Is anyone else watching the new Aliens series? I signed up for Disney/Hulu so I can get it. Unfortunately my TV is glitchy, and hates this show more than others (it's getting old, and drops the wifi connection randomly), so I am seeing it in pieces.

I need to watch it again in a dark room. It's definitely got callbacks to the movies, and the feel of the lore from the books, but there's so.much.there.
(see, no spoilers).

Also watching Project Runway, which my TV doesn't hate as much. Very interesting so far.


Sorry I disappear. I am often busier during the day at work, and when I get home I just want to read and relax. Or go to the barn. lol There is a plan, but not following it just yet.

Work: Going okay for summer. Hopefully going to get a partner mid-October.
Church: Choir restarted practice this month. We restart at church the first Sunday in Sept.
Horses: Zolar is finally out of shoes after his lameness 'vacation.' *crossing fingers it stays that way*
Dogs: Annie still tries to strangle her brother with his collar while he randomly bite her ear. Fun times.

Last Sunday I made a joke about this being our version of snow.


Apparently, it was taken as a challenge. So in true Panhandle style, we got it all at once. All day Thursday. Then that night through to the next morning it blew and drifted. wheee
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I really think about posting in the early evenings, but when it gets to evening I just read until I have to go to bed. Sorry.

Things have happened. I have again put myself in the position of wondering if I'll have enough money to get me through the summer. Luckily this year I do have some savings going into the summer, as opposed to last year. Also, I don't have to carry the vaccine expenses, which help. Also, one of the girls is out on maternity, and the more expensive NP has been taking a lot of time off.
I was supposed to have a partner by now to share expenses, but the company spent 4 months trying to get one of the local peds to join. That makes me cranky. It was never going to work out because of our practice styles, so it is frustrating that it took so long for them to figure that out. They claim she just recently told them no for sure.

I has asked my GSD breeder for another puppy in Jan/Feb, which was about the time she had finished distributing a litter. So we had to wait until last week! So I got Helga Ann "annie" last Tuesday. Honestly, I was not looking forward to having a puppy because I know how hard it can be especially at first. O.M.G. She woke me up every two hours the first night, and three hours the next night. Friday night she managed until 5am. Last night woke me up twice. I can't wait to kick her little ass outside at night, but she's not quite big enough.
I told Balky for the last month to please not eat his sister. At first, when she came home, I thought he had ignored the 'not' part. He would put his mouth around her head, slam her down with a paw, or get too excited and bite her leg when I picked her up. *sigh* Got a playpen for the yard, so I could clean stalls without her.
By yesterday I could feel comfortable leaving her with him for quite a while, but still put her in the playpen when I went to town. Today I went to church, and then got groceries with no playpen!
Oh, and she has been coming to work with me. :)



The reason my savings isn't quite as high as it could be right now is because I bought another horse. Because I am an idiot(horse person). He's a son of my stallion (who just qualified for regionals in PSG, I1 and I1 Freestyle on Memorial Day weekend) and moves even better than my stallion. Also, my trainer knows I am a sucker, and will buy things on payments.
Daddy is on the left, "OJ" is the top one on the right.

Crazy, right?

Yesterday and today have been 60 mph gusts with sustained winds. A shitton of dirt in the air. And tonight we also have smoke from an out of control brush fire to our north. I replaced my hepa filter finally, and turned it on, but nothing helps with smoke. (as my Seattle peeps know).


I am so sick of coughing. I think I'm on week 6? Have done two different antibiotics, but I can't do steroids like I used to because my heart rate goes up pretty high. It's not my lungs, it's my sinuses dripping down the back of my throat. Joyous. Also, no cough med works, and I can't take phenylephrine because my heart rate.

Did I mention I am sick of coughing? Also, my body thinks it needs to cough up my lungs each time I cough, so I have strained the right side of my ribs.

My poor horse is used to me coughing while riding now. I am used to coughing while riding.

People who are not me are concerned I have something scary. When they hear me cough. And I think the rest of the choir is worried I'll give it to them. I can sing, for the most part, but my voice gets worn out sooner than usual.

Slowly getting better. I think. Slowly.


My Lent practice is to be more open and honest about myself. I don't lie about myself, but I don't give a lot of extraneous info. Partly because I think of things to say when I'm in the barn/shower/toilet/etc, and by the time I get to a place to write it down, I've thought it all out and am done with it. Partly because I think people don't care.

So far I have shared with a friend a video from my church Ash Wed service where we sing one of my favorite songs. They didn't video last year or this year, so I had to use two years ago. It was a risk because he doesn't do church. And we've only been chatting again for a few months.

I keep meaning to write an email to my priest in answer to a question he asked me last month, but as I think about it it's turning out to be a less clear answer than I thought. Also, I keep thinking about it in places I can't write. And I worry it may be extraneous and not needed, maybe make him think differently (poorly) about me. Which he won't do.


Last night while cleaning stalls not only did I have the horses monitoring me cleaning stalls, but the main barn cat came out and laid in the runs as I cleaned those. Apparently I need a lot of supervision. :/


I got Balky a new chew toy yesterday. It had a disc of really hard treat inside a plastic/rubber toy. He worked at it over an hour, maybe two. Cool.

See, I always think of things to say, but by the time I get to my computer, I just want to read. And eat popcorn. And drink tea. I am so totally exciting.

Pictures!
Thank you all for the lovely holiday cards.


The other day I was saddling Zolar for a lesson, and I saw this lovely tableau of the grumpy duo. lol


Because I was concerned for the old dog Sally, I had a custom doghouse duplex built. It has insulation, is a bit off the concrete, and has lights that will give off a little heat when it's cold. Kitty, the german shepherd 'helped' build it, and she thinks it's awesome. Sally still thinks it was all too loud, and wants no part of it. lol But it's there it she wants it.
I haven't removed the old doghouses yet. Going to keep them for a while yet.
Had to take this through the window screen so I wouldn't disturb Kitty.

*After watching 'Making the Cut' on Netflix, that has fashion designers that already have business experience, watching Project Runway is like watching babies. lol Still watching it, though.


*Why is it that cats need to sit on phones and remotes? They're not warm. But, I suppose, God forbid we pay attention to something that isn't them.


*Kitty (3yo german shepherd) has become way clingy the last two weeks. She insisted on going to work with me Friday before last. I thought she would get really bored, and give up, but then the next day she wanted to come in again after I let the horses out. (it's what we do when she goes to the groomer).

That, of course, immediately made me worry about Sally (11.5yo Kangall/Great Pyr) because it signaled to me that she was slowing down and not entertaining Kitty as much. It's taken me a bit to calm down again about that. I decided to go back to sitting with the dogs for a bit after I'm done at the barn. I can pet Sally and throw the ball for Kitty. Also bought some more wobble wag giggle balls . She loves them. Then breaks them. lol

I also checked with her breeder to see if there were any puppies coming up. May be time to get a new puppy. A little boy. There may be a litter coming sometime soon. (yes, a breeder. I need a healthy puppy that doesn't have issues preinstalled. I can install my own issues, thank you.)
The idea of having to deal with another T Rex, er, GSD puppy is a little scary. I still have the puppy crate. May need a new dog box. Although I was thinking about maybe getting a heated dog house. Not sure.


*I have new barn cats!!! Yay! I was really worried that I was going to have to beg some from another farm since I had lost my last one. I did see a snake go under my haystack a few weeks ago, which scared me a bit, but I think it was big enough to eat mice. Maybe? But they don't work in the wintertime.

But, I've seen three different mostly feral cats. And, since I was kind of cranky about work, I eventually named them after not quite nice medical terms/abbreviations.

#1 is a medium grey tabby. Officially LGFD, but I call him El Gee. (Looks Good From Door. Mostly because that's about all the closer I can see him from)
#2 is a white with creamy orange spot on the back. Call him FLK. (Funny Looking Kid)
#3 is a creamy orange. Finally came up with Tracks. (as in train tracks. as in "train wreck." started with orange cream, which was way too cliche).

Find the cat.



*Work is changing immensely. For the past 20 years, my call group has gone to the hospital to see our own patients and babies. We have seen sick kids on the weekends in our clinics when we've been on call. Yes, it can suck. No, we didn't always get paid for it*. But it was rewarding seeing our kids, and making relationships with the staff on the different floors. I have been (and still will be until the new year) on multiple committees, and have learned so much from them.

However, we have had two doctors retire in the last 6 months, and no replacement anticipated any time soon. So, at our post last retirement meeting, most of the remaining doctors declared that they were getting older, and wanted to stop. They actually had well thought out reasons, which, after thinking about them, made sense. Also, if they weren't going to be going, then that would leave me and one other person to be on call - yeah no. All the other pediatricians in town have long ago stopped going to the hospital, and I understand that in general in bigger cities, we're among the last of pediatricians to stop going. It's possible because pediatric hospitalists became a thing about 5-10 years ago (we would never leave our kids to be treated by non pediatricians).

It was a bit heartbreaking, to be honest, and it still occasionally makes me sad. OTOH, I'll get to be a regular person. Sort of. Work M-F, no weekends or holidays. No nights being woken up four times by the hospital. It's a little heady. lol So, as of Nov 1, 2021, we're clinic only. Luckily, I have good relationships with both main hospitalists, and they've promised to take good care of my kids.
And I can always change my mind and go back to the hospital. But I probably won't. Because free weekends.



*the only doctors who are paid to be on call are those that are on a call schedule to be available to the ER if needed. Mostly surgeons. They get paid by the hospital for that. The rest of us have to pay an answering service to answer our calls, then get woken up for free. So, be nice to your primary care provider.

Since I haven't posted for a while, I thought I would bring photos. :)

Pretty flower by my garage.



Dan, the cat at my horse vet. Dan is a girl. The kids named Dan before their dad determined the sex. :) Dan can be very clingy with the claws, but allows adoration.


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This is the weekend we usually go to NM for the dressage pilates clinic. Funny enough, this did not happen. I had planned to get my three horses their yearly vet visits F/M/Tu, and then Sat was an ordination, and Sunday was confirmation with the Bishop. Then there were things I wanted to do at home-clean up the barnyard, cull some books.
Yeah, Saturday was not a good day for me. Overwhelmed, bitter, cranky. I finally gave myself the permission to not do any of those things (except the vet). Felt so much better. And then Zolar started being short on his left hind. lol Ah well.

Took Zolar back to the vet today. Xray showed some slight changes, but nothing that's a problem. Xray and US showed some swelling in the left stifle (knee). He injected both, then said I needed to get him even stronger. So, more riding time.

Now I get to bring Tess back tomorrow. lol Sigh.

But, I did finish Sweet Home on Netflix. 10 episode Korean horror that was so very good. Really really hoping there's a season two because there is so much more to explore.

Now I'm watching To The River, which is a Russian 8 ep series about a plague that starts in Moscow. So far it's a little freaky to see them talking about the start of an epidemic. Just starting the first episode.


The other day I went to pet Sally where she was laying next to the wall, and got the shit scared out of me.


lolol Only one I've seen recently.

My last day here with the trainer. eek!
Now I take Tess and the cart home and do it on my own. Gonna get a friend to help me the first time or two, at least.

I've been taking my time here as a sort of vacation, even though it's a little-ish town (35,000). Took a walk around a lake yesterday (maybe pictures tomorrow), took a nice outside lunch on the square. Ate a lot of ice cream. lol And, for once, I actually used the swim suit I always bring with me on trips-hot tub.

Pictures!
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