d

Experience says that if you let Danny keep rambling on, there\u2019s no end in sight, so Steve takes advantage of this knowledge and his proximity to lean in, hunker down, and press his lips to Danny\u2019s, indulging in a kiss that he\u2019s not sure he\u2019s ever experienced before.

Rationality and knowledge of his injury tells him that they\u2019ve done this before. This isn\u2019t their first kiss.

The rapid-beating pace of his heart, the sweat on the back of his neck, and the way his stomach is riddled with butterflies, on the other hand, are keen to convince Steve that this is<\/i> the first time they\u2019ve kissed like this, intent and deep.

Steve gives up on trying to find a line of explanation in this and slides his splayed palm under Danny\u2019s untucked shirt, thumb brushing against Danny\u2019s nipple and rubbing until he provokes it to firmness, shoving the shirt aside and popping buttons as he goes.

What he does do is takes his time with the tie, both hands taking care to pull it away, like it\u2019s habit not to ruin his ties \u2013 like he knows the shirts are game, but Danny\u2019s ties are not on the menu of destruction.

It\u2019s almost worrisome that he\u2019s starting to lose his grip on what is and isn\u2019t real in his head.

\u201cThis is new,\u201d Danny murmurs throatily. \u201cUsually I\u2019m the one doing all the thinking in the bedroom. What\u2019s wrong, McGarrett, the hit to your head knock some thoughts loose or something? How about sanity, any of that in there?\u201d

It\u2019s practically a dare. Steve takes it as one and crouches over to haul Danny into a fireman\u2019s carry, arm slung around his ass as he transports Danny up the stairs and straight to the bedroom, Danny hollering all the way.

\u201cOkay, Steve!\u201d he shouts, sounding like he\u2019s using every inch of his lungs\u2019 capacity. \u201cThis is degrading and if you ever pull this in front of Grace, you are sex-benched for the next millennia<\/i>!\u201d

\u201cYeah, yeah, Danno,\u201d Steve says dismissively and drops him on the bed, crawling overtop him on all fours to get closer. He\u2019d be a lot more concerned about Danny\u2019s threat if he didn\u2019t see the look in Danny\u2019s eyes that says that Steve is about five seconds away from being practically devoured sexually.

That, and Danny\u2019s got a raging hard-on.

Steve feels entirely capable of taking care of it, even if his experience in this area is slightly lacking. Still, nothing stops him from sliding his body tightly overtop Danny\u2019s, snaking his palm between their hips to stroke at Danny\u2019s cock, thumb brushing the ridge of his own in the process. He goes into this eyes open, aware of everything and missing nothing.

He misses nothing<\/i>. Not the breathless way Danny sounds, not the way his mouth parts open and Danny\u2019s robbed of sound, not even the belabored way Danny moves his body. Steve doesn\u2019t miss any of it. He bows his head forward, pressing his nose to the crook of Danny\u2019s neck as he rocks forward and tries to seek out as much friction as he can.

Eventually, Danny manages to find speech again and it\u2019s all, \u201cOh Steves\u201d and \u201cFuck\u201ds and \u201cMcGarrett\u201d in a strangled tone that practically puts Steve on alert. His whole body is thrumming with energy and he lifts his head long enough to watch the way Danny falls apart when he comes, come spilling over Steve\u2019s hand.

This might be a mistake. Steve knows what he\u2019s been missing, now, and he can\u2019t bring himself to restrict himself from taking again. Given the situation, he\u2019s almost forced<\/i> to. Steve knows well-enough that Rachel and Danny had a healthy life in the bedroom and Steve never did settle for second best.

Danny looks groggy, peering up at Steve worriedly.

\u201cWhat?\u201d Steve asks.

\u201cYou want a hand, there, Superman?\u201d Danny asks, his vowels softened and his words sticking together.

Steve\u2019s already on it, hand bringing himself back to the edge. Truth be told, he\u2019s not feeling entirely like he needs to be brought off. The dull edge of pain throbbing in his head is sending mixed signals through his body and some part of him says that he\u2019s accomplished his mission of pleasuring Danny.

Rest can be had.

Danny wraps an arm tightly around Steve\u2019s waist and presses his lips to Steve\u2019s temple. \u201cSteve?\u201d

\u201cI\u2019m okay, Danny,\u201d Steve says, and grabs for the blankets to cover them both up despite Hawaii\u2019s heat and the tight space between their bodies saying they\u2019re not in need of the warmth. \u201cReally.\u201d

They lie there in silence, but Danny\u2019s breathing is too shallow for him to be asleep and eventually Steve folds to his curiosity.

\u201cWhat?\u201d

\u201cJust wondering,\u201d Danny says in a hush, \u201cif this is going to be the injury that makes you realize you have people that worry about you and that you aren\u2019t a foolhardy revenge-bent ninja anymore. Maybe a year ago, babe, but you\u2019d kinda piss me off if you died on the job. I mean, sure, I\u2019m the beneficiary and everything, but I\u2019d rather have you than a cushy check.\u201d

Steve shifts in order to look at Danny in pale moonlight.

\u201cDanny, I\u2019d never leave you, not on purpose,\u201d Steve says, incredibly serious. Danny\u2019s breathing has started to even out, calmed now that Steve has given him some reassurance. Steve lets his fingers splay over Danny\u2019s chest and contents himself in feeling the steady presence of a heartbeat and a reminder that Danny is alive.

Sleep is harder for Steve with the pain in his head, but he endures it. He\u2019d have to get up in order to take a pill and he\u2019s found the perfect position with Danny. He wouldn\u2019t move for the world and inevitably his persistence pays off.

The pain fades away until Steve, too, relaxes and falls to sleep.

The sun rouses Steve in the morning, but if that didn\u2019t do the trick, Danny\u2019s little snuffle-snort and half-turn onto Steve\u2019s body would\u2019ve done it. Steve barely keeps back his smile and adjusts his body to let Danny use his torso as a pillow.

Danny grumbles when Steve starts pushing his fingers in through his hair. Steve knows that Danny\u2019s not a morning person, but he is a light sleeper and the simple touch has been enough to wake him.

\u201cOne day, I swear to god, Steve, I\u2019m going to pay Chin to beat the morning person out of you,\u201d Danny mutters and slings his arm around Steve\u2019s torso just that much tighter, confining him to the bed.

They\u2019re both naked and they still smell of sex. After the long night, they hadn\u2019t made it to the shower, which is probably for the best. Steve has the feeling that if he gets Danny near a constant stream of water, he\u2019s not going to let him out for a very long time.

It\u2019s Thursday morning, Steve\u2019s head is aching slightly less, and Danny is in bed with him again. Steve lets his breathing even out and idly runs his fingers up and down Danny\u2019s neck, pausing occasionally to rest on his pulse.

\u201cChin can\u2019t take me,\u201d Steve says with smug superiority.

There\u2019s a long sigh coming from Danny, but he doesn\u2019t move. \u201cYour ego is not<\/i> an attractive quality in you, babe.\u201d

Steve could get used to this. He grins and flips them over deftly, straddling Danny\u2019s thighs with his knees digging into the bed and soaking up that exasperated smile on Danny\u2019s lips.

\u201cOkay, normally, I would be all for morning sex, but I have a note from your doctor that says no extra strain, so we\u2019re keeping it to once a day. Tuck it back in your pants, slugger,\u201d Danny says, sliding his hand across Steve\u2019s cheek and pushing it through Steve\u2019s hair, thumb brushing against the grey hairs he knows are at his temple. \u201cAnd do not even think<\/i> about making the puppy eyes. I am immune.\u201d

Steve has no idea what Danny\u2019s talking about. And this is just how he always looks when he doesn\u2019t get what he wants. So maybe his eyes are a little wider than usual.

\u201cOh, Jesus,\u201d Danny whines out as he exhales. \u201cI\u2019m immune, I swear to god, I am.\u201d

\u201cI\u2019m not doing anything,\u201d Steve protests his innocence.

\u201cYeah and you didn\u2019t blow up the docks last month either.\u201d

The strange part is that Steve really had. Even when he thought he was living in a world where he and Danny weren\u2019t together, he still remembers the argument vividly \u2013 soot staining Danny\u2019s face, shrapnel causing minor injuries all around.

He\u2019d wanted so badly to take Danny home after that whole mess, pin him to the wall and fuck him senseless. Steve has to wonder what happened here when the dust settled; literally<\/i>. Danny tightens his grip slightly on Steve\u2019s hair and sighs heavily.

Steve finally cedes to the doctor\u2019s advice and slides off of Danny\u2019s body, stretching out his limbs next to him.

\u201cSo if I can\u2019t have sex, what about a \u2026\u201d

\u201cIf you say swim, five-mile run, or anything else that makes me want to smack you, Steve, you\u2019re not getting breakfast in bed,\u201d Danny interrupts. \u201cAnd you were gonna get pancakes!\u201d

The itch beneath Steve\u2019s skin clamors against the desire for pancakes in bed, possibly in a position where he could easily snag his thumb into the beltloops of Danny\u2019s pajama bottoms. Say what Danny will, but he is in no way as immune as he thinks he is. The desire for pancakes and a possible handjob wins out over the driving need for exercise.

He relents and gives Danny what he hopes is a serene smile.

It doesn\u2019t seem to work completely. Danny still looks suspicious as hell, but Steve has the feeling that Danny hasn\u2019t seen a day of his life when he didn\u2019t find something<\/i> suspicious.

\u201cPancakes?\u201d Steve helpfully reminds him.

Danny\u2019s out of bed, grabbing hold of a loose pair of pajama bottoms and Steve\u2019s Navy shirt and shrugging it on. It sags on him, covering his ass and making it a tragedy in clothing form, but Steve can\u2019t help the slow smile of pride he gets at how right it feels to watch Danny claim a t-shirt of Steve\u2019s like it\u2019s nothing at all.

\u201cI\u2019m going, I\u2019m going,\u201d Danny promises, lifting a hand in the air to give a pump of solidarity. \u201cHold tight, Steve-o.\u201d

Steve bunkers down and amasses covers around him to keep himself comfortable, basking in the feeling of warmth and something like sheer acceptance. He knows Danny, even if he isn\u2019t sure of his place here, and he knows that no matter how crazy he\u2019s being, no matter how bent on revenge he might be, or how unable to communicate he is, Danny still gets him.

Danny gets him and Steve gets Danny, here.

It\u2019s enough of a comforting thought that Steve stays in bed all day and lets Danny pamper him. He eats up every last pancake, lets Danny put on the Jets, and falls asleep to the steady hum of Danny\u2019s voice as he talks to Chin over the phone and gives him a Steve update. \u201cI\u2019ll wake you in two hours, babe,\u201d is the last thing Danny murmurs to him before Steve drops off to sleep and the last thing he feels is a reassuring kiss to his temple.

cont'd<\/a>","comments":"https:\/\/andrealyn.livejournal.com\/1496433.html?view=comments#comments","category":["pairing: steve\/danny","fiction: hawaii 5-0"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/andrealyn.livejournal.com\/1487885.html","pubDate":"Sat, 29 Jan 2011 04:52:07 GMT","author":"andrealyn","link":"https:\/\/andrealyn.livejournal.com\/1487885.html","description":"Title:<\/b> Darling, Don't Fade On Me
Author:<\/b> <\/a>andrealyn<\/b><\/a><\/span>
Artist:<\/b> <\/a>thisissirius<\/b><\/a><\/span>
Type:<\/b> Slash, action-adventure.
Word Count:<\/b> 25,868
Rating:<\/b> PG-13
Characters\/Pairings:<\/b> Arthur\/Eames, Cobb, Yusuf, Ariadne, Mal.
Warnings<\/b> This fic deals with mental illness as applies to the physics and workings of the dream-world. This may touch upon sensitive subjects.
Summary:<\/b> Ten years ago, they achieved successful inception. Since then, Eames' sanity has slowly begun to splinter into various forgeries. Arthur puts together a plan to complete inception once more and bring Eames back to the world. Despite the threat of failure, losing Eames, and the perils of limbo, Arthur is willing to try anything.
Notes<\/b>: Thanks so much to <\/a>liketheroad<\/b><\/a><\/span> and <\/a>loveflyfree<\/b><\/a>The Plan<\/a> \/\/ The First Level<\/a> \/\/ The Second Level<\/a> \/\/ The Third Level<\/a> \/\/ Limbo<\/a>","comments":"https:\/\/andrealyn.livejournal.com\/1487885.html?view=comments#comments","category":["pairing: arthur\/eames","fiction: inception"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/andrealyn.livejournal.com\/473025.html","pubDate":"Sat, 04 Sep 2004 13:23:34 GMT","author":"andrealyn","link":"https:\/\/andrealyn.livejournal.com\/473025.html","description":"This journal is friends-only. Comment to be added. See profile for interests.

I tend to post the majority of my new fic on AO3 now, though I am a bit behind in archiving. To read the AO3 stuff, click here<\/a>. The rest of the fics are here under lock and key, however, I do not mind if you friend me only for the fics (please see my friending policy in my profile about how long I will keep you if you do not wish to friend me back). All fics are archived in my memories according to fandom here<\/a>.","comments":"https:\/\/andrealyn.livejournal.com\/473025.html?view=comments#comments","category":"admin"}]}}