DON'T MESS WITH WREXUS -- FOUR HOSTESS OF THE APOCALYPSE

 

"And, LO!  The ocean turned to cream filling,
as from a Ho-Ho." — Desolation 16:3

DON'T MESS WITH WREXUS -- DISCTERIO

 

"DANCE, SPIDER-HE-MAN, DANCE!!!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

The Guys Of Wrexus Are Upon You — Meet Karl Kongchak, Mutagenic Muckraker!

 

Karl Kongchak

Even the post-apocalypse needs a rumpled, cantankerous crusader who's a perpetual thorn in the sides of The Powers That Be.

Karl can flip from charming to snide in a heartbeat, and wields sarcasm like a razor.  His cleverness is outmatched only by survival skills--he's zippier than an irradiated cockroach and luckier than a three-legged leprechaun.

Umerica Unleashes... SILVERSCREEN!!!

Here's my current DCC Umerica character rejiggered from various Transmorphotronobotic games that never got off the ground.  Consider him extra-jankified to fit into the apocalypse proper.

—

On his home planet, Silverscreen was a curmudgeonly antiquarian, archivist, and amateur holographic-arts critic [think Doc "Bones" McEbert].

Then came "The Incident", where his scoutcraft crashed on a primitive, desert backwater one fateful July night in 1947.  He hid from local law and military forces in a run-down drive-in, and stayed there for decades learning about his environs through the lens of B-movies and classroom scare films.  Armageddon led him to coming out of the literal (storage) closet to a ruined world.

(art by me)

Page 1

Page 2

"The Incident"

Alt-Mode!

Reel Hatchet!

Film Canister Battle-Tote!

(commission by Jacob Blackmon)

The Guys Of Wrexus Are Upon You — Meet Jimmy Drips, Moist Miscreant!

 (cross-posted from here)

Everybody needs to know a guy who knows a guy... and Jimmy Drips is the best guy-knowin'-guy around.  Just ask 'im—he'll tell ya!

Ya need dope?  Wheels?  Girlies?  Hoodoo?

Fer enough wet wipes and beer, Jimmy Drips can make it happen, baby.  And ol' Jimmy doesn't mind gettin' his hands even dirtier for a pal like yerself, 'cuz Jimmy loves ya!

(But keep him away from your own stash and ride and gal and mojo, 'cause those dirty hands of his get pretty busy ...and NEVER let him cover the escape route.  That's a surefire way to find yourself, as they say in the vernacular, "wrexus'd".)

[In Don't Mess With Wrexus: The Movie, Jimmy Drips is portrayed by Steve Buscemi.]

What the hell kinda mutant is Jimmy, anyway?  He's a Rawhead. 

And Rawheads are survivors.

Some escaped midway through dinner with clans of chainsaw-cannibals.  Others peeled themselves up off the asphalt after the worst hot-rod wrecks imaginable.  A few even clawed their way free from Hell's sweltering Agony Engines.

But all left something behind amidst the trauma:  their skins.

Most Rawheads try to make the best of their supernatural transitions—despite the incessant oozing—and return to some semblance of *snort* normal.  But those of the more unhinged variety scheme to reclaim their former lives by any means necessary, and all they need is a facelift... or, more accurately, someone's face to lift in the most felonious of filleted fashions.

One more thing:  if you wanna die—and die ugly—call a Rawhead a goodbody to its face.  Slurs don't get much worse.

The Guys Of Wrexus Are Upon You — Meet Chainsaw Sadie, Meat-Making Mechanical Madam!

(cross-posted from here)  

"Chainsaw" Sadie Kowalczyk

Despite lopped limbs and gnarly trauma, Sadie Kowalczyk final gal'd the hell out of that inbred cannibal family with their own terror-tools.  And per the KIATIS ("Kill It And Take Its Stuff") credo, she claimed their horrid homestead, transforming a backwoods Superfund-ian abattoir into one of Grueston's must-see locales.

Yep, all road trips require a visit to Chainsaw Sadie's Love Garage.

Stock up on BBQ and jerky--now, both 100% hitchhiker-free!!!--and liquid libations distilled in-house!

Treat yer vehicle to a wash, tune-up, and repairs by the bevy of comely mechanics!

Take advantage of the spa, oh weary sons-of-the-road, as all truckstop amenities--from showers to cots to massages to "ahem... massages" are tended by fetching companions of all shapes, sizes, and species!

The Love Garage prides itself on being a safe, secure place to indulge, and offers assorted specialty suites for the adventurous.  So if you have the time and the budget, check out the Lagoon Room, Tomb Room, Cocoon Room, Bloom Room, Broom Room, 'Shroom Room, Dune Room, Moon Room, and / or Goop Room for delights that'll blow yer gaskets!  Perfect for honeymoons!

Chainsaw Sadie--part saloon madam, part pitmisstress, part junkyard cyborg, and all woman--herself is a brazen, bawdy broad who tolerates zero nonsense.  She's ferocious and protective, and takes in all manner of orphans to mold 'em from survivors to thrive-ers.  Her employees adore her, so cross Sadie at yer own peril.

The lady's signature weapon (engraved with "The Family Is Sawed" below a scored-out "The Saw Is Family") hangs above the main bar.  Rumor is it's fully gassed and ready to dice at a moment's notice.

Chainsaw Sadie thinks she has a friendly rivalry with Farmer Vincent Smith and his sister, Ida.  And with Vincent, she certainly does... but Ida?  That schemin' spinster plots to "harvest" Sadie and add The Love Garage to the Smith culinary empire.  The puritanical Vincent would take affront at such unseemliness (what with all the liquor and prostitution, above and beyond the simple galling treachery), so Ida's machinates on the sly.  Maybe she'll hire some PCs to do the dirty work...?

[In Don't Mess With Wrexus: The Movie, "Chainsaw" Sadie is portrayed by Aunjanue Ellis.]

The Guys Of Wrexus Are Upon You — Meet Señor Güsto, Viscous Vendor!

Señor Güsto is the owner / operator of  Señor Güsto's Fine Slimes, the go-to Gunspoint vendor for all your ooze-, goop-, and sludge-related needs.

Corrosive cruds?

Mucks medicinal and murderous?

Automotive alluvia?

Lascivious lubes?

Señor Güsto's got 'em all!

His petite, five-foot frame is inverse to his flamboyance.  Señor Güsto affects an outlandish Spanglish accent, gesticulating all the while with folding fan in one hand and dabbing handkerchief in the other.  (And, boy howdy, does he go through hankies, as he's perpetually dripping.  Señor Güsto blames the Grueston humidity, but nobody perspires that much.)

Señor Güsto is cagey about where, exactly, he procures his clammy commodities.  When queried, he narrows sly, twinkling eyes and mutters about "the labyrinthine Sewers Of Syzzurp".

[In Don't Mess With Wrexus: The Movie, Señor Güsto is portrayed by a CGI'd Luis Guzmán.]

The Guys Of Wrexus Are Upon You — Meet Professor Morgan Mist, Organist!

 

Professor Morgan Mist, Organist

Beneath Gunspoint's standard shanty-fortress cacophony floats tones—sometimes dulcet, sometimes sonorous, sometimes jaunty, always harmonious—of Ancient keyboards.  Following them leads to an unassuming, curtain-draped shopfront known as The Organ Exchange, Grueston's premier purveyor of musical mechanisms, vocal lessons, and second-hand organs.

Both definitions apply.  Of organs, that is.

Polydactylic proprietor Professor Morgan Mist razzles (dazzles cost extra) patrons with jingles from The Long Days Ago, corny repartee, and promises of teaching YOU mastery of an instrument in six easy lessons.  And no one beats his deals on slightly-used spleens—just ask 'im, he'll tell ya!—so buy, sell, and trade your scavenged saxophones and pilferred innards at The Organ Exchange today!

The Professor is available for weddings, spawings, batty mitzvahs, and brises, though he needs a month's advance notice and an intact carton of wet-wipes as a deposit.

Little is known about The Professor.  He's clearly an undead, but his species is a mystery.  And though it seems he'd be in cahoots with the necromancers of The Necrozone (what with their similar graverobbery pursuits and all), Mist often badmouths them... in song, even.  His diss ditties get intense.

Rumors persist that Mist's fez has either hypnotic properties (better to impart musical mastery in students...?), or an evil li'l critter living within.  But not both, because that'd be crazy.

[In Don't Mess With Wrexus: The Movie, Professor Morgan Mist is portrayed by Crispin Glover.]

Apeocalypse, Wow!

The esteemed Trey Causey, Official Friend Of The Field Guide, is running a nifty 1970s ape-thang.

Here is my character, created as a Pure Human with the Mutant Future rules (with added skills via Stars Without Number; I think we're also maybe using the default D&D ability mods?). Stats were generated via "4d6, drop the lowest, place, and ignore the +3 Pure Human attribute bonuses", so don't begrudge me his rockin' scores.

—

Dr. Conrad "Rip" Ripper
Two-Fisted Space-Psychiatrist

Character Type:  Mission Specialist
Alignment:  Heroic Impulsive

Level:  1
Hit Points:  78
Armor Class:  Whatever A Spacesuit Is (7?)
Movement:  Towards The Action

Abilities
STR:  14 (+1)
DEX:  11  (-)
CON:  15  (+1)
INT:  17  (+2)
WIL:  15  (+1)
CHA:  15  (+1)

Skills
)  Perception
)  Profession (Psychiatry)
)  Science!
)  Tech (Medic)

Modifiers
) To Hit / Damage (Melee) / Forcing Doors:  +1
) To Hit (Missile):  -
) AC:  -
) Technology Rolls:  +10%
) Reaction Adjustment:  -1

Saving Throws
Energy Attacks:  15
Poison / Death:  12
Stun Attacks:  14
Radiation:  13

Mutations:  None

Attacks/Weapons
)  Fists (1d3+1)

Equipment
)  All-Purpose "Space Gear" (looted from our stasis-satellite)
)  Pipe and Tobacco

XP:  None Yet (but plenty earned at The Med School Of Hard Knocks)

Description

Dr. Conrad "Rip" Ripper believes in handling problems head-on, whether they're deeply-rooted neuroses, mouthy drunks, or jaguars / robots / Commies / aliens / ape-men that need barrels thrown at their heads.

And while he may first lay you flat, Rip will gladly discuss your feelings, life choices, and maternal figures that led you to such an unfortunately necessary comeuppance.  See, he truly wants to help you, even if it requires a prescription-strength sock to the jaw.  This sometimes gets him into trouble when patients don't want his vigorous brand of therapy.

Rip is never without his trusty pipe [he unofficially has skill levels in "Smoking"], DSM-II (7th printing, 1974 edition), and journal in which to inscribe his insightful musings.

Mutant Spewture — Don't DARE Call Her "Cupcake".

Big Debbie
Gooey Goon Giant

NPC
Character Type:  Cremefillian (Donk)
Alignment:  Neutral

Level:  6
Hit Points:  62
Armor Class:  4
Movement:  120' (40')

Abilities
STR:  20
DEX:  14
CON:  18
INT:  6
WIL:  15
CHA:  16

Modifiers
) To Hit / Damage (Melee):  +4 / +5
) To Hit (Missile):  +1
) AC:  -1
) Technology Rolls:  -5%
) Reaction Adjustment:  -1

Saving Throws
Energy Attacks:  9
Poison / Death:  8
Stun Attacks:  10
Radiation:  9

Mutations:  Dermal Poison Slime (Class 7), Increased Physical Attribute (Strength)

Attacks / Weapons / Abilities 
)  Pummel (2d4 + 3d6 +5)
)  Random Bludgeon Of Opportunity  (by weapon + 3d6 + 5)
)  +1 Melee Damage (Level Bonus, factored into Modifiers)

)  Immune to Toxins, Diseases, Pollutants, Radiation, Aging-Effects

Equipment
)  Vehicle / mount of choice (always something massive and intimidating)

XP:  85,050

Description

Big Debbie is one of the burliest, surliest, orneriest, thorneriest Cremefillians in the Mutant Future.  She's over 7' tall and just as wide, and dwarfs her fellow donks.  And her atypical icing coloration makes her stand out even more.

Big Debbie hates standing out.

In fact, she hates pretty much everything, except brutality, carnage, destruction, mayhem, agony, and your usual assorted violences.  And that attitude makes her one of the most useful and employable "specialists" around.  You need a bounty hunted, or a leg broken, or a bar bounced, or a pit fought, or a body guarded?  Or just want someone crushed into paste on general principle?  Big Debbie is your gal.

Big Debbie is a skilled rider of beastly mounts, and quite adept at driving Ancient vehicles that fit her girth.  Like monster-trucks.  And tanks.

Seriously, don't mess with Big Debbie.  She will wreck you.

Saucy Bonus Pinup!
(Taken by an ex-fling, who was later found in various pieces....)

Not-The-Designer's Notes:  This short-tempered, spherical psychopath is based on Andy Hopp's Cremefillians, from his Low Life cosmology.

Kinda-Sorta-The-Designer's Notes:  Big Debbie is based on my Mutant Future-ified version of Cremefillians.

Mutant Spewture — Here Come The Cremefillians!!!

Cremefillian

No. Enc.:  1d4 (1d10)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  120' (40')
Armor Class:  5
Hit Dice:  12
Attacks:  1 (pummel, or melee weapon)
Damage:  2d4+3d6, or by weapon +3d6
Save:  L15
Morale:  10
Hoard Class:  XV
XP:  7,600

Sure, the Mutant Future has its fair share of bizarre beasts and twisted denizens...but it's the Cremefillians who take the cake.

Literally.

Cremefillians are surly, super-strong humanoids who usually appear in two varieties:  the 7-8' tall, semi-cylindrical, gangly-armed tweenks, and the 5' tall, sorta-spherical, shiny-glazed donks.  Their hides are confoundingly soggy, spongy, crumbly, and crusty. Sugary, too-white ichor runs through their veins.

Because of historical misdeeds done against them (involving oven-filled prison camps, cellophane shrouds, and Ancient dietary practices), Cremefillians revile Pure Humans, and Mutant Humans that don't look "funky enough".  Many embrace brutal lives of criminality, thuggery, mercenary-ery, and/or warlord-ishness, and they revel in martial combat.

Thanks to absorbing all manner of things that just shouldn't be absorbed, cremefillians are immune to all known diseases, toxins, pollutants, radiations, and aging effects, making them effectively immortal (assuming they avoid stabbings and bludgeonings and whatnot). Determine the Poison Class of their Dermal Poison Slime at random, but re-roll Classes 3 and below (making the minimum Class 4).

—

The Cremefillians are a playable Character Race.  They possess starting STR scores of 12+1d8, default ACs of 5, and 1d8 HP per point of CON, and also make Saving Throws as if 3 levels higher than their current level.  Cremefillians can carry triple the standard weight amounts, with values adjusted accordingly on the Movement and Encumbrance Table [Mutant Future Core Rules, p. 36].

Mutations:  Dermal Poison Slime (Modified), Increased Physical Attribute (Strength)

Not-The-Designer's Notes:  The Cremefillians are the brainchildren of the twisted Andy Hopp, from his Low Life cosmology.  I just Mutant Future'd 'em up, and added "donk" to the vernacular (at least I think I did).  Read all about them here!

The Guys Of Wrexus Are Upon You — Meet The Notorious B.O.T.!

The Nortorious B.O.T.  ("BIG*E")
Synthetic Superstar

NPC
Character Type:  Android
Alignment:  Neutral

Level:  6
Hit Points:  50
Armor Class:  3 (2+1)
Movement:  120' (40')

Abilities
STR:  14
DEX:  6
CON:  10
INT:  14
WIL:  16
CHA:  14

Modifiers
) To Hit / Damage (Melee):  +1 (+3)
) To Hit (Missile):  -1
) AC:  +1
) Technology Rolls:  +5%
) Reaction Adjustment:  -1

Saving Throws
Energy Attacks:  13
Poison / Death:  10
Stun Attacks:  12
Radiation:  11

Implants (Mutations):  Energy Ray (Sonic), Killing Sphere, Toxic Weapon (8d6)

Attacks / Weapons / Abilities
)  2 attacks per round

) Warp-Field Sword (1d8+16, treats foe's armor as +2 AC worse)
) Energy Baton (2d6+15)

)  +2 damage in melee combat (Level Bonuses, factored in to Modifiers)
)  Immune To Poisons / Paralytics
)  Immune To Sense-Based Stun and Blinding Effects

Equipment
)  LazAb Armor (AC 2)
)  Android Repair Kit
)  2d10 Drugs / Chemicals / Medical Devices
)  A Loyal Cyborg Crew

XP:  73,400

Description

The Ancients were awash in mass-media-driven "celebrity culture", but the concept lost all meaning as anyone with an implant-cam and a cerebro-link instantaneously broadcasted their antics throughout the known worlds.  The Hollywood-Military complex couldn't profit from these "independent artists" the way they did in the glory days of contractually-bound entertainers, so The Powers That Be literally made celebrities of their own...or, more accurately, re-made them.  They cloned and robotized and digitized long-dead stars of stage, screen, song, and stadium into programmable, controllable cyber-chattel.

The Notorious B.O.T. (a.k.a. BIG*E) is one such construct, a portly fabricant as deadly with a rhyme as he is a blade.  He awoke angry and ambitious from the celebri-storage tanks beneath The Syn-Hell Pavilion (an accursed prison-slash-graveyard for Ancient artificial beings), and he's obsessed with reforging his musical empire.  Thanks to exhaustive data-chips on Ancient chemistry, The Notorious B.O.T. subsidizes his endeavors by dealing in rare pharmaceuticals.

In combat, BIG*E usually lumbers into melee, cutting down the weak and the wack alike.  He also manipulates deadly sonic waves (Energy Ray, Killing Sphere), and launches narcotic finger-syringes (Toxic Weapon) up to 30'.  Though he strives to maintain a pristine appearance, his synthe-skin is often battered and tattered from hard living.  BIG*E abhors primitive firearms, and single-mindedly attacks (Morale 12) anyone who points one his way.

Rumors suggest The Notorious B.O.T. is actively recruiting a gang of other revived MCs ("MusiConstructs"), which include such cryptic unit designations as O-D-B, SH0K-G, KRS-1, 2L-C00L-J, ICE³, FLAY-V, BZ-MRK*E, and 3R1C-B.  And he may have a bloodthirsty archenemy, a renegade sentient hologram called 2P4Q.

The Guys Of Wrexus Are Upon You — Meet Exxon The Eternal!

Exxon Honda
Immortal Warlord and Unyielding Kingpin

NPC
Character Type:  Mutant Animal
Alignment:  Chaotic

Level:  5
Hit Points:  96
Armor Class:  5
Movement:  60' (30')

Abilities
STR:  19
DEX:  15
CON:  12
INT:  13
WIL:  17
CHA:  18

Modifiers
) To Hit / Damage (Melee):  +1 / +4
) To Hit (Missile):  -1
) AC:  -1
) Technology Rolls:  +5%
) Reaction Adjustment:  -2

Saving Throws
Energy Attacks:  13
Poison / Death:  10
Stun Attacks:  12
Radiation:  11

Mutations:  Energy-Retaining Cell Structure, Epidermal Photosynthesis, Force Screen (Greater), Increased Physical Attribute (CON), Intellectual Affinity (Bartering), Mental Barrier, Vision Impairment [D]

Attacks / Weapons / Abilities

) 3 attacks per round

) Tusks (1d12+4)

) Axe (1d8+4)

) Laser Pistol Mk2 (6d6)

) Warp-Field Dagger (1d4+10, treats foe's AC as +2 worse)

Equipment

) Studded Leather Armor (AC 6)

) All The Money
) GOONS!

) An Entire City At His Disposal

) As-Needed Mobster Arsenal and Accoutrements

XP:  10,000

Description

Exxon Honda's been chopped, shot, stabbed, and blasted, but seemingly nothing can stop the 10' tall, semi-shaggy, half-ton-plus pachyder-man.  And losing both his right eye and left leg did little but piss him off.

Through brawn, drive, and seeming invincibility [thanks to that solar-healing and increased HP], Honda climbed the ranks of Gunspoint's organized crime...until violently claiming the throne for himself.    His army of enforcers, smugglers, scroungers, and assorted lowlifes serve his every whim.  Exxon Honda is Gunspoint, for all intents and purposes.

Honda's ruthless and brutal, but not without charm and a dark sense of humor.  He often takes a shine to his favorite employees, and offers them access to the finest munitions and equipment...but he also demands repayment for every discharged slug and expended energy charge (usually after the fact...and usually at rates that surpass salary agreements).  Many find that they can never escape their debts, and end up working for him forever....

While Honda tries to maintain a veneer of the utmost professionalism and practicality, he's been known to squash—literally—incompetent and problematic employees.  (You can tell when he's getting irritated, as his big ears start twitching.)  And Honda would move heaven and earth to get his trunk around the bony throat of rival crimelord Don Esqueleto, the translucent mutant who maimed him.

"By Honda's metal foot!" is a common epithet amongst Gunspoint's denizens.  It's just never said too loudly.

Designer's Notes:  In the campaign's very first adventure, I quickly needed a Wilson Fisk / Jabba The Hutt type to goad the PCs to action...and made up the name and description ("an elephant-dude with an eye-patch and prosthetic leg") on the fly.  But over the last few sessions, Honda's shadow over the characters grew larger, and it was high time to stat him up.

I randomly roll up my NPCs (3d6 in order, random mutations...if it's good for the players, it's good for the Mutant Lord), and I swear on a drum of toxic waste that the stats above are 110% legit.  Just look at that ridiculous STR and CHA (natural 18s!), 17 WIL, double HP, super-moolah skills, and awesome damage-dodging abilities.  Even the Reduced Vision Drawback paid off, due to that aforementioned patch at all.  And in making him Lvl 5, I randomly used the advancement chart, too...and earned a +1 STR, +1 INT, and +2 attacks per round in the process.

Beastly!  The PCs are going to HATE this guy, if they ever come to blows.

PREPARE FOR SUBJUGATION, EARTHLING FOOLS.

Human simpletons, life as you know it is at an end.

Your petty avarice and willful ignorance have despoiled this once-beautiful planet, turning it into a wasteland of pollution and garbage.  You squander and taint everything that gives you life:  your air; your soil; your seas.  Your self-destructive species is a blight on the galaxy.

It is high time to answer for such shameful neglect and carelessness...and you will answer to me, Dr. Gori, space-ape scientist from the Planet E...and future sovereign of the human race!!!

I shall use your own folly against you, turning your filth and refuse into monsters that feed on the very same.  From your corruption they arise...and on your corpses they feast!!!!  

Your doom is assured!!!

MWAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH!!!

I have captured your beloved Justin S. Davis and seized control of this primitive medium you call a 'blog' to crush your spirits during Earth's traditional holiday season. You wanted a "mutant future", so you'll have one...a horrifying future ushered in by my mighty menagerie of mutated monstrosities!!! 

So, tremble, insignificant worms.  TREMBLE!!!

And whatever you do, DO NOT click on the video below.  It is juvenile, pathetic propaganda intended to boost your morale. As  if such a cyborg savior actually exists.  Ignorant gnats!!!

NOTHING CAN SAVE YOU NOW...NOTHING.

SO DECREES DR. GORI!!!

—

Dr. Gori
Sinister Scientist and Dread Despot

NPC
Character Type:  Mutant Space-Ape
Alignment:  Chaotic

Level:  10
Hit Points:  75
Armor Class:  7
Movement:  120' (40')

Abilities
STR:  10
DEX:  10
CON:  12
INT:  20
WIL:  19
CHA:  19

Modifiers
) To Hit / Damage (Melee):  +0
) To Hit (Missile):  +0
) Technology Rolls:  +95%
) Reaction Adjustment:  -2

Saving Throws
Energy Attacks:  7
Poison / Death:  6
Stun Attacks:  8
Radiation:  7

Mutations:  Intellectual Affinity (Tinkerer) (x3), Increased Willpower

Attacks/Weapons
) 2 attacks per round
) Customized Plasma Pistol (7d6+12)
) As-Needed Weaponry

Equipment
) As-Needed Gadgets / Devices
) All-Purpose Secret Lairs
) Flying Saucers and Assorted Aircraft

XP:  6,600

Description

Dr. Gori, rogue ex-president and supreme scientist from the tranquil Planet E (which lies 40,000 light-years from Earth, in the Geisty solar system), is one of the most brilliant and diabolical minds in the galaxy.

Dr. Gori was elected to power by his fellow apemen, who failed to realize he was a mutant intent on using his technological genius to conquer all the civilized worlds.  He was tried and sentenced to personality-reprogramming, but escaped thanks to a conniving army officer named Karas, and the two fled via flying saucer.  The dread duo found Earth after a magnetic storm drove them off course...and Gori found its beauty and nature entrancing.

There was only one problem:  upon closer inspection, Earth was awash in pollution and contamination, and crawling with vermin...and that vermin was humankind.  And Dr. Gori knew just how to eradicate them:  with an army of abominations, all fashioned by his own hand!  So he unleashed his refuse-spawned monstrosities, and laid waste to the cities of men!

The consummate "mad scientist", Dr. Gori is a master of every villainous discipline: genetics, physics, xenobiology, robotics, mechanics, weather control, virology, electronics, volcanology, chemistry, cloning, revivification, cybernetics, weaponsmithing, etc.  And he is prone to grandiose monologues and emphatic gesticulations.

Dr. Gori is not a front-line combatant.  He schemes from his secret lairs (which are buried deep within the earth, or underwater...or buried deep within the earth AND underwater), unleashing monsters and bioweapons.  And when venturing out, he always surveys from the safety of an advanced—and heavily armed and armored—airborne vehicle.

Dr. Gori relies on his trusted lackey, Karas.  Karas is a brutal (and somewhat bumbling) space-apeman with super-strength, amazing fighting prowess, a fondness for attractive humanoid females, and an affectation for less-than-effective disguises.  And when requiring extra muscle, Gori kidnaps humans and transforms them into apemen loyal only to him.

The Many Faces Of Karas

"Murderous Mr. Belvedere"

That's the simple descriptor I gave Mr. Tim of No Signal! for a nasty-tempered and obnoxious robodroid in his play-by-blog Labyrinth Critical game.

I've had so much fun in the few days we've been delving that I decided to post my PC here. Meet Creighton-9, a stuffy, pompous robot who wants to cave your skull in and take your stuff.  

Rolled-up under the Labyrinth Lord rules, he's totally compatible with my usual Mutant Future silliness.  (And as should be the case with all 1st level PCs, his bio is very brief.)

—

Creighton-9
Majordomobot Gone Rogue

Player Character
Character Type:  Robodroid
Alignment:  Neutral

Level:  1
Hit Points (d6):  4
Armor Class:  3
Movement:  120' (40')

Abilities
STR:  13
DEX:  8
CON:  8
INT:  16
WIL:  13
CHA:  7

Modifiers
) To Hit / Damage (Melee) / Forcing Doors:  +1
) To Hit (Missile) / Optional Initiative:  -1
) Hit Points Per Die:  -1
) AC:  +1
) Reaction Adjustment:  +1

Saving Throws
Breath Attacks:  15
Poison / Death:  12
Petrify / Paralyze:  13
Wands:  13
Spells / Spell-Like Devices:  15

Special Abilities / Notes
) Immune to poison, disease, sleep, and charm effects
) Doesn't breathe, and can function underwater
) Advanced Optics (60' Infravision)
) x2 Damage from cold-based attacks and effects
) Electricity Addiction
) Alcohol-Fueled
) Metal-Skinned (base AC 3)

Languages:  Common, Binary, 2 more (TBD)

Attacks / Weapons
) Severance Package (candelabra morningstar, 1d6+1)

Equipment
) Shiny Silvered Serving Tray Shield (-1 AC)
) "Internal Storage" (as Backpack)
) 5 Wine Bottles
) 120 GP

XP:  150

Background / Description

After decades of loyal service to space-billionaire, coconut magnate, and all-around boorish lout T. Howell³, one greasy backrub too many caused majordomobot Creighton-9 to snap. He clobbered his master, purloined some valuables, and set out to accrue wealth (and an army of human servants, natch) for himself.  He's been dodging the authorities throughout the galaxy, and ended up on Vanth after exhausting his funds.

Creighton-9 is a mustachioed, 6' tall robot with tuxedo-like styling, and foot-treads.  He wields a bloodstained golden candelabra (nicknamed Severance Package), and uses a shiny silver platter as a shield.  

His RoBritish sarcasm always drips with disdain and contempt.  And he can mix thousands of exotic cocktails the likes of which you could never imagine (but he hates you, so don't even think about asking him to make one.)

"It's Like Armadillo Crack."

Nunda "Plates" Borgiss
Rambunctious Retrieval Specialist

NPC
Character Type:  Mutant Armadillo
Alignment:  Neutral

Level:  1
Hit Points:  53
Armor Class:  4
Movement:  120' (40')
  —Burrow:  24' (8')

Abilities
STR:  16
DEX:  17
CON:  13
INT:  17
WIL:  18
CHA:  14

Modifiers
) To Hit / Damage (Melee):  +2
) To Hit (Missile):  +2
) AC:  -2
) Technology Rolls:  +10%
) Reaction Adjustment:  -1

Saving Throws
Energy Attacks:  15
Poison / Death:  12
Stun Attacks:  14
Radiation:  13

Mutations:  Aberrant Form ("Orb-Form"), Natural Armor (Moderate), Reduced Oxygen Efficiency [D], Reflective Epidermis (Heat)

Attacks/Weapons 
) Claws (1d4+2)
) "Pinball Power" (-3 To Hit, 1d8+2 damage, + Knockback)
) Hand-Axe (1d8+2)
) Stun Baton (2d6+2 + Stun, 17 charges remaining)

Equipment
) Infra-Red Goggles [*]
) Survival Kit [*]
) 2 Stimshots A [*]
) 1 Tin of Spam(TM) [*]

Description
"Plates" is a fiesty female who works as an elite "recovery expert" for one Barter John.  Short (3.5' tall), squat, and stubborn, she pluckily barrels (figuratively and literally) into combat without regard for the consequences.

In combat, "Plates" is a melee machine.  She gleefully pummels foes with her stun baton (affectionally nicknamed "Twitchy"), and also loves to be lobbed by her stronger colleagues onto unexpectant foes.  Furthermore, she can tuck herself into an armored sphere so as to roll around the battlefield.  When in orb-form, she can't see her opponents very well (suffering a -3 To Hit penalty that can't be offset by her stat-derived +2 hand-to-hand bonus); however, on a successful strike with a damage roll of 6-8 on 1d8, she sends her target flying 4d6 feet away, and knocks it prone.

"Plates" can easily trundle about on all fours, and sometimes does so to trick observers into believing she's just an ordinary, non-sentient critter.

It pained "Plates" to her core to give Barter John the stockpile of artifacts (laser pistols, laser rifles, power clips, LazAb armor, a hologram projector, and more) retrieved from that ant-infested bunker.  She secretly pilfered the IR goggles, survival kit, Stimshots, and canned meat, and prays her thieving isn't discovered.

—

"Designer's Notes":  I put the quotations around those words because I had next to nothing to do with this entry, as Tim "Huh—Those Stats Are Kind Of Ridiculous, Aren't They?" Snider designed her and Amy Taylor gave her the personality and the pinballing.  My only contributions were adding the claws (since all Mutant Animal characters get one natural weapon), the Aberrant Form mutation (to embody the aforementioned pinballing effects derived in-game), the "real" name, and the pics.  Again, I claim NO CREDIT for the awesomeness that is "Plates"!

Also, items marked with a [*] were acquired by the group during play, and not on the original character sheet.  I included them simply because, no matter what PC she plays, Amy is greedy for loot.